I think my BFF is having her DD baby shower today and didn’t invite me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the guest list is made by the pregnant girl. it is not a l ist of all the mom's friends, necessarily.

are you close to the pregnant girl?

i wouldn't worry too much about it.

This is weird to me though if OP and the mom are best friends. I invited my mom's 4 closest friends to my baby shower.

I did not. They are not my friends, and since I don't live at home anymore, I don't even really know them that well. I imagine it would be a little cliquey too. No thanks.

I went to a shower like this once with a lot of the grandmother to be’s friends. It was mostly older people, not many friends of the mom to be. It was awkward and one of the older ladies even said “you can’t sit with us” when I was trying to find a place to sit because they were “saving a seat”. From that point on I just sent gifts to showers when the guest list did not have many bride/mother to be friends. No thanks, indeed.

This happened at my wedding! Not only did they ignore everyone, they brought out a deck of cards and never left the table.

This happened to me too and I was the bride. At the brunch on the Sunday after the wedding night I tried to go sit at other tables and chat. A bunch of the older women told me the seat was being saved and I couldn’t sit there. Idk why but it really stuck with me as a sour note for my wedding to end on. Also, I was paying for the brunch!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And there just happened to be a butt dial?
Sounds trollish to me, OP...

+1 And what person the age of a grandmother uses the word BFF. Go away troll.

Or the word butt dial.

Only the geriatrics call it a butt dial. Gen Z and younger call it a pocket dial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the shower is for the DD and her friends, not the mom’s friends.

+1 I would not want have wanted my mom's friends at my shower!

Really? My moms friends were so excited for me, and excited to be included.

[Anonymous]

OP, maybe they are waiting for you to offer to throw the daughter a shower if you are such great friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be upset too OP! Me and my squad always include our moms friends!

Squad?

That was probably OP sock puppetting. Who says "BFF" and "squad" if they're OP's age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would seem strange that you are having zero issues with your best friend and yet aren't invited to a shower. Perhaps you misheard or are assuming wrong.

Honestly, we have zero issues. We spoke just this week and she didn’t mention having any other big plans this weekend. They were clearly speaking about a baby shower, and I clearly heard her DD. Of course it could be someone else’s shower, but what are the chances?

It's the kid's shower. Why would you expect to go? Also, you don't butt dial someone and they 'butt answer', you would/should have gotten vm.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think not being invited is an issue, it’s lying about not having one. Something is not right if she’s really your best friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the guest list is made by the pregnant girl. it is not a l ist of all the mom's friends, necessarily.

are you close to the pregnant girl?

i wouldn't worry too much about it.

This is weird to me though if OP and the mom are best friends. I invited my mom's 4 closest friends to my baby shower.

I did not. They are not my friends, and since I don't live at home anymore, I don't even really know them that well. I imagine it would be a little cliquey too. No thanks.

I went to a shower like this once with a lot of the grandmother to be’s friends. It was mostly older people, not many friends of the mom to be. It was awkward and one of the older ladies even said “you can’t sit with us” when I was trying to find a place to sit because they were “saving a seat”. From that point on I just sent gifts to showers when the guest list did not have many bride/mother to be friends. No thanks, indeed.

This happened at my wedding! Not only did they ignore everyone, they brought out a deck of cards and never left the table.

This happened to me too and I was the bride. At the brunch on the Sunday after the wedding night I tried to go sit at other tables and chat. A bunch of the older women told me the seat was being saved and I couldn’t sit there. Idk why but it really stuck with me as a sour note for my wedding to end on. Also, I was paying for the brunch!

It was weird. They never engaged with any other guests either. I was thinking, "why are you even here?"

[Anonymous]

Get a new friend. They sound like lousy friends to not invite you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the shower is for the DD and her friends, not the mom’s friends.

This, it is probably a situation where the person hosting has limited space and DD wants to maximize space for her friends. Your BFF didn’t tell you bc it’s not her choice and she didn’t want to hurt your feelings.

This. The DD wants her friends there, not her mom's friends. I'd be a little hurt too, but remember that it's not your BFF who's deciding the guest list.

Yes some people do not include their mother’s friends at these types of events. My mother had a similar situation and had a falling out with her friend over it, which I found completely ridiculous because it was the daughters choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the shower is for the DD and her friends, not the mom’s friends.

This, it is probably a situation where the person hosting has limited space and DD wants to maximize space for her friends. Your BFF didn’t tell you bc it’s not her choice and she didn’t want to hurt your feelings.

This. The DD wants her friends there, not her mom's friends. I'd be a little hurt too, but remember that it's not your BFF who's deciding the guest list.

Yes some people do not include their mother’s friends at these types of events. My mother had a similar situation and had a falling out with her friend over it, which I found completely ridiculous because it was the daughters choice.

That is ridiculous. I had multiple baby showers and wedding showers. They were thrown by my friends and included my mom and in one case an aunt who lived in the area but it would never have occurred to me to invite mom's friends.

There are many non-hurtful reasons OP wasn't on the guest list. Whatever they are her friend seems aware that OP is sensitive about this and so chose to lie vs. tell her she wasn't being included, no doubt for reason's out of the friend's control.

OP either needs to just drop it or have a conversation with your friend without being judgmental. And, you could offer to throw a shower yourself if you really want to celebrate with the DD!