Man, kids are effing RUDE!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My preschooler never says thank you. She has a nut allergy and is always trying to figure out if what she has been handed will be safe for her. We are working on "thank you" but I don't push it now because the first thing is teaching her how to be safe around food.

Just sharing this because we all have unique circumstances. I hope people don't think we are rude but it is less important to me than teaching my kid food safety.

Never ever, or just during T&T?

Just during Trick or Treating. It is very chaotic and crowded and just a lot for her to remember TY after looking at the candy and then getting pushed aside by crowds of kids. I don't think it's helpful to nag her about "TY" when she is doing the right thing by checking her food. It is a lot for a 4 year old in that context.

Teach her the fun of collecting and being polite in the moment. Look at the candy at home and make decisions on what she can have then. If she cant have it does she hand it back? I cant understand the point of teaching "safety" in this moment if shes not eating it immediately.

I do check it at home but she is learning how to keep herself safe. Yes she hands it back if she can't have it so they can give it to another child and then they graciously give her something she can eat.

We will keep doing what we are doing. It's fine if not everyone can understand.

It's possible to say Thank you and hand it back.

Of course but she is 4 and usually getting jostled out of the way by bigger kids while this is happening. We are doing our best. By the way, it is also possible to give some grace to 4 year olds learning how to manage life threatening allergies on halloween.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My preschooler never says thank you. She has a nut allergy and is always trying to figure out if what she has been handed will be safe for her. We are working on "thank you" but I don't push it now because the first thing is teaching her how to be safe around food.

Just sharing this because we all have unique circumstances. I hope people don't think we are rude but it is less important to me than teaching my kid food safety.

Never ever, or just during T&T?

Just during Trick or Treating. It is very chaotic and crowded and just a lot for her to remember TY after looking at the candy and then getting pushed aside by crowds of kids. I don't think it's helpful to nag her about "TY" when she is doing the right thing by checking her food. It is a lot for a 4 year old in that context.

Teach her the fun of collecting and being polite in the moment. Look at the candy at home and make decisions on what she can have then. If she cant have it does she hand it back? I cant understand the point of teaching "safety" in this moment if shes not eating it immediately.

I do check it at home but she is learning how to keep herself safe. Yes she hands it back if she can't have it so they can give it to another child and then they graciously give her something she can eat.

We will keep doing what we are doing. It's fine if not everyone can understand.

It's possible to say Thank you and hand it back.

Of course but she is 4 and usually getting jostled out of the way by bigger kids while this is happening. We are doing our best. By the way, it is also possible to give some grace to 4 year olds learning how to manage life threatening allergies on halloween.

NP. I dunno. I sympathize with the allergy issue but this is giving me strong vibes of people who let their toddlers very very slowly walk down the subway steps at rush hour, holding up massive numbers of people trying to get to/from work, because “it’s important that Larla learns how to do this” and “everyone should give some grace.”

Yes, of course, but NOT DURING RUSH HOUR. And not during trick or treating, either. You’re inconveniencing everyone else in your “teachable moment.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are you jerks insisting that children take one piece of candy? LOL!

Why don't these people just turn out their lights and eat the candy themselves if they are so offended? Hundreds of kids come by our house between 6-8. These aren't individual interactions happening in a vacuum. Maybe these people live where it's more rural.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My preschooler never says thank you. She has a nut allergy and is always trying to figure out if what she has been handed will be safe for her. We are working on "thank you" but I don't push it now because the first thing is teaching her how to be safe around food.

Just sharing this because we all have unique circumstances. I hope people don't think we are rude but it is less important to me than teaching my kid food safety.

Never ever, or just during T&T?

Just during Trick or Treating. It is very chaotic and crowded and just a lot for her to remember TY after looking at the candy and then getting pushed aside by crowds of kids. I don't think it's helpful to nag her about "TY" when she is doing the right thing by checking her food. It is a lot for a 4 year old in that context.

Teach her the fun of collecting and being polite in the moment. Look at the candy at home and make decisions on what she can have then. If she cant have it does she hand it back? I cant understand the point of teaching "safety" in this moment if shes not eating it immediately.

I do check it at home but she is learning how to keep herself safe. Yes she hands it back if she can't have it so they can give it to another child and then they graciously give her something she can eat.

We will keep doing what we are doing. It's fine if not everyone can understand.

It's possible to say Thank you and hand it back.

Of course but she is 4 and usually getting jostled out of the way by bigger kids while this is happening. We are doing our best. By the way, it is also possible to give some grace to 4 year olds learning how to manage life threatening allergies on halloween.

NP. I dunno. I sympathize with the allergy issue but this is giving me strong vibes of people who let their toddlers very very slowly walk down the subway steps at rush hour, holding up massive numbers of people trying to get to/from work, because “it’s important that Larla learns how to do this” and “everyone should give some grace.”

Yes, of course, but NOT DURING RUSH HOUR. And not during trick or treating, either. You’re inconveniencing everyone else in your “teachable moment.”

Pp is explaining why her 4 yr old doesn't always say thank you, which is a ridiculous thing to explain. Your analogy is better saved for the parents who angrily insist their kid say thank you at someone making everyone uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My preschooler never says thank you. She has a nut allergy and is always trying to figure out if what she has been handed will be safe for her. We are working on "thank you" but I don't push it now because the first thing is teaching her how to be safe around food.

Just sharing this because we all have unique circumstances. I hope people don't think we are rude but it is less important to me than teaching my kid food safety.

Never ever, or just during T&T?

Just during Trick or Treating. It is very chaotic and crowded and just a lot for her to remember TY after looking at the candy and then getting pushed aside by crowds of kids. I don't think it's helpful to nag her about "TY" when she is doing the right thing by checking her food. It is a lot for a 4 year old in that context.

Teach her the fun of collecting and being polite in the moment. Look at the candy at home and make decisions on what she can have then. If she cant have it does she hand it back? I cant understand the point of teaching "safety" in this moment if shes not eating it immediately.

I do check it at home but she is learning how to keep herself safe. Yes she hands it back if she can't have it so they can give it to another child and then they graciously give her something she can eat.

We will keep doing what we are doing. It's fine if not everyone can understand.

It's possible to say Thank you and hand it back.

Of course but she is 4 and usually getting jostled out of the way by bigger kids while this is happening. We are doing our best. By the way, it is also possible to give some grace to 4 year olds learning how to manage life threatening allergies on halloween.

NP. I dunno. I sympathize with the allergy issue but this is giving me strong vibes of people who let their toddlers very very slowly walk down the subway steps at rush hour, holding up massive numbers of people trying to get to/from work, because “it’s important that Larla learns how to do this” and “everyone should give some grace.”

Yes, of course, but NOT DURING RUSH HOUR. And not during trick or treating, either. You’re inconveniencing everyone else in your “teachable moment.”

Pp is explaining why her 4 yr old doesn't always say thank you, which is a ridiculous thing to explain. Your analogy is better saved for the parents who angrily insist their kid say thank you at someone making everyone uncomfortable.

No, saying thank you is very quick. Examining a candy in semi-darkness for allergens, handing back forbidden items, and selecting a replacement is a lengthy process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My preschooler never says thank you. She has a nut allergy and is always trying to figure out if what she has been handed will be safe for her. We are working on "thank you" but I don't push it now because the first thing is teaching her how to be safe around food.

Just sharing this because we all have unique circumstances. I hope people don't think we are rude but it is less important to me than teaching my kid food safety.

Why wouldn’t you do switch witch with her and teach her about food safety at home when everyone has time and bandwidth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My preschooler never says thank you. She has a nut allergy and is always trying to figure out if what she has been handed will be safe for her. We are working on "thank you" but I don't push it now because the first thing is teaching her how to be safe around food.

Just sharing this because we all have unique circumstances. I hope people don't think we are rude but it is less important to me than teaching my kid food safety.

Never ever, or just during T&T?

Just during Trick or Treating. It is very chaotic and crowded and just a lot for her to remember TY after looking at the candy and then getting pushed aside by crowds of kids. I don't think it's helpful to nag her about "TY" when she is doing the right thing by checking her food. It is a lot for a 4 year old in that context.

Teach her the fun of collecting and being polite in the moment. Look at the candy at home and make decisions on what she can have then. If she cant have it does she hand it back? I cant understand the point of teaching "safety" in this moment if shes not eating it immediately.

I do check it at home but she is learning how to keep herself safe. Yes she hands it back if she can't have it so they can give it to another child and then they graciously give her something she can eat.

We will keep doing what we are doing. It's fine if not everyone can understand.

I have a child with an allergy and don’t quite understand your process. If someone drops the candy in her bag, does she dig it out and ask for a different piece? Hand it directly back after examination?

My kid just takes whatever candy is given (obviously picking something she likes if given the choice), says thank you and then sorts it at home. Much more efficient than standing on the porch. I always make sure to buy an assorted bag of her favorites to trade her for the ones she can’t have. When home earlier, we’d add those to our bucket. As she’s gotten older, she’s learned the value her brother places on Reece cups and does quite well trading with him.

[Anonymous]

We do full size bars. I say “go ahead and pick one” so expectations are clear. On the other hand I tell my kids the rule is to only take ONE unless that house specifically tells you otherwise. That is the polite rule of thumb for kids to use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My preschooler never says thank you. She has a nut allergy and is always trying to figure out if what she has been handed will be safe for her. We are working on "thank you" but I don't push it now because the first thing is teaching her how to be safe around food.

Just sharing this because we all have unique circumstances. I hope people don't think we are rude but it is less important to me than teaching my kid food safety.

My kid also has a nut allergy and it’s no reason to not say thank you. That should be automatic from age 2. Please don’t use allergies as an excuse to be rude and give the rest of us a bad name.

If you want her to try to swap things for something else, you should be there to ask them if they have a non-candy item for a kid with allergies BEFORE they give your kid something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My preschooler never says thank you. She has a nut allergy and is always trying to figure out if what she has been handed will be safe for her. We are working on "thank you" but I don't push it now because the first thing is teaching her how to be safe around food.

Just sharing this because we all have unique circumstances. I hope people don't think we are rude but it is less important to me than teaching my kid food safety.

Never ever, or just during T&T?

Just during Trick or Treating. It is very chaotic and crowded and just a lot for her to remember TY after looking at the candy and then getting pushed aside by crowds of kids. I don't think it's helpful to nag her about "TY" when she is doing the right thing by checking her food. It is a lot for a 4 year old in that context.

Teach her the fun of collecting and being polite in the moment. Look at the candy at home and make decisions on what she can have then. If she cant have it does she hand it back? I cant understand the point of teaching "safety" in this moment if shes not eating it immediately.

I do check it at home but she is learning how to keep herself safe. Yes she hands it back if she can't have it so they can give it to another child and then they graciously give her something she can eat.

We will keep doing what we are doing. It's fine if not everyone can understand.

It's possible to say Thank you and hand it back.

Of course but she is 4 and usually getting jostled out of the way by bigger kids while this is happening. We are doing our best. By the way, it is also possible to give some grace to 4 year olds learning how to manage life threatening allergies on halloween.

NP. I dunno. I sympathize with the allergy issue but this is giving me strong vibes of people who let their toddlers very very slowly walk down the subway steps at rush hour, holding up massive numbers of people trying to get to/from work, because “it’s important that Larla learns how to do this” and “everyone should give some grace.”

Yes, of course, but NOT DURING RUSH HOUR. And not during trick or treating, either. You’re inconveniencing everyone else in your “teachable moment.”

Pp is explaining why her 4 yr old doesn't always say thank you, which is a ridiculous thing to explain. Your analogy is better saved for the parents who angrily insist their kid say thank you at someone making everyone uncomfortable.

No, saying thank you is very quick. Examining a candy in semi-darkness for allergens, handing back forbidden items, and selecting a replacement is a lengthy process.

Yeah that PP sounds very strange. She’s be much better off teaching her kid that she shouldn’t stuff random things in their mouth and eat junk at every opportunity. There’s really no reason they can’t just wait until they’re home to check for allergens. If the person is giving out allergy friendly treats (stickers etc) then they should ask for that when saying trick or treat BEFORE being handed something. If the person doesn’t know what that is, they’re not going to go rooting around their house for something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My preschooler never says thank you. She has a nut allergy and is always trying to figure out if what she has been handed will be safe for her. We are working on "thank you" but I don't push it now because the first thing is teaching her how to be safe around food.

Just sharing this because we all have unique circumstances. I hope people don't think we are rude but it is less important to me than teaching my kid food safety.

Never ever, or just during T&T?

Just during Trick or Treating. It is very chaotic and crowded and just a lot for her to remember TY after looking at the candy and then getting pushed aside by crowds of kids. I don't think it's helpful to nag her about "TY" when she is doing the right thing by checking her food. It is a lot for a 4 year old in that context.

Teach her the fun of collecting and being polite in the moment. Look at the candy at home and make decisions on what she can have then. If she cant have it does she hand it back? I cant understand the point of teaching "safety" in this moment if shes not eating it immediately.

I do check it at home but she is learning how to keep herself safe. Yes she hands it back if she can't have it so they can give it to another child and then they graciously give her something she can eat.

We will keep doing what we are doing. It's fine if not everyone can understand.

I have a child with an allergy and don’t quite understand your process. If someone drops the candy in her bag, does she dig it out and ask for a different piece? Hand it directly back after examination?

My kid just takes whatever candy is given (obviously picking something she likes if given the choice), says thank you and then sorts it at home. Much more efficient than standing on the porch. I always make sure to buy an assorted bag of her favorites to trade her for the ones she can’t have. When home earlier, we’d add those to our bucket. As she’s gotten older, she’s learned the value her brother places on Reece cups and does quite well trading with him.

No, she doesnt go thru the bag if someone drops it in. It is more that she will shyly mention her allergy if someone hands it out and she sees there are plain m and ms and not just peanut. I thank them while the line keeps moving and I doubt anyone is still thinking about it 5 seconds later because thousands of kids come through where we live.

I was just offering that sometimes these short interaction are not indicative of anything. I personally don't judge little kids at the candy bowl but this thread has given me something to think about. I can see there are a lot of opinions on this topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My preschooler never says thank you. She has a nut allergy and is always trying to figure out if what she has been handed will be safe for her. We are working on "thank you" but I don't push it now because the first thing is teaching her how to be safe around food.

Just sharing this because we all have unique circumstances. I hope people don't think we are rude but it is less important to me than teaching my kid food safety.

Never ever, or just during T&T?

Just during Trick or Treating. It is very chaotic and crowded and just a lot for her to remember TY after looking at the candy and then getting pushed aside by crowds of kids. I don't think it's helpful to nag her about "TY" when she is doing the right thing by checking her food. It is a lot for a 4 year old in that context.

Teach her the fun of collecting and being polite in the moment. Look at the candy at home and make decisions on what she can have then. If she cant have it does she hand it back? I cant understand the point of teaching "safety" in this moment if shes not eating it immediately.

I do check it at home but she is learning how to keep herself safe. Yes she hands it back if she can't have it so they can give it to another child and then they graciously give her something she can eat.

We will keep doing what we are doing. It's fine if not everyone can understand.

I have a child with an allergy and don’t quite understand your process. If someone drops the candy in her bag, does she dig it out and ask for a different piece? Hand it directly back after examination?

My kid just takes whatever candy is given (obviously picking something she likes if given the choice), says thank you and then sorts it at home. Much more efficient than standing on the porch. I always make sure to buy an assorted bag of her favorites to trade her for the ones she can’t have. When home earlier, we’d add those to our bucket. As she’s gotten older, she’s learned the value her brother places on Reece cups and does quite well trading with him.

No, she doesnt go thru the bag if someone drops it in. It is more that she will shyly mention her allergy if someone hands it out and she sees there are plain m and ms and not just peanut. I thank them while the line keeps moving and I doubt anyone is still thinking about it 5 seconds later because thousands of kids come through where we live.

I was just offering that sometimes these short interaction are not indicative of anything. I personally don't judge little kids at the candy bowl but this thread has given me something to think about. I can see there are a lot of opinions on this topic.

Please don’t listen to the bitter people on this thread with nothing better to do than judge how a four year old trick or treats. Honestly, it’s appalling that they care at all. It sounds like your daughter is doing great!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree kids are generally ruder than they used to be. Adults too. It’s also hard because we have much more variety of rules. Even nice kids don’t know what to do because at this house you take one, at the next the lady gives you two, then at the next a basket sits out with directions to take one large or two small.

Haha so true. I have seen kids sitting in front of handwritten signs with directions trying to figure out what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My preschooler never says thank you. She has a nut allergy and is always trying to figure out if what she has been handed will be safe for her. We are working on "thank you" but I don't push it now because the first thing is teaching her how to be safe around food.

Just sharing this because we all have unique circumstances. I hope people don't think we are rude but it is less important to me than teaching my kid food safety.

Never ever, or just during T&T?

Just during Trick or Treating. It is very chaotic and crowded and just a lot for her to remember TY after looking at the candy and then getting pushed aside by crowds of kids. I don't think it's helpful to nag her about "TY" when she is doing the right thing by checking her food. It is a lot for a 4 year old in that context.

Teach her the fun of collecting and being polite in the moment. Look at the candy at home and make decisions on what she can have then. If she cant have it does she hand it back? I cant understand the point of teaching "safety" in this moment if shes not eating it immediately.

I do check it at home but she is learning how to keep herself safe. Yes she hands it back if she can't have it so they can give it to another child and then they graciously give her something she can eat.

We will keep doing what we are doing. It's fine if not everyone can understand.

It's possible to say Thank you and hand it back.

Of course but she is 4 and usually getting jostled out of the way by bigger kids while this is happening. We are doing our best. By the way, it is also possible to give some grace to 4 year olds learning how to manage life threatening allergies on halloween.

Despite what you think your child isn't the first child to have life threatening allergies and go TOT.

This isn't about your daughter or teaching her

It's about you and wanting attention via your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My preschooler never says thank you. She has a nut allergy and is always trying to figure out if what she has been handed will be safe for her. We are working on "thank you" but I don't push it now because the first thing is teaching her how to be safe around food.

Just sharing this because we all have unique circumstances. I hope people don't think we are rude but it is less important to me than teaching my kid food safety.

Never ever, or just during T&T?

Just during Trick or Treating. It is very chaotic and crowded and just a lot for her to remember TY after looking at the candy and then getting pushed aside by crowds of kids. I don't think it's helpful to nag her about "TY" when she is doing the right thing by checking her food. It is a lot for a 4 year old in that context.

Teach her the fun of collecting and being polite in the moment. Look at the candy at home and make decisions on what she can have then. If she cant have it does she hand it back? I cant understand the point of teaching "safety" in this moment if shes not eating it immediately.

I do check it at home but she is learning how to keep herself safe. Yes she hands it back if she can't have it so they can give it to another child and then they graciously give her something she can eat.

We will keep doing what we are doing. It's fine if not everyone can understand.

It's possible to say Thank you and hand it back.

Of course but she is 4 and usually getting jostled out of the way by bigger kids while this is happening. We are doing our best. By the way, it is also possible to give some grace to 4 year olds learning how to manage life threatening allergies on halloween.

Despite what you think your child isn't the first child to have life threatening allergies and go TOT.

This isn't about your daughter or teaching her

It's about you and wanting attention via your daughter.

You sound bonkers. (DP)