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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My preschooler never says thank you.  She has a nut allergy and is always trying to figure out if what she has been handed will be safe for her.  We are working on "thank you" but I don't push it now because the first thing is teaching her how to be safe around food.

Just sharing this because we all have unique circumstances.  I hope people don't think we are rude but it is less important to me than teaching my kid food safety.[/quote]

Never ever, or just during T&T?[/quote]

Just during Trick or Treating.  It is very chaotic and crowded and just a lot for her to remember TY after looking at the candy and then getting pushed aside by crowds of kids.  I don't think it's helpful to nag her about "TY" when she is doing the right thing by checking her food.  It is a lot for a 4 year old in that context.[/quote]

Teach her the fun of collecting and being polite in the moment. Look at the candy at home and make decisions on what she can have then. If she cant have it does she hand it back? I cant understand the point of teaching "safety" in this moment if shes not eating it immediately.[/quote]

I do check it at home but she is learning how to keep herself safe.  Yes she hands it back if she can't have it so they can give it to another child and then they graciously give her something she can eat.

We will keep doing what we are doing.  It's fine if not everyone can understand.

[/quote]

It's possible to say  Thank you and hand it back. [/quote]

Of course but she is 4 and usually getting jostled out of the way by bigger kids while this is happening.  We are doing our best.  By the way, it is also possible to give some grace to 4 year olds learning how to manage life threatening allergies on halloween.[/quote]

NP. I dunno. I sympathize with the allergy issue but this is giving me strong vibes of people who let their toddlers very very slowly walk down the subway steps at rush hour, holding up massive numbers of people trying to get to/from work, because “it’s important that Larla learns how to do this” and “everyone should give some grace.”

Yes, of course, but NOT DURING RUSH HOUR. And not during trick or treating, either. You’re inconveniencing everyone else in your “teachable moment.”[/quote]
Pp is explaining why her 4 yr old doesn't always say thank you, which is a ridiculous thing to explain. Your analogy is better saved for the parents who angrily insist their kid say thank you at someone making everyone uncomfortable.[/quote]

No, saying thank you is very quick. Examining a candy in semi-darkness for allergens, handing back forbidden items, and selecting a replacement is a lengthy process.[/quote]

Yeah that PP sounds very strange. She’s be much better off teaching her kid that she shouldn’t stuff random things in their mouth and eat junk at every opportunity. There’s really no reason they can’t just wait until they’re home to check for allergens. If the person is giving out allergy friendly treats (stickers etc) then they should ask for that when saying trick or treat BEFORE being handed something. If the person doesn’t know what that is, they’re not going to go rooting around their house for something else.[/quote]

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