Why doesn’t DH’s family support DD’s fundraiser?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is in 2nd grade and her school has an annual raffle fundraiser. People donate amazing prizes, but tickets are only $5 each and the 5 kids that sell the most tickets won a prices, as does the class that sells the most.

Every year I send an email and text to my extended family and DH’s which includes his parents, two aunts and uncles and his sister. And every year my parents and siblings each spend at least $50 buying tickets.

However, no one in DH’s family has ever bought an single ticket and I can’t understand why. They are all very financially secure so why not support their granddaughter? I made DH ask them the second year and they said they would do it but then never did.

Is this odd that not a single person in his family is willing to contribute just $5?

I’m not going to read all the comments, but I’m sure by now you realize how insufferable and obnoxious you are.

[Anonymous]

I agree OP. I have been in your position and send a text with link to family. Show ‘em how it’s done.

[Anonymous]

Another vote for "I hate these fundraisers and won't participate in them." My sister and I occasionally share food-related fundraiser stuff for our kids' schools - e.g., next week her kid's school has a band fundraiser "Chipotle night" where a percentage of your bill goes to the school at Chipotle, and then in mid-November, my kid's band program is raising money for field trips via the same Chipotle scheme. Everyone will probably go to those things. Zero people are buying wrapping paper or wreaths, or sharing emails about wrapping paper or wreaths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to know what these amazing prizes are.

Who cares. You’re not making an investment, you’re supporting your grandkids. This is not a good time to fly your cheap flag. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate fundraisers that highlight wealth disparities among students. It's really gross to give prizes to kids whose families/friends can afford to donate

Amen

Yep. I finally convinced my son (by 2nd grade) that the crap prizes aren't worth it and even the big prizes are made to manipulate people. We donate a set amount and that's it, I refuse to ask others for donations for my child's school (public school).

I had another mom at work whose kid goes to the same school, try to get me to donate on behalf of her child. I said no, I already made my donation to my own kid. She asked to match donations because her kid really wanted that limo ride prize. No! I donated to the fund. I'm not donating again just so your child can win the big prize.

Anyway, my family has enough on their plates they pay for, and they donate to their favorite causes. why would they also pay for my child's school or activities?

[Anonymous]

I hate these fundraisers too and would never let my kids pester relatives or even neighbors.

[Anonymous]

These fundraisers are about as enjoyable as MLM events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t like these fundraisers. Ditto for nieces and nephews hitting us up to support their sports, bands and scout activities. My income is similar to their parent’s income, so I find it ridiculous to be sending checks to them while supporting my own kids activities. I guess my kids could hit up their aunts and uncles, then checks would be passing each other…just seems like a waste.

FYI, it’s not because I’m not charitable. If a niece or nephew had a financial hardship, I would surely help, just as I’m happy to support numerous charities for THOSE IN NEED.

But this is about supporting the school, not just the child. Presumably there are kids in need, at every school, who benefit from the generosity of other families. This is just like all those other charities, for people in need, you claim to support. Do you not agree that supporting education is one of the most important things?

DP here. Fundraising is not the equitable way to raise money for schools. The way to appropriately fund schools is through taxes and other fees. Then elected officials and school system administrators should decide how to allot the funds.

Otherwise, public schools with richer student bodies get more money thru fundraising. Rich parents can think, hey, I will vote for lower taxes and then just donate or fundraise a ton of money to my kids' school.

So the moral thing to do is NOT to donate.

Good luck with not donating! Kids and schools need the money now. You don't get a do over on a child's education. I'm happy to donate to help our school and other kids at our school out for these types of fundraisers (a raffle that costs the school nothing, all the money goes directly to the school) when they specific goals. New computers, new equipment, more library books etc. It's $5, at a minimum. But I won't support my neighbors kid's band trip or sports team. Some of you just refusing to donate are some cheap misers. Just be honest.

[Anonymous]

This has happened to me kinda. My DH family is asking for donations for their charity runs for wounded warriors, St Jude’s, MS, etc and I would donate $25-50. When I ask donation for Girl Scout cookies, Nothing. Not even $5. So, I stopped donating to them.

[Anonymous]

Every year, I get multiple computer generated email requests to make donations or to buy some crap that I don’t want — so that the kid attending the school will get some cheap prize. I’m over it. When kids ask me themselves for something that they genuinely care about, I donate. I have bought tickets for performances — even when I realized at the last minute that they cost more than the token fee that I was expecting. I give birthday gifts and shower gifts and show up for parties held at trampoline parks. Emails several times a year for prizes and “fun runs”, especially for multiple kids: It’s too much. And it’s really too much when it’s not reciprocal, since I won’t be doing anything involving fund-raising on my end.

If the kid is attending a school that’s genuinely in need, tell me what the teachers need or give me a link to their wishlists.
I’m happy to make a donation for something specific— from lunch bills, to winter clothing, to a discretionary fund that means that Every student can go on trips and have a treat.

If the kid would like a plastic toy, like the ones they get for reaching a donation target, let me know. I’d be happy to buy them one.

I do have one exception to this though. Every now and then, the fundraising involves something that I’d genuinely like to have. For those, I donated cheerfully and regarded it as a win-win.

[Anonymous]

I am sure you can spend $5 and buy your DD a few of the prizes she would have won. it’s just cheap trinkets

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t like these fundraisers. Ditto for nieces and nephews hitting us up to support their sports, bands and scout activities. My income is similar to their parent’s income, so I find it ridiculous to be sending checks to them while supporting my own kids activities. I guess my kids could hit up their aunts and uncles, then checks would be passing each other…just seems like a waste.

FYI, it’s not because I’m not charitable. If a niece or nephew had a financial hardship, I would surely help, just as I’m happy to support numerous charities for THOSE IN NEED.

But this is about supporting the school, not just the child. Presumably there are kids in need, at every school, who benefit from the generosity of other families. This is just like all those other charities, for people in need, you claim to support. Do you not agree that supporting education is one of the most important things?

DP here. Fundraising is not the equitable way to raise money for schools. The way to appropriately fund schools is through taxes and other fees. Then elected officials and school system administrators should decide how to allot the funds.

Otherwise, public schools with richer student bodies get more money thru fundraising. Rich parents can think, hey, I will vote for lower taxes and then just donate or fundraise a ton of money to my kids' school.

So the moral thing to do is NOT to donate.

Good luck with not donating! Kids and schools need the money now. You don't get a do over on a child's education. I'm happy to donate to help our school and other kids at our school out for these types of fundraisers (a raffle that costs the school nothing, all the money goes directly to the school) when they specific goals. New computers, new equipment, more library books etc. It's $5, at a minimum. But I won't support my neighbors kid's band trip or sports team. Some of you just refusing to donate are some cheap misers. Just be honest.

I actually would be fine with supporting a band trip or a sports team — if the kids who are participating ask me themselves. I think those are great activities that I would be happy to support. As a “cheap miser” I just paid my property taxes. I’m more than doing my bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t like these fundraisers. Ditto for nieces and nephews hitting us up to support their sports, bands and scout activities. My income is similar to their parent’s income, so I find it ridiculous to be sending checks to them while supporting my own kids activities. I guess my kids could hit up their aunts and uncles, then checks would be passing each other…just seems like a waste.

FYI, it’s not because I’m not charitable. If a niece or nephew had a financial hardship, I would surely help, just as I’m happy to support numerous charities for THOSE IN NEED.

But this is about supporting the school, not just the child. Presumably there are kids in need, at every school, who benefit from the generosity of other families. This is just like all those other charities, for people in need, you claim to support. Do you not agree that supporting education is one of the most important things?

DP here. Fundraising is not the equitable way to raise money for schools. The way to appropriately fund schools is through taxes and other fees. Then elected officials and school system administrators should decide how to allot the funds.

Otherwise, public schools with richer student bodies get more money thru fundraising. Rich parents can think, hey, I will vote for lower taxes and then just donate or fundraise a ton of money to my kids' school.

So the moral thing to do is NOT to donate.

Good luck with not donating! Kids and schools need the money now. You don't get a do over on a child's education. I'm happy to donate to help our school and other kids at our school out for these types of fundraisers (a raffle that costs the school nothing, all the money goes directly to the school) when they specific goals. New computers, new equipment, more library books etc. It's $5, at a minimum. But I won't support my neighbors kid's band trip or sports team. Some of you just refusing to donate are some cheap misers. Just be honest.

I actually would be fine with supporting a band trip or a sports team — if the kids who are participating ask me themselves. I think those are great activities that I would be happy to support. As a “cheap miser” I just paid my property taxes. I’m more than doing my bit.

Parents can pay for the extras for their kids who can well afford the activities, that's my money down the drain. I'm glad to help schools for kids who may not even have activities at home. But at least their schools can be a better place.. I think a once a year ask of family is ok, and yes, the kids do the asking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t like these fundraisers. Ditto for nieces and nephews hitting us up to support their sports, bands and scout activities. My income is similar to their parent’s income, so I find it ridiculous to be sending checks to them while supporting my own kids activities. I guess my kids could hit up their aunts and uncles, then checks would be passing each other…just seems like a waste.

FYI, it’s not because I’m not charitable. If a niece or nephew had a financial hardship, I would surely help, just as I’m happy to support numerous charities for THOSE IN NEED.

But this is about supporting the school, not just the child. Presumably there are kids in need, at every school, who benefit from the generosity of other families. This is just like all those other charities, for people in need, you claim to support. Do you not agree that supporting education is one of the most important things?

DP here. Fundraising is not the equitable way to raise money for schools. The way to appropriately fund schools is through taxes and other fees. Then elected officials and school system administrators should decide how to allot the funds.

Otherwise, public schools with richer student bodies get more money thru fundraising. Rich parents can think, hey, I will vote for lower taxes and then just donate or fundraise a ton of money to my kids' school.

So the moral thing to do is NOT to donate.

Wrong. You don't get to decide this for others either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I donate 100% of the time when kids ask me. I never donate to a kid fundraiser if the ask is from a parent. Even if it is my own nieces and nephews. It’s not your kid’s fundraiser if you are the solicitor.

This. Have your kid call, I ignore all Facebook requests/emails etc. But if a kid asks me I will 100% participate.