Do you use trackers with your college kids?

[Anonymous]

My wife tracks me

[Anonymous]

I think it is funny that some people respond that they don’t use trackers but use “find my phone”.

I also folks think that asking their 16 year old where they are going is controlling.

Everything in moderation folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t even track my high schoolers or husband. Technically, I can track my kids on Find my IPhone if there’s an emergency, but I have only looked at it 2-3x in the last couple of years. We text each other to share our whereabouts if need be. Works well without the feeling that you’re “spying.”

Find My Phone is what we use. That counts as a tracker.

OP

[Anonymous]

No. Do expect my kid to check in if he’s traveling. Or when he’s home he generally tells me where he is and when he will be back. Pretty laid back about it. I think he has friends at school who check up on each other to make sure they got home.

[Anonymous]

I have two DDs in college. I do have them on Life360 but I never check it.

The one thing that gave me some piece of mind was that my 3rd year went to Athens for study abroad. I didn't know much about the program. This kid tends not to text unless she wants something. So I did check Life360 ONCE, and I saw where she was in Athens. And I thought, well, if anything happens, at least I can say where she is.

But that's it.

The only other time I used it (and this was SUPER-HELPFUL) was when on campus, using it to find where we are supposed to meet up. (Since I don't know where "in front of the statue of X" is, but they do)

[Anonymous]

Half of you on here who are indignantly saying "I don't track" have "find my phone.". People that is what we mean by tracking!

Our family has it activated on all phones. However, I don't use it more than once in a blue moon. It would make me nuts to track my kids.

[Anonymous]

I think the people saying it’s unhealthy have other issues that come into it. It’s only unhealthy if you let it be that way. We have Life360 but it’s only ever really checked for emergencies. Nothing wrong with tracking as long as you’re not going out of your way to constantly check and ask them why they’re at a certain location.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our family— 2 parents, 2 college kids— all have Find My Phone activated. My kids are allowed to turn it off when they are at school. But, I don’t think they ever have.

That said, my promise to them— which I have kept— is that I won’t stalk them. So, I don’t check where they are unless there is a good reason. Like, once DD forgot to text when she got back to school and I checked to see that she was back safely rather than texting because her notifications were off and it was late at night.

But, I can go an entire semester and not check where they are. And I’m not sure what I’m going to see that can’t been unseen or is too intrusive. They spend the night in another dorm? Ok, they are in college. And I don’t have the class schedule memorized and have never checked to see if they are in class. If they aren’t, there isn’t much I can do anyway.

It’s actually more useful at home and I ask them to keep it on when they are home. I can check how far away they are from home when they are driving, etc. And it has useful when they study abroad, and text communication is tougher. I have an itinerary for DD studying in Eastern Europe this summer. But they are doing multiple side trips and the ability to know what country she is actually in is nice. And it was especially nice for safety when she did a week of solo travel before meeting up with her program. If she alone in a foreign country, knowing her location in case of emergency seems important. And when she was in transit to the program, having it was reassuring. Now that she’s with the program, I don’t expect to check much.

Also, my kids can track DH and I and we can track each other, but DH and I are honest with each other about where we are going. I can’t imagine he’d regularly track me. And I see no reason to track him unless I get a “driving in focus” message and I’m looking for an ETA for some reason. Plus, I don’t care if DH and my kids know where I am. I usually tell them before I leave the house.

I guess it depends on how you use it. It can be a useful tool you occasionally use for specific reasons. If you are regularly checking to see if your kid is in class or back in the dorm at midnight, I can see how it could make you nuts.

You _think_ you sound reasonable, but in fact you’re just as fretting and worried as the others who track the whereabouts and movements of their adult relatives.

As one example: why is it “nice” to see and know where your adult daughter is in Europe? Why not wait until she decides she wants to tell you what she did/where she went? If she’s in distress…. she’ll contact you.

She’s not the star of Taken III, and you aren’t Liam Neeson.

You have anxiety issues like the rest of them but pretend you don’t because Europe or something.

You may have missed the part where my 19 year old daughter spent a week, alone, hiking in Iceland. So yes, in addition to texting when she made it back to the hostel each evening, we made sure find your phone worked. Because solo hiking in a rural area in a foreign country isn’t risk free, especially for a woman. And if she was injured, or got lost, or was assaulted, and couldn’t make it back to the hostel, she had no travel buddy, so no one would know. And yes, if it was midnight in Iceland, and she hadn’t checked in, and her phone wasn’t at the hostel and she wasn’t responding to calls or texts, it would be nice to know where she was, so we could try to get her help.

And heck yes, this solo travel plan made me anxious. I fully cop to that. Because having something go wrong on campus is different than having something go wrong in the wilderness in a foreign country when no one in that country knows you exist/ would know you were gone. I think most parents would be anxious under those circumstances. But she has a good head on her shoulders, has travelled with me extensively and is an adult, so we didn’t discourage this trip or try to stand in her way. Time to take a deep breath, put a smile on our faces and tell her to have a fantastic time. But if the technology is there to find her if something did go wrong, why in the world would we not use it?

She has now joined her college group in her host country, and I’m back to seeing little need for Find My Phone. I will hopefully have no need to track her location again. But give me a break. I’m 50, and if I were traveling solo and hiking in a remote area of a foreign country, I would set up a similar system with my spouse. Because having someone know where you are in case something goes wrong is just smart traveling. And if there is no travel buddy, that someone is us. And I do want her to travel while she is young and has few responsibilities. And I’m proud that she pushed herself to do it alone. But I also expect her to be smart about it and to use the same precautions I would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t even track my high schoolers or husband. Technically, I can track my kids on Find my IPhone if there’s an emergency, but I have only looked at it 2-3x in the last couple of years. We text each other to share our whereabouts if need be. Works well without the feeling that you’re “spying.”

Find My Phone is what we use. That counts as a tracker.

OP

It’s only “counts” as tracking if you use it. If you have it activated but never use it then you don’t track your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife tracks me

She must have thought you were being a naughty boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is funny that some people respond that they don’t use trackers but use “find my phone”.

I also folks think that asking their 16 year old where they are going is controlling.

Everything in moderation folks.

I think it’s funny too. I had no idea people did not understand Find My Phone is tracking another person.

Probably most of these people saying they don’t track are tracking without thinking they are…

OP

[Anonymous]

Tracker on after DC turned it off then lost phone in the dark and couldn’t have anyone help narrow location or play sound to help find it. We don’t generally check it unless we are all actively trying to find one another or the phone itself.

[Anonymous]

Envision Roy Kent’s response when Phoebe asks to get ice cream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Half of you on here who are indignantly saying "I don't track" have "find my phone.". People that is what we mean by tracking!

Our family has it activated on all phones. However, I don't use it more than once in a blue moon. It would make me nuts to track my kids.

Just answering the question. Why does it bother you? I don't care what you do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

For example, my kid drives 8 hours to and from college. Yes, it’s nice to keep an eye on his progress. He may be an adult, but he’s only been driving independently for three years and it’s not an easy drive (PA turnpike). When my kids were studying abroad— and especially in transit or traveling alone or with a friend on weekends/ break/ before and after the program— it was very nice to have. Especially because Find My Phone worked when texting was glitchy in areas without fantastic cell service.

My 31 year old has a long commute to work. Yes, it’’s nice to keep an eye on his progress each day. He may be an adult, but he’s only been out of his 20s for one year.