Anyone transition from big pay/big house/big expense to a low cost, simple, yet fulfilling retirement life?

[Anonymous]

We are also looking toward our retirement plans. Last kid graduates this year so we expect to decide to retire within the next few years.

It isn’t money that gives me pause but rather what will we do with all of our time once we have to plan everything. And I am someone with lots of interests and hobbies.

But on the financial side, we had always planned on having a place at the beach in Delaware and a place in Florida near my SIL. We have a fully paid off house in the DMV and a fully paid off house at the beach in Delaware along with a boat and all of the things we want. But the politics of Florida coupled with the natural disasters has us wondering about Florida. Problem is that we are not fans of the cold, snowy, wet, icy weather so we don’t want to stay here either. Plus even though our house is only about 2100 sq ft, it’s too big for just the two of us. I kind of feel paralyzed when it comes to figuring this out.

And, the past few years have been easy financially so it will be an adjustment going on to a fixed income, though I think we will be fine. We’re starting to reduce spending on family - like not paying for adult kids’ vacations and reducing the size of Christmas. But it will be an adjustment.

Anyway, lots to think about. It’s helpful to hear what others are doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish the people in their 60s and 70s in my neighborhood would downsize so that we could buy one of their big houses. We bought a small house 10 years ago in a lovely neighborhood. Now with a preschooler, an elementary schooler, and both parents WFH we would love more room, but no one is selling. I don't know why the elderly want their 4000 sq. foot houses now that their kids are long gone, but that it seems they don't want to leave them.

probably because moving in a PITA, they have a low mortgage rate, and the new townhomes are almost as expensive as the 4000sf houses.
Unless you are planning on moving south to retire, it's easier just to keep your current home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish the people in their 60s and 70s in my neighborhood would downsize so that we could buy one of their big houses. We bought a small house 10 years ago in a lovely neighborhood. Now with a preschooler, an elementary schooler, and both parents WFH we would love more room, but no one is selling. I don't know why the elderly want their 4000 sq. foot houses now that their kids are long gone, but that it seems they don't want to leave them.

probably because moving in a PITA, they have a low mortgage rate, and the new townhomes are almost as expensive as the 4000sf houses.
Unless you are planning on moving south to retire, it's easier just to keep your current home

And then when they die, get dementia or are otherwise incapacitated, they can leave the cleaning out the big house and moving for their kids to deal with. Very considerate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish the people in their 60s and 70s in my neighborhood would downsize so that we could buy one of their big houses. We bought a small house 10 years ago in a lovely neighborhood. Now with a preschooler, an elementary schooler, and both parents WFH we would love more room, but no one is selling. I don't know why the elderly want their 4000 sq. foot houses now that their kids are long gone, but that it seems they don't want to leave them.

probably because moving in a PITA, they have a low mortgage rate, and the new townhomes are almost as expensive as the 4000sf houses.
Unless you are planning on moving south to retire, it's easier just to keep your current home

And then when they die, get dementia or are otherwise incapacitated, they can leave the cleaning out the big house and moving for their kids to deal with. Very considerate.

DP.. I pushed our ILs to downsize a long time ago, and they refused. Then my FIL got dementia, and moving would've been difficult for them. Then he died, and my MIL got decision paralysis, even though she knew she had to move. Then she fell for the third time, blacked out, and finally made the move to a smaller place.

My parents moved when we all moved out. But, moving out and downsizing is no small feat for people who have lived in their homes for 40 years.

Personally, I cannot wait to downsize, but my problem right now is where do I move to? And a PP is correct. Prices have gone up so much that a nice but smaller condo in a nice area is almost the same price as my large sfh in a good school district. It's hard to move in that case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish the people in their 60s and 70s in my neighborhood would downsize so that we could buy one of their big houses. We bought a small house 10 years ago in a lovely neighborhood. Now with a preschooler, an elementary schooler, and both parents WFH we would love more room, but no one is selling. I don't know why the elderly want their 4000 sq. foot houses now that their kids are long gone, but that it seems they don't want to leave them.

probably because moving in a PITA, they have a low mortgage rate, and the new townhomes are almost as expensive as the 4000sf houses.
Unless you are planning on moving south to retire, it's easier just to keep your current home

And then when they die, get dementia or are otherwise incapacitated, they can leave the cleaning out the big house and moving for their kids to deal with. Very considerate.

DP.. I pushed our ILs to downsize a long time ago, and they refused. Then my FIL got dementia, and moving would've been difficult for them. Then he died, and my MIL got decision paralysis, even though she knew she had to move. Then she fell for the third time, blacked out, and finally made the move to a smaller place.

My parents moved when we all moved out. But, moving out and downsizing is no small feat for people who have lived in their homes for 40 years.

Personally, I cannot wait to downsize, but my problem right now is where do I move to? And a PP is correct. Prices have gone up so much that a nice but smaller condo in a nice area is almost the same price as my large sfh in a good school district. It's hard to move in that case.

There is no such thing as a good school district. It’s code for wealthy and white. Why leave your home? It should be paid off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish the people in their 60s and 70s in my neighborhood would downsize so that we could buy one of their big houses. We bought a small house 10 years ago in a lovely neighborhood. Now with a preschooler, an elementary schooler, and both parents WFH we would love more room, but no one is selling. I don't know why the elderly want their 4000 sq. foot houses now that their kids are long gone, but that it seems they don't want to leave them.

probably because moving in a PITA, they have a low mortgage rate, and the new townhomes are almost as expensive as the 4000sf houses.
Unless you are planning on moving south to retire, it's easier just to keep your current home

And then when they die, get dementia or are otherwise incapacitated, they can leave the cleaning out the big house and moving for their kids to deal with. Very considerate.

DP.. I pushed our ILs to downsize a long time ago, and they refused. Then my FIL got dementia, and moving would've been difficult for them. Then he died, and my MIL got decision paralysis, even though she knew she had to move. Then she fell for the third time, blacked out, and finally made the move to a smaller place.

My parents moved when we all moved out. But, moving out and downsizing is no small feat for people who have lived in their homes for 40 years.

Personally, I cannot wait to downsize, but my problem right now is where do I move to? And a PP is correct. Prices have gone up so much that a nice but smaller condo in a nice area is almost the same price as my large sfh in a good school district. It's hard to move in that case.

There is no such thing as a good school district. It’s code for wealthy and white. Why leave your home? It should be paid off.

You forgot Asian and South Asian. Anyway, of course there are good school districts. You may disagree based on your own internal metrics but it's pointless to claim that most people do not believe and accept the concept of good school districts. After all, it is a major role in real estate buying decisions for many people and those districts are backed up by excellent scores, low behavioral problems, etc. Things that add up to "good school district." Wishing it wasn't so isn't going to make it go away.

[Anonymous]

How many elderly people actually consider the school district when buying a property for their own use? I find that hard to believe. Except that it is sometimes a proxy for having rich neighbors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish the people in their 60s and 70s in my neighborhood would downsize so that we could buy one of their big houses. We bought a small house 10 years ago in a lovely neighborhood. Now with a preschooler, an elementary schooler, and both parents WFH we would love more room, but no one is selling. I don't know why the elderly want their 4000 sq. foot houses now that their kids are long gone, but that it seems they don't want to leave them.

probably because moving in a PITA, they have a low mortgage rate, and the new townhomes are almost as expensive as the 4000sf houses.
Unless you are planning on moving south to retire, it's easier just to keep your current home

And then when they die, get dementia or are otherwise incapacitated, they can leave the cleaning out the big house and moving for their kids to deal with. Very considerate.

Seriously, after they raised you and did and paid everything for you for 18 years, and then probably also college, you can't take a couple weeks out of your life and use some of your inheritance to pay to clean out the house? Selfish

[Anonymous]

It is selfish of elderly people not to get their housing and other affairs in order while they still have the physical and mental faculties to do so, rather than dumping it on their children (many of whom are working and raising their own kids).

[Anonymous]

At some point, DH and I want to live in a big apartment with a lot of amenities. We’ll see if it works out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many elderly people actually consider the school district when buying a property for their own use? I find that hard to believe. Except that it is sometimes a proxy for having rich neighbors.

Don't think we were talking about elderly people but a poster who claimed there was no such thing as a good school district.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish the people in their 60s and 70s in my neighborhood would downsize so that we could buy one of their big houses. We bought a small house 10 years ago in a lovely neighborhood. Now with a preschooler, an elementary schooler, and both parents WFH we would love more room, but no one is selling. I don't know why the elderly want their 4000 sq. foot houses now that their kids are long gone, but that it seems they don't want to leave them.

probably because moving in a PITA, they have a low mortgage rate, and the new townhomes are almost as expensive as the 4000sf houses.
Unless you are planning on moving south to retire, it's easier just to keep your current home

And then when they die, get dementia or are otherwise incapacitated, they can leave the cleaning out the big house and moving for their kids to deal with. Very considerate.

DP.. I pushed our ILs to downsize a long time ago, and they refused. Then my FIL got dementia, and moving would've been difficult for them. Then he died, and my MIL got decision paralysis, even though she knew she had to move. Then she fell for the third time, blacked out, and finally made the move to a smaller place.

My parents moved when we all moved out. But, moving out and downsizing is no small feat for people who have lived in their homes for 40 years.

Personally, I cannot wait to downsize, but my problem right now is where do I move to? And a PP is correct. Prices have gone up so much that a nice but smaller condo in a nice area is almost the same price as my large sfh in a good school district. It's hard to move in that case.

There is no such thing as a good school district. It’s code for wealthy and white. Why leave your home? It should be paid off.

You forgot Asian and South Asian. Anyway, of course there are good school districts. You may disagree based on your own internal metrics but it's pointless to claim that most people do not believe and accept the concept of good school districts. After all, it is a major role in real estate buying decisions for many people and those districts are backed up by excellent scores, low behavioral problems, etc. Things that add up to "good school district." Wishing it wasn't so isn't going to make it go away.

Not shocking---"good school districts" are in areas of wealth. It's much easier to educate kids who have a good start and have involved parents at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish the people in their 60s and 70s in my neighborhood would downsize so that we could buy one of their big houses. We bought a small house 10 years ago in a lovely neighborhood. Now with a preschooler, an elementary schooler, and both parents WFH we would love more room, but no one is selling. I don't know why the elderly want their 4000 sq. foot houses now that their kids are long gone, but that it seems they don't want to leave them.

probably because moving in a PITA, they have a low mortgage rate, and the new townhomes are almost as expensive as the 4000sf houses.
Unless you are planning on moving south to retire, it's easier just to keep your current home

And then when they die, get dementia or are otherwise incapacitated, they can leave the cleaning out the big house and moving for their kids to deal with. Very considerate.

Seriously, after they raised you and did and paid everything for you for 18 years, and then probably also college, you can't take a couple weeks out of your life and use some of your inheritance to pay to clean out the house? Selfish

My own parents thankfully did the downsizing themselves. While they were still capable and totally healthy. Once THEY made the choice to downsize (to a CCRC in Independent living), it was not difficult. They now wish they had done it sooner, as they love the freedom of a smaller place and not having "outside work that MUST be done"

[Anonymous]

Love all these posters who think late 50s is ancient and they can’t imagine hosting family at that age.

Now I’ll see if I can drag my 57 year old bones up the stairs. After my glass of warm milk, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish the people in their 60s and 70s in my neighborhood would downsize so that we could buy one of their big houses. We bought a small house 10 years ago in a lovely neighborhood. Now with a preschooler, an elementary schooler, and both parents WFH we would love more room, but no one is selling. I don't know why the elderly want their 4000 sq. foot houses now that their kids are long gone, but that it seems they don't want to leave them.

probably because moving in a PITA, they have a low mortgage rate, and the new townhomes are almost as expensive as the 4000sf houses.
Unless you are planning on moving south to retire, it's easier just to keep your current home

Offer them enough money. I think its super entitled to expect someone to move out of their house. THat poster can remodel or move somewhere else. I could see the appeal.. grandkids, comfort, live in help...

I will never sell our small house. Its paid off so we have no mortgage, etc. and I have no interest in moving for someone elses wish. We get offers all the time but none worth moving for.