Happiness at Sidwell...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a recent grad of Sidwell, I'm hoping that I can offer a different perspective than some of the parents on this thread. Sidwell has a reputation of being a "pressure cooker" for a reason, and because of that, it was by no means a pleasant experience for me. Even as someone who came out "successful" (got in unhooked at a top tier Ivy), I was not happy at Sidwell.

However, this unhappiness did not stem from the administration so much as the competitive and toxic environment fostered by the parents and students. The school work was tough, especially if you took the most rigorous courses offered, but it was by no means unmanageable. Rather, it was the incessant talk of college applications that fostered an unwelcoming and excessively stressful environment. Even kids whose parents did not pressure them into attending top schools ended up extremely stressed out, simply because their fellow peers placed such an emphasis on that fact.

If you want your child to come out with a great education, send them to Sidwell. Otherwise, I would recommend sending them to another Big 3.

Thank you. I’m a PP parent from above getting pushback for saying a kid can have a successful academic career at Sidwell (and even say they’d choose it again) but the kid would never describe it as a happy place. (They wouldn’t say it’s intolerable or devoid of any good either)

I think some PPs were pushing back because you fail to acknowledge that there are students at Sidwell who excel academically AND are also happy there. Just because your child wouldn’t describe Sidwell as a happy place doesn’t mean other students feel the same way.

Anecdotally, the students I happen to know who are happiest at Sidwell joined in 9th grade. I think when you start in 9th grade, both the school and the student are able to make a better (best fit) match. It’s hard to know who you’ll end up being in high school when you join any school in PK or K. Especially if that school is academically rigorous.

And the ones we know do not fit that category - but both can be true.

[Anonymous]

I think the consensus is that there are certainly students that are happy at Sidwell and while I don't know that there is a certain "type," they would probably all be very academically driven on their own/without their parents pushing them.

It's obviously very possible to be happy at Sidwell while also earning top marks in the classroom, but without a certain level of talent/time management/determination it seems like that pool is pretty small. If you are on the fence about your student's fit at Sidwell, and you feel like they might be getting thrown into the deep end academically (beyond normal parental worries/anxieties), then it might not be a good move.

Also, I wouldn't read too much into the college admissions culture, the same is absolutely true (re: classmates constantly talking about where they did/did not get in and letting it affect friendships) at Sidwell's peer schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a recent grad of Sidwell, I'm hoping that I can offer a different perspective than some of the parents on this thread. Sidwell has a reputation of being a "pressure cooker" for a reason, and because of that, it was by no means a pleasant experience for me. Even as someone who came out "successful" (got in unhooked at a top tier Ivy), I was not happy at Sidwell.

However, this unhappiness did not stem from the administration so much as the competitive and toxic environment fostered by the parents and students. The school work was tough, especially if you took the most rigorous courses offered, but it was by no means unmanageable. Rather, it was the incessant talk of college applications that fostered an unwelcoming and excessively stressful environment. Even kids whose parents did not pressure them into attending top schools ended up extremely stressed out, simply because their fellow peers placed such an emphasis on that fact.

If you want your child to come out with a great education, send them to Sidwell. Otherwise, I would recommend sending them to another Big 3.

Thank you. I’m a PP parent from above getting pushback for saying a kid can have a successful academic career at Sidwell (and even say they’d choose it again) but the kid would never describe it as a happy place. (They wouldn’t say it’s intolerable or devoid of any good either)

I think some PPs were pushing back because you fail to acknowledge that there are students at Sidwell who excel academically AND are also happy there. Just because your child wouldn’t describe Sidwell as a happy place doesn’t mean other students feel the same way.

Anecdotally, the students I happen to know who are happiest at Sidwell joined in 9th grade. I think when you start in 9th grade, both the school and the student are able to make a better (best fit) match. It’s hard to know who you’ll end up being in high school when you join any school in PK or K. Especially if that school is academically rigorous.

Or do you push back because you only read what you want to hear and don't see qualifers such as "They wouldn’t say it’s intolerable or devoid of any good either"

Do you not understand the difference between a student who says he’s happy at Sidwell and one who says “it’s not intolerable”? That is a distinction with a very real difference. If you can’t see that, then I can’t help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a recent grad of Sidwell, I'm hoping that I can offer a different perspective than some of the parents on this thread. Sidwell has a reputation of being a "pressure cooker" for a reason, and because of that, it was by no means a pleasant experience for me. Even as someone who came out "successful" (got in unhooked at a top tier Ivy), I was not happy at Sidwell.

However, this unhappiness did not stem from the administration so much as the competitive and toxic environment fostered by the parents and students. The school work was tough, especially if you took the most rigorous courses offered, but it was by no means unmanageable. Rather, it was the incessant talk of college applications that fostered an unwelcoming and excessively stressful environment. Even kids whose parents did not pressure them into attending top schools ended up extremely stressed out, simply because their fellow peers placed such an emphasis on that fact.

If you want your child to come out with a great education, send them to Sidwell. Otherwise, I would recommend sending them to another Big 3.

Thank you. I’m a PP parent from above getting pushback for saying a kid can have a successful academic career at Sidwell (and even say they’d choose it again) but the kid would never describe it as a happy place. (They wouldn’t say it’s intolerable or devoid of any good either)

I think some PPs were pushing back because you fail to acknowledge that there are students at Sidwell who excel academically AND are also happy there. Just because your child wouldn’t describe Sidwell as a happy place doesn’t mean other students feel the same way.

Anecdotally, the students I happen to know who are happiest at Sidwell joined in 9th grade. I think when you start in 9th grade, both the school and the student are able to make a better (best fit) match. It’s hard to know who you’ll end up being in high school when you join any school in PK or K. Especially if that school is academically rigorous.

And the ones we know do not fit that category - but both can be true.

I have two US students at Sidwell and the happiest Sidwell students I know started in 9th grade. I guess you’re not a Sidwell parent or we run in very different circles—your circle being far less happy with their school choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the consensus is that there are certainly students that are happy at Sidwell and while I don't know that there is a certain "type," they would probably all be very academically driven on their own/without their parents pushing them.

It's obviously very possible to be happy at Sidwell while also earning top marks in the classroom, but without a certain level of talent/time management/determination it seems like that pool is pretty small. If you are on the fence about your student's fit at Sidwell, and you feel like they might be getting thrown into the deep end academically (beyond normal parental worries/anxieties), then it might not be a good move.

Also, I wouldn't read too much into the college admissions culture, the same is absolutely true (re: classmates constantly talking about where they did/did not get in and letting it affect friendships) at Sidwell's peer schools.

Except it’s not the same at every school. This is why those of us who have kids at multiple schools (including Sidwell) are speaking up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a recent grad of Sidwell, I'm hoping that I can offer a different perspective than some of the parents on this thread. Sidwell has a reputation of being a "pressure cooker" for a reason, and because of that, it was by no means a pleasant experience for me. Even as someone who came out "successful" (got in unhooked at a top tier Ivy), I was not happy at Sidwell.

However, this unhappiness did not stem from the administration so much as the competitive and toxic environment fostered by the parents and students. The school work was tough, especially if you took the most rigorous courses offered, but it was by no means unmanageable. Rather, it was the incessant talk of college applications that fostered an unwelcoming and excessively stressful environment. Even kids whose parents did not pressure them into attending top schools ended up extremely stressed out, simply because their fellow peers placed such an emphasis on that fact.

If you want your child to come out with a great education, send them to Sidwell. Otherwise, I would recommend sending them to another Big 3.

Thank you. I’m a PP parent from above getting pushback for saying a kid can have a successful academic career at Sidwell (and even say they’d choose it again) but the kid would never describe it as a happy place. (They wouldn’t say it’s intolerable or devoid of any good either)

I think some PPs were pushing back because you fail to acknowledge that there are students at Sidwell who excel academically AND are also happy there. Just because your child wouldn’t describe Sidwell as a happy place doesn’t mean other students feel the same way.

Anecdotally, the students I happen to know who are happiest at Sidwell joined in 9th grade. I think when you start in 9th grade, both the school and the student are able to make a better (best fit) match. It’s hard to know who you’ll end up being in high school when you join any school in PK or K. Especially if that school is academically rigorous.

And the ones we know do not fit that category - but both can be true.

I have two US students at Sidwell and the happiest Sidwell students I know started in 9th grade. I guess you’re not a Sidwell parent or we run in very different circles—your circle being far less happy with their school choice.

Or that maybe your cohorts are different than mine. I am a Sidwell parent. I am not denying your anecdotal stories but you seem quite intent on denying others’ that don’t match yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a recent grad of Sidwell, I'm hoping that I can offer a different perspective than some of the parents on this thread. Sidwell has a reputation of being a "pressure cooker" for a reason, and because of that, it was by no means a pleasant experience for me. Even as someone who came out "successful" (got in unhooked at a top tier Ivy), I was not happy at Sidwell.

However, this unhappiness did not stem from the administration so much as the competitive and toxic environment fostered by the parents and students. The school work was tough, especially if you took the most rigorous courses offered, but it was by no means unmanageable. Rather, it was the incessant talk of college applications that fostered an unwelcoming and excessively stressful environment. Even kids whose parents did not pressure them into attending top schools ended up extremely stressed out, simply because their fellow peers placed such an emphasis on that fact.

If you want your child to come out with a great education, send them to Sidwell. Otherwise, I would recommend sending them to another Big 3.

Thank you. I’m a PP parent from above getting pushback for saying a kid can have a successful academic career at Sidwell (and even say they’d choose it again) but the kid would never describe it as a happy place. (They wouldn’t say it’s intolerable or devoid of any good either)

I think some PPs were pushing back because you fail to acknowledge that there are students at Sidwell who excel academically AND are also happy there. Just because your child wouldn’t describe Sidwell as a happy place doesn’t mean other students feel the same way.

Anecdotally, the students I happen to know who are happiest at Sidwell joined in 9th grade. I think when you start in 9th grade, both the school and the student are able to make a better (best fit) match. It’s hard to know who you’ll end up being in high school when you join any school in PK or K. Especially if that school is academically rigorous.

And the ones we know do not fit that category - but both can be true.

I have two US students at Sidwell and the happiest Sidwell students I know started in 9th grade. I guess you’re not a Sidwell parent or we run in very different circles—your circle being far less happy with their school choice.

Or that maybe your cohorts are different than mine. I am a Sidwell parent. I am not denying your anecdotal stories but you seem quite intent on denying others’ that don’t match yours.

No, I believe that your child doesn’t think Sidwell’s “a happy place.” I also know there are other US students who share that sentiment—some students actively dislike the place.

My posts simply point out that my children, and many of their friends, love Sidwell and are happy there. I also pointed out that the happiest Sidwell students I know started in 9th grade. You are the one who seems intent on denying the fact that there are many happy US students at Sidwell. You just don’t seem to know any.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a recent grad of Sidwell, I'm hoping that I can offer a different perspective than some of the parents on this thread. Sidwell has a reputation of being a "pressure cooker" for a reason, and because of that, it was by no means a pleasant experience for me. Even as someone who came out "successful" (got in unhooked at a top tier Ivy), I was not happy at Sidwell.

However, this unhappiness did not stem from the administration so much as the competitive and toxic environment fostered by the parents and students. The school work was tough, especially if you took the most rigorous courses offered, but it was by no means unmanageable. Rather, it was the incessant talk of college applications that fostered an unwelcoming and excessively stressful environment. Even kids whose parents did not pressure them into attending top schools ended up extremely stressed out, simply because their fellow peers placed such an emphasis on that fact.

If you want your child to come out with a great education, send them to Sidwell. Otherwise, I would recommend sending them to another Big 3.

Thank you. I’m a PP parent from above getting pushback for saying a kid can have a successful academic career at Sidwell (and even say they’d choose it again) but the kid would never describe it as a happy place. (They wouldn’t say it’s intolerable or devoid of any good either)

Another PP with a child at Sidwell who got tired of the snarks. Thank you for summarizing it from a student’s perspective.

I have a child at Sidwell and another at STA. The academic challenge is significant at both schools but the cultures are quite different. The STA boys support one another and help each other out. Sidwell kids are more ruthless. They work solo and don’t share resources the same way.

The supportiveness makes all the difference in the degree of stress felt.

[Anonymous]

My daughter loves Sidwell and is happy there. She has friends and acquaintances who have been willing to share resources and offer help in all of her classes. I wonder if the support she has found stems from her willingness to help others. Students who find Sidwell’s culture to be ruthless may be giving the same energy.

I’m not saying Sidwell isn’t a competitive environment—it is. There’s no academically rigorous environment, with a large number of high achievers, where you won’t find a higher than average level of competitiveness. I’m saying that ruthless and cutthroat have not been my daughter’s experience at Sidwell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a recent grad of Sidwell, I'm hoping that I can offer a different perspective than some of the parents on this thread. Sidwell has a reputation of being a "pressure cooker" for a reason, and because of that, it was by no means a pleasant experience for me. Even as someone who came out "successful" (got in unhooked at a top tier Ivy), I was not happy at Sidwell.

However, this unhappiness did not stem from the administration so much as the competitive and toxic environment fostered by the parents and students. The school work was tough, especially if you took the most rigorous courses offered, but it was by no means unmanageable. Rather, it was the incessant talk of college applications that fostered an unwelcoming and excessively stressful environment. Even kids whose parents did not pressure them into attending top schools ended up extremely stressed out, simply because their fellow peers placed such an emphasis on that fact.

If you want your child to come out with a great education, send them to Sidwell. Otherwise, I would recommend sending them to another Big 3.

Thank you. I’m a PP parent from above getting pushback for saying a kid can have a successful academic career at Sidwell (and even say they’d choose it again) but the kid would never describe it as a happy place. (They wouldn’t say it’s intolerable or devoid of any good either)

Another PP with a child at Sidwell who got tired of the snarks. Thank you for summarizing it from a student’s perspective.

I have a child at Sidwell and another at STA. The academic challenge is significant at both schools but the cultures are quite different. The STA boys support one another and help each other out. Sidwell kids are more ruthless. They work solo and don’t share resources the same way.

The supportiveness makes all the difference in the degree of stress felt.

Not my kids experience at all.

[Anonymous]

Funny, I spoke with a recent Sidwell grad and she said that HS was better than she gave it credit for. It wasn't as bad as she thought now that she's in college. Now she complains about college (an Ivy).

It's hard to be a teenager anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny, I spoke with a recent Sidwell grad and she said that HS was better than she gave it credit for. It wasn't as bad as she thought now that she's in college. Now she complains about college (an Ivy).

It's hard to be a teenager anywhere.

True - but my student found college easier than Sidwell - as did most of their friends at T25 schools. (I'd say "all" except I can't claim to know how every student has done)

My student was surprised how much different the college teachers were, and how different the messaging from college admin was too. They feel it is more caring and supportive and focused on the love of learning (this was not a SLAC). The college teachers were tested material for deep understanding and were genuinely excited for students to dive into their subjects and be excited about the subject...where many of the high school teachers were great in the classroom but had more of a stance to lay down the gauntlet in assessment (trying to make the test as hard as possible) and often valued having a label of "the hardest teacher" (some bragged about it). I highly doubt that every teacher was like this at Sidwell, but by senior year, for kids in top classes - it is true that teachers are taking pride in wanting that label of hardest class in the school. I did hear one speak of this publicly to parents. For this high achiever group - that's a memory some leave with. And as a student - both types of approaches can be respected for being rigorous - but the journeys certainly feel different. It's honestly hard to know how pervasive this is as a parent since the school limits interaction between parents/teachers (not even teacher conferences after 9th). Sadly, this is likely due to prior misbehavior from some parents that is now assumed and projected onto all parents. And for families where the student is a high achiever, there is really no need to ever reach out to a teacher. We do know that our children at a different rigorous HS have teachers that more align with what my Sidwell grad experiences in college. The kids seem happier there and still work their butts off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny, I spoke with a recent Sidwell grad and she said that HS was better than she gave it credit for. It wasn't as bad as she thought now that she's in college. Now she complains about college (an Ivy).

It's hard to be a teenager anywhere.

True - but my student found college easier than Sidwell - as did most of their friends at T25 schools. (I'd say "all" except I can't claim to know how every student has done)

My student was surprised how much different the college teachers were, and how different the messaging from college admin was too. They feel it is more caring and supportive and focused on the love of learning (this was not a SLAC). The college teachers were tested material for deep understanding and were genuinely excited for students to dive into their subjects and be excited about the subject...where many of the high school teachers were great in the classroom but had more of a stance to lay down the gauntlet in assessment (trying to make the test as hard as possible) and often valued having a label of "the hardest teacher" (some bragged about it). I highly doubt that every teacher was like this at Sidwell, but by senior year, for kids in top classes - it is true that teachers are taking pride in wanting that label of hardest class in the school. I did hear one speak of this publicly to parents. For this high achiever group - that's a memory some leave with. And as a student - both types of approaches can be respected for being rigorous - but the journeys certainly feel different. It's honestly hard to know how pervasive this is as a parent since the school limits interaction between parents/teachers (not even teacher conferences after 9th). Sadly, this is likely due to prior misbehavior from some parents that is now assumed and projected onto all parents. And for families where the student is a high achiever, there is really no need to ever reach out to a teacher. We do know that our children at a different rigorous HS have teachers that more align with what my Sidwell grad experiences in college. The kids seem happier there and still work their butts off.

This has not been my child’s experience. The US teachers are, for the most part, accessible. I’ve reached out to one or two teachers each year, and I’ve always received a prompt response—including scheduling a conference call or in-person meeting upon my request (at any grade).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny, I spoke with a recent Sidwell grad and she said that HS was better than she gave it credit for. It wasn't as bad as she thought now that she's in college. Now she complains about college (an Ivy).

It's hard to be a teenager anywhere.

True - but my student found college easier than Sidwell - as did most of their friends at T25 schools. (I'd say "all" except I can't claim to know how every student has done)

My student was surprised how much different the college teachers were, and how different the messaging from college admin was too. They feel it is more caring and supportive and focused on the love of learning (this was not a SLAC). The college teachers were tested material for deep understanding and were genuinely excited for students to dive into their subjects and be excited about the subject...where many of the high school teachers were great in the classroom but had more of a stance to lay down the gauntlet in assessment (trying to make the test as hard as possible) and often valued having a label of "the hardest teacher" (some bragged about it). I highly doubt that every teacher was like this at Sidwell, but by senior year, for kids in top classes - it is true that teachers are taking pride in wanting that label of hardest class in the school. I did hear one speak of this publicly to parents. For this high achiever group - that's a memory some leave with. And as a student - both types of approaches can be respected for being rigorous - but the journeys certainly feel different. It's honestly hard to know how pervasive this is as a parent since the school limits interaction between parents/teachers (not even teacher conferences after 9th). Sadly, this is likely due to prior misbehavior from some parents that is now assumed and projected onto all parents. And for families where the student is a high achiever, there is really no need to ever reach out to a teacher. We do know that our children at a different rigorous HS have teachers that more align with what my Sidwell grad experiences in college. The kids seem happier there and still work their butts off.

This has not been my child’s experience. The US teachers are, for the most part, accessible. I’ve reached out to one or two teachers each year, and I’ve always received a prompt response—including scheduling a conference call or in-person meeting upon my request (at any grade).

Don’t know if it’s the same poster who keeps saying “not my child’s experience” anytime a Sidwell parent critiques the school, but it sure is getting repetitive.

In the comment above they take one part of what the PP says and focuses on that. PP’s child’s experience echoes my student’s well. There are too many teachers at Sidwell who focus on their own egos and being the hardest teacher of the toughest class, rather than wanting their students to enjoy learning about the subject matter. Parents have complained to Sidwell admin about this for years. Nothing changes. Their attitude is if your child isn’t doing well, it’s because they’re just not smart enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny, I spoke with a recent Sidwell grad and she said that HS was better than she gave it credit for. It wasn't as bad as she thought now that she's in college. Now she complains about college (an Ivy).

It's hard to be a teenager anywhere.

True - but my student found college easier than Sidwell - as did most of their friends at T25 schools. (I'd say "all" except I can't claim to know how every student has done)

My student was surprised how much different the college teachers were, and how different the messaging from college admin was too. They feel it is more caring and supportive and focused on the love of learning (this was not a SLAC). The college teachers were tested material for deep understanding and were genuinely excited for students to dive into their subjects and be excited about the subject...where many of the high school teachers were great in the classroom but had more of a stance to lay down the gauntlet in assessment (trying to make the test as hard as possible) and often valued having a label of "the hardest teacher" (some bragged about it). I highly doubt that every teacher was like this at Sidwell, but by senior year, for kids in top classes - it is true that teachers are taking pride in wanting that label of hardest class in the school. I did hear one speak of this publicly to parents. For this high achiever group - that's a memory some leave with. And as a student - both types of approaches can be respected for being rigorous - but the journeys certainly feel different. It's honestly hard to know how pervasive this is as a parent since the school limits interaction between parents/teachers (not even teacher conferences after 9th). Sadly, this is likely due to prior misbehavior from some parents that is now assumed and projected onto all parents. And for families where the student is a high achiever, there is really no need to ever reach out to a teacher. We do know that our children at a different rigorous HS have teachers that more align with what my Sidwell grad experiences in college. The kids seem happier there and still work their butts off.

This has not been my child’s experience. The US teachers are, for the most part, accessible. I’ve reached out to one or two teachers each year, and I’ve always received a prompt response—including scheduling a conference call or in-person meeting upon my request (at any grade).

Don’t know if it’s the same poster who keeps saying “not my child’s experience” anytime a Sidwell parent critiques the school, but it sure is getting repetitive.

In the comment above they take one part of what the PP says and focuses on that. PP’s child’s experience echoes my student’s well. There are too many teachers at Sidwell who focus on their own egos and being the hardest teacher of the toughest class, rather than wanting their students to enjoy learning about the subject matter. Parents have complained to Sidwell admin about this for years. Nothing changes. Their attitude is if your child isn’t doing well, it’s because they’re just not smart enough.

That hasn’t been our experience at Sidwell. 😊