Basic Hygiene and Grooming for Social Presentation 101

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Shower daily if not twice a day if you work out. Instead of dictating how often people should shower, just say that people should shower before interacting with others. Some people shower less if they are just home alone and I see no problem with that. People should be clean when they leave the house.
2. Post shower moisturizing: Moisturize your whole body; even better if you can supplement with body oil. Focus on your neck and feet as they are often neglected! Look, I am really big on moisturizing because I'm prone to dry skin and especially this time of year I'm religious about it. But this is none of your business. If you are noticing dry skin on someone's neck, you are standing too close to them. Back up and stop being so nosy.
3. Dental Hygiene: Brush and floss your teeth at least twice a day! Pro Tip: use a waterpick! If your teeth are discolored, teeth whitening definitely helps freshen up your smile. Flossing once a day is fine. Waterpicks can be helpful but do what works for you. But OP if you don't like discolored teeth, keep it to yourself. First of all, most people don't know what the natural color of teeth is anymore because whitening is so common -- a lot of people's normal teeth will read as "discolored" because we are conditioned by Hollywood super white veneers to think off-white looks "dirty." Teeth whitening is not a hygiene issue. It's an aesthetic preference. None of your business.
4. Trim stray hairs. Have neat and clean eyebrows, no stray hairs peeking from under your nose! This is also largely an aesthetic preference. Older people in particular often have more hair in the noses and ears. Judging them for that is a poor reflection on you. This can be a preference you have for romantic partners but just expecting all people you interact with to really be getting in there with the trimmers is too much. Some people will have stray hairs, bushy eyebrows, etc. Deal with it.
5. Skin care. Invest in quality skincare so your skin is clear and healthy with no obvious blemishes. This is mostly just classist. "Invest in quality skincare"? Honestly, **** off. I used to have bad acne and it was a hormonal issue and there was nothing I could do. I now have perfect skin AND can afford to spend extra money on stuff to make my skin look really nice but I NEVER judge people with bad skin. No one wants to have bad skin and often people have no control over it. It took me years to address my acne. I had good hygiene the whole time. I'm sorry you don't how it looks, I don't like your attitude. So I guess we're even.
6. Hair. Stay current on your haircuts! You don't need to have a lavish hairdo but keep hair neat and styled so it looks presentable and not like you just got out of bed. This is another style choice. If someone's hair is clean, it's none of your business how it is styled. You can argue that women with long hair need to trim it or keep it contained so it doesn't get in people's food -- that' a hygiene issue. But otherwise, not your business. Don't like someone's messy bun? Tough. Maybe she thinks your perfectly coifed bob is too severe and high maintenance. It's a style disagreement, not hygiene.
7. Clean clothing. Wear clean and pressed clothing that fit you well! Clean clothes, yes. "Pressed" -- only if they need it. A lot of people wear clothes that don't. Athleisure is so common now. If I saw someone in a wrinkled outfit at a more formal event, I would assume they were having a hard time. But it's not a hygiene issue. Cut people some slack. You sound like you would freak out if somone showed up in khakis without a firm crease down the front. [b]Unclench.
8. Nails. Nothing is worse than gross nails! Keep them trimmed and short. Either wear no polish or keep current with your manicures so there is no chipping. Again, half of this is hygiene (short and clean nails) and half is not -- stop staring at people nail polish so close that you can see chips or whatever. Some people care about that and some don't You need to just let this go.

Unclench +1000

[Anonymous]

I"m 49 and have never used moisturizer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Shower daily if not twice a day if you work out. Instead of dictating how often people should shower, just say that people should shower before interacting with others. Some people shower less if they are just home alone and I see no problem with that. People should be clean when they leave the house.
2. Post shower moisturizing: Moisturize your whole body; even better if you can supplement with body oil. Focus on your neck and feet as they are often neglected! Look, I am really big on moisturizing because I'm prone to dry skin and especially this time of year I'm religious about it. But this is none of your business. If you are noticing dry skin on someone's neck, you are standing too close to them. Back up and stop being so nosy.
3. Dental Hygiene: Brush and floss your teeth at least twice a day! Pro Tip: use a waterpick! If your teeth are discolored, teeth whitening definitely helps freshen up your smile. Flossing once a day is fine. Waterpicks can be helpful but do what works for you. But OP if you don't like discolored teeth, keep it to yourself. First of all, most people don't know what the natural color of teeth is anymore because whitening is so common -- a lot of people's normal teeth will read as "discolored" because we are conditioned by Hollywood super white veneers to think off-white looks "dirty." Teeth whitening is not a hygiene issue. It's an aesthetic preference. None of your business.
4. Trim stray hairs. Have neat and clean eyebrows, no stray hairs peeking from under your nose! This is also largely an aesthetic preference. Older people in particular often have more hair in the noses and ears. Judging them for that is a poor reflection on you. This can be a preference you have for romantic partners but just expecting all people you interact with to really be getting in there with the trimmers is too much. Some people will have stray hairs, bushy eyebrows, etc. Deal with it.
5. Skin care. Invest in quality skincare so your skin is clear and healthy with no obvious blemishes. This is mostly just classist. "Invest in quality skincare"? Honestly, **** off. I used to have bad acne and it was a hormonal issue and there was nothing I could do. I now have perfect skin AND can afford to spend extra money on stuff to make my skin look really nice but I NEVER judge people with bad skin. No one wants to have bad skin and often people have no control over it. It took me years to address my acne. I had good hygiene the whole time. I'm sorry you don't how it looks, I don't like your attitude. So I guess we're even.
6. Hair. Stay current on your haircuts! You don't need to have a lavish hairdo but keep hair neat and styled so it looks presentable and not like you just got out of bed. This is another style choice. If someone's hair is clean, it's none of your business how it is styled. You can argue that women with long hair need to trim it or keep it contained so it doesn't get in people's food -- that' a hygiene issue. But otherwise, not your business. Don't like someone's messy bun? Tough. Maybe she thinks your perfectly coifed bob is too severe and high maintenance. It's a style disagreement, not hygiene.
7. Clean clothing. Wear clean and pressed clothing that fit you well! Clean clothes, yes. "Pressed" -- only if they need it. A lot of people wear clothes that don't. Athleisure is so common now. If I saw someone in a wrinkled outfit at a more formal event, I would assume they were having a hard time. But it's not a hygiene issue. Cut people some slack. You sound like you would freak out if somone showed up in khakis without a firm crease down the front. Unclench.
8. Nails. Nothing is worse than gross nails! Keep them trimmed and short. Either wear no polish or keep current with your manicures so there is no chipping. Again, half of this is hygiene (short and clean nails) and half is not -- stop staring at people nail polish so close that you can see chips or whatever. Some people care about that and some don't You need to just let this go.

The title of this thread is Basic Hygiene and Grooming.

I think OP's standards are too high for "basic grooming." Like clean teeth and address breath issues -- yes. Whitening teeth? Eh, I think it looks better but I don't consider someone "ungroomed" if they don't whiten their teeth. I also think OP sounds uptight about some of this stuff. Like the way she describes her standards for hair make it sound like she expects people hair to be neat as a pin. But a messy bun is actually pretty on trend these days. So is a kind of wavy bedhead look. I see people who are well groomed with these hairstyles all the time -- it's clearly how they want their hair to look.

Demanding people "press" their clothes in 2025 makes you sound insane. Same with the phrase "invest in quality skincare." I actually love "investing" in skin care but that should not be a basic grooming standard. Basic grooming standards mean your face is clean with maybe minimal makeup (if female) and any major issues (dryness, blemishes) addressed if not resolved. I don't think basic grooming requires someone to be investing in a detailed skincare regimen.

OP sounds super controlling. There are standards you have for yourself, standards you have for a significant other or child, standards you have for friends, and then there's what you can expect just random people you encounter each day to do. The standards for the last group are much lower but OP doesn't seem to get this. You cannot control people that much. You are not going to get "trimmed and plucked eyebrows" to become a universal grooming standard. You just aren't. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Shower daily if not twice a day if you work out. Instead of dictating how often people should shower, just say that people should shower before interacting with others. Some people shower less if they are just home alone and I see no problem with that. People should be clean when they leave the house.
2. Post shower moisturizing: Moisturize your whole body; even better if you can supplement with body oil. Focus on your neck and feet as they are often neglected! Look, I am really big on moisturizing because I'm prone to dry skin and especially this time of year I'm religious about it. But this is none of your business. If you are noticing dry skin on someone's neck, you are standing too close to them. Back up and stop being so nosy.
3. Dental Hygiene: Brush and floss your teeth at least twice a day! Pro Tip: use a waterpick! If your teeth are discolored, teeth whitening definitely helps freshen up your smile. Flossing once a day is fine. Waterpicks can be helpful but do what works for you. But OP if you don't like discolored teeth, keep it to yourself. First of all, most people don't know what the natural color of teeth is anymore because whitening is so common -- a lot of people's normal teeth will read as "discolored" because we are conditioned by Hollywood super white veneers to think off-white looks "dirty." Teeth whitening is not a hygiene issue. It's an aesthetic preference. None of your business.
4. Trim stray hairs. Have neat and clean eyebrows, no stray hairs peeking from under your nose! This is also largely an aesthetic preference. Older people in particular often have more hair in the noses and ears. Judging them for that is a poor reflection on you. This can be a preference you have for romantic partners but just expecting all people you interact with to really be getting in there with the trimmers is too much. Some people will have stray hairs, bushy eyebrows, etc. Deal with it.
5. Skin care. Invest in quality skincare so your skin is clear and healthy with no obvious blemishes. This is mostly just classist. "Invest in quality skincare"? Honestly, **** off. I used to have bad acne and it was a hormonal issue and there was nothing I could do. I now have perfect skin AND can afford to spend extra money on stuff to make my skin look really nice but I NEVER judge people with bad skin. No one wants to have bad skin and often people have no control over it. It took me years to address my acne. I had good hygiene the whole time. I'm sorry you don't how it looks, I don't like your attitude. So I guess we're even.
6. Hair. Stay current on your haircuts! You don't need to have a lavish hairdo but keep hair neat and styled so it looks presentable and not like you just got out of bed. This is another style choice. If someone's hair is clean, it's none of your business how it is styled. You can argue that women with long hair need to trim it or keep it contained so it doesn't get in people's food -- that' a hygiene issue. But otherwise, not your business. Don't like someone's messy bun? Tough. Maybe she thinks your perfectly coifed bob is too severe and high maintenance. It's a style disagreement, not hygiene.
7. Clean clothing. Wear clean and pressed clothing that fit you well! Clean clothes, yes. "Pressed" -- only if they need it. A lot of people wear clothes that don't. Athleisure is so common now. If I saw someone in a wrinkled outfit at a more formal event, I would assume they were having a hard time. But it's not a hygiene issue. Cut people some slack. You sound like you would freak out if somone showed up in khakis without a firm crease down the front. Unclench.
8. Nails. Nothing is worse than gross nails! Keep them trimmed and short. Either wear no polish or keep current with your manicures so there is no chipping. Again, half of this is hygiene (short and clean nails) and half is not -- stop staring at people nail polish so close that you can see chips or whatever. Some people care about that and some don't You need to just let this go.

The title of this thread is Basic Hygiene and Grooming.

I think OP's standards are too high for "basic grooming." Like clean teeth and address breath issues -- yes. Whitening teeth? Eh, I think it looks better but I don't consider someone "ungroomed" if they don't whiten their teeth. I also think OP sounds uptight about some of this stuff. Like the way she describes her standards for hair make it sound like she expects people hair to be neat as a pin. But a messy bun is actually pretty on trend these days. So is a kind of wavy bedhead look. I see people who are well groomed with these hairstyles all the time -- it's clearly how they want their hair to look.

Demanding people "press" their clothes in 2025 makes you sound insane. Same with the phrase "invest in quality skincare." I actually love "investing" in skin care but that should not be a basic grooming standard. Basic grooming standards mean your face is clean with maybe minimal makeup (if female) and any major issues (dryness, blemishes) addressed if not resolved. I don't think basic grooming requires someone to be investing in a detailed skincare regimen.

OP sounds super controlling. There are standards you have for yourself, standards you have for a significant other or child, standards you have for friends, and then there's what you can expect just random people you encounter each day to do. The standards for the last group are much lower but OP doesn't seem to get this. You cannot control people that much. You are not going to get "trimmed and plucked eyebrows" to become a universal grooming standard. You just aren't. Let it go.

I agree with OP that clothes should be ironed. I rarely wear athleisure, but when I do, it’s ironed. I don’t understand the obsession with wearing wrinkled clothes.

[Anonymous]

I do pretty much everything on OP’s list (except nails—my nails are admittedly a mess) and I have a feeling I still would not pass muster with someone like her. I’m clean, get a haircut and color every 5 weeks, moisturize religiously… and yet I still have dry skin in winter, my hair is thinning and doesn’t look good no matter what I do, my clothes (even though I spent a lot on them!) look rumpled and pilly.

In my late 40s now, I just don’t care anymore.

[Anonymous]

You're missing how classist you are. Not everyone can afford to "press" their clothes, and not everyone can afford a Waterpik. People are doing the best they can. Try judging people for their personality rather than their appearance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Shower daily if not twice a day if you work out. Instead of dictating how often people should shower, just say that people should shower before interacting with others. Some people shower less if they are just home alone and I see no problem with that. People should be clean when they leave the house.
2. Post shower moisturizing: Moisturize your whole body; even better if you can supplement with body oil. Focus on your neck and feet as they are often neglected! Look, I am really big on moisturizing because I'm prone to dry skin and especially this time of year I'm religious about it. But this is none of your business. If you are noticing dry skin on someone's neck, you are standing too close to them. Back up and stop being so nosy.
3. Dental Hygiene: Brush and floss your teeth at least twice a day! Pro Tip: use a waterpick! If your teeth are discolored, teeth whitening definitely helps freshen up your smile. Flossing once a day is fine. Waterpicks can be helpful but do what works for you. But OP if you don't like discolored teeth, keep it to yourself. First of all, most people don't know what the natural color of teeth is anymore because whitening is so common -- a lot of people's normal teeth will read as "discolored" because we are conditioned by Hollywood super white veneers to think off-white looks "dirty." Teeth whitening is not a hygiene issue. It's an aesthetic preference. None of your business.
4. Trim stray hairs. Have neat and clean eyebrows, no stray hairs peeking from under your nose! This is also largely an aesthetic preference. Older people in particular often have more hair in the noses and ears. Judging them for that is a poor reflection on you. This can be a preference you have for romantic partners but just expecting all people you interact with to really be getting in there with the trimmers is too much. Some people will have stray hairs, bushy eyebrows, etc. Deal with it.
5. Skin care. Invest in quality skincare so your skin is clear and healthy with no obvious blemishes. This is mostly just classist. "Invest in quality skincare"? Honestly, **** off. I used to have bad acne and it was a hormonal issue and there was nothing I could do. I now have perfect skin AND can afford to spend extra money on stuff to make my skin look really nice but I NEVER judge people with bad skin. No one wants to have bad skin and often people have no control over it. It took me years to address my acne. I had good hygiene the whole time. I'm sorry you don't how it looks, I don't like your attitude. So I guess we're even.
6. Hair. Stay current on your haircuts! You don't need to have a lavish hairdo but keep hair neat and styled so it looks presentable and not like you just got out of bed. This is another style choice. If someone's hair is clean, it's none of your business how it is styled. You can argue that women with long hair need to trim it or keep it contained so it doesn't get in people's food -- that' a hygiene issue. But otherwise, not your business. Don't like someone's messy bun? Tough. Maybe she thinks your perfectly coifed bob is too severe and high maintenance. It's a style disagreement, not hygiene.
7. Clean clothing. Wear clean and pressed clothing that fit you well! Clean clothes, yes. "Pressed" -- only if they need it. A lot of people wear clothes that don't. Athleisure is so common now. If I saw someone in a wrinkled outfit at a more formal event, I would assume they were having a hard time. But it's not a hygiene issue. Cut people some slack. You sound like you would freak out if somone showed up in khakis without a firm crease down the front. Unclench.
8. Nails. Nothing is worse than gross nails! Keep them trimmed and short. Either wear no polish or keep current with your manicures so there is no chipping. Again, half of this is hygiene (short and clean nails) and half is not -- stop staring at people nail polish so close that you can see chips or whatever. Some people care about that and some don't You need to just let this go.

The title of this thread is Basic Hygiene and Grooming.

I think OP's standards are too high for "basic grooming." Like clean teeth and address breath issues -- yes. Whitening teeth? Eh, I think it looks better but I don't consider someone "ungroomed" if they don't whiten their teeth. I also think OP sounds uptight about some of this stuff. Like the way she describes her standards for hair make it sound like she expects people hair to be neat as a pin. But a messy bun is actually pretty on trend these days. So is a kind of wavy bedhead look. I see people who are well groomed with these hairstyles all the time -- it's clearly how they want their hair to look.

Demanding people "press" their clothes in 2025 makes you sound insane. Same with the phrase "invest in quality skincare." I actually love "investing" in skin care but that should not be a basic grooming standard. Basic grooming standards mean your face is clean with maybe minimal makeup (if female) and any major issues (dryness, blemishes) addressed if not resolved. I don't think basic grooming requires someone to be investing in a detailed skincare regimen.

OP sounds super controlling. There are standards you have for yourself, standards you have for a significant other or child, standards you have for friends, and then there's what you can expect just random people you encounter each day to do. The standards for the last group are much lower but OP doesn't seem to get this. You cannot control people that much. You are not going to get "trimmed and plucked eyebrows" to become a universal grooming standard. You just aren't. Let it go.

I agree with OP that clothes should be ironed. I rarely wear athleisure, but when I do, it’s ironed. I don’t understand the obsession with wearing wrinkled clothes.

Is this sarcasm? Please say it is.

[Anonymous]

I shower daily and brush my teeth multiple times a day but I’m sorry I was allergic to antibiotics as a kid and as a result my teeth are darker from the side effects of tetracycline.

Trust me, I’ve tried whitening but doubt they’ll ever meet OP’s requirement.

[Anonymous]

Also take a moment to toss any clothing that has ever been stored with moth balls.

That odor is never coming out of your clothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Shower daily if not twice a day if you work out. Instead of dictating how often people should shower, just say that people should shower before interacting with others. Some people shower less if they are just home alone and I see no problem with that. People should be clean when they leave the house.
2. Post shower moisturizing: Moisturize your whole body; even better if you can supplement with body oil. Focus on your neck and feet as they are often neglected! Look, I am really big on moisturizing because I'm prone to dry skin and especially this time of year I'm religious about it. But this is none of your business. If you are noticing dry skin on someone's neck, you are standing too close to them. Back up and stop being so nosy.
3. Dental Hygiene: Brush and floss your teeth at least twice a day! Pro Tip: use a waterpick! If your teeth are discolored, teeth whitening definitely helps freshen up your smile. Flossing once a day is fine. Waterpicks can be helpful but do what works for you. But OP if you don't like discolored teeth, keep it to yourself. First of all, most people don't know what the natural color of teeth is anymore because whitening is so common -- a lot of people's normal teeth will read as "discolored" because we are conditioned by Hollywood super white veneers to think off-white looks "dirty." Teeth whitening is not a hygiene issue. It's an aesthetic preference. None of your business.
4. Trim stray hairs. Have neat and clean eyebrows, no stray hairs peeking from under your nose! This is also largely an aesthetic preference. Older people in particular often have more hair in the noses and ears. Judging them for that is a poor reflection on you. This can be a preference you have for romantic partners but just expecting all people you interact with to really be getting in there with the trimmers is too much. Some people will have stray hairs, bushy eyebrows, etc. Deal with it.
5. Skin care. Invest in quality skincare so your skin is clear and healthy with no obvious blemishes. This is mostly just classist. "Invest in quality skincare"? Honestly, **** off. I used to have bad acne and it was a hormonal issue and there was nothing I could do. I now have perfect skin AND can afford to spend extra money on stuff to make my skin look really nice but I NEVER judge people with bad skin. No one wants to have bad skin and often people have no control over it. It took me years to address my acne. I had good hygiene the whole time. I'm sorry you don't how it looks, I don't like your attitude. So I guess we're even.
6. Hair. Stay current on your haircuts! You don't need to have a lavish hairdo but keep hair neat and styled so it looks presentable and not like you just got out of bed. This is another style choice. If someone's hair is clean, it's none of your business how it is styled. You can argue that women with long hair need to trim it or keep it contained so it doesn't get in people's food -- that' a hygiene issue. But otherwise, not your business. Don't like someone's messy bun? Tough. Maybe she thinks your perfectly coifed bob is too severe and high maintenance. It's a style disagreement, not hygiene.
7. Clean clothing. Wear clean and pressed clothing that fit you well! Clean clothes, yes. "Pressed" -- only if they need it. A lot of people wear clothes that don't. Athleisure is so common now. If I saw someone in a wrinkled outfit at a more formal event, I would assume they were having a hard time. But it's not a hygiene issue. Cut people some slack. You sound like you would freak out if somone showed up in khakis without a firm crease down the front. Unclench.
8. Nails. Nothing is worse than gross nails! Keep them trimmed and short. Either wear no polish or keep current with your manicures so there is no chipping. Again, half of this is hygiene (short and clean nails) and half is not -- stop staring at people nail polish so close that you can see chips or whatever. Some people care about that and some don't You need to just let this go.

The title of this thread is Basic Hygiene and Grooming.

I think OP's standards are too high for "basic grooming." Like clean teeth and address breath issues -- yes. Whitening teeth? Eh, I think it looks better but I don't consider someone "ungroomed" if they don't whiten their teeth. I also think OP sounds uptight about some of this stuff. Like the way she describes her standards for hair make it sound like she expects people hair to be neat as a pin. But a messy bun is actually pretty on trend these days. So is a kind of wavy bedhead look. I see people who are well groomed with these hairstyles all the time -- it's clearly how they want their hair to look.

Demanding people "press" their clothes in 2025 makes you sound insane. Same with the phrase "invest in quality skincare." I actually love "investing" in skin care but that should not be a basic grooming standard. Basic grooming standards mean your face is clean with maybe minimal makeup (if female) and any major issues (dryness, blemishes) addressed if not resolved. I don't think basic grooming requires someone to be investing in a detailed skincare regimen.

OP sounds super controlling. There are standards you have for yourself, standards you have for a significant other or child, standards you have for friends, and then there's what you can expect just random people you encounter each day to do. The standards for the last group are much lower but OP doesn't seem to get this. You cannot control people that much. You are not going to get "trimmed and plucked eyebrows" to become a universal grooming standard. You just aren't. Let it go.

I agree with OP that clothes should be ironed. I rarely wear athleisure, but when I do, it’s ironed. I don’t understand the obsession with wearing wrinkled clothes.

I had a great aunt who used to iron underwear. But this was in the 1950s. Thank god customs evolve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're missing how classist you are. Not everyone can afford to "press" their clothes, and not everyone can afford a Waterpik. People are doing the best they can. Try judging people for their personality rather than their appearance.

She’s an ugly POS. She is what she is, and she is hated for sure by all and sundry in her real offline life. This isn’t an innocuous just DCUM being stupid DCUM thread, its repugnant.

[Anonymous]

I don't even own an iron. If you fold or hang your clothes right as they come from the dryer, they don't really get wrinkly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're missing how classist you are. Not everyone can afford to "press" their clothes, and not everyone can afford a Waterpik. People are doing the best they can. Try judging people for their personality rather than their appearance.

Steamers and irons are cheap!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're missing how classist you are. Not everyone can afford to "press" their clothes, and not everyone can afford a Waterpik. People are doing the best they can. Try judging people for their personality rather than their appearance.

Steamers and irons are cheap!

+1
You can buy an iron for $20. People are just making silly excuses at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you're missing tolerance and compassion.

Stop noticing everyone else's supremely minor imperfection (stray hairs, really?) and start working on your own hugely glaring issues.

+1 wtf

No one is grooming to please you, lady.