Happiness at Sidwell...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

This sound more like our experience there than other PPs

I’ll also say that as a parent of a current student who was attending admissions sessions for my younger child - I was shocked at the difference between (a) what they were presenting and the kids/teachers they allow applicants and new admits to ‘meet’ and ‘hear from’ and (b) our years of experience there as parents of a high school student.

They are very carefully selecting who will fit the reality they wish to project.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

This sound more like our experience there than other PPs

I’ll also say that as a parent of a current student who was attending admissions sessions for my younger child - I was shocked at the difference between (a) what they were presenting and the kids/teachers they allow applicants and new admits to ‘meet’ and ‘hear from’ and (b) our years of experience there as parents of a high school student.

They are very carefully selecting who will fit the reality they wish to project.

That’s anywhere though right? You put out what you want to attract.

But I agree it’s still alarming that what they’re saying doesn’t match your real-life experience with the school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

This sound more like our experience there than other PPs

I’ll also say that as a parent of a current student who was attending admissions sessions for my younger child - I was shocked at the difference between (a) what they were presenting and the kids/teachers they allow applicants and new admits to ‘meet’ and ‘hear from’ and (b) our years of experience there as parents of a high school student.

They are very carefully selecting who will fit the reality they wish to project.

That’s anywhere though right? You put out what you want to attract.

But I agree it’s still alarming that what they’re saying doesn’t match your real-life experience with the school

There’s a difference between putting your best foot forward and creating a complete false reality. And in this point - my other children have attended different schools and the reality matches what was sold at admissions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

What do you mean, “draconian”? Would love some specific examples as we evaluate the school and our choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

Please stop. Not helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

This sound more like our experience there than other PPs

I’ll also say that as a parent of a current student who was attending admissions sessions for my younger child - I was shocked at the difference between (a) what they were presenting and the kids/teachers they allow applicants and new admits to ‘meet’ and ‘hear from’ and (b) our years of experience there as parents of a high school student.

They are very carefully selecting who will fit the reality they wish to project.

That’s just common sense. Do you expect them to select people who have an ax to grind? What school does that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

This sound more like our experience there than other PPs

I’ll also say that as a parent of a current student who was attending admissions sessions for my younger child - I was shocked at the difference between (a) what they were presenting and the kids/teachers they allow applicants and new admits to ‘meet’ and ‘hear from’ and (b) our years of experience there as parents of a high school student.

They are very carefully selecting who will fit the reality they wish to project.

That’s anywhere though right? You put out what you want to attract.

But I agree it’s still alarming that what they’re saying doesn’t match your real-life experience with the school

There’s a difference between putting your best foot forward and creating a complete false reality. And in this point - my other children have attended different schools and the reality matches what was sold at admissions

It sounds as if my Sidwell US students (who entered in 9th) attend a different school than what you’re describing. In our case, the marketing matches the reality pretty closely. However, I will say that Sidwell is more structured/rule-bound than I originally thought (especially regarding tardiness and vacation absence).

[Anonymous]

I think it is a very happy place, specially after the 5 million dollars they got during Covid. At the time the board said that grabbing the government money allocated for small businesses was consistent with their Quaker values.

[Anonymous]

OP, as a longtime Sidwell parent, here's how I would look at it.

The Sidwell admissions team is very good at what they do. They know what they are looking for and what kind of students will succeed.

Ninth grade admissions had about a 10% acceptance rate, or maybe less, this year. They had the pick of the crop and they chose your child. That is saying something.

With the means and the opportunity to send your DC to Sidwell, I would not turn it down. If it's so terrible after a year or even two, you can always leave. But you won't get this chance again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

This sound more like our experience there than other PPs

I’ll also say that as a parent of a current student who was attending admissions sessions for my younger child - I was shocked at the difference between (a) what they were presenting and the kids/teachers they allow applicants and new admits to ‘meet’ and ‘hear from’ and (b) our years of experience there as parents of a high school student.

They are very carefully selecting who will fit the reality they wish to project.

That’s just common sense. Do you expect them to select people who have an ax to grind? What school does that?

No I expect them to select a typical student - they did not - AT ALL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.

Yes there are unhooked kids who attend ivy league- none of those families or their kids were singing praises of how lovely a place Sidwell was

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a longtime Sidwell parent, here's how I would look at it.

The Sidwell admissions team is very good at what they do. They know what they are looking for and what kind of students will succeed.

Ninth grade admissions had about a 10% acceptance rate, or maybe less, this year. They had the pick of the crop and they chose your child. That is saying something.

With the means and the opportunity to send your DC to Sidwell, I would not turn it down. If it's so terrible after a year or even two, you can always leave. But you won't get this chance again.

Nobody is leaving after a year or two- they just learn to keep eye on the finish line and grind it out. Especially kids with good grades in high classes (which don’t equate to happiness at a school)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.

They did do great - that doesn’t mean the school is a happy place or is successful at promoting happiness. Which is what the OP is asking. Getting a great education doesn’t have to be so severe. For those of you in 9th/10th you’ll see this ramp up in 11th/12th.