One and done families and snow day whining

[Anonymous]

I often find the built-in playmate of having two kids a real win, especially on days when I have to WFH and watch the kids. But I haven't experienced any one-and-done friends trying to pawn their kids off on anyone. Usually, they are a two-parent household handling one kid and can take turns playing with the kid or put the kid in front of a screen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so tired of the one and done by choice families I know complaining about how their kids won't let them get anything done on snow days and especially on holidays where they chose not to put their kids in camp. No, your child cannot have a play date on those days just because you need a way to occupy them. I have two children who like each other and play together and that's how we get through these days. YOU NEED TO COME UP WITH A PLAN THAT DOES NOT INVOLVE OTHER CHILDREN. You can't use me as your backup plan. I have a job and my own two kids to look after. Nope, just stop.

You chose to have two kids and a job. Why are you whining about it? YOU NEEED TO COME UP WITH A PLAN THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE TANTRUMS ON THE INTERNET!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an insane reaction to someone asking about a playdate.

+1 we have two kids but I sent one to a playdate with an only child neighbor friend. It was great! My kids love to play together but they also squabble etc and variety is nice. It was win-win for all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about the one and done not by choice families? Do we get to complain? What about all of the 2-3 kid families that were complaining on social media yesterday? Do they get to complain because they had the right number of kids according to you?

My only child loves a lazy day at home, but playing in the snow is just more fun with another kid. Luckily our friends and neighbors aren't so judgmental and she had a lovely day meeting up with friends to go sledding, then playing outside with the neighbors. Sometimes we even swap hosting with friends so we take their kids for half the day and they take mine for the other half.

We've done this too. Not for snow days but for scheduled PD days where all the adults still have to work but kids are off. If you live near each other, it can work okay. I prefer to just handle it ourselves so we don't have to work with other people's schedules and expectations, but I recognize it's more fun for the kids when they can spend the day with a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is an insane reaction to someone asking about a playdate.

+1 I'll add that as a parent of a single, 5 year old child, the idea that OP *knows* that all these parents are one and done by choice is idiotic. No one is going to share with someone as nasty and judgmental as OP that they are facing secondary infertility.

Agreed, OP claiming to know it's all "by choice" is just one of many insane elements of the post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is an insane reaction to someone asking about a playdate.

+1 I'll add that as a parent of a single, 5 year old child, the idea that OP *knows* that all these parents are one and done by choice is idiotic. No one is going to share with someone as nasty and judgmental as OP that they are facing secondary infertility.

This. You don't know who is one and done by choice anymore than you know who had their youngest on purpose or by accident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about the one and done not by choice families? Do we get to complain? What about all of the 2-3 kid families that were complaining on social media yesterday? Do they get to complain because they had the right number of kids according to you?

My only child loves a lazy day at home, but playing in the snow is just more fun with another kid. Luckily our friends and neighbors aren't so judgmental and she had a lovely day meeting up with friends to go sledding, then playing outside with the neighbors. Sometimes we even swap hosting with friends so we take their kids for half the day and they take mine for the other half.

Exactly! I'm a multiple-kid PP and we loved meeting up and having playdates with the kids' friends - it was fun and occupied them. Families with only children and 2+ kids were all chatting/messaging about meeting up etc. Not everyone is a Grinch! It actually felt like a neighborhood community day of socializing and also helping each other out as working parents juggling everything.

[Anonymous]

Op, they ask. You answer.
You don't need to consider it an attack.

[Anonymous]

I know several families who were scrambling yesterday because their younger child's daycare was open but their older child's school was not, and would have been thrilled at the suggestion of a playdate with an only child friend. I also know one SAHM of an only who hosted FIVE kids at her house yesterday because she didn't have to work and they have a huge basement with lots of activities for kids and a yard with a slope for mini-sledding. So she just provided a bunch of neighborhood families with free childcare for the day. I'm sure at least part of her motivation was for her own kid to have someone to play with, but I can't imagine being mad at someone for offering to watch your kid all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol in my group of friends it is definitely the parents of multiples who are being driven crazy by their kids on snow days when they are trying to work! I have two kids but we usually have a friend or two over on no school days. That's part of the fun! At least that's how I grew up

This. I have an only and the most frequent playdate requests are from middle/youngest children whose parents are fed up. We even know somebody who asks for playdates but "cannot" host because there is a sibling to deal with.

[Anonymous]

I am with you OP

My neighbor had her kid come to my house while she worked in elementary school. I was the dummy that thought our daughters were friends.

5th grade hits and her kid decides she no longer wants to be friends with my DD. Do not get me wrong here. I have more than one kid I absolutely understand friendships change that was not why I was upset. I was more upset that the mother still tried to use me. ie early dismissal, late mornings, snow days etc...

. But after someone's birthday party when the mother of the birthday kid asked me to drive my neigbor home because it was late and storming and she would have had to go miles out of her way, I was in the wrong because her crap kid wanted a ride from the birthday family. I could not beleive she called me and said I should have let the birthday parent drive her kid home. Wouldn't I have preferred that too? Of course. But did she get out of bed at midnight and pick up her kid nope....

Learned my lesson.

[Anonymous]

One year our neighborhood was snowed-in for several days. I managed to make a new Mom friend and my daughter made a new friend. I remembered there was a girl in DD's grade that lived up the street. They didn't know each other well. I didn't know the Mom but I called her. We figured out a way be give each other a break, trade-off watching the girls for the next couple days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so tired of the one and done by choice families I know complaining about how their kids won't let them get anything done on snow days and especially on holidays where they chose not to put their kids in camp. No, your child cannot have a play date on those days just because you need a way to occupy them. I have two children who like each other and play together and that's how we get through these days. YOU NEED TO COME UP WITH A PLAN THAT DOES NOT INVOLVE OTHER CHILDREN. You can't use me as your backup plan. I have a job and my own two kids to look after. Nope, just stop.

Go get yourself a cookie, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an insane reaction to someone asking about a playdate.

+ 1

One of my kids had a play date with an only child neighbor while the other played outside with other neighbors. My kids are close-ish in age but also have their own friendships and shouldn’t be forced to just play with each other for my benefit.

Also if a play date doesn’t work for our schedule we simply decline. Or sometimes I’ll invite a couple kids over here to help entertain both my kids.

OP’s superiority complex over the one and done parents is so gross.

[Anonymous]

This is a you problem, OP.