Happiness at Sidwell...

[Anonymous]

Ps - I hope the new US principal will make changes - he’s great and I hope he gets a leash to make a meaningful impact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

This sound more like our experience there than other PPs

I’ll also say that as a parent of a current student who was attending admissions sessions for my younger child - I was shocked at the difference between (a) what they were presenting and the kids/teachers they allow applicants and new admits to ‘meet’ and ‘hear from’ and (b) our years of experience there as parents of a high school student.

They are very carefully selecting who will fit the reality they wish to project.

That’s just common sense. Do you expect them to select people who have an ax to grind? What school does that?

No I expect them to select a typical student - they did not - AT ALL

What is your definition of a typical Sidwell student? Who did the school select to speak with prospective families, instead? I’m genuinely confused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.

Yes there are unhooked kids who attend ivy league- none of those families or their kids were singing praises of how lovely a place Sidwell was

You’ve spoken to all of these students, over the past few years? Mmmkay.

[Anonymous]

Isn’t this just like any high school ever? Some kids will be happy, some less so. The same kids might be happier or sadder at various times. Some kids will find the work load too much, some will find it fine. There are 500 kids there, how could you everyone have the same experience?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.

They did do great - that doesn’t mean the school is a happy place or is successful at promoting happiness. Which is what the OP is asking. Getting a great education doesn’t have to be so severe. For those of you in 9th/10th you’ll see this ramp up in 11th/12th.

My oldest daughter actually refers to Sidwell as her “happy place.” That’s because the school is a great fit for her. Sidwell isn’t a great fit for many students who are pushed to attend by their parents. That seems to be the case for your children. You heard all the rumors about Sidwell before you signed the contract, but you still enrolled your child(ren). Why?

You really should stop projecting. Every student isn’t have a miserable experience at Sidwell.

[Anonymous]

Folks, I’m a current HS parent who joined in 9th. Our child was fortunate to have a few options, and I’ve lived in DC long enough to know some/many of the arguments against SFS (“Sadwell,” anyone?). So, we didn’t take the decision lightly. The cost is material to us, an important consideration. After shadow days and multiple events in 8th, our child decided, and was able to articulate, why they wanted to go to SFS. They love it, as do we now. We don’t regret the decision.

No high school experience is easy and neverending fun. They’re not part of the “in” crowd, or a great athlete etc. They’re enjoying their time there, have nice friends and particularly like some of their teachers. There are lots of great options out there, but SFS has been good for them. We’re pleased at how much they’re learning and their growing ability to express themselves and be independent.

Part of the decision is expectations: we don’t expect SFS, or any school, to be a golden ticket to any particular college or path in life. Nor are we an “Ivy League/T20 or Bust” family. We believe they’re being developed to do well wherever they end up next. As expected, junior year is a tough one, and the college expectations and stresses grow substantially. But having friends at lots of the other schools in the area, that’s not at all unique to SFS; it’s a D.C. thing.

This is not to dismiss others’ experiences or pit one school against another; it’s simply to share our very positive experience at Sidwell. I hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t this just like any high school ever? Some kids will be happy, some less so. The same kids might be happier or sadder at various times. Some kids will find the work load too much, some will find it fine. There are 500 kids there, how could you everyone have the same experience?

Exactly. There are posters on this thread who are committed to trying to make you believe that no students are enjoying their experience at Sidwell. That’s simply untrue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.

Yes there are unhooked kids who attend ivy league- none of those families or their kids were singing praises of how lovely a place Sidwell was

You’ve spoken to all of these students, over the past few years? Mmmkay.

I’m specifically talking about the meeting for worship at the end of senior year - and yes - since I was there and know who stood up and who didn’t - the kids and parents that chose to stand up share how amazing and warm the school was were not unhooked kids who went to ivies. And there were many of us after that meeting who spoke and were like ‘wtf? did their kids go to the same school as ours?’ it was crazy how differently the uber connected families described their experiences compared to others. But then - their kids (mostly but not all) took much different classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t this just like any high school ever? Some kids will be happy, some less so. The same kids might be happier or sadder at various times. Some kids will find the work load too much, some will find it fine. There are 500 kids there, how could you everyone have the same experience?

Well - in our cohort - we knew no new to US in 9th who were unconnected that left Sidwell in 12th thrilled with the experience their child had. Even connected families in terms of Ivy legacy (but not uber wealth) questioned the model that lacked much in happiness. Education great - experience much less so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here. All of my US kids are lifers, so maybe that's why I come from a different place. Daily life at US is, despite the advertised virtues, short on the Quaker values implied to be at the core of the school's identity. The virtue signaling is over the top.

It's all relative to what other schools may be like. I don't know any other school so cannot speak to that. But my view is that the school's policies around academics (teacher's interactions with students) are draconian. Definitely not warm.

Also, the school's recent turn of focus to sports has undermined the atmosphere of academic excellence. That, again, just in my opinion, has suffered.

Socially, based on what I have heard from my kids over the years and what some acquaintances have shared, there's as much of a mean-kid culture at Sidwell as at any other school. There are the popular kids, the ahtletes, the mean girls, the 'try hards', and the senior whose mom is on the Board and by all accounts should have been kicked out right now for a few nefarious acts, not to mention running the (against the school policy) poker enterprise in the senior center. And sure, the basketball playoffs are good-spirited. They're the playoffs and attendance at any sporting events at Sidwell do not draw the kids who are not part of the 'in' crowd, or even the generally happy kids.

Have my kids come out with a good education? They graduated (as recently as last year) seem to have. But do I think it is any different than elsewhere, no.

TL; DR - my kids can’t actually hack it and it’s good I paid the money to get them in early when it’s easier.

I’m the op who said this op was more accurate. Our dc entered in 9th was highly successful - they could 100% cut it. The place is not warm at all. Very draconian - Senior year the families that gushed at the senior year meeting for worship event were the uber wealthy long timers that Bryan courted - those people all had kids who got into Ivy League on their family connections while taking easiest classes possible. It was gross. They have no clue what the school is really like because they don’t face the same wall (or hand in the face) others do and (except a few) their kids aren’t taking the hardest classes with the teachers who compete with each other to get the label of hardest class in the school.

Again - my dc did great - so no sour grapes. Education is high level but it is not a good ‘school’ - teens need and deserve more out of school thanks grinding out work.

Your entire post reads like sour grapes. There are unhooked Sidwell students admitted to Ivy+ colleges every year who did not taken the hardest classes in every subject, every year. Sorry things didn’t work out that way for your kid. Btw, I don’t think your child did “great” by your standards. If they did, you would not have written this bitter post.

They did do great - that doesn’t mean the school is a happy place or is successful at promoting happiness. Which is what the OP is asking. Getting a great education doesn’t have to be so severe. For those of you in 9th/10th you’ll see this ramp up in 11th/12th.

My oldest daughter actually refers to Sidwell as her “happy place.” That’s because the school is a great fit for her. Sidwell isn’t a great fit for many students who are pushed to attend by their parents. That seems to be the case for your children. You heard all the rumors about Sidwell before you signed the contract, but you still enrolled your child(ren). Why?

You really should stop projecting. Every student isn’t have a miserable experience at Sidwell.

My child chose it - I would have chosen elsewhere. They would chose it again given the same options. But definitely not because it was warm or happy .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t this just like any high school ever? Some kids will be happy, some less so. The same kids might be happier or sadder at various times. Some kids will find the work load too much, some will find it fine. There are 500 kids there, how could you everyone have the same experience?

Exactly. There are posters on this thread who are committed to trying to make you believe that no students are enjoying their experience at Sidwell. That’s simply untrue.

Sure there are but there are also many that are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Folks, I’m a current HS parent who joined in 9th. Our child was fortunate to have a few options, and I’ve lived in DC long enough to know some/many of the arguments against SFS (“Sadwell,” anyone?). So, we didn’t take the decision lightly. The cost is material to us, an important consideration. After shadow days and multiple events in 8th, our child decided, and was able to articulate, why they wanted to go to SFS. They love it, as do we now. We don’t regret the decision.

No high school experience is easy and neverending fun. They’re not part of the “in” crowd, or a great athlete etc. They’re enjoying their time there, have nice friends and particularly like some of their teachers. There are lots of great options out there, but SFS has been good for them. We’re pleased at how much they’re learning and their growing ability to express themselves and be independent.

Part of the decision is expectations: we don’t expect SFS, or any school, to be a golden ticket to any particular college or path in life. Nor are we an “Ivy League/T20 or Bust” family. We believe they’re being developed to do well wherever they end up next. As expected, junior year is a tough one, and the college expectations and stresses grow substantially. But having friends at lots of the other schools in the area, that’s not at all unique to SFS; it’s a D.C. thing.

This is not to dismiss others’ experiences or pit one school against another; it’s simply to share our very positive experience at Sidwell. I hope this helps.

We’ve had children at multiple Big 3. Sidwell is the lesser by far in happiness factor. Does it mean no one is unhappy at other schools - no. Unhappiness can occur anywhere and it’s always hard to be in many hard classes. Does it mean everyone is unhappy at Sidwell no. But on average - kids at my other kids schools have a much happier journey through HS and are equally prepared for college and get into the same schools (and the unconnected kids face the same hurdles in college admissions) . It’s really noticeably different in cultures. And less happiness at Sidwell is a large factor in that difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Folks, I’m a current HS parent who joined in 9th. Our child was fortunate to have a few options, and I’ve lived in DC long enough to know some/many of the arguments against SFS (“Sadwell,” anyone?). So, we didn’t take the decision lightly. The cost is material to us, an important consideration. After shadow days and multiple events in 8th, our child decided, and was able to articulate, why they wanted to go to SFS. They love it, as do we now. We don’t regret the decision.

No high school experience is easy and neverending fun. They’re not part of the “in” crowd, or a great athlete etc. They’re enjoying their time there, have nice friends and particularly like some of their teachers. There are lots of great options out there, but SFS has been good for them. We’re pleased at how much they’re learning and their growing ability to express themselves and be independent.

Part of the decision is expectations: we don’t expect SFS, or any school, to be a golden ticket to any particular college or path in life. Nor are we an “Ivy League/T20 or Bust” family. We believe they’re being developed to do well wherever they end up next. As expected, junior year is a tough one, and the college expectations and stresses grow substantially. But having friends at lots of the other schools in the area, that’s not at all unique to SFS; it’s a D.C. thing.

This is not to dismiss others’ experiences or pit one school against another; it’s simply to share our very positive experience at Sidwell. I hope this helps.

We’ve had children at multiple Big 3. Sidwell is the lesser by far in happiness factor. Does it mean no one is unhappy at other schools - no. Unhappiness can occur anywhere and it’s always hard to be in many hard classes. Does it mean everyone is unhappy at Sidwell no. But on average - kids at my other kids schools have a much happier journey through HS and are equally prepared for college and get into the same schools (and the unconnected kids face the same hurdles in college admissions) . It’s really noticeably different in cultures. And less happiness at Sidwell is a large factor in that difference.

To clarify, do you have a child at Sidwell? From your note, it's a little unclear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems there is a sentiment that Sidwell isn't as joyful as some rival independent schools... at least on this forum. There's this notion that it's a pressure cooker, kids are super competitive and it's not a particularly warm setting.

But, the students we've met during on campus events for prospective and admitted students (which might be a biased sample), seem to love it and praise the environment/culture. They say it's quite collaborative and there's a lot of spirit. The teachers and administrators seem warm and friendly. Also, families we've spoken to seem really happy. And Sidwell alumni we've met are very positive about their experience.

So the question is -- what's the truth? Is it, on balance, a happy place?

Welcome perspectives from Sidwell families, particularly those in the Upper School. Would rather folks who don't have direct ties to the school not chime in with what "they've heard."

Thank you.

Op - if you have a real choice between Sidwell and elsewhere (like a big 5) - let your kid choose wherever they want. That’s what matters. If it ends up being unhappy - it was their choice and they will forge a path. Don’t make the choice for them.

This is coming from one of the PPs above saying that ‘Sidwell has earned its unhappy reputation’

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Folks, I’m a current HS parent who joined in 9th. Our child was fortunate to have a few options, and I’ve lived in DC long enough to know some/many of the arguments against SFS (“Sadwell,” anyone?). So, we didn’t take the decision lightly. The cost is material to us, an important consideration. After shadow days and multiple events in 8th, our child decided, and was able to articulate, why they wanted to go to SFS. They love it, as do we now. We don’t regret the decision.

No high school experience is easy and neverending fun. They’re not part of the “in” crowd, or a great athlete etc. They’re enjoying their time there, have nice friends and particularly like some of their teachers. There are lots of great options out there, but SFS has been good for them. We’re pleased at how much they’re learning and their growing ability to express themselves and be independent.

Part of the decision is expectations: we don’t expect SFS, or any school, to be a golden ticket to any particular college or path in life. Nor are we an “Ivy League/T20 or Bust” family. We believe they’re being developed to do well wherever they end up next. As expected, junior year is a tough one, and the college expectations and stresses grow substantially. But having friends at lots of the other schools in the area, that’s not at all unique to SFS; it’s a D.C. thing.

This is not to dismiss others’ experiences or pit one school against another; it’s simply to share our very positive experience at Sidwell. I hope this helps.

We’ve had children at multiple Big 3. Sidwell is the lesser by far in happiness factor. Does it mean no one is unhappy at other schools - no. Unhappiness can occur anywhere and it’s always hard to be in many hard classes. Does it mean everyone is unhappy at Sidwell no. But on average - kids at my other kids schools have a much happier journey through HS and are equally prepared for college and get into the same schools (and the unconnected kids face the same hurdles in college admissions) . It’s really noticeably different in cultures. And less happiness at Sidwell is a large factor in that difference.

To clarify, do you have a child at Sidwell? From your note, it's a little unclear.

I have multiple children - one attended Sidwell - others have attended other Big 3 schools .