Why doesn’t DH’s family support DD’s fundraiser?

[Anonymous]

We are UMC. I would donate money to my child’s school. I would support worthy causes. I would never let my child participate in a raffle where prizes are awarded for fundraising, especially when she is 7. I find it very tacky that the school, and you, push this.

If a neighborhood child asked me to support her in a walk/run/bake sale, etc, I would do so. I would never support behavior like this from a school and I would be offended that you asked me on child’s behalf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to know what these amazing prizes are.

Probably like wrapping paper sales for HS where if sell $500 of paper the kid gets $10 or their name in drawing with bunch of other kids for something else that costs <$20.

[Anonymous]

These fundraisers are about as enjoyable as MLM events.

🤣 Agree! And now we know how the MLM huns get their start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to know what these amazing prizes are.

Probably like wrapping paper sales for HS where if sell $500 of paper the kid gets $10 or their name in drawing with bunch of other kids for something else that costs <$20.

Since it's a raffle, that doesn't sound like this type of prize situation. When my school has done raffles it's usually something like the class that raises the most money gets a popsicle. The raffle is a win/win. The prizes are donated, the school keeps all the money. I don't get the animosity esp when people say they instead support and buy Girl Scout cookies. Why? The troops only get to keep about $.80 of a $5 box. Girl Scouts gets the rest of the money and the cookies aren't that good. My daughter is a Girl Scout and I loathe cookie season.

[Anonymous]

This is OP, took me a while to go through the responses. I am not saying I like the idea of these fundraisers, but I still contribute since it does help the school fund things it needs (there is a list of what the money raised will be used for). And I am genuinely shocked that people are not more generous on here - do you not donate to friends’ fundraisers? I try to contribute a little something to most donation requests just to be nice and support different causes that can make a difference for others.

All raffle prizes are donated so the school gets nearly all money - and the prizes are things like annual museum memberships, sports game tickets, iPads, video games, etc. And yes this is a public school. And yes, the class who sells the most tickets gets an ice cream party and extra recess. And the 5 kids that sell the most get things too like front row tickets to the school play, teacher for the day, etc.

And for those who asked - my DD is one of two grandkids (my other child is younger). DH’s older sister never married (has no kids) and no cousins or other kids asking for donations to anything.

[Anonymous]

Because for whatever reason they don't want to.

Maybe they are sick of fundraisers, maybe they had bad experiences in the past, maybe their family just doesn't do them. Whatever the reason accept their decision and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, took me a while to go through the responses. I am not saying I like the idea of these fundraisers, but I still contribute since it does help the school fund things it needs (there is a list of what the money raised will be used for). And I am genuinely shocked that people are not more generous on here - do you not donate to friends’ fundraisers? I try to contribute a little something to most donation requests just to be nice and support different causes that can make a difference for others.

All raffle prizes are donated so the school gets nearly all money - and the prizes are things like annual museum memberships, sports game tickets, iPads, video games, etc. And yes this is a public school. And yes, the class who sells the most tickets gets an ice cream party and extra recess. And the 5 kids that sell the most get things too like front row tickets to the school play, teacher for the day, etc.

And for those who asked - my DD is one of two grandkids (my other child is younger). DH’s older sister never married (has no kids) and no cousins or other kids asking for donations to anything.

Nope, never.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate fundraisers that highlight wealth disparities among students. It's really gross to give prizes to kids whose families/friends can afford to donate and I'm surprised you would even participate. Just give directly to the PTA. If I were a grandparent, I'd decline buying a ticket but offer a donation. Elementary aged kids are certsinly old enough to understand why fundraisers that have a financial barrier to participation are just wrong.

This is a valid point. So many schools talk about equity and go out of their way to hide which families get free food, but all that goes out the window for the fundraisers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, took me a while to go through the responses. I am not saying I like the idea of these fundraisers, but I still contribute since it does help the school fund things it needs (there is a list of what the money raised will be used for). And I am genuinely shocked that people are not more generous on here - do you not donate to friends’ fundraisers? I try to contribute a little something to most donation requests just to be nice and support different causes that can make a difference for others.

All raffle prizes are donated so the school gets nearly all money - and the prizes are things like annual museum memberships, sports game tickets, iPads, video games, etc. And yes this is a public school. And yes, the class who sells the most tickets gets an ice cream party and extra recess. And the 5 kids that sell the most get things too like front row tickets to the school play, teacher for the day, etc.

And for those who asked - my DD is one of two grandkids (my other child is younger). DH’s older sister never married (has no kids) and no cousins or other kids asking for donations to anything.

See, that's the problem. You freely give money to anyone who asks. I'm only giving to causes that I want to support. If I want to support the school raffle, I'll do it but I wouldn't presume to allocate a relative's funds.

Do you work, OP? Is it money you earned that you're handing out?

As I posted upthread, your ILs have already given. They raised your DH and did all this crap for his school. Leave them alone.

[Anonymous]

OP, please. Just stop.

[Anonymous]

You are being totally irrational. If you want your child to win the best fundraiser ever prize, then YOU need to do the heavy lifting and donate the most. The whole giving kids incentives/prizes for fundraising thing is just AWFUL, IMO. It's really not teaching them the right thing. I write a big check at the beginning of the year, but other than one social media post, I don't pressure anyone else I know to donate to my kid's school.

In other words, OP, YATA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, took me a while to go through the responses. I am not saying I like the idea of these fundraisers, but I still contribute since it does help the school fund things it needs (there is a list of what the money raised will be used for). And I am genuinely shocked that people are not more generous on here - do you not donate to friends’ fundraisers? I try to contribute a little something to most donation requests just to be nice and support different causes that can make a difference for others.

All raffle prizes are donated so the school gets nearly all money - and the prizes are things like annual museum memberships, sports game tickets, iPads, video games, etc. And yes this is a public school. And yes, the class who sells the most tickets gets an ice cream party and extra recess. And the 5 kids that sell the most get things too like front row tickets to the school play, teacher for the day, etc.

And for those who asked - my DD is one of two grandkids (my other child is younger). DH’s older sister never married (has no kids) and no cousins or other kids asking for donations to anything.

If you want your kid to get a museum membership, just buy her a f** museum membership. Don't ask other people to donate so she can get a prize. How selfish of you.

[Anonymous]

Fundraising is bullpucky. The only kind I like is the "no frills" fundraiser, where you write a check and ask the money goes to the cause.

Kudos to your ILs for opting out, and for not telling you where to stick your nonstop requests. Take the hint, OP, and stop asking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, took me a while to go through the responses. I am not saying I like the idea of these fundraisers, but I still contribute since it does help the school fund things it needs (there is a list of what the money raised will be used for). And I am genuinely shocked that people are not more generous on here - do you not donate to friends’ fundraisers? I try to contribute a little something to most donation requests just to be nice and support different causes that can make a difference for others.

All raffle prizes are donated so the school gets nearly all money - and the prizes are things like annual museum memberships, sports game tickets, iPads, video games, etc. And yes this is a public school. And yes, the class who sells the most tickets gets an ice cream party and extra recess. And the 5 kids that sell the most get things too like front row tickets to the school play, teacher for the day, etc.

And for those who asked - my DD is one of two grandkids (my other child is younger). DH’s older sister never married (has no kids) and no cousins or other kids asking for donations to anything.

Is it possible they feel like your kid doesn't actually like them much or see them much? I know I was pretty surprised to get a fundraising email from one of our nieces - because though she is my spouse's sibling, we really don't have much of a relationship. They never call us, they never visit - even when they're on vacation two hours away, we don't get them coming in for the day or over for dinner.

It is very unlike my sibling's child, who we do have a close relationship with. We're a plane ride from each of them, so proximity doesn't explain it. And I know it's not the kid's fault if the parents haven't prioritized seeing us or helpng them develop a relationship, but that's how it is - and it did make me feel yicky about this fundraising email. (My spouse donated a generous amount, because they are a big-hearted person who is just like that.) Anyway, just something to consider - hopefully that's not the case, and you all are close with both sides of the family.

[Anonymous]

A lot of people support fundraisers where the child has to do some type of work or interact (Girl Scout cookies; pancake breakfasts, car wash, bake sales, etc.). I am not a fan of fundraisers where a parent sends me a link asking for a donation to a cause I don't care about, providing something I don't want, and doesn't appear to teach the kid anything.