One and done families and snow day whining

[Anonymous]

How strange. My one and done (not by choice) happily plays with neighbors all day on snow days. Isn’t that what all kids do when it snows? Why the need for structured play dates?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is so hard to be a one and done family publicly, when you know that privately all you ever wanted and tried for (and nearly broke your body and savings for) was for a second child. And you know that people out there are either judging you as selfish for choosing to have only one, or looking down at you with pity you for (correctly) assuming you can’t have another. When your beloved only child cries on a the snow day because all they want is a sibling, posts like OP’s really twist that knife.

Wow, dramatic much? I have an only and not by choice. I don’t hide the fact that we wanted more and I don’t think anyone looks down at me with pity. Don’t you have neighbors? Make the best of it because your attitude may be rubbing off on your child. Mine loves being an only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is so hard to be a one and done family publicly, when you know that privately all you ever wanted and tried for (and nearly broke your body and savings for) was for a second child. And you know that people out there are either judging you as selfish for choosing to have only one, or looking down at you with pity you for (correctly) assuming you can’t have another. When your beloved only child cries on a the snow day because all they want is a sibling, posts like OP’s really twist that knife.

Wow, dramatic much? I have an only and not by choice. I don’t hide the fact that we wanted more and I don’t think anyone looks down at me with pity. Don’t you have neighbors? Make the best of it because your attitude may be rubbing off on your child. Mine loves being an only.

Sigh, let's all take a deep breath here. My only not by choice also loves being an only, and no I don't think anyone looks down at us with pity either. But it is harder for some to let go of the infertility PTSD and ignore comments like the OP's. Kindly, original PP, the immediate PP is correct that you seem to be projecting and your attitude may be impacting your child more than you realize. People do judge families with 1, but they also judge families with 3+ kids. You can't make those people or OP happy, so ignore them and be proactive with organizing playdates for your child. As you can see from the replies, most sane families are happy to have their kids get together with friends as long as their schedule allows. Be the mom that hosts all of the kids (if you can!) and hopefully your child will see the positive in being able to spend the day with the friends of their choosing. By choice or not, every family structure has silver linings if you look for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is so hard to be a one and done family publicly, when you know that privately all you ever wanted and tried for (and nearly broke your body and savings for) was for a second child. And you know that people out there are either judging you as selfish for choosing to have only one, or looking down at you with pity you for (correctly) assuming you can’t have another. When your beloved only child cries on a the snow day because all they want is a sibling, posts like OP’s really twist that knife.

I don't know why you would write this when literally ALL of the replies are so supportive of one and done families. You took offense at the OP but did not take solace in all the posts BLASTING OP? WTF?

[Anonymous]

Well, get ready because tomorrow is another snow day! Make your plans now.

[Anonymous]

Some kids are easy and if I have those kids over I know my kids will play with them for hours and I will barely need to help with anything.

Some kids require constant supervision, even 4th graders. Standing on couches. Throwing my pillows. Opening every single cabinet and drawer. I don’t invite those kids on snow days because I need to work while listening in case the kids need me.

I don’t find any correlation between play date behavior and number of siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an insane reaction to someone asking about a playdate.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How strange. My one and done (not by choice) happily plays with neighbors all day on snow days. Isn’t that what all kids do when it snows? Why the need for structured play dates?

Those are play dates.

Playing with neighbors requires being out at the same time, and going inside eventually because it's freezing. So you need some coordination. Younger kids need some supervision.

[Anonymous]

I'm not one and done. But my 10 year old girl and 13 year old boy are not playing with each other on snow days. And I actively seek a playdate for the 10 year old girl so the kids can occupy each other. If a playdate doesn't work for you just say no. You don't need to be mad about it.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if OP got the same text I got this week. I know what they're talking about .. we know people like this, have been asked at least five times over the past two years to just have their child over so they can go to a concert, go out together, do XYZ, work on a snow day .... and by their logic it doesn't make sense to hire a sitter for "just one kid."

Their kid is not easy, fights with my DS who is the same age and we are never going to ask them to return the favor because we have several kids they would need to watch .... we are also not that close to them, personally or geographically and they have at least five families on their block with same age kids .. it does get old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tired of hearing people with multiple children complain about their choices

+1

[Anonymous]

You can just say no to the play date, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so tired of the one and done by choice families I know complaining about how their kids won't let them get anything done on snow days and especially on holidays where they chose not to put their kids in camp. No, your child cannot have a play date on those days just because you need a way to occupy them. I have two children who like each other and play together and that's how we get through these days. YOU NEED TO COME UP WITH A PLAN THAT DOES NOT INVOLVE OTHER CHILDREN. You can't use me as your backup plan. I have a job and my own two kids to look after. Nope, just stop.

They just need to come up with a plan that doesn't involve you. Classic DCUM biotch right here, folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I happily invite other children over, and if they say no, that’s perfectly fine.

But go ahead and blame all parents of only children for one bad experience you’re having.

Seriously like how many people are asking the op for playdates

[Anonymous]

My kid is a teen in hs now but when they were little we had another family we'd trade half days or days with and it worked great.

We moved and I ended up hosting a lot of kids off and on, which was no problem.

I also didn't really have a problem managing my own kid or both kids. My work is flexible but also, this just wasn't challenging personality-wise.

I think you need to back down with your tone and your assumptions and just tell this person or people you are not available for playdates with them ever ("by choice" - honestly?! wow!).