Expectant father - go back to high stress biglaw job?

[Anonymous]

You can live on $300k. Full stop. And if you ever again find yourself thinking that you can't, please smack yourself HARD in the face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another father here. I went from big law to fed when my DC was 3. I wish I had done it sooner. My time with my family is my real life, and every hour I spend with them is worth more than gold.

I will leave the law before going back to big law as a parent.

We could live very comfortably on an HHI of 140k. Numbers breakdown per month is roughly:

3500 mortgage
600 utility (gas, electric, water, phone, Internet)
800 grocery
100 kid activities
1000 aftercare/saving up for summer camp
1000 529 contribution
1000 investment
100 save up for vacation (we mostly camp)
500-1000 for incidentals

And still making max contribution to 401k.

But I also recognize if you don't have a house already, saving up for a down payment might be extremely difficult. In that case, maybe a few years of biglaw to get yourself settled might be worthwhile. The only issue is that there might not be a fed job to come back to.

Also, as a litigator, I have found in house roles extremely hard to crack. People say "oh, just go in house", but it's not easy!!

So you would have a 1-2% tax rate?

[Anonymous]

Do you want another baby? If yes and if you want to have that child in the next 5-6 years, you need to go back to biglaw. Daycare for two will easily run more than $4k/month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you want another baby? If yes and if you want to have that child in the next 5-6 years, you need to go back to biglaw. Daycare for two will easily run more than $4k/month.

At that point nanny or au pair is probably more cost effective

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want another baby? If yes and if you want to have that child in the next 5-6 years, you need to go back to biglaw. Daycare for two will easily run more than $4k/month.

At that point nanny or au pair is probably more cost effective

Who is getting a nanny for $48k/year? And where are you going to house an au pair in a home with a $4000/month mortgage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want another baby? If yes and if you want to have that child in the next 5-6 years, you need to go back to biglaw. Daycare for two will easily run more than $4k/month.

At that point nanny or au pair is probably more cost effective

Who is getting a nanny for $48k/year? And where are you going to house an au pair in a home with a $4000/month mortgage?

We have a nanny for 7 hours a day, $25/hr. $4k a month and approx $48k per year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want another baby? If yes and if you want to have that child in the next 5-6 years, you need to go back to biglaw. Daycare for two will easily run more than $4k/month.

At that point nanny or au pair is probably more cost effective

Who is getting a nanny for $48k/year? And where are you going to house an au pair in a home with a $4000/month mortgage?

We have a three bedroom with an additional room in the basement for a lower mortgage

[Anonymous]

Hi op. Lots of good advice here. First I agree with others to please ignore the poster who said something about expectant father, it is great and appropriate and accurate that you identify yourself as expecting to have a baby soon! Such a weird take that poster had.

More importantly. Definitely don’t make this jump BEFORE baby, as long as what you’re saying about your gov position is true. So much shifts and I would give yourself time to adjust and make the call when you have adjusted more to fatherhood.

$300k is great. You can provide a great life. Are things harder these days, yes. They are. But that is still a great combined salary and what many of us raise our families on very very happily living balanced lives with lots of time with our kids.

When you are planning for your baby and adding up costs I remember it can be hard to make it all make sense. But somehow it does seem to work. Other costs go down, like eating out, or going out for drinks with a friend. And your salaries continue to go up typically even if it feels like they won’t. Right now you think but how could we possibly add a second daycare cost when we want a second??? Don’t worry about that now. It will come. Somehow we all move things around and find options that work, work shifts and raises come. You’ll be ok and the time with your kids is worth so much as long as you have a good salary to start from which you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody ever regrets the time they spend with their kids. You can absolutely live in a 2 bedroom condo and raise a happy and healthy child. You don't need some huge house.

Depends on what your kids are like!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody ever regrets the time they spend with their kids. You can absolutely live in a 2 bedroom condo and raise a happy and healthy child. You don't need some huge house.

This. I’m a single parent and I’m just now about the hit $100k (my son is now in college). We lived in a one bedroom with a den for his entire life. I always had money for the basics (and sometimes more). Budget for a simple life plus an emergency fund.

[Anonymous]

My DH made $150,000/ year when we had kids and I stayed home. He now makes $200,000/ year while I stay home with our two kids. I’d you could find a job making $200,000/year and you cut expenses, you could afford a townhome. Your DW could stay home or you’d just agree to save less during the baby years.

This lifestyle does include used clothes, few vacations, and generally looks like a lmc lifestyle, which was hard to adjust to. Most of our kids’ toys were used, even Christmas and birthday presents. No birthday parties until the kid was 4 because they wouldn’t remember it anyway. Free/cheap hobbies, like board games, hiking, and playing at playgrounds. No eating out. It was hard at first, because we both have master’s degrees. We grew up UMC and felt entitled to more. We don’t regret downsizing our lifestyle because we got so much time with the kids. Now that they’re in elementary school, we’re working more. Moving out of the DMV helped, too.