Is it cultural appropriation for my (white) DD to wear beads in her hair?

[Anonymous]

3/4 of DD's best friends at school are Black, and DD came home asking for braids with beads like her friends. I feel uncomfortable saying yes, DH doesn't think it would be a big deal.

I would love to hear thoughts both on if you think this would be ok and also would welcome suggestions on if you think it's not ok, how to explain to DD (she's 5). We have the book Hair Love, and have talked about race, but not sure how to explain cultural appropriation vs. appreciation in an age-appropriate manner. Any other books that may be helpful?

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, I don't think it is ok. But it is going to be tough to explain to such a young child (hell, there will likely be adults here who won't understand). I'll let other mothers weigh in on how to do that.

[Anonymous]

What?! No.

You a dumb troll.

[Anonymous]

Of course not. She can do colored thread though.

[Anonymous]

She can do a couple braids or a french braid with some beads put in. And of course threads or fairy hair. But no to box braids and corn rows.

[Anonymous]

White kids still come back from Cancun with braids and beads in lower elementary grades and everyone says it's cute. Have her ask a friend or their mom if they think it's OK and can recommend someone. If they like the idea go for it because it's a short window she can share this cultural experience without backlash.

[Anonymous]

I would talk to her bestfriends' parents to get their advices, rather than the Caucasian parents here in DCUM.

[Anonymous]

It's not cultural appropriation for a white kid to put beads in her hair, but you should not actually get her whole head braided, because it's a lot of effort for a style that won't last long enough on her hair to be worth it. I'd do a single braid across the front (headband braid?) and put some beads on the end, not a whole head.

FWIW, my black daughter comes home asking for certain looks/styles that are not as achievable on her hair and we do what we can to make her feel like she's getting something similar to her friends and talk about how everything doesn't work the same for everybody. Such is life.

[Anonymous]

Try telling her straight texture hair will not hold a tight braid very well?

[Anonymous]

For god’s sake it’s fine. Stop making race the end all be all of everything. We’re confusing the hell out of our kids by constantly talking out both sides of our mouths here.

[Anonymous]

It's not fine. it's cultural appropriation. Full stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For god’s sake it’s fine. Stop making race the end all be all of everything. We’re confusing the hell out of our kids by constantly talking out both sides of our mouths here.

You're not confusing anyone; we can see you're a racist.

[Anonymous]

Invite a friend over to help do the beads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For god’s sake it’s fine. Stop making race the end all be all of everything. We’re confusing the hell out of our kids by constantly talking out both sides of our mouths here.

You're not confusing anyone; we can see you're a racist.

And you are a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not fine. it's cultural appropriation. Full stop.

It’s no more cultural appropriation than Black people dying their hair blonde. It’s a fashion choice. I think she would look ridiculous with a whole head of beads plus she’s 5 years old. Just tell her not right now.