Do you use trackers with your college kids?
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Anonymous
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In the Washington Post, a Carolyn Hax column talked about using tracking apps with adult children.
Most in the comments are against using the tracking apps. Meanwhile, my college kid volunteered for us to track each other and also shares their location with friends. Sometimes, they'll tell me where their friends are located. It's just a fun thing. "They're on the Amtrak heading home, etc." One time I was at a bar, and my college kid texted to ask me, "Where ARE you?!?!?" That was funny. It's also been handy when spouse has gone to pick them up at college and I can easily check their ETA and have dinner ready. To us, the tracking isn't a big deal. If either of us didn't want to do it, we'd stop and it would be fine. But I guess I can see some parents -- and my sibling is one -- who micromanage and control others, and maybe that's when tracking is not a good idea. If someone's purpose is to control another person, then tracking apps are not good. If you have trust with someone, it's not a big deal. What do you all do? |
Anonymous
| Too much togetherness. Not normal. Not healthy. |
Anonymous
| My family shares our locations with each other on Google Maps because we don’t see it as a big deal. We’re a family. |
Anonymous
Same here. |
Anonymous
| I don’t use it myself for my college age kids bc it just seems too controlling almost stalkerish. But an acquaintance uses it on her college aged DC to track them daily and see where they are at all times. Seems a bit much. |
Anonymous
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Because sometimes you get information that you do not want. I couldn’t have a tracker on my kids for that reason but they do have life360 for each other in case of emergencies.
Also, I know kids who will purposely leave their phones at home or with a friend so they can’t tracked. I’d much rather they had their phone in case of emergencies.. |
Anonymous
| We don't use them for our high school or college kids. The HSer says "i don't care, I have nothing to hide" whereas the older one is very into privacy. I admit I would be a little stalkerish if I had that access so probably better that I don't. |
Anonymous
| As a family we all have location sharing on our phones but no life 360. I find myself checking when college son is traveling to make sure he arrives safely to destination and to time dinner/meals when he is on his way home. Other than that I quickly discovered that using it more frequently created way too much anxiety and was a major invasion of privacy. If he is going somewhere unusual he will just tell me - I do not need to know where he is every moment of the day. That is stalking |
Anonymous
| Im with the commenters. Creepy, stalky and too much in other people’s business. The function is useful in some cases (eg spouse travels to dangerous place, we share location, or family member traveling and it’s useful to know how far away they are so you can pick them up), but it doesn’t need to be on all the time |
Anonymous
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My kids are rising seniors in high school and we all track each other.
We give our kids an extremely long leash and don't require that they tell us their itinerary in advance or check in with us when they change locations. For example, one of mine was out yesterday from 10am to 12 midnight. The other was gone from noon to midnight. To my knowledge, they were at a succession of end-of-school parties (grad and otherwise) but I really have no idea. We do track them so we can find them if needed in an emergency or far more likely it's a situation of "oh, I need someone to pick up XX (their younger sibling who is in 9th grade). Let me see where ZZ is right now and if they're close." Anyway, I think parents who don't track (in high school) generally have a "tell me where you're going when you go out" policy. We don't. My kids are comfortable with being tracked because it comes with great freedom. And I don't say the next day, "Oh, I noticed you were XYZ, what were do doing there?" Also, you (as the parent) have to be comfortable with the set up too. If you're the type that will check in all day long "I wonder were they are now?" then it doesn't work. I rarely if ever check in on them. I can imagine we will still track them in college but I won't be the one saying "Hmm, it's 10am and they're in bed, shouldn't they be in class?" because that's just never been my default. I don't want to know their every move. Never have. |
Anonymous
They can turn it off, yet I suppose they might forget and you’d get info you don’t want. |
Anonymous
Yeah, your approach seems normal to me. In the WaPo comments, the people could only seem to think “tracking means stalking” with no in between. I think one isn’t a stalker if you use it in a healthy way like you do. OP |
Anonymous
| No. I've used one of any of my kids. |
Anonymous
| I have two kids in college and we do track each others locations. My kids are already very open with us so not sure what I’d find out that I don’t already know. I don’t look at it all the time but it’s helpful in certain situations. For instance, I won’t call them if I see they’re not in their apartment/dorm. Maybe it’s a little stalkerish but they don’t seem to care. It’s hard being an empty nester so sometimes it is a nice little connection to just see where they are. |
Anonymous
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It seems like overkill for me - I track my teens now and figured I would stop by college. But my college age nieces are fine with being tracked. All the friends track each other.
I started tracking one niece because we were meeting up in an unfamiliar city, and I assured her I would remove it after the trip. She told me to keep it on, it's fine. Their generation doesn't seem to care, and it's just another way of connectivity for them. |