Parent volunteers who are nuts

[Anonymous]

Why the heck are these parents still volunteering at their kids school?? They are in high school for cripes sake. These parents need to get a life ( or a job but that would be asking to much of the private school mom crowd.) Pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The frequent attacks on the entire concept of volunteering at a school is one of the more surprising parts of DCUM.

Especially given the correlation between parent volunteering and child academic/life success.

I find this difficult to believe. Surely parental education level and income matters more? And highly educated, highly employed parents are not volunteering as much as SAHMs with a BA or even less.

You sound ridiculous. Most of the SAHMs I know have masters, law, or doctorate degrees. They are actually successful and wealthy enough to afford to stay home. I am one of these parents. I worked when younger but am wealthy enough to be able to stay at home with my kids in my late 30's and on as I always wanted to do. Most of the moms I know still working in their 50's and 60's can not afford to stay home.

Yeah that’s the problem though. These women need to be working instead of taking out their aggression at school mom clubs.

Agree. I’m 53. Still working and a self-made millionaire. Some of us prefer to work. You know to have an identity and sense of purpose outside of being a wife and a mother. My kids are in high school. They don’t need their mommy tagging along with them as a volunteer. Follow along if you can.

[Anonymous]

The two previous comments at 14:11 and 14:18 are laden with internalized sexism and condescension towards other women. I’m sad that there are women with such ugly attitudes towards women who have made different choices. The posters also make major assumptions about what drives women to volunteer at their children’s schools.

I volunteer at my children’s school as a fundraiser. My work helps enable scholarships for kids whose parents would otherwise be unable to afford the school.

I had a great career for 20 years but chose to become a SAHM mom because my husband and I felt it was more important to have a parent at home than to have the second income. One of our children had special needs, and as our kids got older it became clear that they needed more time and attention than two working parents could provide.

That choice came with financial sacrifices and occasional hardships until last year when we came into a significant inheritance. We would make the same choice again, even if we hadn’t had a financial windfall, because it was the best choice for our kids.

Our children’s schools have been great, supportive environments where our children have thrived, and we are grateful. In the years we didn’t have much money to donate, my volunteering was a way that I gave back to the schools.

As for “following our high school children around,” I have rarely seen my children during the times that I’ve been at school for meetings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The two previous comments at 14:11 and 14:18 are laden with internalized sexism and condescension towards other women. I’m sad that there are women with such ugly attitudes towards women who have made different choices. The posters also make major assumptions about what drives women to volunteer at their children’s schools.

I volunteer at my children’s school as a fundraiser. My work helps enable scholarships for kids whose parents would otherwise be unable to afford the school.

I had a great career for 20 years but chose to become a SAHM mom because my husband and I felt it was more important to have a parent at home than to have the second income. One of our children had special needs, and as our kids got older it became clear that they needed more time and attention than two working parents could provide.

That choice came with financial sacrifices and occasional hardships until last year when we came into a significant inheritance. We would make the same choice again, even if we hadn’t had a financial windfall, because it was the best choice for our kids.

Our children’s schools have been great, supportive environments where our children have thrived, and we are grateful. In the years we didn’t have much money to donate, my volunteering was a way that I gave back to the schools.

As for “following our high school children around,” I have rarely seen my children during the times that I’ve been at school for meetings.

I agree. Working women tend to be the most judgmental in this area. I also have been a stay at home mom as well and I have no regrets. We own businesses and I own properties so I do have an income and have my "own" money so I do not ask my husband for money as some working moms have rudely suggested to me. I probably have a higher income than most of them. That being said, while I do not volunteer as much now as they are older when they were younger those were some of the best memories with other parents and just being in the community. If it is done properly, volunteering can be very rewarding and a nice way to know the community besides just knowing them at evening cocktail events which is what some moms only attend. They missed out on a lot of things and should not judge others.

[Anonymous]

I love cutting a check or sending a Venmo or handing a $150 gift card to a teacher to show my appreciation. It is so much less stressful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why the heck are these parents still volunteering at their kids school?? They are in high school for cripes sake. These parents need to get a life ( or a job but that would be asking to much of the private school mom crowd.) Pathetic.

Does your school not need parent volunteers for anything?

Our HS isn’t asking for room parents or bake sales or the kinds of things we volunteered for in elementary, but the parents do a lot for the afterschool activities. My kid does theater. It’s parent volunteers who make sure dinner is provided to the students during the days when rehearsals go to 8 pm, or who host the wrap party, or organize and host the Cappies judges, and who sell refreshments during shows. I’m sure there are similar needs for parents to support sports teams or robotics competitions or whatever else.

Great for you that you have no need to support your school, but some of us like to make sure your kid as well as our own is fed or whatever else is needed. Some of us even do it on top of full time jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Volunteers can be crazy. I’ve seen it in Girl Scouts and neighborhood swim team. Such a turn off.

Couldn't agree more.

[Anonymous]

I look at these very angry, controlling type of parents as insecure. Pushing other parents around is how they feel better about themselves, which is rather empty way to live.

You can't control how other people act, but you can control your reaction to them. I go into observational mode around these crazy parents, not unlike Sir David Attenborough observing peacocks interacting the wild. Why are they doing this? What will they do next? What in their evolution has brought them to this point? Then I leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I look at these very angry, controlling type of parents as insecure. Pushing other parents around is how they feel better about themselves, which is rather empty way to live.

You can't control how other people act, but you can control your reaction to them. I go into observational mode around these crazy parents, not unlike Sir David Attenborough observing peacocks interacting the wild. Why are they doing this? What will they do next? What in their evolution has brought them to this point? Then I leave.

Love the David Attenborough reference. I’m a big fan.

However, the difference is that wild creatures doing their thing doesn’t impact you negatively most of the time.

Wild creatures in the PTA can wreak havoc.

[Anonymous]

Our HS has great volunteers! Most are working parents who aren’t there for their child necessarily, but for the community. We raise a tremendous amount of money that goes to support students and teachers.
We do many other fun activities that support teachers, students and the community at large.
So to those who have multiple responsibilities at home/work, and yet still make sure the school fundraisers and other activities are supported - thank you!!!

[Anonymous]

If history or the bible has taught us anything. We should not hate people based on race, gender, or religion. We should hate people for being complacent with starvation, corruption, and extrwme wealth inequality. I'm starting to hate rich people because the elements of a society that only gives socialism for the rich is not stable or something to be proud of. What what do you get for this corruption.

A corrupt medical industry, education industry, corrupt food industry, degraded fat racist morons who roam our vast Mcdonald walmart based economy without two brains to rub together.

Richers, thanks for ushering in another Trump Presidency in 2024. We only have you to thank. Enjoy your taxcuts. You can buy that third yacht or that 6th mansion you've always been talking about!

[Anonymous]

I think that pointing fingers to "work at home" vs "work outside the home" in this topic are misplaced. Challenging parents have come from both sides of this divide. And personally, parents who create this divide (on either side) should reflect.

In my experience challenging volunteers is more about the personality of the person and characteristics that include: awareness, insecurity, need to control, ability to delegate, personal baggage at the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that pointing fingers to "work at home" vs "work outside the home" in this topic are misplaced. Challenging parents have come from both sides of this divide. And personally, parents who create this divide (on either side) should reflect.

In my experience challenging volunteers is more about the personality of the person and characteristics that include: awareness, insecurity, need to control, ability to delegate, personal baggage at the time.

PS - I have also found that the best way to deal with this is to be gracious and recognize this person has other things going on that I don't know about, choose not to volunteer with such a person in the future, find a way to kindly get through the current situation where that person is in charge...and move on.

[Anonymous]

Private school teacher of 17 years here.

Most parent volunteers are well-intentioned and rational. However, every year there several lunatics. The lunatics spread gossip about the behavior, etc, of certain children to other parents, and I cannot fathom why they are permitted in classrooms and around children when we all see this happening. Every year I have at least one parent coming to me to complain that a parent volunteer is gossiping about their child or family, using information they learned at school. I can't stop it. Admin won't ban them, no matter what.

They also terrorize certain teachers, and I've seen several promising new teachers' careers and mental health destroyed by the Mean Mom volunteers and their incessant spying and attempts to draw other parents in to their Iago-like schemes.

I hate when a loonie Mean Mom volunteer tries to not-so-subtly milk me for info about other teachers or students.

Again, most parent volunteers are fine, but the bad apples cause so much stress and trouble that I would be thrilled if my school simply banned them all. It's sad, but there seems to be a certain type of Mean Mom who does this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If history or the bible has taught us anything. We should not hate people based on race, gender, or religion. We should hate people for being complacent with starvation, corruption, and extrwme wealth inequality. I'm starting to hate rich people because the elements of a society that only gives socialism for the rich is not stable or something to be proud of. What what do you get for this corruption.

A corrupt medical industry, education industry, corrupt food industry, degraded fat racist morons who roam our vast Mcdonald walmart based economy without two brains to rub together.

Richers, thanks for ushering in another Trump Presidency in 2024. We only have you to thank. Enjoy your taxcuts. You can buy that third yacht or that 6th mansion you've always been talking about!

Wrong thread?