millennials terrible parents

[Anonymous]

I don’t see this type of parenting. I’m an older millennial (married to Gen X and have a lot of of friends in that age group). So maybe it skipped a generation?

Or is this an SES thing? I live in a close-in UMC neighborhood and the parents I see are generally involved and reasonable about parenting. Not a bunch of screaming, but no trantruming kids either (at least at the elementary level). The only ones I know like that have SNs and the parents are doing their best to get them help.

I’m curious what demographic this seems to be having this issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because no one has told us how to parent! We get not to spank or yell, but gentle parenting is HELL ON EARTH for parents. I think gentle parenting is leading the mental health crisis. But yes, let me stay calm and sane while kids tantrum, throw things and won't do anything you tell them to do. I think to effectively gentle parent you need to be on Prozac or Valium. We talk about emotions nonstop with our kids and what to do when they have big feelings.

Well you know what? Mommy has big feelings about no one ever listening, about the house being a disaster, about you not eating dinner, about you hitting me. Clearly no one cares about parents though and we're just the sacrificial lambs to gentle parenting. I have a feeling by the time millennials are done parenting, we're going to be so checked out that we'll never be able to grandparent or see our kids again as adults. Or we'll be in the psych wards.

You don’t have to subscribe to what’s the parenting trend du jour is. Trust your instincts. It’s ok to yell sometimes. It’s ok to lose your cool. It’s good for your kids to see you as a human with normal emotions. It’s good for them to see you mess up a bit and correct course. I dare say it’s even good for them to feel a tiny bit of that long lost emotion called shame in some cases. I’m not sure who you were expecting to tell you these things. Learning to parents is a process. When something’s not working for you, try something different.

I doubt it. Go listen to What Gen Z is saying about Gen X parenting. They're ALL in therapy over the one time their parents yelled.

And I doubt that they really need therapy, or if they do, it’s their parents yelling that made it so. They’ve been had by the pharmaceutical and therapy industries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because no one has told us how to parent! We get not to spank or yell, but gentle parenting is HELL ON EARTH for parents. I think gentle parenting is leading the mental health crisis. But yes, let me stay calm and sane while kids tantrum, throw things and won't do anything you tell them to do. I think to effectively gentle parent you need to be on Prozac or Valium. We talk about emotions nonstop with our kids and what to do when they have big feelings.

Well you know what? Mommy has big feelings about no one ever listening, about the house being a disaster, about you not eating dinner, about you hitting me. Clearly no one cares about parents though and we're just the sacrificial lambs to gentle parenting. I have a feeling by the time millennials are done parenting, we're going to be so checked out that we'll never be able to grandparent or see our kids again as adults. Or we'll be in the psych wards.

You don’t have to subscribe to what’s the parenting trend du jour is. Trust your instincts. It’s ok to yell sometimes. It’s ok to lose your cool. It’s good for your kids to see you as a human with normal emotions. It’s good for them to see you mess up a bit and correct course. I dare say it’s even good for them to feel a tiny bit of that long lost emotion called shame in some cases. I’m not sure who you were expecting to tell you these things. Learning to parents is a process. When something’s not working for you, try something different.

I doubt it. Go listen to What Gen Z is saying about Gen X parenting. They're ALL in therapy over the one time their parents yelled.

I strongly caution you against making decisions out of fear that it will one day drive your kid to therapy. You have no idea what you are or aren’t doing now that they might possibly take issue with later. Prepare them to be good adults and allow them to take responsibility for their decisions early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny and a millennial and there’s some truth to this.

Millennials have done a 180 from their Boomer parents strict Authoritarian, hands off, corporal punishment parenting by being overbearing, coddling permissive parents.

And no, the answer isn’t to spank or hit your children.

Many millennial parents co-opted Gentle Parenting and misunderstood it and became very passive and permissive parents. No boundaries, no rules, no expectations. They think to have happy, well-rounded kids you must make sure you meet every wish and need and destroy any potential struggle or obstacle that may be in your child’s path. (Look up snowplow parenting). These parents have the best of intentions, but end up raising miserable, lazy, disregulated children.

Of course this is not all millennial parents, probably not even close to most. But it’s a significant enough of a problem that people notice. Especially those who work with these families and children (teachers, coaches, therapists).

I’ve seen it with many families but not all. But it seems like every generation is going to f___ up their kids in some way.

If you’re a nanny why are you in the parenting forum?

Because nannies are the experts that unable parents hire.

Nannies raise kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad got into a top 5 law school by showing up the month before classes began and chatting with the dean and showing them his LSAT score. No, it wasn't a perfect score. That's how easy it was to get into school back then. The generation gap has 100% to do with scare resources. We millennials go nuts trying to optimize kids to get into college because it's now impossible. That leads to all sorts of parenting decisions that seem baffling and wrong and pathetic to previous generations who weren't under this pressure.

What if I told you that raising happy, resilient, well-rounded and kind kids was as equally as important (if not more) than big earners?

I'd tell your kids have food insecurity and you shouldn't be proud of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because no one has told us how to parent! We get not to spank or yell, but gentle parenting is HELL ON EARTH for parents. I think gentle parenting is leading the mental health crisis. But yes, let me stay calm and sane while kids tantrum, throw things and won't do anything you tell them to do. I think to effectively gentle parent you need to be on Prozac or Valium. We talk about emotions nonstop with our kids and what to do when they have big feelings.

Well you know what? Mommy has big feelings about no one ever listening, about the house being a disaster, about you not eating dinner, about you hitting me. Clearly no one cares about parents though and we're just the sacrificial lambs to gentle parenting. I have a feeling by the time millennials are done parenting, we're going to be so checked out that we'll never be able to grandparent or see our kids again as adults. Or we'll be in the psych wards.

You don’t have to subscribe to what’s the parenting trend du jour is. Trust your instincts. It’s ok to yell sometimes. It’s ok to lose your cool. It’s good for your kids to see you as a human with normal emotions. It’s good for them to see you mess up a bit and correct course. I dare say it’s even good for them to feel a tiny bit of that long lost emotion called shame in some cases. I’m not sure who you were expecting to tell you these things. Learning to parents is a process. When something’s not working for you, try something different.

I doubt it. Go listen to What Gen Z is saying about Gen X parenting. They're ALL in therapy over the one time their parents yelled.

I strongly caution you against making decisions out of fear that it will one day drive your kid to therapy. You have no idea what you are or aren’t doing now that they might possibly take issue with later. Prepare them to be good adults and allow them to take responsibility for their decisions early.

You're arguing with a schizophrenic who believes the voices in her head.

[Anonymous]

Milleials are terrible parents because their Boomer parents were terrible parents.

[Anonymous]

I saw a millenial couple walking their DOG recently and if their inability to handle a *labrador retriever* is any evidence of their parenting skills, we are doomed. The dog was jumping up on passersby and the dude was like “Please Fido, please let this gentleman pass. Please Fido!” while ineffectually pulling on the leash. It was unreal.

[Anonymous]

Millennials are over worked as they need to prop up boomers with their entitlements and lavish lifestyles. At the same time boomers are not helping their grandchildren financially or physically. Blame the boomers again, there is a long thread on this here https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1171410.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see this type of parenting. I’m an older millennial (married to Gen X and have a lot of of friends in that age group). So maybe it skipped a generation?

Or is this an SES thing? I live in a close-in UMC neighborhood and the parents I see are generally involved and reasonable about parenting. Not a bunch of screaming, but no trantruming kids either (at least at the elementary level). The only ones I know like that have SNs and the parents are doing their best to get them help.

I’m curious what demographic this seems to be having this issue.

+1. Young Gen X.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad got into a top 5 law school by showing up the month before classes began and chatting with the dean and showing them his LSAT score. No, it wasn't a perfect score. That's how easy it was to get into school back then. The generation gap has 100% to do with scare resources. We millennials go nuts trying to optimize kids to get into college because it's now impossible. That leads to all sorts of parenting decisions that seem baffling and wrong and pathetic to previous generations who weren't under this pressure.

What if I told you that raising happy, resilient, well-rounded and kind kids was as equally as important (if not more) than big earners?

I'd tell your kids have food insecurity and you shouldn't be proud of that.

You’d tell them that? I guess lying is a big part of your success plan.

[Anonymous]

I’m so confused. My parents/ILs (older than my folks) are Boomers, DH and I are Gen X. Our kids are 20 and 16, so Z? Why do so many Boomers have Millennials? And both sets of grandparents have been interested in the kids from day 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Millennials are over worked as they need to prop up boomers with their entitlements and lavish lifestyles. At the same time boomers are not helping their grandchildren financially or physically. Blame the boomers again, there is a long thread on this here https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1171410.page

Hahaha. The Gen Xers are the overworked ones.

Millennials and their kids are over the top addicted to screens. If the millennials are hands off and neglectful it would be more from being overwhelmed by digital distractions. Everything else is rationalization.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Social media now going off about how terrible millennials tend to be as parents, letting their kids run around like wild untamed animals. Boomers were already lax, now it has snowballed with millennials basically acting as their kids' best friends rather than act as their parents. Is millennial parenting as bad as they say? It does seem like a ton of kids these days could use a good ass whoopin'.

Well if it’s on social media then it must be true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny and a millennial and there’s some truth to this.

Millennials have done a 180 from their Boomer parents strict Authoritarian, hands off, corporal punishment parenting by being overbearing, coddling permissive parents.

And no, the answer isn’t to spank or hit your children.

Many millennial parents co-opted Gentle Parenting and misunderstood it and became very passive and permissive parents. No boundaries, no rules, no expectations. They think to have happy, well-rounded kids you must make sure you meet every wish and need and destroy any potential struggle or obstacle that may be in your child’s path. (Look up snowplow parenting). These parents have the best of intentions, but end up raising miserable, lazy, disregulated children.

Of course this is not all millennial parents, probably not even close to most. But it’s a significant enough of a problem that people notice. Especially those who work with these families and children (teachers, coaches, therapists).

I’ve seen it with many families but not all. But it seems like every generation is going to f___ up their kids in some way.

If you’re a nanny why are you in the parenting forum?

I guess PP, triggered you? Do you parent like this?