millennials terrible parents

[Anonymous]

I do think a lot of "millennial" parenting is really bad but I promise you, hitting kids isn't the answer.

I'm a millennial parent and I'm not perfect but my kids are, according to their teachers, very well-behaved. I never spanked them, I ascribe to the "discipline not punishment" mentality, I believe in teaching emotional regulation skills, etc. But I think were a lot of millenial parents go wrong is not teaching their kids about consideration for the good of a community as a whole. Many have a very individualistic mindset, and so they expect what is best for *their* kid to happen at any given moment. So you get parents who teach their kids not to take school seriously or that they need to respect teachers because they don't think that's what is best for their child.

[Anonymous]

I think our millennial children are very good parents. They learned from us and I think we did a very good job. If I didn’t think they were doing a good job I would tell them.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My dad got into a top 5 law school by showing up the month before classes began and chatting with the dean and showing them his LSAT score. No, it wasn't a perfect score. That's how easy it was to get into school back then. The generation gap has 100% to do with scare resources. We millennials go nuts trying to optimize kids to get into college because it's now impossible. That leads to all sorts of parenting decisions that seem baffling and wrong and pathetic to previous generations who weren't under this pressure.

No, it’s not. You just can’t fathom that one can have a fulfilling life without always being at the top. GMAFB with your scarce resources. If you have the luxury to ponder parenting philosophies and optimize children, you’re doing fine.

I’m the one who wrote that and you’re wrong. I went to a mediocre state school because I got a scholarship there, paid my own way by working shitty jobs at the expense of the glamorous unpaid internships I now know you need to get a good job later, and it took me over a decade to pay off my debt and claw my way up from scratch to a job anyone on DCUM would consider decent and white collar. I don’t want that for my kids! It was too hard. Meanwhile my friends who got Cs at Stanford waltzed into Deloitte and made 6 figures with no student debt and partied around the world while they got their MBAs. I know exactly what I missed out on and what the differences in your life and opportunities are if you go to a top20 or not.

Well I still don’t feel sorry for you, but I kind of do for your kids now. That’s a lot to put on them when the prize is getting to party around the world with a bunch of losers from Deloitte. But I wish them well. May they one day have a job that DCUM considers white collar. Goals!

The "prize" isn't the job but the stability and security it provides. Money doesn't buy happiness but it sure does buy a way out of stress. Being able to get my child speech therapy without worrying about the copays, pay for the childcare I need without tradiing off cost for quality, replace worn out shoes, buy warm winter clothing, and in general not be one unexpected major expense away from financial stress sure does make it easier to be happy.

I had a relatively nice childhood but will always remember having to drop out of dance class because I got sick for a couple weeks and my parents could no longer afford the recital costumes with the medical co-pays and missed work. And that was minor. My husband's family had 4 people living in a one bedroom apartment and every $10 school extra for him was a strain on his parents. So yeah a path to a stable well paying job is a prize

NP. Your childhood was fine. Your life now is fine. Your kids will be fine. Stop complaining and focus on all of the good things you (and your kids) have going on.

Ok we get It. Unless you survived losing both legs while literally starving growing up in Soviet Russia everything is fine, no complaining allowed, no comparisons allowed.