s/o: Force child to go to TJ?

[Anonymous]

I am in the opposite situation. My kid really wants to go to TJ and I think his base school would be a better fit. I want him to get in and decide he doesn't want to go, so he doesn't feel rejected, but I think if he gets in he will not turn it down. Just a few more days to wait...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you force or even persuade? TJ is for kids who have a passion in these subjects and they want to dig deeper. A regular FCPS high provides a fine education and in fact, it’s likely your kid would have a “better” college outcome there. Not sure what the point of pushing them to go is at all if they aren’t self motivated.

(Of course, I say that as the child of parents who absolutely would have forced me to go. I thank my lucky stars we didn’t have something similar where I grew up.)

+1 - and I’m a TJ alumna who went *despite* my parents’ apprehension! TJ spiraled into toxicity precisely because of parents pushing in kids who didn’t belong and/or didn’t want to be there, and they didn’t have any interest in engaging what previously made it such a great community. See: test prep, cheating scandals, 8th period clubs with founders/presidents and no members, the decline of team athletics/academic competitions, etc.

A bright kid will very likely have a better “ROI” at their local HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in the opposite situation. My kid really wants to go to TJ and I think his base school would be a better fit. I want him to get in and decide he doesn't want to go, so he doesn't feel rejected, but I think if he gets in he will not turn it down. Just a few more days to wait...

Do people really think will come out before spring break? Why not wait until after break since website says will give offers by April 30. Why do on Friday before break?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in the opposite situation. My kid really wants to go to TJ and I think his base school would be a better fit. I want him to get in and decide he doesn't want to go, so he doesn't feel rejected, but I think if he gets in he will not turn it down. Just a few more days to wait...

Do people really think will come out before spring break? Why not wait until after break since website says will give offers by April 30. Why do on Friday before break?

Precisely so that people have a week to process and be distracted by other things. They do it on a Friday at 6 PM so that they're not in the office to receive the angry phone calls, email messages, pleas, and threats until Monday.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. The workload is no joke and a kid who doesn’t want to be there will be miserable. Why don’t they want to go? Are they afraid of not succeeding at TJ or are they just not interested in an intense STEM environment?

[Anonymous]

No. They will just be miserable and do worse than. They would if in their home school.

[Anonymous]

REMINDER!

1) At this time of year, a certain subsegment of parents will do *anything* for their kid to have a chance at TJ. That includes posting a ton of messages here that are designed to trick parents into deciding that TJ is "too risky" or "might not be the right fit". These people will pose as TJ parents, students, and grads in order to try to sell this idea.

2) There is essentially zero risk to starting out at TJ, giving it a few weeks or months, and then deciding after *actually experiencing it* that it's not the right fit for you and your family. Might be too tough, might be too far, might just not be what you want to prioritize - but try it first and give it a shot.

It's relatively easy to try TJ and then go back if it's not right - it's near-impossible to decline the offer and then get in if you have regrets about saying no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:REMINDER!

1) At this time of year, a certain subsegment of parents will do *anything* for their kid to have a chance at TJ. That includes posting a ton of messages here that are designed to trick parents into deciding that TJ is "too risky" or "might not be the right fit". These people will pose as TJ parents, students, and grads in order to try to sell this idea.

2) There is essentially zero risk to starting out at TJ, giving it a few weeks or months, and then deciding after *actually experiencing it* that it's not the right fit for you and your family. Might be too tough, might be too far, might just not be what you want to prioritize - but try it first and give it a shot.

It's relatively easy to try TJ and then go back if it's not right - it's near-impossible to decline the offer and then get in if you have regrets about saying no.

REMINDER !!!!

The wait list for the class of 2029 has not even been created yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:REMINDER!

1) At this time of year, a certain subsegment of parents will do *anything* for their kid to have a chance at TJ. That includes posting a ton of messages here that are designed to trick parents into deciding that TJ is "too risky" or "might not be the right fit". These people will pose as TJ parents, students, and grads in order to try to sell this idea.

2) There is essentially zero risk to starting out at TJ, giving it a few weeks or months, and then deciding after *actually experiencing it* that it's not the right fit for you and your family. Might be too tough, might be too far, might just not be what you want to prioritize - but try it first and give it a shot.

It's relatively easy to try TJ and then go back if it's not right - it's near-impossible to decline the offer and then get in if you have regrets about saying no.

This requires a parent to (1) assume that their kid would not get in (2) that their kid is put on a waitlist (3) their post on DCUM would impact enough people to opt out of admission to TJ and (4) that spot would open up to their kid.

This is a level of conspiracy that belongs to tin foil hat territory. But looks like we have found one nut job.

[Anonymous]

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[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you force or even persuade? TJ is for kids who have a passion in these subjects and they want to dig deeper. A regular FCPS high provides a fine education and in fact, it’s likely your kid would have a “better” college outcome there. Not sure what the point of pushing them to go is at all if they aren’t self motivated.

(Of course, I say that as the child of parents who absolutely would have forced me to go. I thank my lucky stars we didn’t have something similar where I grew up.)

Because you're the parent and you might know your kid would be better of there than at their base school.

I don't think you should force a kid to go to TJ. The workload is no joke. You learn a year of honors math every semester. Every class is academically rigorous. You even get written exams in PE.

You cannot half ass your way through. If they don't want to be there, they may not expend the necessary effort to be successful. And then they world get nothing out of it.

They don't have to be enthusiastic, but they can't be reluctant. They certainly can't be forced.

Try to persuade them, discuss the pluses and minuses and in the process you might end up changing their mind, your mind or both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Because if things don't go well, if they don't get the grades they want or the college they want, they will always blame you for making them go to TJ. Anything that goes wrong, will be your fault in their eyes and they will be resentful and angry and full of "what ifs." Or they may tank on purpose.

HS is too old to force a child to go to a school they don't want to go to. You have to have some buy-in from teenagers at this point or it will be a disaster.

————
This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you force or even persuade? TJ is for kids who have a passion in these subjects and they want to dig deeper. A regular FCPS high provides a fine education and in fact, it’s likely your kid would have a “better” college outcome there. Not sure what the point of pushing them to go is at all if they aren’t self motivated.

(Of course, I say that as the child of parents who absolutely would have forced me to go. I thank my lucky stars we didn’t have something similar where I grew up.)

Because you're the parent and you might know your kid would be better of there than at their base school.

I don't think you should force a kid to go to TJ. The workload is no joke. You learn a year of honors math every semester. Every class is academically rigorous. You even get written exams in PE.

You cannot half ass your way through. If they don't want to be there, they may not expend the necessary effort to be successful. And then they world get nothing out of it.

They don't have to be enthusiastic, but they can't be reluctant. They certainly can't be forced.

Try to persuade them, discuss the pluses and minuses and in the process you might end up changing their mind, your mind or both.

Nope. Not persuading a kid to go there. They were interested enough to take the test. They can decide if they want to go. It is not like they are deciding to go to college or not. This is totally optional and meant for people who are passionate about these subjects.

The only way I could see persuading a kid is just reassuring them if they have imposter syndrome but are interested. Otherwise, they do actually have to be enthusiastic!

[Anonymous]

Would you strongly encourage- not force- your child if the students says “I don’t know” to TJ attendance? The student has strong math/science grades (99% IAAT, all As without retakes); the student is very reserved so he won’t decide on anything if he isn’t 100% sure he likes it/can do it; the student lacks confidence because there are “smarter” (child’s own words) kids in his base school whom he thinks should definitely go to TJ; the students is likely to pursue a STEM career because he is very “practical” in terms of finding jobs or income prospects in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you strongly encourage- not force- your child if the students says “I don’t know” to TJ attendance? The student has strong math/science grades (99% IAAT, all As without retakes); the student is very reserved so he won’t decide on anything if he isn’t 100% sure he likes it/can do it; the student lacks confidence because there are “smarter” (child’s own words) kids in his base school whom he thinks should definitely go to TJ; the students is likely to pursue a STEM career because he is very “practical” in terms of finding jobs or income prospects in the future.

The bolded is pretty important to me, as someone who lived through TJ in what most would say was a less-competitive time. I would say TJ is a pretty rough environment for kids who lack academic confidence. Kids like your child who easily get As will suddenly be surrounded by everyone else who has also easily gotten As all their lives, and the competition was fierce even when I was there. It's wasn't competitive in a "I will take you out to get my own advantage" way either, but there was just a lot of academic one-up-manship.

Go to TJ because you want the post-AP classes they offer. Go to TJ for the peer group. Go to TJ because you are passionate about tech labs and mentorship. Go to TJ because you do math for fun. Go to TJ because you think science is amazing.

But I wouldn't say going to TJ is great because your kid will probably go into STEM because you can usually make a living that way. That's not passion, that's settling.