If you were to do it again, marry for money or love?

[Anonymous]

Hilarious that most of you think you had a choice.

[Anonymous]

If you aren't already in love then marry for common sense. Find someone single, kind, smart, educated, employed, and physically/intellectually compatible. Don't fall for someone significantly prettier or richer than you, won't be a good relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying for money is always a mistake.

I married for love.

If I could do it again, I'd marry for sex.

😧 are you male or female?

Female.

Sex is the glue in a relationship for me. If he’s annoying or pisses me off, he could completely erase any feelings of contempt or boredom by really giving it to me. But my DH isn’t assertive or driven enough in that department. I am still attractive but he doesn’t show me he desires me and I need that to be happy. And in turn, when a man shows me emphatically that he desires me, it ramps up my drive and I initiate and show him I desire and appreciate him.

But we are pretty much roommates at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you had to do it all over again and assuming you had both options, would you marry for money or for love?

In this case the marriage for love the guy will be able to provide a middle class lifestyle vs the guy you marry for money would have a guaranteed UMC / on verge of wealthy lifestyle

Option three? I married for compatibility.

+1 Love isn't enough. You also have to be compatible.

I've been married nearly 30 years (got married at 30). I've always made more than DH and knew I always would. We've had some tough lows but have been able to work thru them. Love has really helped but it wasn't enough by any means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tell my girls to look for both. Of course you need compatibility, but nobody wants a scrub.

Lol, please do report back when they are 30 and you tell your girls to freeze their eggs.

I don’t know anyone who has kids before 30…and I am 47. That is ridiculous.

The point is that your daughters will still have zero long-term relationship experience and no one on the horizon because you've taught them to be materialistic. So they will start panicking at 30.

What? My kids are 10 and 13.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tell my girls to look for both. Of course you need compatibility, but nobody wants a scrub.

Lol, please do report back when they are 30 and you tell your girls to freeze their eggs.

I don’t know anyone who has kids before 30…and I am 47. That is ridiculous.

Average maternal age in the US is 27.5. You live in a bubble

No, I live in the DC area and my peers are highly educated women with good careers who did not have their first kids until mid to late 30s and some even didn’t even have their first kid until 40 or 42.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would the money guy be a decent person? Not abusive, etc...

Yes but the “spark” isn’t there like it is with the love guy

Money. Chances are the “spark” won’t be there with anyone 20 yrs in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would the money guy be a decent person? Not abusive, etc...

Yes but the “spark” isn’t there like it is with the love guy

Money. Chances are the “spark” won’t be there with anyone 20 yrs in.

I’m still happy with my love match - married 17 years and together over 25 years. He had no money (grad student) when we married. Now we both make about $200k / year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tell my girls to look for both. Of course you need compatibility, but nobody wants a scrub.

Lol, please do report back when they are 30 and you tell your girls to freeze their eggs.

I don’t know anyone who has kids before 30…and I am 47. That is ridiculous.

Average maternal age in the US is 27.5. You live in a bubble

No, I live in the DC area and my peers are highly educated women with good careers who did not have their first kids until mid to late 30s and some even didn’t even have their first kid until 40 or 42.

It’s 28 in DC. I had a grad degree at 24; a baby at 27, first house at 26. Women can take maternity leave, most of my younger colleges do.