Beach house with nephew

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I had a couple good interactions with Nephew.

1. I asked him what vegetable he’d like for dinner and he requested broccoli! I can do broccoli!

2. Nephew has a cut and 8 stitches on his hand from water skiing last week. His bandage fell off, so he asked me for help getting a new one. I put on some ointment and bandaged it up. He exclaimed, “Wow! You take such good care of me! Thank you!”

So, I think there’s hope for this trip to go okay.

That’s great OP! My guess is he just doesn’t know any better/different. His parents actions say a lot about the life he probably has at home. Maybe your mom knows this and wanted him to have a great week with your family? I do think you need to have a conversation with her as it was a pretty crappy way to spring this situation on you. I hope you are able to have a positive impact on your nephew’s life. Sounds like he needs some love and encouragement.

[Anonymous]

At an absolute minimum you should take his cell phone away. Give it back for one hour a day to communicate with his mom. If he wants to use that hour to tell her to come and get him, that’s great with you.

And he eats what you eat or nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At an absolute minimum you should take his cell phone away. Give it back for one hour a day to communicate with his mom. If he wants to use that hour to tell her to come and get him, that’s great with you.

And he eats what you eat or nothing.

Aren’t you a peach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear on something: I did not know it would just be my nephew until the night before he arrived. My sister worked everything out with my mom, who paid for his plane ticket.

The ticket was bought without my approval. I had packed the car and had to delay a day to wait for Nephew’s plane to come in.

Didn't you say in the op "we flew him out" ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to grow a spine here! He is a child. Your beach house, your rules. You do not have to treat him with the deference you would give an adult guest.

Sit him down today for a talk. Tell him from now on he is to leave DD alone, and NO JUMP SCARES. Quiet time starts at 10 PM. If he does not like those rules, you will arrange to send him home. (This may be what he wants). Tell him very explicitly: These are the house rules, you can follow the rules or you can go.

You can take him to a store to spend his own pocket money on a charger.

I would not bother caring what he eats. His parents obviously don't. Serve what you serve and he can take it or leave it.

Remember, it's in his best interest to learn these life lessons.

This OP definitely this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At an absolute minimum you should take his cell phone away. Give it back for one hour a day to communicate with his mom. If he wants to use that hour to tell her to come and get him, that’s great with you.

And he eats what you eat or nothing.

Yep this
OP
You are the adult your place your rules

[Anonymous]

Stand up for your daughter every time. Teach your daughter to stand up for herself too or to completely ignore it. It would be best for you to tell him "no more teasing your cousin. She doesn't like it and it's rude. The next time you tease her, you're going to have a time out "

[Anonymous]

1. Protect your daughter. Stand up for her. Let her hear you discipline him and enforce rules.

2. Would never give any child in my care access to a smart phone all night long. All day even. Especially at 11 years old. Take the phone away.

3. Jump scares. Discipline the child. Hey that was unsafe and now dinner is on the floor. Help clean it up and help make xyz now. Don't ever do that do again. You could have gotten burned someone else could have gotten burned. Basic kitchen safety.

4. When your sister asks how's it going you say not great. We love nephew but he seems unhappy and he's acting out. Is something going on? Did he not want to come? Make it clear this is a stress for you and is not working.

5. Same rules as my kids for any other child in my house or care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is your own fault, so stop whining. If my sister said hey guess what, Bill and I won’t be there, but we’re sending you the kids I would say haha, good one, don’t expect anyone to get them from the airport because not only am I not doing that, I’m blocking all of your numbers for that week.

Seriously. WTF, OP. I feel sorry for the kid. His parents sound like morons. You could give him the best week if you just lightened up a bit and recognized it’s not his fault his parents didn’t raise him well.

+1

Why is it OP’s job? This is OP’s vacation and it sounds like the sister wanted a break from their kid and sent them away. No sane person would do this to another relative without getting their ok.

An 11 year old doesn’t need a phone. I don’t know all you posters telling OP to buy a charger are ridiculous. She let him use her charger and he broke it! I have never had a charger break. Take his phone away at 10 PM and say you’ll charge it in your room overnight. I also would limit hours on the phone. Try and ask him what he is interested in and plan an activity he might like. Rock climbing? Laser tag? Boating? Water park?

I would call your mom and say never again. Explain what she did is not ok and made you miss a day of your vacation and caused you to essentially be a babysitter. I would also have a conversation with your sister after the trip. Be factual not judgmental and just say factually you didn’t appreciate what she did. Don’t take a trip with them again. You have a sister and mom issue not a nephew issue he is a kid. My SIL and another relative is like this, they essentially dump their kids on you and make it seem like they are doing you a favor.

[Anonymous]

Update OP?

[Anonymous]

I get the feeling that you think your kids are better than him. He eats greasy sausage, that you bought and he ate but your kids stomaches “felt funny”. Your kids go to bed the same time as preschoolers and he goes to be at 11:00 pm. He talks loud. He fools around by telling your daughter there are bugs on her back. How many times did she fall for it?

Just tolerate and stop comparing to your kids. Buy another charger and take his phone at 8 or 9 o’clock. Find activities that they all like. It’s not that long a time.

[Anonymous]

OP—how did this week go?