Beach house with nephew

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As others have said, your house, your rules.
His phone goes with you when you go to bed at 10 and you will charge it for him overnight. You don’t provide access to a charger otherwise.

Have some food options he can help himself to. If he makes a rude comment, calmly say « that was rude and I do not appreciate it. There’s cereal in the cupboard if you’d like some « and then move on.

No tolerance for jump scares or teasing your daughter. Tell him if he continues that he’ll need to spend some quiet time in his room away from the rest of you.

Hold firm on all of this but otherwise be warm and loving and let other little things go. He’s a kid and is looking for some guidance and love.

+1. Honestly, this all seems pretty par for the course for an 11 year old with a mischievous streak. Put some rules in place and then go have fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I had a couple good interactions with Nephew.

1. I asked him what vegetable he’d like for dinner and he requested broccoli! I can do broccoli!

2. Nephew has a cut and 8 stitches on his hand from water skiing last week. His bandage fell off, so he asked me for help getting a new one. I put on some ointment and bandaged it up. He exclaimed, “Wow! You take such good care of me! Thank



So, I think there’s hope for this trip to go okay.

That's great! Crossing fingers for more moments like that. Also gives you ammo if he does act up, "I know you can be nicer, Andy"

[Anonymous]

I feel sorry for the kid. Just model good behavior and a functional family. If all else fails, buy him a charger and let him sit on his phone. You could also tell your mom she needs to fly out and be with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I can’t just leave an 11 yr old stranded at BWI.

I could. I’d text my mom and my sister and say Grandma can come get him within two hours and if that doesn’t work, I’d be happy to call CPS and alert them that an 11yo has been stranded by his mother and grandmother at an airport. Your choice.

[Anonymous]

God, I hope your kids don’t grow up to be spineless twits with no boundaries, like their mother is teaching them to be by modeling being a total doormat.

[Anonymous]

You are in loco parentis. Set some rules and enforce them. He sounds like an annoying but typical kid for that age. I also wonder if he feels a little bit of a third wheel because it’s your nuclear family and then just him see if you can turn around and make it a good experience for everybody.

[Anonymous]

Op, I feel for your nephew. I was feral at home; my parents were very neglectful. Your nephew might really thrive with your boundaries but you have to HAVE THEM. You are his parent this week. Act like one.

Second, if the kids had had processed food his whole life, you aren't going to teach him that vegetables are palatable in a few days. Also, the nasty aside about his mother's weight shows you in a very bad light. Preferring peppers to sausages is not a moral virtue.

[Anonymous]

Limit his phone time and tell him that he can give his phone to you for charging. He does not charge it himself

Acknowledge the kid knows he got dumped on you and is probably a little scared and sad. And that is why he is acting up. Be loving but firm with rules. He might actually want you to treat him as your own kids. Make him go to bed when you do. Your house, your rules.

The food - you are serving food that is…let’s say not common kid food that even picky adults would not eat. Maybe let him suggest a meal or side. I would take him to the store and let him pick out something simple - like waffles, bagels or cereal for breakfast. And maybe the ingredients some something like pb&j. Something, you do not have to make, but would make him more comfortable. You could go with - if he will not eat, he goes hungry thing, but A lot of kids have trouble behaving if they are hungry.

And you need to talk to your siblings and parents. They had no right to do this to you.

[Anonymous]

Omg. You are such a cry baby and for what? Minor inconveniences at best. Grow up you Prima donna!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I agree to take your kid for a week, they are following my rules. I won't feed them something they are allergic to but otherwise, they follow the rules of MY family. I will also discipline them as I see fit just like I would my own kids. Don't like it? Keep them at home with you.

+1
How is this not common sense. Especially for your nephew!!

[Anonymous]

It was extremely rude of your sister to dump her kid on you without asking you, beyond rude.
As for the nephew, he is just a kid and you sound like Cruella de Ville towards him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear on something: I did not know it would just be my nephew until the night before he arrived. My sister worked everything out with my mom, who paid for his plane ticket.

The ticket was bought without my approval. I had packed the car and had to delay a day to wait for Nephew’s plane to come in.

No, you didn’t have to. You chose to. “Well, that’s too bad sis and mom, but we’re not waiting around and I’m not watching nephew for a week with no other parents around—that wasn’t the plan. I guess since Grandma bought him the ticket she will be picking him up at the airport. If she wants to drive out with him to the beach house and supervise him, that’s fine: here’s the address.”

[Anonymous]

I’d skip the food and deal with the other stuff. Just buy whatever bread, cheese, etc. that he’ll eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to grow a spine here! He is a child. Your beach house, your rules. You do not have to treat him with the deference you would give an adult guest.

Sit him down today for a talk. Tell him from now on he is to leave DD alone, and NO JUMP SCARES. Quiet time starts at 10 PM. If he does not like those rules, you will arrange to send him home. (This may be what he wants). Tell him very explicitly: These are the house rules, you can follow the rules or you can go.

You can take him to a store to spend his own pocket money on a charger.

I would not bother caring what he eats. His parents obviously don't. Serve what you serve and he can take it or leave it.

Remember, it's in his best interest to learn these life lessons.

Seriously! +1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible to send him home early? "Elroy doesn't seem to be enjoying himself. I know he'd never complain, but I found a ticket for $X more than his current return, and it might be worth it to spare him life with younger cousins"

Stop charging his phone.

Tell him to stop with the jump scares. If you drop something because of one, send him to his room "While I calm down. We'll try to save you some lasagna"

Just observe, when he's rude, "That was rude."

Stop acting like food preferences are an indicator of moral virtue: "My kids ate the peppers and onions and complained that the sausages were too greasy and made their stomachs feel weird." Hoo-ray for your kids, I guess.

+100

How your nephew is acting has nothing to do with how much your sister weighs. It sounds like she and her husband didn't want to hang out with you on your high horse for a week. Why they chose to send their younger son is baffling.