Is it cultural appropriation for my (white) DD to wear beads in her hair?

[Anonymous]

We literally did this in the 80's. It's a generational thing, not about race.

[Anonymous]

You all are missing the point that these braids won't stay in her hair at all if she has straight hair. Just explain to her that her black friends have a different hair texture, and the tight braids both help protect their hair from getting too dry, and they also stay in the tight braids because their hair is a different texture. Her hair won't stay in small tight braids because it's smooth and would slip out of the braid. But you can thread a few beads into a few single braids in her hair, or do braided pig tails with beaded hair ties so she looks a little more like her friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all are missing the point that these braids won't stay in her hair at all if she has straight hair. Just explain to her that her black friends have a different hair texture, and the tight braids both help protect their hair from getting too dry, and they also stay in the tight braids because their hair is a different texture. Her hair won't stay in small tight braids because it's smooth and would slip out of the braid. But you can thread a few beads into a few single braids in her hair, or do braided pig tails with beaded hair ties so she looks a little more like her friends.

Did you read the question? Nobody is missing an irrelevant point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all are missing the point that these braids won't stay in her hair at all if she has straight hair. Just explain to her that her black friends have a different hair texture, and the tight braids both help protect their hair from getting too dry, and they also stay in the tight braids because their hair is a different texture. Her hair won't stay in small tight braids because it's smooth and would slip out of the braid. But you can thread a few beads into a few single braids in her hair, or do braided pig tails with beaded hair ties so she looks a little more like her friends.

Maybe I missed it, but do we know the OP’s daughter’s hair texture? You know white people don’t all have the same hair, right?

(Also agree that your point is irrelevant anyway.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White kids still come back from Cancun with braids and beads in lower elementary grades and everyone says it's cute. Have her ask a friend or their mom if they think it's OK and can recommend
someone. If they like the idea go for it because it's a short window she can share this cultural experience without backlash.

You are stupid no it is not "cute".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not cultural appropriation for a white kid to put beads in her hair, but you should not actually get her whole head braided, because it's a lot of effort for a style that won't last long enough on her hair to be worth it. I'd do a single braid across the front (headband braid?) and put some beads on the end, not a whole head.

FWIW, my black daughter comes home asking for certain looks/styles that are not as achievable on her hair and we do what we can to make her feel like she's getting something similar to her friends and talk about how everything doesn't work the same for everybody. Such is life.

+1. The point is to allow kids to share and fit in where they can while also educating them on any cultural significance so they can have appreciation and be respectful. Additionally, making sure they have pride in their own individual traits and values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all are missing the point that these braids won't stay in her hair at all if she has straight hair. Just explain to her that her black friends have a different hair texture, and the tight braids both help protect their hair from getting too dry, and they also stay in the tight braids because their hair is a different texture. Her hair won't stay in small tight braids because it's smooth and would slip out of the braid. But you can thread a few beads into a few single braids in her hair, or do braided pig tails with beaded hair ties so she looks a little more like her friends.

So what? doesn’t mean she can’t try it and see. If her hair is curly it might stay for a few days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all are missing the point that these braids won't stay in her hair at all if she has straight hair. Just explain to her that her black friends have a different hair texture, and the tight braids both help protect their hair from getting too dry, and they also stay in the tight braids because their hair is a different texture. Her hair won't stay in small tight braids because it's smooth and would slip out of the braid. But you can thread a few beads into a few single braids in her hair, or do braided pig tails with beaded hair ties so she looks a little more like her friends.

I’m the PP whose best friend’s Black mom did my hair up in braids. My hair is straight and blonde but I have a lot of it. Idk what magic she worked, but it stayed. It didn’t last as long as my friend’s braids did, but it did stay for a few days. It got fuzzy after that and we took them out. But I did love those few days!

That having been said you are absolutely correct about texture. It’s why my braids never lasted as long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all are missing the point that these braids won't stay in her hair at all if she has straight hair. Just explain to her that her black friends have a different hair texture, and the tight braids both help protect their hair from getting too dry, and they also stay in the tight braids because their hair is a different texture. Her hair won't stay in small tight braids because it's smooth and would slip out of the braid. But you can thread a few beads into a few single braids in her hair, or do braided pig tails with beaded hair ties so she looks a little more like her friends.

Maybe I missed it, but do we know the OP’s daughter’s hair texture? You know white people don’t all have the same hair, right?

(Also agree that your point is irrelevant anyway.)

White people can have coarse hair.

<returns to picking out knots>

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3/4 of DD's best friends at school are Black, and DD came home asking for braids with beads like her friends. I feel uncomfortable saying yes, DH doesn't think it would be a big deal.

I would love to hear thoughts both on if you think this would be ok and also would welcome suggestions on if you think it's not ok, how to explain to DD (she's 5). We have the book Hair Love, and have talked about race, but not sure how to explain cultural appropriation vs. appreciation in an age-appropriate manner. Any other books that may be helpful?

It is not, but unfortunately some people will have a problem with it. I think it is so silly things have gotten to this point. I am black and I don't see the issue. I think some people might think you are mocking them, but I don't see that.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s cultural appropriation unless you are claiming it as your own invention or heritage, when you have no link to that culture, and profiting from it thereby.

Doing a small child’s hair in braids and beads isn’t that. Go for it. As others said unless her hair is unusual for a white kid, it won’t stay in more than a few days anyway, and chances are neither of you is going to want to put in the effort of redoing it twice a week to keep it long term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White kids still come back from Cancun with braids and beads in lower elementary grades and everyone says it's cute. Have her ask a friend or their mom if they think it's OK and can recommend
someone. If they like the idea go for it because it's a short window she can share this cultural experience without backlash.

You are stupid no it is not "cute".

No one cares what a bitter, illiterate troll thinks is cute or not cute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone who knows what cultural appropriation is, please post definition and example.

No one willing to bite?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What?! No.

You a dumb troll.

Why you gotta be like that when she is asking a legit question in a respectful manner? Act like a human being!

[Anonymous]

Eastern European here, we braid hair a lot. So do the French. We don’t sleep with braids in, though. Of course you can braid her hair, OP.