Basic Hygiene and Grooming for Social Presentation 101

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of these have nothing to do with hygiene, for example getting regular haircuts. I dont like cutting my hair every 6 weeks, and I was blessed with straight hair that doesn't take a ton of styling. I wash it every other day or so and it's sparkling clean, and I make sure to cut it every few months so there arent a ton of split ends, but, again, not really a hygiene issue even if I went longer without a haircut. You seem like an overly retentive, controlling person.

The topic is Hygiene and Grooming. Hair maintenance definitely is part of grooming.

You’re such a colossal ass-ache, my darling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of these have nothing to do with hygiene, for example getting regular haircuts. I dont like cutting my hair every 6 weeks, and I was blessed with straight hair that doesn't take a ton of styling. I wash it every other day or so and it's sparkling clean, and I make sure to cut it every few months so there arent a ton of split ends, but, again, not really a hygiene issue even if I went longer without a haircut. You seem like an overly retentive, controlling person.

The topic is Hygiene and Grooming. Hair maintenance definitely is part of grooming.

You’re such a colossal ass-ache, my darling.

But my clothes are wrinkle free, dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of these have nothing to do with hygiene, for example getting regular haircuts. I dont like cutting my hair every 6 weeks, and I was blessed with straight hair that doesn't take a ton of styling. I wash it every other day or so and it's sparkling clean, and I make sure to cut it every few months so there arent a ton of split ends, but, again, not really a hygiene issue even if I went longer without a haircut. You seem like an overly retentive, controlling person.

The topic is Hygiene and Grooming. Hair maintenance definitely is part of grooming.

You’re such a colossal ass-ache, my darling.

But my clothes are wrinkle free, dear.

This is your flex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of these have nothing to do with hygiene, for example getting regular haircuts. I dont like cutting my hair every 6 weeks, and I was blessed with straight hair that doesn't take a ton of styling. I wash it every other day or so and it's sparkling clean, and I make sure to cut it every few months so there arent a ton of split ends, but, again, not really a hygiene issue even if I went longer without a haircut. You seem like an overly retentive, controlling person.

The topic is Hygiene and Grooming. Hair maintenance definitely is part of grooming.

You’re such a colossal ass-ache, my darling.

But my clothes are wrinkle free, dear.

This is your flex?

Her grooming is what stands in for and she thinks, wrongly, suffices, for her failure to be aesthetically pleasing or having a good personality, so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Shower daily if not twice a day if you work out. Instead of dictating how often people should shower, just say that people should shower before interacting with others. Some people shower less if they are just home alone and I see no problem with that. People should be clean when they leave the house.
2. Post shower moisturizing: Moisturize your whole body; even better if you can supplement with body oil. Focus on your neck and feet as they are often neglected! Look, I am really big on moisturizing because I'm prone to dry skin and especially this time of year I'm religious about it. But this is none of your business. If you are noticing dry skin on someone's neck, you are standing too close to them. Back up and stop being so nosy.
3. Dental Hygiene: Brush and floss your teeth at least twice a day! Pro Tip: use a waterpick! If your teeth are discolored, teeth whitening definitely helps freshen up your smile. Flossing once a day is fine. Waterpicks can be helpful but do what works for you. But OP if you don't like discolored teeth, keep it to yourself. First of all, most people don't know what the natural color of teeth is anymore because whitening is so common -- a lot of people's normal teeth will read as "discolored" because we are conditioned by Hollywood super white veneers to think off-white looks "dirty." Teeth whitening is not a hygiene issue. It's an aesthetic preference. None of your business.
4. Trim stray hairs. Have neat and clean eyebrows, no stray hairs peeking from under your nose! This is also largely an aesthetic preference. Older people in particular often have more hair in the noses and ears. Judging them for that is a poor reflection on you. This can be a preference you have for romantic partners but just expecting all people you interact with to really be getting in there with the trimmers is too much. Some people will have stray hairs, bushy eyebrows, etc. Deal with it.
5. Skin care. Invest in quality skincare so your skin is clear and healthy with no obvious blemishes. This is mostly just classist. "Invest in quality skincare"? Honestly, **** off. I used to have bad acne and it was a hormonal issue and there was nothing I could do. I now have perfect skin AND can afford to spend extra money on stuff to make my skin look really nice but I NEVER judge people with bad skin. No one wants to have bad skin and often people have no control over it. It took me years to address my acne. I had good hygiene the whole time. I'm sorry you don't how it looks, I don't like your attitude. So I guess we're even.
6. Hair. Stay current on your haircuts! You don't need to have a lavish hairdo but keep hair neat and styled so it looks presentable and not like you just got out of bed. This is another style choice. If someone's hair is clean, it's none of your business how it is styled. You can argue that women with long hair need to trim it or keep it contained so it doesn't get in people's food -- that' a hygiene issue. But otherwise, not your business. Don't like someone's messy bun? Tough. Maybe she thinks your perfectly coifed bob is too severe and high maintenance. It's a style disagreement, not hygiene.
7. Clean clothing. Wear clean and pressed clothing that fit you well! Clean clothes, yes. "Pressed" -- only if they need it. A lot of people wear clothes that don't. Athleisure is so common now. If I saw someone in a wrinkled outfit at a more formal event, I would assume they were having a hard time. But it's not a hygiene issue. Cut people some slack. You sound like you would freak out if somone showed up in khakis without a firm crease down the front. Unclench.
8. Nails. Nothing is worse than gross nails! Keep them trimmed and short. Either wear no polish or keep current with your manicures so there is no chipping. Again, half of this is hygiene (short and clean nails) and half is not -- stop staring at people nail polish so close that you can see chips or whatever. Some people care about that and some don't You need to just let this go.

The title of this thread is Basic Hygiene and Grooming.

I think OP's standards are too high for "basic grooming." Like clean teeth and address breath issues -- yes. Whitening teeth? Eh, I think it looks better but I don't consider someone "ungroomed" if they don't whiten their teeth. I also think OP sounds uptight about some of this stuff. Like the way she describes her standards for hair make it sound like she expects people hair to be neat as a pin. But a messy bun is actually pretty on trend these days. So is a kind of wavy bedhead look. I see people who are well groomed with these hairstyles all the time -- it's clearly how they want their hair to look.

Demanding people "press" their clothes in 2025 makes you sound insane. Same with the phrase "invest in quality skincare." I actually love "investing" in skin care but that should not be a basic grooming standard. Basic grooming standards mean your face is clean with maybe minimal makeup (if female) and any major issues (dryness, blemishes) addressed if not resolved. I don't think basic grooming requires someone to be investing in a detailed skincare regimen.

OP sounds super controlling. There are standards you have for yourself, standards you have for a significant other or child, standards you have for friends, and then there's what you can expect just random people you encounter each day to do. The standards for the last group are much lower but OP doesn't seem to get this. You cannot control people that much. You are not going to get "trimmed and plucked eyebrows" to become a universal grooming standard. You just aren't. Let it go.

I agree with OP that clothes should be ironed. I rarely wear athleisure, but when I do, it’s ironed. I don’t understand the obsession with wearing wrinkled clothes.

Is this sarcasm? Please say it is.

No, it’s not sarcasm. I don’t wear wrinkled clothing, not even when working from home. Ironing one’s clothes is not difficult to do.

I work from home too, and am wearing the same nightgown I've been wearing since last Thursday. I don't own an iron. Ironing your clothes is difficult to do if you can't afford an iron and don't have flat surfaces to iron on, and have never learned to iron.

Wtf?!

What? I see nobody, so I don't change my clothes much. I shower when I can smell myself, or if I'm going to be around people. It saves me money since it costs $5 per load of laundry.

Again WTF? Were you raised by wolves? Shower daily, change your clothes and underwear daily. Get your life together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Your soul is probably dirtier than these other people's. It's because you keep noticing superficial cosmetic blips instead of focusing on inner beauty and integrity.

Clean yourself up, OP. You have a ton of work to do!

+1 OP you suck. I'm sorry my peri-menopausal blemish bothers you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of these have nothing to do with hygiene, for example getting regular haircuts. I dont like cutting my hair every 6 weeks, and I was blessed with straight hair that doesn't take a ton of styling. I wash it every other day or so and it's sparkling clean, and I make sure to cut it every few months so there arent a ton of split ends, but, again, not really a hygiene issue even if I went longer without a haircut. You seem like an overly retentive, controlling person.

The topic is Hygiene and Grooming. Hair maintenance definitely is part of grooming.

If you have to work this hard just to be presentable, you were probably a pretty unattractive person to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of these have nothing to do with hygiene, for example getting regular haircuts. I dont like cutting my hair every 6 weeks, and I was blessed with straight hair that doesn't take a ton of styling. I wash it every other day or so and it's sparkling clean, and I make sure to cut it every few months so there arent a ton of split ends, but, again, not really a hygiene issue even if I went longer without a haircut. You seem like an overly retentive, controlling person.

The topic is Hygiene and Grooming. Hair maintenance definitely is part of grooming.

You’re such a colossal ass-ache, my darling.

But my clothes are wrinkle free, dear.

This is your flex?

Her grooming is what stands in for and she thinks, wrongly, suffices, for her failure to be aesthetically pleasing or having a good personality, so.

Unlike many of you, I am simultaneously beautiful, well-groomed, well-dressed and congenial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Shower daily if not twice a day if you work out. Instead of dictating how often people should shower, just say that people should shower before interacting with others. Some people shower less if they are just home alone and I see no problem with that. People should be clean when they leave the house.
2. Post shower moisturizing: Moisturize your whole body; even better if you can supplement with body oil. Focus on your neck and feet as they are often neglected! Look, I am really big on moisturizing because I'm prone to dry skin and especially this time of year I'm religious about it. But this is none of your business. If you are noticing dry skin on someone's neck, you are standing too close to them. Back up and stop being so nosy.
3. Dental Hygiene: Brush and floss your teeth at least twice a day! Pro Tip: use a waterpick! If your teeth are discolored, teeth whitening definitely helps freshen up your smile. Flossing once a day is fine. Waterpicks can be helpful but do what works for you. But OP if you don't like discolored teeth, keep it to yourself. First of all, most people don't know what the natural color of teeth is anymore because whitening is so common -- a lot of people's normal teeth will read as "discolored" because we are conditioned by Hollywood super white veneers to think off-white looks "dirty." Teeth whitening is not a hygiene issue. It's an aesthetic preference. None of your business.
4. Trim stray hairs. Have neat and clean eyebrows, no stray hairs peeking from under your nose! This is also largely an aesthetic preference. Older people in particular often have more hair in the noses and ears. Judging them for that is a poor reflection on you. This can be a preference you have for romantic partners but just expecting all people you interact with to really be getting in there with the trimmers is too much. Some people will have stray hairs, bushy eyebrows, etc. Deal with it.
5. Skin care. Invest in quality skincare so your skin is clear and healthy with no obvious blemishes. This is mostly just classist. "Invest in quality skincare"? Honestly, **** off. I used to have bad acne and it was a hormonal issue and there was nothing I could do. I now have perfect skin AND can afford to spend extra money on stuff to make my skin look really nice but I NEVER judge people with bad skin. No one wants to have bad skin and often people have no control over it. It took me years to address my acne. I had good hygiene the whole time. I'm sorry you don't how it looks, I don't like your attitude. So I guess we're even.
6. Hair. Stay current on your haircuts! You don't need to have a lavish hairdo but keep hair neat and styled so it looks presentable and not like you just got out of bed. This is another style choice. If someone's hair is clean, it's none of your business how it is styled. You can argue that women with long hair need to trim it or keep it contained so it doesn't get in people's food -- that' a hygiene issue. But otherwise, not your business. Don't like someone's messy bun? Tough. Maybe she thinks your perfectly coifed bob is too severe and high maintenance. It's a style disagreement, not hygiene.
7. Clean clothing. Wear clean and pressed clothing that fit you well! Clean clothes, yes. "Pressed" -- only if they need it. A lot of people wear clothes that don't. Athleisure is so common now. If I saw someone in a wrinkled outfit at a more formal event, I would assume they were having a hard time. But it's not a hygiene issue. Cut people some slack. You sound like you would freak out if somone showed up in khakis without a firm crease down the front. Unclench.
8. Nails. Nothing is worse than gross nails! Keep them trimmed and short. Either wear no polish or keep current with your manicures so there is no chipping. Again, half of this is hygiene (short and clean nails) and half is not -- stop staring at people nail polish so close that you can see chips or whatever. Some people care about that and some don't You need to just let this go.

The title of this thread is Basic Hygiene and Grooming.

I think OP's standards are too high for "basic grooming." Like clean teeth and address breath issues -- yes. Whitening teeth? Eh, I think it looks better but I don't consider someone "ungroomed" if they don't whiten their teeth. I also think OP sounds uptight about some of this stuff. Like the way she describes her standards for hair make it sound like she expects people hair to be neat as a pin. But a messy bun is actually pretty on trend these days. So is a kind of wavy bedhead look. I see people who are well groomed with these hairstyles all the time -- it's clearly how they want their hair to look.

Demanding people "press" their clothes in 2025 makes you sound insane. Same with the phrase "invest in quality skincare." I actually love "investing" in skin care but that should not be a basic grooming standard. Basic grooming standards mean your face is clean with maybe minimal makeup (if female) and any major issues (dryness, blemishes) addressed if not resolved. I don't think basic grooming requires someone to be investing in a detailed skincare regimen.

OP sounds super controlling. There are standards you have for yourself, standards you have for a significant other or child, standards you have for friends, and then there's what you can expect just random people you encounter each day to do. The standards for the last group are much lower but OP doesn't seem to get this. You cannot control people that much. You are not going to get "trimmed and plucked eyebrows" to become a universal grooming standard. You just aren't. Let it go.

I agree with OP that clothes should be ironed. I rarely wear athleisure, but when I do, it’s ironed. I don’t understand the obsession with wearing wrinkled clothes.

Is this sarcasm? Please say it is.

No, it’s not sarcasm. I don’t wear wrinkled clothing, not even when working from home. Ironing one’s clothes is not difficult to do.

I work from home too, and am wearing the same nightgown I've been wearing since last Thursday. I don't own an iron. Ironing your clothes is difficult to do if you can't afford an iron and don't have flat surfaces to iron on, and have never learned to iron.

Wtf?!

What? I see nobody, so I don't change my clothes much. I shower when I can smell myself, or if I'm going to be around people. It saves me money since it costs $5 per load of laundry.

Again WTF? Were you raised by wolves? Shower daily, change your clothes and underwear daily. Get your life together.

+1. I feel embarrassed for the person who posted the person who showers only when they can smell their body odor. If doing laundry is cost prohibitive, maybe learn to hand wash items, and buy a clothes drying rack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of these have nothing to do with hygiene, for example getting regular haircuts. I dont like cutting my hair every 6 weeks, and I was blessed with straight hair that doesn't take a ton of styling. I wash it every other day or so and it's sparkling clean, and I make sure to cut it every few months so there arent a ton of split ends, but, again, not really a hygiene issue even if I went longer without a haircut. You seem like an overly retentive, controlling person.

The topic is Hygiene and Grooming. Hair maintenance definitely is part of grooming.

You’re such a colossal ass-ache, my darling.

But my clothes are wrinkle free, dear.

This is your flex?

Her grooming is what stands in for and she thinks, wrongly, suffices, for her failure to be aesthetically pleasing or having a good personality, so.

Unlike many of you, I am simultaneously beautiful, well-groomed, well-dressed and congenial.

That last word doesn’t mean what you apparently think it does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of these have nothing to do with hygiene, for example getting regular haircuts. I dont like cutting my hair every 6 weeks, and I was blessed with straight hair that doesn't take a ton of styling. I wash it every other day or so and it's sparkling clean, and I make sure to cut it every few months so there arent a ton of split ends, but, again, not really a hygiene issue even if I went longer without a haircut. You seem like an overly retentive, controlling person.

The topic is Hygiene and Grooming. Hair maintenance definitely is part of grooming.

You’re such a colossal ass-ache, my darling.

But my clothes are wrinkle free, dear.

This is your flex?

Her grooming is what stands in for and she thinks, wrongly, suffices, for her failure to be aesthetically pleasing or having a good personality, so.

Unlike many of you, I am simultaneously beautiful, well-groomed, well-dressed and congenial.

That last word doesn’t mean what you apparently think it does.

congenial
adjective
con·​ge·​nial kən-ˈjē-nē-əl -ˈjēn-yəl
Synonyms of congenial
1
a
: PLEASANT
especially : agreeably suited to one's nature, tastes, or outlook
a congenial atmosphere
b
: SOCIABLE, GENIAL
a congenial host
c
: existing or associated together harmoniously
2
: having the same nature, disposition, or tastes : KINDRED
congenial companions
congenially
kən-ˈjē-nē-ə-lē
-ˈjēn-yə-
adverb

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of these have nothing to do with hygiene, for example getting regular haircuts. I dont like cutting my hair every 6 weeks, and I was blessed with straight hair that doesn't take a ton of styling. I wash it every other day or so and it's sparkling clean, and I make sure to cut it every few months so there arent a ton of split ends, but, again, not really a hygiene issue even if I went longer without a haircut. You seem like an overly retentive, controlling person.

The topic is Hygiene and Grooming. Hair maintenance definitely is part of grooming.

You’re such a colossal ass-ache, my darling.

But my clothes are wrinkle free, dear.

This is your flex?

Her grooming is what stands in for and she thinks, wrongly, suffices, for her failure to be aesthetically pleasing or having a good personality, so.

Unlike many of you, I am simultaneously beautiful, well-groomed, well-dressed and congenial.

That last word doesn’t mean what you apparently think it does.

congenial

adjective as in friendly, compatible
Compare Synonyms


affable
agreeable
convivial
cordial
favorable
genial
gracious
harmonious
jovial
mellow
pleasant
pleasing
sociable
sympathetic

[Anonymous]

I see that you are still triggered. It seems that the solution is to improve your appearance by following the suggestions in the original post, especially ironing your clothes.

[Anonymous]

DMV area has some real slobs. And it got a lot worse during Covid. Being a parent to a younger than 5 yo child or special needs, or some other special circumstance, I get it. The rest of you (or myself) have no excuse besides some low level inadequatelj treated mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Things that are repulsive to me:
Nasty nails, crusty feet, bad breath, greasy hair, dandruff, any BO. I also have a sensitive nose and I'd rather smell an overdose of Sabrina Carpenter's perfume than someone's rancid sebum, sweat or smelly feet.
I don't care about someone's haircut, hair color, wrinkles, hyperpigmentation, size in general etc.