60% of girls say they want college, only 46% of boys

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So tired of boy mom threads blaming girls for everything.

+1 for thousands of years boys turned into men who ruled the world, and now that girls are able to go to college and get a good paying job, all of a sudden boys are falling behind? What is up with that? Boys are too weak? Boys are to delicate? I don't get it.

-mom of college boy and HS girl

I'm older, and grew up in a conservative culture where they did not encourage girls to go to college. I pushed myself and out-succeeded my brother, even as my parents put more energy on his college than mine. My mother would always say that my brother just didn't have the self motivation so he needed to be pushed more. My response to that was, "He's not dumb, and if he lacks any motivation, it's because you the parent had low expectations of him."

It's not the systems fault. It's the parenting.

+1 I also have a big and a girl who are doing equally well in school. I can’t tell you how times I’ve heard parents admit their incredibly low expectations of their boys, though. Particularly if they also have a girl. They really don’t their boys are capable of much and moms relish the chance to do everything for them.

I have noticed this big time. Boy moms do a lot of tasks for their sons, and overly worry and tend to them. Boys rely on their moms for help far more than girls do. There is a lack of skill building, a lack of resiliency. They know their moms are going to swoop in and help them. Girls have their sh*t together.

Stop with the fkggg generalizations. My sons have chores and have been independently handling their own school work/assignments since elementary school. They are active in community service and sports. Firstborn was accepted unhooked into multiple T10/20 schools and is top of his class in college. Younger son rising Senior in HS is the same.

In UMC-wealthy - they do not find these discrepancies between the sexes. The boys are thriving.

We have overlooked a big segment of lower SES males and public school constrainments/initiatives and community are the problem. Also- single parent/broken homes, lack of male role models in the low SES communities.

[Anonymous]

Have they done studies on the role of sports influences on education? Because what I see is a larger role of sports playing into the hours that a male boy during his school years. A lot of boys spend hours a day on sports. They only have so much energy left for academics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have they done studies on the role of sports influences on education? Because what I see is a larger role of sports playing into the hours that a male boy during his school years. A lot of boys spend hours a day on sports. They only have so much energy left for academics.

Shut the hell up- girls are playing travel soccer, club volleyball, basketball and dance at the same level and hours….

I was back in the late 80s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If education is indeed feminized, it would help to get more male teachers. But the pay is crap, so they won’t do it. (How many of you are encouraging your boys to become teachers? How many of you want your daughters to marry a teacher?) And around and around and around the world turns.

My DH is a math and science teacher. He says the brightest girls in the class are impressive. And the boys are generally appalling both in their behavior and their lack of preparation.

I sent my sons to an all male HS. There are lots of very impressive male teachers (graduate degrees- great schools and do dedicated). They have plenty of female teachers too. The boys are all very successful -pre and post graduation.

Because the parents of those boys have higher expectations, both in behavior and academics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So tired of boy mom threads blaming girls for everything.

+1 for thousands of years boys turned into men who ruled the world, and now that girls are able to go to college and get a good paying job, all of a sudden boys are falling behind? What is up with that? Boys are too weak? Boys are to delicate? I don't get it.

-mom of college boy and HS girl

I'm older, and grew up in a conservative culture where they did not encourage girls to go to college. I pushed myself and out-succeeded my brother, even as my parents put more energy on his college than mine. My mother would always say that my brother just didn't have the self motivation so he needed to be pushed more. My response to that was, "He's not dumb, and if he lacks any motivation, it's because you the parent had low expectations of him."

It's not the systems fault. It's the parenting.

+1 I also have a big and a girl who are doing equally well in school. I can’t tell you how times I’ve heard parents admit their incredibly low expectations of their boys, though. Particularly if they also have a girl. They really don’t their boys are capable of much and moms relish the chance to do everything for them.

I have noticed this big time. Boy moms do a lot of tasks for their sons, and overly worry and tend to them. Boys rely on their moms for help far more than girls do. There is a lack of skill building, a lack of resiliency. They know their moms are going to swoop in and help them. Girls have their sh*t together.

Stop with the fkggg generalizations. My sons have chores and have been independently handling their own school work/assignments since elementary school. They are active in community service and sports. Firstborn was accepted unhooked into multiple T10/20 schools and is top of his class in college. Younger son rising Senior in HS is the same.

In UMC-wealthy - they do not find these discrepancies between the sexes. The boys are thriving.

We have overlooked a big segment of lower SES males and public school constrainments/initiatives and community are the problem. Also- single parent/broken homes, lack of male role models in the low SES communities.

+100

99.1% go on to 4 year college ar my sons’ all male HS. At our local public- boys are going at the same rate as girls. Frankly, I can’t name a single boy in our neighborhood, sports teams, in the larger community, nephews, etc- that haven’t enrolled (and graduated) from a 4-year college.

This isn’t happening in UMC—it is a big problem if boys falling through the cracks in low class-lower MC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If education is indeed feminized, it would help to get more male teachers. But the pay is crap, so they won’t do it. (How many of you are encouraging your boys to become teachers? How many of you want your daughters to marry a teacher?) And around and around and around the world turns.

My DH is a math and science teacher. He says the brightest girls in the class are impressive. And the boys are generally appalling both in their behavior and their lack of preparation.

I sent my sons to an all male HS. There are lots of very impressive male teachers (graduate degrees- great schools and do dedicated). They have plenty of female teachers too. The boys are all very successful -pre and post graduation.

Why didn’t you keep him coed public?……..Annnnnd that’s your answer. Thank you for playing.

Because in public schools you get kids of parents who have low expectations of their kids' behavior and academics, and blame teachers or the system if the kids don't do well.

-parent of teen DS and DD in public school who know they are expected to behave and study

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If education is indeed feminized, it would help to get more male teachers. But the pay is crap, so they won’t do it. (How many of you are encouraging your boys to become teachers? How many of you want your daughters to marry a teacher?) And around and around and around the world turns.

My DH is a math and science teacher. He says the brightest girls in the class are impressive. And the boys are generally appalling both in their behavior and their lack of preparation.

I sent my sons to an all male HS. There are lots of very impressive male teachers (graduate degrees- great schools and do dedicated). They have plenty of female teachers too. The boys are all very successful -pre and post graduation.

Because the parents of those boys have higher expectations, both in behavior and academics.

I agree- but my sons have lots of friends at our local large public HS who are just like them (parents have the same expectations for them).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If education is indeed feminized, it would help to get more male teachers. But the pay is crap, so they won’t do it. (How many of you are encouraging your boys to become teachers? How many of you want your daughters to marry a teacher?) And around and around and around the world turns.

My DH is a math and science teacher. He says the brightest girls in the class are impressive. And the boys are generally appalling both in their behavior and their lack of preparation.

Sounds pretty biased, generalizing like that. Can't you see that when you run a classroom with that mindset that you'll never recognize the strengths of those boys? That's what's happening. Sounds like your DH could stand to go back to school and stop hurting these developing boys.

And yet, every single student in the middle school that has the teachers pulling their hair out, accommodation after accommodation after accommodation, is a boy. He is so fed up he might move to an all girls school.

Now he's just starting to sound creepy. And lazy. Nice combo.

[Anonymous]

I’m divorced UMC with a son (father is college-educated, lives nearby and is involved). I will admit that this isn’t the optimal family situation. I will also admit that my kid is more privileged than most. Finally, I’ll admit that a lot of things brought up in this thread are true. However, to tag people like my son (high stats, leader. at a top college) as doomed and on the off-ramp, isn’t constructive or fair. Life happens, kids (both genders) face all kinds of challenges regardless of their family set-up. Let’s focus on improving the schools and teaching drive, coping skills and resilience, for the benefit of BOTH boys and girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having a boy really opened my eyes to this issue. My well behaved, introvert, academically inclined DS is completing college a semester early with nearly perfect gpa, and even he ran into the bias against boys in the educational system. He had some wonderful teachers through the years, but he had some that clearly just didn’t like boys. I had friends with boys who were naturally rowdier who really struggled with it.

It has nothing to do with how they do on their academic assignments, but teachers who expect boys to act like girls and penalize them when they don’t and then wonder why they don’t like school. My son has had a great academic career, but I regret not sending him to an all boys school through at least middle school.

I don't have any sons, only daughters but I do agree there is sort if a bias against boys. Lots of teachers are female so that might be one of the reasons. Also I have no doubt that boys raised in divorced families with no fathers or a father figure has had an impact. Bottomline, we need more male role models.

How come boys used to thrive in the classroom then? Back in the baby boomer generation.

They were class presidents, leaders, valedictorians. This was in an era when teachers were female and classroom rules were very strict and prescriptive. Today, students are allowed to make noise and roam around in class. Back then they had be still and quiet.

So, how come boys were more successful academically back then?

My vote is increased screen time, decreasing attention span and limiting the ability to be at ease while bored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If education is indeed feminized, it would help to get more male teachers. But the pay is crap, so they won’t do it. (How many of you are encouraging your boys to become teachers? How many of you want your daughters to marry a teacher?) And around and around and around the world turns.

My DH is a math and science teacher. He says the brightest girls in the class are impressive. And the boys are generally appalling both in their behavior and their lack of preparation.

I sent my sons to an all male HS. There are lots of very impressive male teachers (graduate degrees- great schools and do dedicated). They have plenty of female teachers too. The boys are all very successful -pre and post graduation.

Why didn’t you keep him coed public?……..Annnnnd that’s your answer. Thank you for playing.

DP but I don’t agree. I sent my daughter to all girls private because I formally believe in the value of same sex education - for both boys and girls. Unfortunately for me our area doesn’t offer an equivalent all boys school for my sons or I would have sent them for sure.

[Anonymous]

Boys were more academically successful back then for a number of reasons. I tried to limit my son’s screen time and encourage books and trips to the library and local cultural events. I refused to let him have an IPAD or phone until he was older- and I got pushback from a lot of people fir that. Whether any of this made a difference, I don’t know (he’s ‘24), but I think we as a society have normalized dependence on electronics for young kids. It can be even more challenging for boys who aren’t interested in sports- at least sports get kids away from their electronics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If education is indeed feminized, it would help to get more male teachers. But the pay is crap, so they won’t do it. (How many of you are encouraging your boys to become teachers? How many of you want your daughters to marry a teacher?) And around and around and around the world turns.

My DH is a math and science teacher. He says the brightest girls in the class are impressive. And the boys are generally appalling both in their behavior and their lack of preparation.

I sent my sons to an all male HS. There are lots of very impressive male teachers (graduate degrees- great schools and do dedicated). They have plenty of female teachers too. The boys are all very successful -pre and post graduation.

Why didn’t you keep him coed public?……..Annnnnd that’s your answer. Thank you for playing.

DP but I don’t agree. I sent my daughter to all girls private because I formally believe in the value of same sex education - for both boys and girls. Unfortunately for me our area doesn’t offer an equivalent all boys school for my sons or I would have sent them for sure.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m divorced UMC with a son (father is college-educated, lives nearby and is involved). I will admit that this isn’t the optimal family situation. I will also admit that my kid is more privileged than most. Finally, I’ll admit that a lot of things brought up in this thread are true. However, to tag people like my son (high stats, leader. at a top college) as doomed and on the off-ramp, isn’t constructive or fair. Life happens, kids (both genders) face all kinds of challenges regardless of their family set-up. Let’s focus on improving the schools and teaching drive, coping skills and resilience, for the benefit of BOTH boys and girls.

To be fair the “single parent” was in the context of low SES where one parent/father never was involved. Studies show that is a huge hurdle —not in your class bracket

[Anonymous]

More men are MAGA. They are anti-college. It will get worse.