Sad about no longer being attracted to DW

[Anonymous]

Meant look put together.

My kids also all seem to have moms who are relatively well put together. We live in an area with very few overweight people. My youngest is 7 and all her friends’ moms are thin, like size 2 thin. I’m a size 6, up from size 4, and I definitely feel chubby.

I recently told DH that he should get some new clothes. He doesn’t enjoy shopping and he wears a lot of clothes are a decade old. OP could suggest or maybe buy his wife some new clothes. As others have said, it is not just about weight. I have a rich overweight friend with a pretty face. You don’t even notice her weight. She is wealthy and wears nice clothes. Her kids are always the best dressed. I think hair makes a huge difference too.

[Anonymous]

Only trolls say "flame away!" Fail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some women's bodies don't bounce back from childbearing as some other women's bodies do.

Most regular working women don't have the multiple hours per day to put into fitness routines and cooking super clean healthy meals, even if her children and husband would eat that food if she did.

How much of the housekeeping and life management are you doing, OP? How much of the childcare and shuttling to activities are you doing? How much shopping and cooking? How much time are you giving her to sleep, to engage in fitness, etc?

There are seasons to life, OP. Sounds like you have most of what makes a very good marriage and your wife's body paid the price to give you two beautiful children.

So yeah, you can be sad that youth has passed you by and you and your wife aren't hotties anymore, but please don't expect an outpouring of sympathy.

We have a live-in nanny/housekeeper and I do my fair share of chores/childcare. We both exercise regularly. I think it comes down to eating too much. Or not cutting back with metabolism being slower.

If she exercises regularly, then she's "not letting herself go". I can see being annoyed if she's not trying. Likely her hormones are causing it. You have no idea what women go through to bear children and dthen peri-menopause/menopause. Grow up and care about the important things.

I hear the menopause argument from my overweight (200+ pounds) perimenopausal wife. My question is why don't ALl women have significant weight problems post-menopause.

Dude, did you just ask why all human females do not have the exact same biological response?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The idea that women (or anyone) can lose weight only if they have the time to work out and cook healthy food is a lie spread to sell stuff (like gym memberships, personal trainers, and expensive groceries) and to make people feel better about being fat. If you want to lose weight, you have to take in fewer calories than you burn. The most efficient way to do that is to eat less, which means developing better habits about your food consumption. Plus, eating less takes LESS time and costs LESS money. The amount your body burns in its resting state declines as you age, which means that to avoid gaining weight as you age, you have to also reduce the amount you eat. It's very simple, and the nutritionists who aren't trying to sell you some fad product know this.

You are stuck in bad science from the dark ages, poster. There is literally a mountain of medical research evidence that totally disproves the calories in/calories out (CICO) theory of weight loss. It is total bunk. It does not acknowledge the differences of calories sources nor the very complex interworkings of hormones and other factors in the body, and how very individual we are.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/stop-counting-calories

I could literally post links all day long that reiterate that CICO is total and complete bullshit. Only closed minded gym rats and people selling BS diet methods are still squawking CICO to people. Get with the times and the nutritional science.

New poster. Another thing to consider is that most medical studies were done on men, not women. For men it very well may be calories in calories out. Women have all of the hormonal changes throughout their life cycle.

Still doesn't change CICO, hormones may impact here and there, but overall your body is still using calories to survive. And burning calories is burring calories.

[Anonymous]

I had breast cancer and have to take an anti-estrogen pill. It caused me to gain weight. Most people give me a pass because cancer! But it really is the lack of estrogen that is similar to what happens in menopause.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some women's bodies don't bounce back from childbearing as some other women's bodies do.

Most regular working women don't have the multiple hours per day to put into fitness routines and cooking super clean healthy meals, even if her children and husband would eat that food if she did.

How much of the housekeeping and life management are you doing, OP? How much of the childcare and shuttling to activities are you doing? How much shopping and cooking? How much time are you giving her to sleep, to engage in fitness, etc?

There are seasons to life, OP. Sounds like you have most of what makes a very good marriage and your wife's body paid the price to give you two beautiful children.

So yeah, you can be sad that youth has passed you by and you and your wife aren't hotties anymore, but please don't expect an outpouring of sympathy.

We have a live-in nanny/housekeeper and I do my fair share of chores/childcare. We both exercise regularly. I think it comes down to eating too much. Or not cutting back with metabolism being slower.

If she exercises regularly, then she's "not letting herself go". I can see being annoyed if she's not trying. Likely her hormones are causing it. You have no idea what women go through to bear children and dthen peri-menopause/menopause. Grow up and care about the important things.

I hear the menopause argument from my overweight (200+ pounds) perimenopausal wife. My question is why don't ALl women have significant weight problems post-menopause.

Dude, did you just ask why all human females do not have the exact same biological response?

Ha. Some people are really very dumb.

[Anonymous]

OP, most women are more motivated to look good when they are complimented not criticized. So find something you like about your wife's appearance and compliment it. Tell her that you love when she wears [insert whatever you actually like on her that she feels confident in]. When you give her positive feedback on the things that you like, that will encourage her to do them more. (Assuming that you also put effort into your appearance).

[Anonymous]

put her on wegovy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The idea that women (or anyone) can lose weight only if they have the time to work out and cook healthy food is a lie spread to sell stuff (like gym memberships, personal trainers, and expensive groceries) and to make people feel better about being fat. If you want to lose weight, you have to take in fewer calories than you burn. The most efficient way to do that is to eat less, which means developing better habits about your food consumption. Plus, eating less takes LESS time and costs LESS money. The amount your body burns in its resting state declines as you age, which means that to avoid gaining weight as you age, you have to also reduce the amount you eat. It's very simple, and the nutritionists who aren't trying to sell you some fad product know this.

You are stuck in bad science from the dark ages, poster. There is literally a mountain of medical research evidence that totally disproves the calories in/calories out (CICO) theory of weight loss. It is total bunk. It does not acknowledge the differences of calories sources nor the very complex interworkings of hormones and other factors in the body, and how very individual we are.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/stop-counting-calories

I could literally post links all day long that reiterate that CICO is total and complete bullshit. Only closed minded gym rats and people selling BS diet methods are still squawking CICO to people. Get with the times and the nutritional science.

New poster. Another thing to consider is that most medical studies were done on men, not women. For men it very well may be calories in calories out. Women have all of the hormonal changes throughout their life cycle.

Still doesn't change CICO, hormones may impact here and there, but overall your body is still using calories to survive. And burning calories is burring calories.

Even just taking CICO, it takes some effort to figure out the right balance that will keep you full all day and not craving for other things. Then preparing that type of food actually takes time. "Just eat less" without more is not really a strategy for long term success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The idea that women (or anyone) can lose weight only if they have the time to work out and cook healthy food is a lie spread to sell stuff (like gym memberships, personal trainers, and expensive groceries) and to make people feel better about being fat. If you want to lose weight, you have to take in fewer calories than you burn. The most efficient way to do that is to eat less, which means developing better habits about your food consumption. Plus, eating less takes LESS time and costs LESS money. The amount your body burns in its resting state declines as you age, which means that to avoid gaining weight as you age, you have to also reduce the amount you eat. It's very simple, and the nutritionists who aren't trying to sell you some fad product know this.

You are stuck in bad science from the dark ages, poster. There is literally a mountain of medical research evidence that totally disproves the calories in/calories out (CICO) theory of weight loss. It is total bunk. It does not acknowledge the differences of calories sources nor the very complex interworkings of hormones and other factors in the body, and how very individual we are.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/stop-counting-calories

I could literally post links all day long that reiterate that CICO is total and complete bullshit. Only closed minded gym rats and people selling BS diet methods are still squawking CICO to people. Get with the times and the nutritional science.

New poster. Another thing to consider is that most medical studies were done on men, not women. For men it very well may be calories in calories out. Women have all of the hormonal changes throughout their life cycle.

Still doesn't change CICO, hormones may impact here and there, but overall your body is still using calories to survive. And burning calories is burring calories.

Oh okay, because you know better than all the obesity researchers and nutrional science researchers.

I bet you think your penis is above average size, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some women's bodies don't bounce back from childbearing as some other women's bodies do.

Most regular working women don't have the multiple hours per day to put into fitness routines and cooking super clean healthy meals, even if her children and husband would eat that food if she did.

How much of the housekeeping and life management are you doing, OP? How much of the childcare and shuttling to activities are you doing? How much shopping and cooking? How much time are you giving her to sleep, to engage in fitness, etc?

There are seasons to life, OP. Sounds like you have most of what makes a very good marriage and your wife's body paid the price to give you two beautiful children.

So yeah, you can be sad that youth has passed you by and you and your wife aren't hotties anymore, but please don't expect an outpouring of sympathy.

I know you're trying to be empathetic, but I honestly think some people just don't want to be healthy. It takes 2 minutes to open a can of tuna and dump it on a bed of kale.

It doesn't matter if you are fat or skinny, when you are old your skin is less attractive, you still have an unattractive stomach it's not pretty, your face has changed.

Being overweight does not make you any less attractive than basic age. At least to people who are superficial.

I'm not dumpling tuna on kale to still be old and unattractive. Bleck, disgusting.

No one is pretending that a 55yo is at their "peak." But to write that aging automatically makes you unattractive is just pathetic and defeatist.

I’m sorry if the truth hurts, but the reality is no matter how thin and in shape you are, you are wrinkly, have cellulite and stretch marks.

But sure pretend skinny is prettier.

Okay you’re a 5 instead of a 4 congrats!

But my weekends are a 10 and your are a 4

Are you ok? This reaction is really troubling.

[Anonymous]

Comparison plots of attractiveness as a function of BMI, comparing the attractiveness functions of raters from the low SES environment with raters from the high SES environment. Each point represents the average attractiveness judgements made by a group for a particular image.

[Anonymous]

Have you always been a male model?

Did you only marry her for her body when you first met?

As someone who has been married to a man who has struggled with his weight in adulthood but finally got to a healthier weight and sustained it, I have maintained my attraction to him by being attracted to more than just his body. Of course it’s been easier since he lost 60 lbs, but I didn’t expect perfection when I married him. You shouldn’t have either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The idea that women (or anyone) can lose weight only if they have the time to work out and cook healthy food is a lie spread to sell stuff (like gym memberships, personal trainers, and expensive groceries) and to make people feel better about being fat. If you want to lose weight, you have to take in fewer calories than you burn. The most efficient way to do that is to eat less, which means developing better habits about your food consumption. Plus, eating less takes LESS time and costs LESS money. The amount your body burns in its resting state declines as you age, which means that to avoid gaining weight as you age, you have to also reduce the amount you eat. It's very simple, and the nutritionists who aren't trying to sell you some fad product know this.

You are stuck in bad science from the dark ages, poster. There is literally a mountain of medical research evidence that totally disproves the calories in/calories out (CICO) theory of weight loss. It is total bunk. It does not acknowledge the differences of calories sources nor the very complex interworkings of hormones and other factors in the body, and how very individual we are.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/stop-counting-calories

I could literally post links all day long that reiterate that CICO is total and complete bullshit. Only closed minded gym rats and people selling BS diet methods are still squawking CICO to people. Get with the times and the nutritional science.

New poster. Another thing to consider is that most medical studies were done on men, not women. For men it very well may be calories in calories out. Women have all of the hormonal changes throughout their life cycle.

Still doesn't change CICO, hormones may impact here and there, but overall your body is still using calories to survive. And burning calories is burring calories.

You’re right. It’s mostly just that this information is completely useless as far as practical information.
It’s like telling someone that the way to win a basketball game is to score more points than the other team.

Technically, it’s true. But it isn’t information that’s going to make anyone a better basketball player. It’s just a useless utterance made by someone who doesn’t have a lot of information and is trying to be an a+!hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The idea that women (or anyone) can lose weight only if they have the time to work out and cook healthy food is a lie spread to sell stuff (like gym memberships, personal trainers, and expensive groceries) and to make people feel better about being fat. If you want to lose weight, you have to take in fewer calories than you burn. The most efficient way to do that is to eat less, which means developing better habits about your food consumption. Plus, eating less takes LESS time and costs LESS money. The amount your body burns in its resting state declines as you age, which means that to avoid gaining weight as you age, you have to also reduce the amount you eat. It's very simple, and the nutritionists who aren't trying to sell you some fad product know this.

You are stuck in bad science from the dark ages, poster. There is literally a mountain of medical research evidence that totally disproves the calories in/calories out (CICO) theory of weight loss. It is total bunk. It does not acknowledge the differences of calories sources nor the very complex interworkings of hormones and other factors in the body, and how very individual we are.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/stop-counting-calories

I could literally post links all day long that reiterate that CICO is total and complete bullshit. Only closed minded gym rats and people selling BS diet methods are still squawking CICO to people. Get with the times and the nutritional science.

New poster. Another thing to consider is that most medical studies were done on men, not women. For men it very well may be calories in calories out. Women have all of the hormonal changes throughout their life cycle.

Still doesn't change CICO, hormones may impact here and there, but overall your body is still using calories to survive. And burning calories is burring calories.

You’re right. It’s mostly just that this information is completely useless as far as practical information.
It’s like telling someone that the way to win a basketball game is to score more points than the other team.

Technically, it’s true. But it isn’t information that’s going to make anyone a better basketball player. It’s just a useless utterance made by someone who doesn’t have a lot of information and is trying to be an a+!hole.

Exactly! If OP just wants to be right he can give his wife a lecture about CICO (as though his wife is completely unfamiliar with the concept), but if he wants to be happy that’s a terrible way to go.