Man, kids are effing RUDE!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My preschooler never says thank you. She has a nut allergy and is always trying to figure out if what she has been handed will be safe for her. We are working on "thank you" but I don't push it now because the first thing is teaching her how to be safe around food.

Just sharing this because we all have unique circumstances. I hope people don't think we are rude but it is less important to me than teaching my kid food safety.

Why wouldn’t you do switch witch with her and teach her about food safety at home when everyone has time and bandwidth?

Because then no one would know she's #allergymom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My preschooler never says thank you. She has a nut allergy and is always trying to figure out if what she has been handed will be safe for her. We are working on "thank you" but I don't push it now because the first thing is teaching her how to be safe around food.

Just sharing this because we all have unique circumstances. I hope people don't think we are rude but it is less important to me than teaching my kid food safety.

Never ever, or just during T&T?

Just during Trick or Treating. It is very chaotic and crowded and just a lot for her to remember TY after looking at the candy and then getting pushed aside by crowds of kids. I don't think it's helpful to nag her about "TY" when she is doing the right thing by checking her food. It is a lot for a 4 year old in that context.

Teach her the fun of collecting and being polite in the moment. Look at the candy at home and make decisions on what she can have then. If she cant have it does she hand it back? I cant understand the point of teaching "safety" in this moment if shes not eating it immediately.

I do check it at home but she is learning how to keep herself safe. Yes she hands it back if she can't have it so they can give it to another child and then they graciously give her something she can eat.

We will keep doing what we are doing. It's fine if not everyone can understand.

I have a child with an allergy and don’t quite understand your process. If someone drops the candy in her bag, does she dig it out and ask for a different piece? Hand it directly back after examination?

My kid just takes whatever candy is given (obviously picking something she likes if given the choice), says thank you and then sorts it at home. Much more efficient than standing on the porch. I always make sure to buy an assorted bag of her favorites to trade her for the ones she can’t have. When home earlier, we’d add those to our bucket. As she’s gotten older, she’s learned the value her brother places on Reece cups and does quite well trading with him.

No, she doesnt go thru the bag if someone drops it in. It is more that she will shyly mention her allergy if someone hands it out and she sees there are plain m and ms and not just peanut. I thank them while the line keeps moving and I doubt anyone is still thinking about it 5 seconds later because thousands of kids come through where we live.

I was just offering that sometimes these short interaction are not indicative of anything. I personally don't judge little kids at the candy bowl but this thread has given me something to think about. I can see there are a lot of opinions on this topic.

Please don’t listen to the bitter people on this thread with nothing better to do than judge how a four year old trick or treats. Honestly, it’s appalling that they care at all. It sounds like your daughter is doing great!

Thank you for your kind words- I really appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

My 3y/o said “trick or treat” instead of “thank you” after getting candy on multiple occasions.
It’s a weird and unfamiliar practice when you are little.

In my neighborhood, kids were nice and polite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 3y/o said “trick or treat” instead of “thank you” after getting candy on multiple occasions.
It’s a weird and unfamiliar practice when you are little.

In my neighborhood, kids were nice and polite.

That sounds adorable and developmentally appropriate. Most 3 year olds that I know don't say anything to strangers, let alone a "thank you" in context.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in disbelief how many kids came to my door tonight and had the audacity to ask “how many can I take?” when I’m holding a basket of FULL size candy bars!!! One kid in particular took one of each full size (4 total full size candy bars)— while his mother stood there and said nothing. This was AFTER I said just one. This kid is 8.
My neighbor told me kids shoved their hands into her basket rather than waiting to be given candy by her. When she told one boy to wait until she gives it to him he said “no I want to pick out the ones I want.” This kid is 10.
What the freaking F is wrong with these kids and why aren’t they being taught common sense etiquette, manners, how to be polite?
I was honestly so disgusted.

At 8, "one" and "one of each" isn't a huge mistake. The 10 year old with wants isn't exactly a huge rudeness either.

If you're going to "disgusted" by children behaving like children, save the money, eat some candy by yourself and keep the porch light off next year.

You sound like a curmudgeon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll give out whatever I damn well please. And I expect kids to say THANK YOU regardless of the size or type or amount of the candy.
I spent less than $50 on candy. No, we are not wealthy but it’s a big deal we give out full size bars and it makes my kids very proud they are “that house.”
-OP

And you're complaining about rudeness and other people's attitudes? Children are expected to be polite, when you're this entitled and self-centered as an adult?

You've got some wonky standards, OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please never stop the full size bars! It's so exciting to hit that jackpot when you are a kid. I also loved how many people asked about food allergies this year and had non-food or peanut-free treats on hand. It was an extra effort that made my kid feel included, and as their parent, that felt like a jackpot to me!

OP - maybe the kid who took 4 bars has special needs. Impulsive behavior and social skills deficits associated with autism and adhd and might look like "rudeness" to an outside observer.

And that’s what they have parents, who, per the OP, stood by and did nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree kids are generally ruder than they used to be. Adults too. It’s also hard because we have much more variety of rules. Even nice kids don’t know what to do because at this house you take one, at the next the lady gives you two, then at the next a basket sits out with directions to take one large or two small.

I agree this is more confusing for kids- when we were kids the adult usually were putting candy in our bags, now it's different at every house.

Agree. Why do you expect them to know? Many houses said "please grab a handful, take as much as you want"

Probably because OP said “take one” and the kids aren’t deaf. Do you always make excuses for rude, ill-raised children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are you jerks insisting that children take one piece of candy? LOL!

One full bar is plenty, piggy. “LOL!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My preschooler never says thank you. She has a nut allergy and is always trying to figure out if what she has been handed will be safe for her. We are working on "thank you" but I don't push it now because the first thing is teaching her how to be safe around food.

Just sharing this because we all have unique circumstances. I hope people don't think we are rude but it is less important to me than teaching my kid food safety.

Why wouldn’t you do switch witch with her and teach her about food safety at home when everyone has time and bandwidth?

Because then no one would know she's #allergymom

Nailed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll give out whatever I damn well please. And I expect kids to say THANK YOU regardless of the size or type or amount of the candy.
I spent less than $50 on candy. No, we are not wealthy but it’s a big deal we give out full size bars and it makes my kids very proud they are “that house.”
-OP

And you're complaining about rudeness and other people's attitudes? Children are expected to be polite, when you're this entitled and self-centered as an adult?

You've got some wonky standards, OP

This is the answer. Look at the way the adults are talking to each other on this board. And people wonder why the kids are so rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My preschooler never says thank you. She has a nut allergy and is always trying to figure out if what she has been handed will be safe for her. We are working on "thank you" but I don't push it now because the first thing is teaching her how to be safe around food.

Just sharing this because we all have unique circumstances. I hope people don't think we are rude but it is less important to me than teaching my kid food safety.

Why wouldn’t you do switch witch with her and teach her about food safety at home when everyone has time and bandwidth?

Because then no one would know she's #allergymom

Nailed it.

#survivalofthefittestmoms shout the loudest

To the allergy mom, consider your child’s feelings about the unwanted negative spotlight.

Teach safety at home. Halloween is less fun when every house is a lesson in awkward shame and disappointment.

It’s not rude for a child to politely say no thank you at a birthday party. It’s rude to hand back a candy bar as a lesson in food safety on Halloween.

Your kid comes first. This includes their emotional safety and dignity as well as physical safety. Ignore the trolls using Darwin to justify their rude behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are you jerks insisting that children take one piece of candy? LOL!

One full bar is plenty, piggy. “LOL!”

Ones with 500 ToTs.

[Anonymous]

I buy one type of treat and hand them out myself. No issues!

[Anonymous]

It was the parents who were rude in our area. My 9yo was handing out candy and we were running low so she said "take one please". Several adults grabbed 4+ pieces and walked away.

If you're an adult in a costume, I don't mind you taking a piece of candy. But c'mon - set a good example and leave some for the kids.

Kids are learning this behavior from the adults.