Basic Hygiene and Grooming for Social Presentation 101

[Anonymous]

You can buy a cheap iron for around $20 at any big box discount store. However, they don’t last very long, maybe a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Shower daily if not twice a day if you work out. Instead of dictating how often people should shower, just say that people should shower before interacting with others. Some people shower less if they are just home alone and I see no problem with that. People should be clean when they leave the house.
2. Post shower moisturizing: Moisturize your whole body; even better if you can supplement with body oil. Focus on your neck and feet as they are often neglected! Look, I am really big on moisturizing because I'm prone to dry skin and especially this time of year I'm religious about it. But this is none of your business. If you are noticing dry skin on someone's neck, you are standing too close to them. Back up and stop being so nosy.
3. Dental Hygiene: Brush and floss your teeth at least twice a day! Pro Tip: use a waterpick! If your teeth are discolored, teeth whitening definitely helps freshen up your smile. Flossing once a day is fine. Waterpicks can be helpful but do what works for you. But OP if you don't like discolored teeth, keep it to yourself. First of all, most people don't know what the natural color of teeth is anymore because whitening is so common -- a lot of people's normal teeth will read as "discolored" because we are conditioned by Hollywood super white veneers to think off-white looks "dirty." Teeth whitening is not a hygiene issue. It's an aesthetic preference. None of your business.
4. Trim stray hairs. Have neat and clean eyebrows, no stray hairs peeking from under your nose! This is also largely an aesthetic preference. Older people in particular often have more hair in the noses and ears. Judging them for that is a poor reflection on you. This can be a preference you have for romantic partners but just expecting all people you interact with to really be getting in there with the trimmers is too much. Some people will have stray hairs, bushy eyebrows, etc. Deal with it.
5. Skin care. Invest in quality skincare so your skin is clear and healthy with no obvious blemishes. This is mostly just classist. "Invest in quality skincare"? Honestly, **** off. I used to have bad acne and it was a hormonal issue and there was nothing I could do. I now have perfect skin AND can afford to spend extra money on stuff to make my skin look really nice but I NEVER judge people with bad skin. No one wants to have bad skin and often people have no control over it. It took me years to address my acne. I had good hygiene the whole time. I'm sorry you don't how it looks, I don't like your attitude. So I guess we're even.
6. Hair. Stay current on your haircuts! You don't need to have a lavish hairdo but keep hair neat and styled so it looks presentable and not like you just got out of bed. This is another style choice. If someone's hair is clean, it's none of your business how it is styled. You can argue that women with long hair need to trim it or keep it contained so it doesn't get in people's food -- that' a hygiene issue. But otherwise, not your business. Don't like someone's messy bun? Tough. Maybe she thinks your perfectly coifed bob is too severe and high maintenance. It's a style disagreement, not hygiene.
7. Clean clothing. Wear clean and pressed clothing that fit you well! Clean clothes, yes. "Pressed" -- only if they need it. A lot of people wear clothes that don't. Athleisure is so common now. If I saw someone in a wrinkled outfit at a more formal event, I would assume they were having a hard time. But it's not a hygiene issue. Cut people some slack. You sound like you would freak out if somone showed up in khakis without a firm crease down the front. Unclench.
8. Nails. Nothing is worse than gross nails! Keep them trimmed and short. Either wear no polish or keep current with your manicures so there is no chipping. Again, half of this is hygiene (short and clean nails) and half is not -- stop staring at people nail polish so close that you can see chips or whatever. Some people care about that and some don't You need to just let this go.

The title of this thread is Basic Hygiene and Grooming.

I think OP's standards are too high for "basic grooming." Like clean teeth and address breath issues -- yes. Whitening teeth? Eh, I think it looks better but I don't consider someone "ungroomed" if they don't whiten their teeth. I also think OP sounds uptight about some of this stuff. Like the way she describes her standards for hair make it sound like she expects people hair to be neat as a pin. But a messy bun is actually pretty on trend these days. So is a kind of wavy bedhead look. I see people who are well groomed with these hairstyles all the time -- it's clearly how they want their hair to look.

Demanding people "press" their clothes in 2025 makes you sound insane. Same with the phrase "invest in quality skincare." I actually love "investing" in skin care but that should not be a basic grooming standard. Basic grooming standards mean your face is clean with maybe minimal makeup (if female) and any major issues (dryness, blemishes) addressed if not resolved. I don't think basic grooming requires someone to be investing in a detailed skincare regimen.

OP sounds super controlling. There are standards you have for yourself, standards you have for a significant other or child, standards you have for friends, and then there's what you can expect just random people you encounter each day to do. The standards for the last group are much lower but OP doesn't seem to get this. You cannot control people that much. You are not going to get "trimmed and plucked eyebrows" to become a universal grooming standard. You just aren't. Let it go.

I agree with OP that clothes should be ironed. I rarely wear athleisure, but when I do, it’s ironed. I don’t understand the obsession with wearing wrinkled clothes.

Is this sarcasm? Please say it is.

No, it’s not sarcasm. I don’t wear wrinkled clothing, not even when working from home. Ironing one’s clothes is not difficult to do.

I work from home too, and am wearing the same nightgown I've been wearing since last Thursday. I don't own an iron. Ironing your clothes is difficult to do if you can't afford an iron and don't have flat surfaces to iron on, and have never learned to iron.

Ironing clothes is not rocket science. Clothes are ironed on an ironing board; that is the flat surface. You can buy a full size ironing board or a tabletop ironing board which is perfect for a dorm or small apartment.

Here is a video that shows how to iron a dress shirt. Practice makes perfect. 🤩


https://youtu.be/z91MtZpcsKY?si=QqkjJzSluq6ognhr

Who is arguing that a dress shirt doesn't need to be ironed? However, ironing athleisure for working from home is needed a waste of time, energy and santiy. Are we talking about a cotton t-shirt and leggings here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Shower daily if not twice a day if you work out. Instead of dictating how often people should shower, just say that people should shower before interacting with others. Some people shower less if they are just home alone and I see no problem with that. People should be clean when they leave the house.
2. Post shower moisturizing: Moisturize your whole body; even better if you can supplement with body oil. Focus on your neck and feet as they are often neglected! Look, I am really big on moisturizing because I'm prone to dry skin and especially this time of year I'm religious about it. But this is none of your business. If you are noticing dry skin on someone's neck, you are standing too close to them. Back up and stop being so nosy.
3. Dental Hygiene: Brush and floss your teeth at least twice a day! Pro Tip: use a waterpick! If your teeth are discolored, teeth whitening definitely helps freshen up your smile. Flossing once a day is fine. Waterpicks can be helpful but do what works for you. But OP if you don't like discolored teeth, keep it to yourself. First of all, most people don't know what the natural color of teeth is anymore because whitening is so common -- a lot of people's normal teeth will read as "discolored" because we are conditioned by Hollywood super white veneers to think off-white looks "dirty." Teeth whitening is not a hygiene issue. It's an aesthetic preference. None of your business.
4. Trim stray hairs. Have neat and clean eyebrows, no stray hairs peeking from under your nose! This is also largely an aesthetic preference. Older people in particular often have more hair in the noses and ears. Judging them for that is a poor reflection on you. This can be a preference you have for romantic partners but just expecting all people you interact with to really be getting in there with the trimmers is too much. Some people will have stray hairs, bushy eyebrows, etc. Deal with it.
5. Skin care. Invest in quality skincare so your skin is clear and healthy with no obvious blemishes. This is mostly just classist. "Invest in quality skincare"? Honestly, **** off. I used to have bad acne and it was a hormonal issue and there was nothing I could do. I now have perfect skin AND can afford to spend extra money on stuff to make my skin look really nice but I NEVER judge people with bad skin. No one wants to have bad skin and often people have no control over it. It took me years to address my acne. I had good hygiene the whole time. I'm sorry you don't how it looks, I don't like your attitude. So I guess we're even.
6. Hair. Stay current on your haircuts! You don't need to have a lavish hairdo but keep hair neat and styled so it looks presentable and not like you just got out of bed. This is another style choice. If someone's hair is clean, it's none of your business how it is styled. You can argue that women with long hair need to trim it or keep it contained so it doesn't get in people's food -- that' a hygiene issue. But otherwise, not your business. Don't like someone's messy bun? Tough. Maybe she thinks your perfectly coifed bob is too severe and high maintenance. It's a style disagreement, not hygiene.
7. Clean clothing. Wear clean and pressed clothing that fit you well! Clean clothes, yes. "Pressed" -- only if they need it. A lot of people wear clothes that don't. Athleisure is so common now. If I saw someone in a wrinkled outfit at a more formal event, I would assume they were having a hard time. But it's not a hygiene issue. Cut people some slack. You sound like you would freak out if somone showed up in khakis without a firm crease down the front. Unclench.
8. Nails. Nothing is worse than gross nails! Keep them trimmed and short. Either wear no polish or keep current with your manicures so there is no chipping. Again, half of this is hygiene (short and clean nails) and half is not -- stop staring at people nail polish so close that you can see chips or whatever. Some people care about that and some don't You need to just let this go.

The title of this thread is Basic Hygiene and Grooming.

I think OP's standards are too high for "basic grooming." Like clean teeth and address breath issues -- yes. Whitening teeth? Eh, I think it looks better but I don't consider someone "ungroomed" if they don't whiten their teeth. I also think OP sounds uptight about some of this stuff. Like the way she describes her standards for hair make it sound like she expects people hair to be neat as a pin. But a messy bun is actually pretty on trend these days. So is a kind of wavy bedhead look. I see people who are well groomed with these hairstyles all the time -- it's clearly how they want their hair to look.

Demanding people "press" their clothes in 2025 makes you sound insane. Same with the phrase "invest in quality skincare." I actually love "investing" in skin care but that should not be a basic grooming standard. Basic grooming standards mean your face is clean with maybe minimal makeup (if female) and any major issues (dryness, blemishes) addressed if not resolved. I don't think basic grooming requires someone to be investing in a detailed skincare regimen.

OP sounds super controlling. There are standards you have for yourself, standards you have for a significant other or child, standards you have for friends, and then there's what you can expect just random people you encounter each day to do. The standards for the last group are much lower but OP doesn't seem to get this. You cannot control people that much. You are not going to get "trimmed and plucked eyebrows" to become a universal grooming standard. You just aren't. Let it go.

I agree with OP that clothes should be ironed. I rarely wear athleisure, but when I do, it’s ironed. I don’t understand the obsession with wearing wrinkled clothes.

Is this sarcasm? Please say it is.

No, it’s not sarcasm. I don’t wear wrinkled clothing, not even when working from home. Ironing one’s clothes is not difficult to do.

I work from home too, and am wearing the same nightgown I've been wearing since last Thursday. I don't own an iron. Ironing your clothes is difficult to do if you can't afford an iron and don't have flat surfaces to iron on, and have never learned to iron.

Ironing clothes is not rocket science. Clothes are ironed on an ironing board; that is the flat surface. You can buy a full size ironing board or a tabletop ironing board which is perfect for a dorm or small apartment.

Here is a video that shows how to iron a dress shirt. Practice makes perfect. 🤩


https://youtu.be/z91MtZpcsKY?si=QqkjJzSluq6ognhr

Who is arguing that a dress shirt doesn't need to be ironed? However, ironing athleisure for working from home is needed a waste of time, energy and santiy. Are we talking about a cotton t-shirt and leggings here?

Like I said, I iron everything before I wear it. The previous poster stated that he/she/they did not know how to iron, so the video will be helpful for them. The same skills used to iron a dress shirt are used to iron most other garments.

[Anonymous]

My parents divorced when I was young, so my mother didn’t have much help at home. That meant my sister and I had to pitch in. Part of pitching in was ironing my mother’s clothes as well as our own. I can’t help but wonder how many of you have teenage children that could assist you in the same way. It isn’t abuse or neglect to assign these tasks to your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Shower daily if not twice a day if you work out. Instead of dictating how often people should shower, just say that people should shower before interacting with others. Some people shower less if they are just home alone and I see no problem with that. People should be clean when they leave the house.
2. Post shower moisturizing: Moisturize your whole body; even better if you can supplement with body oil. Focus on your neck and feet as they are often neglected! Look, I am really big on moisturizing because I'm prone to dry skin and especially this time of year I'm religious about it. But this is none of your business. If you are noticing dry skin on someone's neck, you are standing too close to them. Back up and stop being so nosy.
3. Dental Hygiene: Brush and floss your teeth at least twice a day! Pro Tip: use a waterpick! If your teeth are discolored, teeth whitening definitely helps freshen up your smile. Flossing once a day is fine. Waterpicks can be helpful but do what works for you. But OP if you don't like discolored teeth, keep it to yourself. First of all, most people don't know what the natural color of teeth is anymore because whitening is so common -- a lot of people's normal teeth will read as "discolored" because we are conditioned by Hollywood super white veneers to think off-white looks "dirty." Teeth whitening is not a hygiene issue. It's an aesthetic preference. None of your business.
4. Trim stray hairs. Have neat and clean eyebrows, no stray hairs peeking from under your nose! This is also largely an aesthetic preference. Older people in particular often have more hair in the noses and ears. Judging them for that is a poor reflection on you. This can be a preference you have for romantic partners but just expecting all people you interact with to really be getting in there with the trimmers is too much. Some people will have stray hairs, bushy eyebrows, etc. Deal with it.
5. Skin care. Invest in quality skincare so your skin is clear and healthy with no obvious blemishes. This is mostly just classist. "Invest in quality skincare"? Honestly, **** off. I used to have bad acne and it was a hormonal issue and there was nothing I could do. I now have perfect skin AND can afford to spend extra money on stuff to make my skin look really nice but I NEVER judge people with bad skin. No one wants to have bad skin and often people have no control over it. It took me years to address my acne. I had good hygiene the whole time. I'm sorry you don't how it looks, I don't like your attitude. So I guess we're even.
6. Hair. Stay current on your haircuts! You don't need to have a lavish hairdo but keep hair neat and styled so it looks presentable and not like you just got out of bed. This is another style choice. If someone's hair is clean, it's none of your business how it is styled. You can argue that women with long hair need to trim it or keep it contained so it doesn't get in people's food -- that' a hygiene issue. But otherwise, not your business. Don't like someone's messy bun? Tough. Maybe she thinks your perfectly coifed bob is too severe and high maintenance. It's a style disagreement, not hygiene.
7. Clean clothing. Wear clean and pressed clothing that fit you well! Clean clothes, yes. "Pressed" -- only if they need it. A lot of people wear clothes that don't. Athleisure is so common now. If I saw someone in a wrinkled outfit at a more formal event, I would assume they were having a hard time. But it's not a hygiene issue. Cut people some slack. You sound like you would freak out if somone showed up in khakis without a firm crease down the front. Unclench.
8. Nails. Nothing is worse than gross nails! Keep them trimmed and short. Either wear no polish or keep current with your manicures so there is no chipping. Again, half of this is hygiene (short and clean nails) and half is not -- stop staring at people nail polish so close that you can see chips or whatever. Some people care about that and some don't You need to just let this go.

The title of this thread is Basic Hygiene and Grooming.

I think OP's standards are too high for "basic grooming." Like clean teeth and address breath issues -- yes. Whitening teeth? Eh, I think it looks better but I don't consider someone "ungroomed" if they don't whiten their teeth. I also think OP sounds uptight about some of this stuff. Like the way she describes her standards for hair make it sound like she expects people hair to be neat as a pin. But a messy bun is actually pretty on trend these days. So is a kind of wavy bedhead look. I see people who are well groomed with these hairstyles all the time -- it's clearly how they want their hair to look.

Demanding people "press" their clothes in 2025 makes you sound insane. Same with the phrase "invest in quality skincare." I actually love "investing" in skin care but that should not be a basic grooming standard. Basic grooming standards mean your face is clean with maybe minimal makeup (if female) and any major issues (dryness, blemishes) addressed if not resolved. I don't think basic grooming requires someone to be investing in a detailed skincare regimen.

OP sounds super controlling. There are standards you have for yourself, standards you have for a significant other or child, standards you have for friends, and then there's what you can expect just random people you encounter each day to do. The standards for the last group are much lower but OP doesn't seem to get this. You cannot control people that much. You are not going to get "trimmed and plucked eyebrows" to become a universal grooming standard. You just aren't. Let it go.

I agree with OP that clothes should be ironed. I rarely wear athleisure, but when I do, it’s ironed. I don’t understand the obsession with wearing wrinkled clothes.

Is this sarcasm? Please say it is.

No, it’s not sarcasm. I don’t wear wrinkled clothing, not even when working from home. Ironing one’s clothes is not difficult to do.

I work from home too, and am wearing the same nightgown I've been wearing since last Thursday. I don't own an iron. Ironing your clothes is difficult to do if you can't afford an iron and don't have flat surfaces to iron on, and have never learned to iron.

Ironing clothes is not rocket science. Clothes are ironed on an ironing board; that is the flat surface. You can buy a full size ironing board or a tabletop ironing board which is perfect for a dorm or small apartment.

Here is a video that shows how to iron a dress shirt. Practice makes perfect. 🤩

https://youtu.be/z91MtZpcsKY?si=QqkjJzSluq6ognhr

Hey Smuggy, I wasn't saying I don't know how to iron. I'm saying not everyone knows how to. I don't own any dress shirts because I have no need for them. I don't buy clothes that need ironing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Shower daily if not twice a day if you work out. Instead of dictating how often people should shower, just say that people should shower before interacting with others. Some people shower less if they are just home alone and I see no problem with that. People should be clean when they leave the house.
2. Post shower moisturizing: Moisturize your whole body; even better if you can supplement with body oil. Focus on your neck and feet as they are often neglected! Look, I am really big on moisturizing because I'm prone to dry skin and especially this time of year I'm religious about it. But this is none of your business. If you are noticing dry skin on someone's neck, you are standing too close to them. Back up and stop being so nosy.
3. Dental Hygiene: Brush and floss your teeth at least twice a day! Pro Tip: use a waterpick! If your teeth are discolored, teeth whitening definitely helps freshen up your smile. Flossing once a day is fine. Waterpicks can be helpful but do what works for you. But OP if you don't like discolored teeth, keep it to yourself. First of all, most people don't know what the natural color of teeth is anymore because whitening is so common -- a lot of people's normal teeth will read as "discolored" because we are conditioned by Hollywood super white veneers to think off-white looks "dirty." Teeth whitening is not a hygiene issue. It's an aesthetic preference. None of your business.
4. Trim stray hairs. Have neat and clean eyebrows, no stray hairs peeking from under your nose! This is also largely an aesthetic preference. Older people in particular often have more hair in the noses and ears. Judging them for that is a poor reflection on you. This can be a preference you have for romantic partners but just expecting all people you interact with to really be getting in there with the trimmers is too much. Some people will have stray hairs, bushy eyebrows, etc. Deal with it.
5. Skin care. Invest in quality skincare so your skin is clear and healthy with no obvious blemishes. This is mostly just classist. "Invest in quality skincare"? Honestly, **** off. I used to have bad acne and it was a hormonal issue and there was nothing I could do. I now have perfect skin AND can afford to spend extra money on stuff to make my skin look really nice but I NEVER judge people with bad skin. No one wants to have bad skin and often people have no control over it. It took me years to address my acne. I had good hygiene the whole time. I'm sorry you don't how it looks, I don't like your attitude. So I guess we're even.
6. Hair. Stay current on your haircuts! You don't need to have a lavish hairdo but keep hair neat and styled so it looks presentable and not like you just got out of bed. This is another style choice. If someone's hair is clean, it's none of your business how it is styled. You can argue that women with long hair need to trim it or keep it contained so it doesn't get in people's food -- that' a hygiene issue. But otherwise, not your business. Don't like someone's messy bun? Tough. Maybe she thinks your perfectly coifed bob is too severe and high maintenance. It's a style disagreement, not hygiene.
7. Clean clothing. Wear clean and pressed clothing that fit you well! Clean clothes, yes. "Pressed" -- only if they need it. A lot of people wear clothes that don't. Athleisure is so common now. If I saw someone in a wrinkled outfit at a more formal event, I would assume they were having a hard time. But it's not a hygiene issue. Cut people some slack. You sound like you would freak out if somone showed up in khakis without a firm crease down the front. Unclench.
8. Nails. Nothing is worse than gross nails! Keep them trimmed and short. Either wear no polish or keep current with your manicures so there is no chipping. Again, half of this is hygiene (short and clean nails) and half is not -- stop staring at people nail polish so close that you can see chips or whatever. Some people care about that and some don't You need to just let this go.

The title of this thread is Basic Hygiene and Grooming.

I think OP's standards are too high for "basic grooming." Like clean teeth and address breath issues -- yes. Whitening teeth? Eh, I think it looks better but I don't consider someone "ungroomed" if they don't whiten their teeth. I also think OP sounds uptight about some of this stuff. Like the way she describes her standards for hair make it sound like she expects people hair to be neat as a pin. But a messy bun is actually pretty on trend these days. So is a kind of wavy bedhead look. I see people who are well groomed with these hairstyles all the time -- it's clearly how they want their hair to look.

Demanding people "press" their clothes in 2025 makes you sound insane. Same with the phrase "invest in quality skincare." I actually love "investing" in skin care but that should not be a basic grooming standard. Basic grooming standards mean your face is clean with maybe minimal makeup (if female) and any major issues (dryness, blemishes) addressed if not resolved. I don't think basic grooming requires someone to be investing in a detailed skincare regimen.

OP sounds super controlling. There are standards you have for yourself, standards you have for a significant other or child, standards you have for friends, and then there's what you can expect just random people you encounter each day to do. The standards for the last group are much lower but OP doesn't seem to get this. You cannot control people that much. You are not going to get "trimmed and plucked eyebrows" to become a universal grooming standard. You just aren't. Let it go.

I agree with OP that clothes should be ironed. I rarely wear athleisure, but when I do, it’s ironed. I don’t understand the obsession with wearing wrinkled clothes.

Is this sarcasm? Please say it is.

No, it’s not sarcasm. I don’t wear wrinkled clothing, not even when working from home. Ironing one’s clothes is not difficult to do.

I work from home too, and am wearing the same nightgown I've been wearing since last Thursday. I don't own an iron. Ironing your clothes is difficult to do if you can't afford an iron and don't have flat surfaces to iron on, and have never learned to iron.

Wtf?!

What? I see nobody, so I don't change my clothes much. I shower when I can smell myself, or if I'm going to be around people. It saves me money since it costs $5 per load of laundry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Shower daily if not twice a day if you work out. Instead of dictating how often people should shower, just say that people should shower before interacting with others. Some people shower less if they are just home alone and I see no problem with that. People should be clean when they leave the house.
2. Post shower moisturizing: Moisturize your whole body; even better if you can supplement with body oil. Focus on your neck and feet as they are often neglected! Look, I am really big on moisturizing because I'm prone to dry skin and especially this time of year I'm religious about it. But this is none of your business. If you are noticing dry skin on someone's neck, you are standing too close to them. Back up and stop being so nosy.
3. Dental Hygiene: Brush and floss your teeth at least twice a day! Pro Tip: use a waterpick! If your teeth are discolored, teeth whitening definitely helps freshen up your smile. Flossing once a day is fine. Waterpicks can be helpful but do what works for you. But OP if you don't like discolored teeth, keep it to yourself. First of all, most people don't know what the natural color of teeth is anymore because whitening is so common -- a lot of people's normal teeth will read as "discolored" because we are conditioned by Hollywood super white veneers to think off-white looks "dirty." Teeth whitening is not a hygiene issue. It's an aesthetic preference. None of your business.
4. Trim stray hairs. Have neat and clean eyebrows, no stray hairs peeking from under your nose! This is also largely an aesthetic preference. Older people in particular often have more hair in the noses and ears. Judging them for that is a poor reflection on you. This can be a preference you have for romantic partners but just expecting all people you interact with to really be getting in there with the trimmers is too much. Some people will have stray hairs, bushy eyebrows, etc. Deal with it.
5. Skin care. Invest in quality skincare so your skin is clear and healthy with no obvious blemishes. This is mostly just classist. "Invest in quality skincare"? Honestly, **** off. I used to have bad acne and it was a hormonal issue and there was nothing I could do. I now have perfect skin AND can afford to spend extra money on stuff to make my skin look really nice but I NEVER judge people with bad skin. No one wants to have bad skin and often people have no control over it. It took me years to address my acne. I had good hygiene the whole time. I'm sorry you don't how it looks, I don't like your attitude. So I guess we're even.
6. Hair. Stay current on your haircuts! You don't need to have a lavish hairdo but keep hair neat and styled so it looks presentable and not like you just got out of bed. This is another style choice. If someone's hair is clean, it's none of your business how it is styled. You can argue that women with long hair need to trim it or keep it contained so it doesn't get in people's food -- that' a hygiene issue. But otherwise, not your business. Don't like someone's messy bun? Tough. Maybe she thinks your perfectly coifed bob is too severe and high maintenance. It's a style disagreement, not hygiene.
7. Clean clothing. Wear clean and pressed clothing that fit you well! Clean clothes, yes. "Pressed" -- only if they need it. A lot of people wear clothes that don't. Athleisure is so common now. If I saw someone in a wrinkled outfit at a more formal event, I would assume they were having a hard time. But it's not a hygiene issue. Cut people some slack. You sound like you would freak out if somone showed up in khakis without a firm crease down the front. Unclench.
8. Nails. Nothing is worse than gross nails! Keep them trimmed and short. Either wear no polish or keep current with your manicures so there is no chipping. Again, half of this is hygiene (short and clean nails) and half is not -- stop staring at people nail polish so close that you can see chips or whatever. Some people care about that and some don't You need to just let this go.

The title of this thread is Basic Hygiene and Grooming.

I think OP's standards are too high for "basic grooming." Like clean teeth and address breath issues -- yes. Whitening teeth? Eh, I think it looks better but I don't consider someone "ungroomed" if they don't whiten their teeth. I also think OP sounds uptight about some of this stuff. Like the way she describes her standards for hair make it sound like she expects people hair to be neat as a pin. But a messy bun is actually pretty on trend these days. So is a kind of wavy bedhead look. I see people who are well groomed with these hairstyles all the time -- it's clearly how they want their hair to look.

Demanding people "press" their clothes in 2025 makes you sound insane. Same with the phrase "invest in quality skincare." I actually love "investing" in skin care but that should not be a basic grooming standard. Basic grooming standards mean your face is clean with maybe minimal makeup (if female) and any major issues (dryness, blemishes) addressed if not resolved. I don't think basic grooming requires someone to be investing in a detailed skincare regimen.

OP sounds super controlling. There are standards you have for yourself, standards you have for a significant other or child, standards you have for friends, and then there's what you can expect just random people you encounter each day to do. The standards for the last group are much lower but OP doesn't seem to get this. You cannot control people that much. You are not going to get "trimmed and plucked eyebrows" to become a universal grooming standard. You just aren't. Let it go.

I agree with OP that clothes should be ironed. I rarely wear athleisure, but when I do, it’s ironed. I don’t understand the obsession with wearing wrinkled clothes.

Is this sarcasm? Please say it is.

No, it’s not sarcasm. I don’t wear wrinkled clothing, not even when working from home. Ironing one’s clothes is not difficult to do.

I work from home too, and am wearing the same nightgown I've been wearing since last Thursday. I don't own an iron. Ironing your clothes is difficult to do if you can't afford an iron and don't have flat surfaces to iron on, and have never learned to iron.

Ironing clothes is not rocket science. Clothes are ironed on an ironing board; that is the flat surface. You can buy a full size ironing board or a tabletop ironing board which is perfect for a dorm or small apartment.

Here is a video that shows how to iron a dress shirt. Practice makes perfect. 🤩


https://youtu.be/z91MtZpcsKY?si=QqkjJzSluq6ognhr

Smuggy here,

The comment and video was posted in response to the bolded language above. If you didn’t post it, why are you so triggered?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Shower daily if not twice a day if you work out. Instead of dictating how often people should shower, just say that people should shower before interacting with others. Some people shower less if they are just home alone and I see no problem with that. People should be clean when they leave the house.
2. Post shower moisturizing: Moisturize your whole body; even better if you can supplement with body oil. Focus on your neck and feet as they are often neglected! Look, I am really big on moisturizing because I'm prone to dry skin and especially this time of year I'm religious about it. But this is none of your business. If you are noticing dry skin on someone's neck, you are standing too close to them. Back up and stop being so nosy.
3. Dental Hygiene: Brush and floss your teeth at least twice a day! Pro Tip: use a waterpick! If your teeth are discolored, teeth whitening definitely helps freshen up your smile. Flossing once a day is fine. Waterpicks can be helpful but do what works for you. But OP if you don't like discolored teeth, keep it to yourself. First of all, most people don't know what the natural color of teeth is anymore because whitening is so common -- a lot of people's normal teeth will read as "discolored" because we are conditioned by Hollywood super white veneers to think off-white looks "dirty." Teeth whitening is not a hygiene issue. It's an aesthetic preference. None of your business.
4. Trim stray hairs. Have neat and clean eyebrows, no stray hairs peeking from under your nose! This is also largely an aesthetic preference. Older people in particular often have more hair in the noses and ears. Judging them for that is a poor reflection on you. This can be a preference you have for romantic partners but just expecting all people you interact with to really be getting in there with the trimmers is too much. Some people will have stray hairs, bushy eyebrows, etc. Deal with it.
5. Skin care. Invest in quality skincare so your skin is clear and healthy with no obvious blemishes. This is mostly just classist. "Invest in quality skincare"? Honestly, **** off. I used to have bad acne and it was a hormonal issue and there was nothing I could do. I now have perfect skin AND can afford to spend extra money on stuff to make my skin look really nice but I NEVER judge people with bad skin. No one wants to have bad skin and often people have no control over it. It took me years to address my acne. I had good hygiene the whole time. I'm sorry you don't how it looks, I don't like your attitude. So I guess we're even.
6. Hair. Stay current on your haircuts! You don't need to have a lavish hairdo but keep hair neat and styled so it looks presentable and not like you just got out of bed. This is another style choice. If someone's hair is clean, it's none of your business how it is styled. You can argue that women with long hair need to trim it or keep it contained so it doesn't get in people's food -- that' a hygiene issue. But otherwise, not your business. Don't like someone's messy bun? Tough. Maybe she thinks your perfectly coifed bob is too severe and high maintenance. It's a style disagreement, not hygiene.
7. Clean clothing. Wear clean and pressed clothing that fit you well! Clean clothes, yes. "Pressed" -- only if they need it. A lot of people wear clothes that don't. Athleisure is so common now. If I saw someone in a wrinkled outfit at a more formal event, I would assume they were having a hard time. But it's not a hygiene issue. Cut people some slack. You sound like you would freak out if somone showed up in khakis without a firm crease down the front. Unclench.
8. Nails. Nothing is worse than gross nails! Keep them trimmed and short. Either wear no polish or keep current with your manicures so there is no chipping. Again, half of this is hygiene (short and clean nails) and half is not -- stop staring at people nail polish so close that you can see chips or whatever. Some people care about that and some don't You need to just let this go.

The title of this thread is Basic Hygiene and Grooming.

I think OP's standards are too high for "basic grooming." Like clean teeth and address breath issues -- yes. Whitening teeth? Eh, I think it looks better but I don't consider someone "ungroomed" if they don't whiten their teeth. I also think OP sounds uptight about some of this stuff. Like the way she describes her standards for hair make it sound like she expects people hair to be neat as a pin. But a messy bun is actually pretty on trend these days. So is a kind of wavy bedhead look. I see people who are well groomed with these hairstyles all the time -- it's clearly how they want their hair to look.

Demanding people "press" their clothes in 2025 makes you sound insane. Same with the phrase "invest in quality skincare." I actually love "investing" in skin care but that should not be a basic grooming standard. Basic grooming standards mean your face is clean with maybe minimal makeup (if female) and any major issues (dryness, blemishes) addressed if not resolved. I don't think basic grooming requires someone to be investing in a detailed skincare regimen.

OP sounds super controlling. There are standards you have for yourself, standards you have for a significant other or child, standards you have for friends, and then there's what you can expect just random people you encounter each day to do. The standards for the last group are much lower but OP doesn't seem to get this. You cannot control people that much. You are not going to get "trimmed and plucked eyebrows" to become a universal grooming standard. You just aren't. Let it go.

I agree with OP that clothes should be ironed. I rarely wear athleisure, but when I do, it’s ironed. I don’t understand the obsession with wearing wrinkled clothes.

Is this sarcasm? Please say it is.

No, it’s not sarcasm. I don’t wear wrinkled clothing, not even when working from home. Ironing one’s clothes is not difficult to do.

I work from home too, and am wearing the same nightgown I've been wearing since last Thursday. I don't own an iron. Ironing your clothes is difficult to do if you can't afford an iron and don't have flat surfaces to iron on, and have never learned to iron.

Bolded language above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I iron my clothes, and I have a job and a family. People with various responsibilities have ironed their clothes, for decades. Stop making excuses.

Congrats. No one gives a flying f**k how you choose to spend your time. Most people today do not iron their clothes on a daily basis so you are the outlier here.

Thank you for identifying the problem.

+1 hence our sloppy unkempt populace.

A very unkempt and disheveled populace indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents divorced when I was young, so my mother didn’t have much help at home. That meant my sister and I had to pitch in. Part of pitching in was ironing my mother’s clothes as well as our own. I can’t help but wonder how many of you have teenage children that could assist you in the same way. It isn’t abuse or neglect to assign these tasks to your children.

I also assisted my mother with ironing as a child. We ironed my father's work clothes and all the families dress clothes for church and events. My brothers did not participate in this activity. As an adult I choose to (1) be married to someone who can sort out their own laundry, and (2) to mostly wear clothes that don't need any ironing or can be covered with a few minutes with a steamer or even just hung in the bathroom while I shower. I have taught my kids how to iron but aside from weddings leave it up to them as to when they think it is necessary.

I think it's weird some of you lament a time when women had to spend hours a day performing cleaning, grooming, and hygiene tasks for themselves, their husbands, and their children. Women liberated ourselves, now everyone looks a little sloppier but also I think our lives are better. Sorry you weren't born in the 1940s I guess?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents divorced when I was young, so my mother didn’t have much help at home. That meant my sister and I had to pitch in. Part of pitching in was ironing my mother’s clothes as well as our own. I can’t help but wonder how many of you have teenage children that could assist you in the same way. It isn’t abuse or neglect to assign these tasks to your children.

I also assisted my mother with ironing as a child. We ironed my father's work clothes and all the families dress clothes for church and events. My brothers did not participate in this activity. As an adult I choose to (1) be married to someone who can sort out their own laundry, and (2) to mostly wear clothes that don't need any ironing or can be covered with a few minutes with a steamer or even just hung in the bathroom while I shower. I have taught my kids how to iron but aside from weddings leave it up to them as to when they think it is necessary.

I think it's weird some of you lament a time when women had to spend hours a day performing cleaning, grooming, and hygiene tasks for themselves, their husbands, and their children. Women liberated ourselves, now everyone looks a little sloppier but also I think our lives are better. Sorry you weren't born in the 1940s I guess?

Actually, the point of my post was to point out that my mother didn’t perform all of the cleaning and grooming chores in our household. How did you miss that?

So many of the comments in this thread are from people who claim they don’t have time to iron their clothes. Fine. Assign that task to your teenage children of all genders. Or assign that task to your husband.

[Anonymous]

I really don't care/take much notice in other people's appearance unless extreme, but I agree those are generally good rules. It's a bit of a slippery slope not taking care of oneself and can have a psychological effect. When I look put together (and that doesn't mean fancy, but just ironed, some coordination, jewelry) I feel better about myself. My teens iron their clothes too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really don't care/take much notice in other people's appearance unless extreme, but I agree those are generally good rules. It's a bit of a slippery slope not taking care of oneself and can have a psychological effect. When I look put together (and that doesn't mean fancy, but just ironed, some coordination, jewelry) I feel better about myself. My teens iron their clothes too.

+1,000

[Anonymous]

A lot of these have nothing to do with hygiene, for example getting regular haircuts. I dont like cutting my hair every 6 weeks, and I was blessed with straight hair that doesn't take a ton of styling. I wash it every other day or so and it's sparkling clean, and I make sure to cut it every few months so there arent a ton of split ends, but, again, not really a hygiene issue even if I went longer without a haircut. You seem like an overly retentive, controlling person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of these have nothing to do with hygiene, for example getting regular haircuts. I dont like cutting my hair every 6 weeks, and I was blessed with straight hair that doesn't take a ton of styling. I wash it every other day or so and it's sparkling clean, and I make sure to cut it every few months so there arent a ton of split ends, but, again, not really a hygiene issue even if I went longer without a haircut. You seem like an overly retentive, controlling person.

The topic is Hygiene and Grooming. Hair maintenance definitely is part of grooming.