Kids are being rude to BF

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is this "unrelated adult male" business? Is this the new DCUM standard that all non related opposite sex people can not be in the house? He's important to their mom, they should be able to handle having a person that's not related in their house. Tell them to toughin up buttercup.

The op is a mom first and should be the one to "toughen up" They are in very difficult ages and the divorce wasn't that long ago!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he’s doing the right thing stepping back. Your kids don’t have to like your boyfriend. As long as they are polite, I don’t see a problem. Pushing him on them is just going to create resentment.

But they’re not polite, that’s the point of this post.

They’re not polite because he’s basically moving into their home three days a week, which is totally inappropriate.

Boarding school for these little misses.

pp then op will wonder why her daughters want nothing to do with her. Plus, boarding schools are super expensive!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9 months is plenty long enough

9 months could be long enough for intros but too soon for spending half the week in the home.

I think she can date now but dating with kids in the home looks different than dating as a childless person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is this "unrelated adult male" business? Is this the new DCUM standard that all non related opposite sex people can not be in the house? He's important to their mom, they should be able to handle having a person that's not related in their house. Tell them to toughin up buttercup.

The op is a mom first and should be the one to "toughen up" They are in very difficult ages and the divorce wasn't that long ago!

+1. She can “toughen up” and find ways to be with this guy that don’t regularly impede on her children’s personal space. He’s not over for dinner once in a while, he’s coming over a lot. Let the kids have some space without new boyfriend before they go off to college.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP but it's too much. Almost half the week with a stranger in the house!

I am divorced and dating a very nice man - he has two kids in college and I have two in high school. Not looking to create a blended family at this point. He doesn't hang around the house when my kids are there - they've met him, he comes over to meet up with me or sometimes all of us to go somewhere, but he isn't integrated into our family life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9 months is plenty long enough

9 months could be long enough for intros but too soon for spending half the week in the home.

I think she can date now but dating with kids in the home looks different than dating as a childless person.

+1 OP’s teens are not being selfish! They are uncomfortable in their home. Date the guy, but he shouldn’t be in your house so much, especially if your kids have unresolved feelings about the divorce. This is their home, FFS, and they have the right to feel at ease.

[Anonymous]

Their biological dad is out of the picture and YOU are their safe place, and YOU are in lovesick land. They need to be your priority. You’ve gotten them into therapy and can see they’re still processing the divorce, and are honestly shocked that they are uncomfortable with this guy in their home/your orbit all the time?

[Anonymous]

It’s too soon to have introduced them and for him to be coming over so much. Honestly, I would have hated it too. However, they should not be rude to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is this "unrelated adult male" business? Is this the new DCUM standard that all non related opposite sex people can not be in the house? He's important to their mom, they should be able to handle having a person that's not related in their house. Tell them to toughin up buttercup.

It is a statistical fact that children are far and away the most likely to be abused when there is a non-related male in the household. Of course, maybe OPs boyfriend is not an abuser. Maybe the kids are making it up that he seems creepy. Or maybe he is a predator. There is no way to know from what the OP has written.

Nobody said the BF seems creepy. Quite the opposite. Basic reading comprehension, PP

The "nobody" here is the divorced mom. So her insisting that the BF is "not creepy" is meaningless. A home with two teen girls and no "man of the house"? I would be super careful not to bring a man into the equation. OP, get a BOB and wait until your kids are actually launched, able to support themselves and a good lifestyle on the upwards trajectory.

BTW - with all of this drama, how are your kids doing in their academics? On track to go to college and have a secure, well paying career?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Their biological dad is out of the picture and YOU are their safe place, and YOU are in lovesick land. They need to be your priority. You’ve gotten them into therapy and can see they’re still processing the divorce, and are honestly shocked that they are uncomfortable with this guy in their home/your orbit all the time?

OP is in the super horny hormonal age before menopause where some middle aged women lose their minds. She will continue to prioritize dicks before kids for another decade at least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op you're picking a rando man and yourself over your two uncomfortable teen girls. That's pathetic.

Exactly.

Divorcees will have time to date when the kids are off to college and out of the house. Until then your sole job is to be the parent and try to make up for the fact that you failed to pick a good partner the first time around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s too soon to have introduced them and for him to be coming over so much. Honestly, I would have hated it too. However, they should not be rude to him.

Do you really trust that OP's accounting of "rude" is actually rude?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP but it's too much. Almost half the week with a stranger in the house!

I am divorced and dating a very nice man - he has two kids in college and I have two in high school. Not looking to create a blended family at this point. He doesn't hang around the house when my kids are there - they've met him, he comes over to meet up with me or sometimes all of us to go somewhere, but he isn't integrated into our family life.

This seems to be OP's goal and her kids are not up for it. Thankfully the guy seems to want to wisely back off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is this "unrelated adult male" business? Is this the new DCUM standard that all non related opposite sex people can not be in the house? He's important to their mom, they should be able to handle having a person that's not related in their house. Tell them to toughin up buttercup.

It is a statistical fact that children are far and away the most likely to be abused when there is a non-related male in the household. Of course, maybe OPs boyfriend is not an abuser. Maybe the kids are making it up that he seems creepy. Or maybe he is a predator. There is no way to know from what the OP has written.

Nobody said the BF seems creepy. Quite the opposite. Basic reading comprehension, PP

The "nobody" here is the divorced mom. So her insisting that the BF is "not creepy" is meaningless. A home with two teen girls and no "man of the house"? I would be super careful not to bring a man into the equation. OP, get a BOB and wait until your kids are actually launched, able to support themselves and a good lifestyle on the upwards trajectory.

BTW - with all of this drama, how are your kids doing in their academics? On track to go to college and have a secure, well paying career?

Not OP but what is a BOB?

[Anonymous]

OP is worried her kids have messed up her good thing with her boo. He was "hurt" y'all!