Happiness at Sidwell...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have a prob. with taking the loan. It was financially prudent.

so it was a loan ? Has the school paid it back yet ? No they have not. Grifters will grift !

It was a loan that the federal government later forgave. Are you familiar with the concept of loan forgiveness?

Here’s a list of other schools that accepted the money (this list is not exhaustive):

St. Andrew’s Episcopal School (while Trump’s child attended the school);
Landon;
Our Lady of Good Counsel;
Field;
Lowell;
Edmund Burke;
Gonzaga;
Georgetown Prep;
Bullis;
Charles E. Smith Jewish Day School;

Sierra Canyon;(LA);
Brentwood School (LA);
Poly Prep Country Day (NY);
Columbia Grammar (NY);
Saint Ann’s (NY);
Packer Collegiate (NY);
Brooklyn Friends (NY);
United Nations International School (NY); and
Latin School (Chicago)

Every time I come across a post that attempts to single Sidwell out for accepting money that was legally offered to it, I’m going to repost this list. Not because I care about what you think of Sidwell. I just think others should know that Sidwell was not alone in making a financially prudent and legal decision. Sidwell was also one of the first schools to inform its school community (and the press) about its decision to accept the money, while other schools avoided discussing the matter publicly.

If you don’t like it, don’t send your children to Sidwell (as if that was even a possibility).

[Anonymous]

The bracketed part of the last sentence in the above post exemplifies the meanness that exists at Sidwell. We are so glad we left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.

DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.

We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”

Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.

We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.

Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣

Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.

You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?

From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.

Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.

DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.

We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”

Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.

We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.

Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣

Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.

You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?

From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.

Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.

DP. “Fit” doesn’t only apply to academics. There are schools that are great academic fits and/or great social fits (which includes school culture). There are schools that are neither.
It sounds like Sidwell isn’t a great social fit for you or your daughter…and that’s ok. That’s no different than any other high school in this country.

Btw, how do you know your daughter is at the top of her class academically? And how do you define the top? Sidwell doesn’t rank, nor does it confer any academic honors. Further, there are some graduating classes where no students have a 4.0. I’m not saying your daughter isn’t at the top of her class. I’m asking how do you know that’s true?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.

DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.

We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”

Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.

We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.

Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣

Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.

You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?

From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.

Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.

DP. “Fit” doesn’t only apply to academics. There are schools that are great academic fits and/or great social fits (which includes school culture). There are schools that are neither.
It sounds like Sidwell isn’t a great social fit for you or your daughter…and that’s ok. That’s no different than any other high school in this country.

Btw, how do you know your daughter is at the top of her class academically? And how do you define the top? Sidwell doesn’t rank, nor does it confer any academic honors. Further, there are some graduating classes where no students have a 4.0. I’m not saying your daughter isn’t at the top of her class. I’m asking how do you know that’s true?

I know because if you have friends in prior graduating classes you know what the top GPAs look like. It doesn’t change much from year to year. I wasn’t saying she’ll be valedictorian if that’s what you mean but she will likely be in the top 10.

You’re also making unfounded assumptions about fit. DD would say she’s happy and has lots of friends. Being a teen she shrugs off the relational aggression as people being anxious or stressed. That may be so but from an adult perspective it still makes for an unhealthy environment.

So from your perspective if someone points out the toxic unhealthy aspects of an institution it means they’re just not a good fit? By that token many Americans are a bad fit for US citizenship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.

DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.

We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”

Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.

We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.

Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣

Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.

You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?

From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.

Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.

DP. “Fit” doesn’t only apply to academics. There are schools that are great academic fits and/or great social fits (which includes school culture). There are schools that are neither.
It sounds like Sidwell isn’t a great social fit for you or your daughter…and that’s ok. That’s no different than any other high school in this country.

Btw, how do you know your daughter is at the top of her class academically? And how do you define the top? Sidwell doesn’t rank, nor does it confer any academic honors. Further, there are some graduating classes where no students have a 4.0. I’m not saying your daughter isn’t at the top of her class. I’m asking how do you know that’s true?

I know because if you have friends in prior graduating classes you know what the top GPAs look like. It doesn’t change much from year to year. I wasn’t saying she’ll be valedictorian if that’s what you mean but she will likely be in the top 10.

You’re also making unfounded assumptions about fit. DD would say she’s happy and has lots of friends. Being a teen she shrugs off the relational aggression as people being anxious or stressed. That may be so but from an adult perspective it still makes for an unhealthy environment.

So from your perspective if someone points out the toxic unhealthy aspects of an institution it means they’re just not a good fit? By that token many Americans are a bad fit for US citizenship.

If your daughter is thriving academically and she would say “she’s happy and has lots of friends” at Sidwell, then it seems that Sidwell is only a bad fit for you. Your definition of a toxic and stressful environment isn’t universal, but you don’t seem to grasp that fact. Based on what you have said, I do believe that Sidwell is a toxic environment for you. Your daughter is happy at Sidwell and that is what matters most.

You still didn’t answer my question about how you define being “at the top” of Sidwell’s class. What does that cumulative GPA look like to you? Btw, I’m beginning to doubt that you’re a Sidwell parent because Sidwell hasn’t had a valedictorian for well over 30 years. Why would you even include that statement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.

DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.

We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”

Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.

We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.

Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣

Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.

You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?

From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.

Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.

DP. “Fit” doesn’t only apply to academics. There are schools that are great academic fits and/or great social fits (which includes school culture). There are schools that are neither.
It sounds like Sidwell isn’t a great social fit for you or your daughter…and that’s ok. That’s no different than any other high school in this country.

Btw, how do you know your daughter is at the top of her class academically? And how do you define the top? Sidwell doesn’t rank, nor does it confer any academic honors. Further, there are some graduating classes where no students have a 4.0. I’m not saying your daughter isn’t at the top of her class. I’m asking how do you know that’s true?

I know because if you have friends in prior graduating classes you know what the top GPAs look like. It doesn’t change much from year to year. I wasn’t saying she’ll be valedictorian if that’s what you mean but she will likely be in the top 10.

You’re also making unfounded assumptions about fit. DD would say she’s happy and has lots of friends. Being a teen she shrugs off the relational aggression as people being anxious or stressed. That may be so but from an adult perspective it still makes for an unhealthy environment.

So from your perspective if someone points out the toxic unhealthy aspects of an institution it means they’re just not a good fit? By that token many Americans are a bad fit for US citizenship.

This hasn't been a thing at Sidwell for at least 50 years, probably more, if ever. It is kind of a tell that you would cite this falsely for a school that doesn't acknowledge it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.

DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.

We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”

Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.

We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.

Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣

Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.

You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?

From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.

Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.

DP. “Fit” doesn’t only apply to academics. There are schools that are great academic fits and/or great social fits (which includes school culture). There are schools that are neither.
It sounds like Sidwell isn’t a great social fit for you or your daughter…and that’s ok. That’s no different than any other high school in this country.

Btw, how do you know your daughter is at the top of her class academically? And how do you define the top? Sidwell doesn’t rank, nor does it confer any academic honors. Further, there are some graduating classes where no students have a 4.0. I’m not saying your daughter isn’t at the top of her class. I’m asking how do you know that’s true?

I know because if you have friends in prior graduating classes you know what the top GPAs look like. It doesn’t change much from year to year. I wasn’t saying she’ll be valedictorian if that’s what you mean but she will likely be in the top 10.

You’re also making unfounded assumptions about fit. DD would say she’s happy and has lots of friends. Being a teen she shrugs off the relational aggression as people being anxious or stressed. That may be so but from an adult perspective it still makes for an unhealthy environment.

So from your perspective if someone points out the toxic unhealthy aspects of an institution it means they’re just not a good fit? By that token many Americans are a bad fit for US citizenship.

This hasn't been a thing at Sidwell for at least 50 years, probably more, if ever. It is kind of a tell that you would cite this falsely for a school that doesn't acknowledge it.

I was using the term colloquially in the sense of being the #1 student because PP seemed to think I was claiming DD was THE top student in her class. 🙄

Otherwise the question as to how I know DD is among the top, which is the phrase I should have used to be more specific, makes no sense. Most Sidwell parents know what the range is for the top 10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.

DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.

We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”

Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.

We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.

Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣

Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.

You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?

From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.

Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.

Another Pp here to say ‘I hear you’ . Luckily the college stuff in 3rd paragraph didn’t happen in our class - but first second paragraph is 100% valid and experienced by us and our high stats highest rigor Sidwell grad. We also have kids at other Big 3 with challenging courseload and it’s nothing like Sidwell on those dimensions. The kids work hard but they have so much more fun day to day and the teachers care about the kinds instead of treating them like they need to be constantly’tested’ not to mention strict rules mentioned by a different pp (for no good reason. )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.

DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.

We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”

Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.

We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.

Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣

Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.

You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?

From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.

Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.

DP. “Fit” doesn’t only apply to academics. There are schools that are great academic fits and/or great social fits (which includes school culture). There are schools that are neither.
It sounds like Sidwell isn’t a great social fit for you or your daughter…and that’s ok. That’s no different than any other high school in this country.

Btw, how do you know your daughter is at the top of her class academically? And how do you define the top? Sidwell doesn’t rank, nor does it confer any academic honors. Further, there are some graduating classes where no students have a 4.0. I’m not saying your daughter isn’t at the top of her class. I’m asking how do you know that’s true?

I know because if you have friends in prior graduating classes you know what the top GPAs look like. It doesn’t change much from year to year. I wasn’t saying she’ll be valedictorian if that’s what you mean but she will likely be in the top 10.

You’re also making unfounded assumptions about fit. DD would say she’s happy and has lots of friends. Being a teen she shrugs off the relational aggression as people being anxious or stressed. That may be so but from an adult perspective it still makes for an unhealthy environment.

So from your perspective if someone points out the toxic unhealthy aspects of an institution it means they’re just not a good fit? By that token many Americans are a bad fit for US citizenship.

If your daughter is thriving academically and she would say “she’s happy and has lots of friends” at Sidwell, then it seems that Sidwell is only a bad fit for you. Your definition of a toxic and stressful environment isn’t universal, but you don’t seem to grasp that fact. Based on what you have said, I do believe that Sidwell is a toxic environment for you. Your daughter is happy at Sidwell and that is what matters most.

You still didn’t answer my question about how you define being “at the top” of Sidwell’s class. What does that cumulative GPA look like to you? Btw, I’m beginning to doubt that you’re a Sidwell parent because Sidwell hasn’t had a valedictorian for well over 30 years. Why would you even include that statement?

If you were a Sidwell parent, you’d already know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.

DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.

We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”

Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.

We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.

Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣

Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.

You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?

From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.

Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.

DP. “Fit” doesn’t only apply to academics. There are schools that are great academic fits and/or great social fits (which includes school culture). There are schools that are neither.
It sounds like Sidwell isn’t a great social fit for you or your daughter…and that’s ok. That’s no different than any other high school in this country.

Btw, how do you know your daughter is at the top of her class academically? And how do you define the top? Sidwell doesn’t rank, nor does it confer any academic honors. Further, there are some graduating classes where no students have a 4.0. I’m not saying your daughter isn’t at the top of her class. I’m asking how do you know that’s true?

I know because if you have friends in prior graduating classes you know what the top GPAs look like. It doesn’t change much from year to year. I wasn’t saying she’ll be valedictorian if that’s what you mean but she will likely be in the top 10.

You’re also making unfounded assumptions about fit. DD would say she’s happy and has lots of friends. Being a teen she shrugs off the relational aggression as people being anxious or stressed. That may be so but from an adult perspective it still makes for an unhealthy environment.

So from your perspective if someone points out the toxic unhealthy aspects of an institution it means they’re just not a good fit? By that token many Americans are a bad fit for US citizenship.

This hasn't been a thing at Sidwell for at least 50 years, probably more, if ever. It is kind of a tell that you would cite this falsely for a school that doesn't acknowledge it.

I was using the term colloquially in the sense of being the #1 student because PP seemed to think I was claiming DD was THE top student in her class. 🙄

Otherwise the question as to how I know DD is among the top, which is the phrase I should have used to be more specific, makes no sense. Most Sidwell parents know what the range is for the top 10.

I’m a Sidwell parent of two students (one is an alum), and I still don’t know “what the range is for the top 10.” The CCO won’t tell you, so how do you know unless you’ve seen everyone’s transcript?

But since you claim to know such things, for at least the 3rd time, what is the GPA range, to land in the top 10 as a graduating senior at Sidwell?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.

DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.

We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”

Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.

We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.

Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣

Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.

You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?

From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.

Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.

DP. “Fit” doesn’t only apply to academics. There are schools that are great academic fits and/or great social fits (which includes school culture). There are schools that are neither.
It sounds like Sidwell isn’t a great social fit for you or your daughter…and that’s ok. That’s no different than any other high school in this country.

Btw, how do you know your daughter is at the top of her class academically? And how do you define the top? Sidwell doesn’t rank, nor does it confer any academic honors. Further, there are some graduating classes where no students have a 4.0. I’m not saying your daughter isn’t at the top of her class. I’m asking how do you know that’s true?

I know because if you have friends in prior graduating classes you know what the top GPAs look like. It doesn’t change much from year to year. I wasn’t saying she’ll be valedictorian if that’s what you mean but she will likely be in the top 10.

You’re also making unfounded assumptions about fit. DD would say she’s happy and has lots of friends. Being a teen she shrugs off the relational aggression as people being anxious or stressed. That may be so but from an adult perspective it still makes for an unhealthy environment.

So from your perspective if someone points out the toxic unhealthy aspects of an institution it means they’re just not a good fit? By that token many Americans are a bad fit for US citizenship.

If your daughter is thriving academically and she would say “she’s happy and has lots of friends” at Sidwell, then it seems that Sidwell is only a bad fit for you. Your definition of a toxic and stressful environment isn’t universal, but you don’t seem to grasp that fact. Based on what you have said, I do believe that Sidwell is a toxic environment for you. Your daughter is happy at Sidwell and that is what matters most.

You still didn’t answer my question about how you define being “at the top” of Sidwell’s class. What does that cumulative GPA look like to you? Btw, I’m beginning to doubt that you’re a Sidwell parent because Sidwell hasn’t had a valedictorian for well over 30 years. Why would you even include that statement?

If you were a Sidwell parent, you’d already know.

I am a Sidwell parent, and I don’t know. You’re NOT a Sidwell parent, but you’re pretending to know. A real Sidwell parent knows better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.

DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.

We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”

Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.

We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.

Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣

Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.

You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?

From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.

Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.

This was a single incident by one parent almost a decade ago. It was totally uncalled for and everyone associated with it knew it and called it out at the time.

[Anonymous]

Very happy DC parents and alumni DC too. There’s no other in the region

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Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.

DP. Your unkindness and rejection of other perspectives is exactly what we hate about Sidwell. There are some serious pieces of work among the parent body.

We have children at other schools and agree that Sidwell’s balance between pressure and joy leans heavily toward pressure and less joy. My son teases his sister by calling Sidwell “Sadwell, No Friends.”

Our daughter thrives as much as it’s possible to do there and she would not want to leave. Knowing what we know now though we would have encouraged her to go elsewhere.

We have not been thrilled with Bryan’s leadership and the level of ruthlessness among some of the families is impressive in a not good way.

Too bad, so sad(well). 🤣

Hopefully, your family chooses “best fit” over prestige when selecting a college for your daughter. I’m positive the writing was on the wall before she enrolled that Sidwell wouldn’t be a great fit for her. You guys chose to ignore the signs.

You read my post with a spirit of meanness that pervades your posts and exemplifies my point. Our daughter is at the top of her class academically. Is that enough fit for you?

From a parents’s perspective I see peers that are ruthless about competing, sometimes trying to tear each other down in a nice, faux-Quaker way. I see academic demands that crowd out down time and exploration of non-academic interests. I see teachers who get off on making impossible demands so they can give themselves the title of toughest teacher.

Some of the parents are over the top. At no other school have I heard of a parent calling a college’s admissions office to try to sabotage another student’s application. While that was the most egregious example, I could cite many other instances of ugly parental behavior.

DP. “Fit” doesn’t only apply to academics. There are schools that are great academic fits and/or great social fits (which includes school culture). There are schools that are neither.
It sounds like Sidwell isn’t a great social fit for you or your daughter…and that’s ok. That’s no different than any other high school in this country.

Btw, how do you know your daughter is at the top of her class academically? And how do you define the top? Sidwell doesn’t rank, nor does it confer any academic honors. Further, there are some graduating classes where no students have a 4.0. I’m not saying your daughter isn’t at the top of her class. I’m asking how do you know that’s true?

I know because if you have friends in prior graduating classes you know what the top GPAs look like. It doesn’t change much from year to year. I wasn’t saying she’ll be valedictorian if that’s what you mean but she will likely be in the top 10.

You’re also making unfounded assumptions about fit. DD would say she’s happy and has lots of friends. Being a teen she shrugs off the relational aggression as people being anxious or stressed. That may be so but from an adult perspective it still makes for an unhealthy environment.

So from your perspective if someone points out the toxic unhealthy aspects of an institution it means they’re just not a good fit? By that token many Americans are a bad fit for US citizenship.

If your daughter is thriving academically and she would say “she’s happy and has lots of friends” at Sidwell, then it seems that Sidwell is only a bad fit for you. Your definition of a toxic and stressful environment isn’t universal, but you don’t seem to grasp that fact. Based on what you have said, I do believe that Sidwell is a toxic environment for you. Your daughter is happy at Sidwell and that is what matters most.

You still didn’t answer my question about how you define being “at the top” of Sidwell’s class. What does that cumulative GPA look like to you? Btw, I’m beginning to doubt that you’re a Sidwell parent because Sidwell hasn’t had a valedictorian for well over 30 years. Why would you even include that statement?

If you were a Sidwell parent, you’d already know.

I am a Sidwell parent, and I don’t know. You’re NOT a Sidwell parent, but you’re pretending to know. A real Sidwell parent knows better.

DP. Given your snarky tone, why would anyone feel obligated to help you?

I can guess how PP knows the range but am not inclined to share either.