WWYD - 13 yr old just binged on an entire bag of Oreo cookies

[Anonymous]

My kid wants sugary dessert every night. That’s not healthy either. People piling on OP for restricting sweets aren’t being entirely realistic. She wants to teach good habits. Letting her kid eat dessert every day is not going to lead her son to not being obsessed with sugar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP may be missing the point. While kids may eat too much junk food, drink too much soda and play video games too late at night, the kids who were raised to help make their own decisions earlier in life are making better decisions on their own as a teen.

Same argument holds true for the college students that experience “freedom” their freshman year.

No, I think you're missing the point. Some kids who have overly permissive parents end up dead before they make it very far into their teens or make it to college.

Holy overreaction. OP is talking about a bag of Oreos and somehow that is connected to overly permissive parents and dead teens…? This is next level catastrophic thinking.

Jaysus you are ridiculous. Read the post to which I was responding. "Kids may [make bad decisions] .... but kids who make their own decisions early in life are making better decisions on their own as a teen." That's totally wrong. Lots of kids who have absent or permissive parents that make their own decisions in life make the wrong ones, sometimes fatally so.

A parent who is supporting their kid and guiding them in learning to make decisions is the exact opposite of being "absent".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can’t believe OP you are so defensive when you yourself said:

When we found out he said he just couldn't control himself around the Oreos.

Obviously, your desire to control your teenager failed. This is just the start unless you change your mindset. (Looks unlikely based on your nasty follow up posts).

What a completely incoherent post.

[Anonymous]

Woah. Dh and I are incredibly healthy. Dh had bought boxes of Girl Scout cookies in one setting. This sounds so dysfunctional. What do you think he’ll do when he’s on his own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP may be missing the point. While kids may eat too much junk food, drink too much soda and play video games too late at night, the kids who were raised to help make their own decisions earlier in life are making better decisions on their own as a teen.

Same argument holds true for the college students that experience “freedom” their freshman year.

No, I think you're missing the point. Some kids who have overly permissive parents end up dead before they make it very far into their teens or make it to college.

Holy overreaction. OP is talking about a bag of Oreos and somehow that is connected to overly permissive parents and dead teens…? This is next level catastrophic thinking.

Jaysus you are ridiculous. Read the post to which I was responding. "Kids may [make bad decisions] .... but kids who make their own decisions early in life are making better decisions on their own as a teen." That's totally wrong. Lots of kids who have absent or permissive parents that make their own decisions in life make the wrong ones, sometimes fatally so.

A parent who is supporting their kid and guiding them in learning to make decisions is the exact opposite of being "absent".

And what do you think teaching a child to eat sugar in moderation would be?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

No one is saying kids should be allowed to eat six pints of ice cream in one sitting, OP. But junk food once a week is way too restrictive. It's okay to have a few Oreos or similar as a snack after school everyday.

You guys can't read. That's exactly what we do. I said we allow treats in moderation not that we exclude them altogether.

Then we had a bunch of parents chime in saying enforcing moderation is "restricting" food. Um, junk food isn't real food. It should be restricted.

The nuance that's missing here is that we need to teach our kids to eat in moderation. I have always allowed my kid unrestricted access to all foods. Favorite part of a happy meal was the apples. He'll often tell me I gave him too many chips. He'll eat the fruit on the plate and take a bite out of the cookie. He'll probably never want to eat 6 pints of ice cream because he knows half a pint will give him a stomach ache. We've allowed him to have all the experiences with all the food so that he can use that experience to make his own decisions about what he puts in his body.

Well that's just your kid. I'm not on team OP, because she sounds like a loon, but some kids do have issues with eating too much junk if it's available to them, and won't eat the apples in a happy meal. I think most kids would skip the apples actually. I work in elementary schools and most of the fruit is thrown away. One of my kids eats nothing but sugar whenever he's home alone for the day. He has a sweet tooth and no common sense, even though we have plenty of desserts, ice cream, cookies, etc available all the time. That's just his personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Woah. Dh and I are incredibly healthy. Dh had bought boxes of Girl Scout cookies in one setting. This sounds so dysfunctional. What do you think he’ll do when he’s on his own.

Woah. What a doofus post. Dh bought boxes of cookies in one setting? Was it a picturesque setting?

[Anonymous]

Having dessert once a week is not normal. I have three kids and we all eat pretty healthy and definitely don’t have dessert every day…but once a week is really rigid and restrictive. And I agree with PPs that you are setting your kid up for an unhealthy relationship with food. Which it sounds like you have OP.

My kids all eat lots of veggies, whole grains and also enjoy sweets. But all do a good job of “listening to their body” and don’t gorge…ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP may be missing the point. While kids may eat too much junk food, drink too much soda and play video games too late at night, the kids who were raised to help make their own decisions earlier in life are making better decisions on their own as a teen.

Same argument holds true for the college students that experience “freedom” their freshman year.

No, I think you're missing the point. Some kids who have overly permissive parents end up dead before they make it very far into their teens or make it to college.

Are you comparing this thread, cookies and screen time with parental controls for vaping, alcohol and o noly fans?

I am more and more convinced this is a troll inciting a mental heath issue.

How do you incite a mental health issue? Inquiring minds want to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having dessert once a week is not normal. I have three kids and we all eat pretty healthy and definitely don’t have dessert every day…but once a week is really rigid and restrictive. And I agree with PPs that you are setting your kid up for an unhealthy relationship with food. Which it sounds like you have OP.

My kids all eat lots of veggies, whole grains and also enjoy sweets. But all do a good job of “listening to their body” and don’t gorge…ever.

Of course all kids are just like your kids, right? The only "normal" way to have dessert is several times a week? You sound like a freak to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

No one is saying kids should be allowed to eat six pints of ice cream in one sitting, OP. But junk food once a week is way too restrictive. It's okay to have a few Oreos or similar as a snack after school everyday.

You guys can't read. That's exactly what we do. I said we allow treats in moderation not that we exclude them altogether.

Then we had a bunch of parents chime in saying enforcing moderation is "restricting" food. Um, junk food isn't real food. It should be restricted.

The nuance that's missing here is that we need to teach our kids to eat in moderation. I have always allowed my kid unrestricted access to all foods. Favorite part of a happy meal was the apples. He'll often tell me I gave him too many chips. He'll eat the fruit on the plate and take a bite out of the cookie. He'll probably never want to eat 6 pints of ice cream because he knows half a pint will give him a stomach ache. We've allowed him to have all the experiences with all the food so that he can use that experience to make his own decisions about what he puts in his body.

Well that's just your kid. I'm not on team OP, because she sounds like a loon, but some kids do have issues with eating too much junk if it's available to them, and won't eat the apples in a happy meal. I think most kids would skip the apples actually. I work in elementary schools and most of the fruit is thrown away. One of my kids eats nothing but sugar whenever he's home alone for the day. He has a sweet tooth and no common sense, even though we have plenty of desserts, ice cream, cookies, etc available all the time. That's just his personality.

Well I only buy Happy Meals for the apples myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

No one is saying kids should be allowed to eat six pints of ice cream in one sitting, OP. But junk food once a week is way too restrictive. It's okay to have a few Oreos or similar as a snack after school everyday.

You guys can't read. That's exactly what we do. I said we allow treats in moderation not that we exclude them altogether.

Then we had a bunch of parents chime in saying enforcing moderation is "restricting" food. Um, junk food isn't real food. It should be restricted.

The nuance that's missing here is that we need to teach our kids to eat in moderation. I have always allowed my kid unrestricted access to all foods. Favorite part of a happy meal was the apples. He'll often tell me I gave him too many chips. He'll eat the fruit on the plate and take a bite out of the cookie. He'll probably never want to eat 6 pints of ice cream because he knows half a pint will give him a stomach ache. We've allowed him to have all the experiences with all the food so that he can use that experience to make his own decisions about what he puts in his body.

Well that's just your kid. I'm not on team OP, because she sounds like a loon, but some kids do have issues with eating too much junk if it's available to them, and won't eat the apples in a happy meal. I think most kids would skip the apples actually. I work in elementary schools and most of the fruit is thrown away. One of my kids eats nothing but sugar whenever he's home alone for the day. He has a sweet tooth and no common sense, even though we have plenty of desserts, ice cream, cookies, etc available all the time. That's just his personality.

I agree. Many kids cannot handle unrestricted sugar and will choose it whether or not the family has desert every night. It's too simplistic to say that moderation automatically leads to better choices. People with multiple kids in the same household will probably see different eating predispositions.

One problem with sugar is the more you eat it, the more you can tolerate. Whereas if most of your sugary desserts are things like homemade cookies or cake with 2/3 the sugar, when you try the regular strength desserts, they taste too sweet and not as good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid wants sugary dessert every night. That’s not healthy either. People piling on OP for restricting sweets aren’t being entirely realistic. She wants to teach good habits. Letting her kid eat dessert every day is not going to lead her son to not being obsessed with sugar.

There’s nothing wrong with a bit of dessert every day. I am naturally thin and have a sweet tooth. My kids are also thin/athletic. They like a little treat after dinner which doesn’t mean huge bowls of ice cream, but maybe a little cup of rice pudding or a handful of gummy bears or a little bit of fruit sorbet. We find ways to reasonably satisfy the sweet craving instead of winding up with kids spending allowance money on Oreos and then crushing a bag in 24 hours. Sugar is nbd to my kids, they will even pass up cake at birthday parties if they’re not hungry.

But having dessert is part of a bigger picture of meal times. From a young age we’ve talked about listening to hunger cues, eating enough protein, enjoying foods in moderation, eating a variety of foods, etc. Meals and snacks are eaten at the kitchen table. They don’t just mindlessly wander the house shoving food in their face. They also are really good water drinks — sometimes hunger is actually thirst, so they know to drink during the day.

My parents gave me a lot of leeway with food growing up and I’m still a size 2 in my 40s after having 3 babies. Better to help kids learn food autonomy early on so they can balance food intake as an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

I think you misunderstand. We have cheez-its, pita chips, sugary cereal, chocolate chip granola bars, ice cream, cookies - store bought and homemade, etc. All these things are in the pantry all the time. Along with the 2/3 full bins of Halloween candy my kids still have. They don’t eat it in excess. They have a small bowl of Lucky charms and then have yogurt or ask me to make some eggs. They eat a bowl of chips or 1 granola bar and a piece of fruit. We have no rules around food because they don’t binge. The only time I have to step in and tell the kids to take it easy on sweets and snacks is when they have friends over from houses that limit food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who among us has not done such a thing?

I was still doing this in college and I'm a normal, healthy weight. OP, you're psycho!