Couples who don’t share baby name

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so stupid to be precious about names. No one is going to “take” your name and even if they did - who cares. The world is obviously big enough for 7 million Jennifers. We told everyone the names we chose for our three kids.

I don't care about the "taking" of names I just don't want to hear your opinion on it.

IME, people will give opinions after the baby is born as well. Like my sister, who questioned my baby's name after coming home from the hospital (even though we never kept it a secret beforehand) then refused to share the name of her baby born a year later, which was the most popular name in the world at the time. Honestly, I don't care what people do but no one cares about your baby's name nearly as much as you do. Its like asking if its a boy or girl--no one really cares, its just something you ask to be nice.

Well, if no one cares, then it's fine not to share! Glad we're all in agreement.

I'm not disagreeing with you but its irritating when couples are super smug about not sharing the name, like it's some big secret the rest of the world is on eggshells waiting to hear. Do what you want but my point is, no one cares about being surprised and no one really cares more than you do about the name anyway. They are usually just asking to be nice, not to be nosy.

Right. Which is why when someone responds "we aren't sharing the name yet" the only acceptable answer is "ok". Not "wow what a smug B you are".

Yes!!!

Saying yes to the thread this comment was responding to. Only smug b’s think people care about their kids’ names. No one cares!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We shared our proposed middle names with the (adult) children of the person we were naming in honor of, in case they felt strongly about one or the other of her names being used.

Other than that we really didn’t have her first name decided until we met her and were sure it fit, and it seemed rude to tell other people her name before she even got to hear it…

The fit thing is bizarre to me…and rude? Girl please.

The fit thing is real. Sometimes the name you pick doesn't work with the baby and you need to go to Plan B.

I never had this problem with my three kids. Do you think it’s you? You seem like you enjoy getting worked up about stupid stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We shared our proposed middle names with the (adult) children of the person we were naming in honor of, in case they felt strongly about one or the other of her names being used.

Other than that we really didn’t have her first name decided until we met her and were sure it fit, and it seemed rude to tell other people her name before she even got to hear it…

The fit thing is bizarre to me…and rude? Girl please.

The fit thing is real. Sometimes the name you pick doesn't work with the baby and you need to go to Plan B.

I never had this problem with my three kids. Do you think it’s you? You seem like you enjoy getting worked up about stupid stuff.

NP. Given your choice of words, ("girl please," and "do you think its you?")...you're the one who seems more worked up than the person you're responding to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just look at the criticism on dcum for anyone asking for opinions on a name. Keep it to yourself until the baby is born and you've processed the birth certificate forms at the hospital.

When you share that you are naming your child XYZ unless you say “we want opinions and aren’t sure” no one will give opinions. My family has zero boundaries and they’ve never given opinions on names.

Also, why share gender but not name? No one cares about your child’s name as much as you and it’s a surprise no matter what. You’re just delaying the surprise because you think people care and no one cares.

They absolutely will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so stupid to be precious about names. No one is going to “take” your name and even if they did - who cares. The world is obviously big enough for 7 million Jennifers. We told everyone the names we chose for our three kids.

I don't care about the "taking" of names I just don't want to hear your opinion on it.

IME, people will give opinions after the baby is born as well. Like my sister, who questioned my baby's name after coming home from the hospital (even though we never kept it a secret beforehand) then refused to share the name of her baby born a year later, which was the most popular name in the world at the time. Honestly, I don't care what people do but no one cares about your baby's name nearly as much as you do. Its like asking if its a boy or girl--no one really cares, its just something you ask to be nice.

Well, if no one cares, then it's fine not to share! Glad we're all in agreement.

I'm not disagreeing with you but its irritating when couples are super smug about not sharing the name, like it's some big secret the rest of the world is on eggshells waiting to hear. Do what you want but my point is, no one cares about being surprised and no one really cares more than you do about the name anyway. They are usually just asking to be nice, not to be nosy.

Right. Which is why when someone responds "we aren't sharing the name yet" the only acceptable answer is "ok". Not "wow what a smug B you are".

Yes!!!

Saying yes to the thread this comment was responding to. Only smug b’s think people care about their kids’ names. No one cares!

You seem to care an awful lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just look at the criticism on dcum for anyone asking for opinions on a name. Keep it to yourself until the baby is born and you've processed the birth certificate forms at the hospital.

When you share that you are naming your child XYZ unless you say “we want opinions and aren’t sure” no one will give opinions. My family has zero boundaries and they’ve never given opinions on names.

Also, why share gender but not name? No one cares about your child’s name as much as you and it’s a surprise no matter what. You’re just delaying the surprise because you think people care and no one cares.

They absolutely will.

We didnt share gender because we waited until the birth. Also if you dont care why are you asking?

[Anonymous]

We shared with our first and people were annoying about it, so we decided not to do it this time around. People absolutely shared their opinions. Frankly, I’m not sure why they thought we would be interested in hearing them. I don’t think any of our family members are beacons of taste so their opinions didn’t matter to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so stupid to be precious about names. No one is going to “take” your name and even if they did - who cares. The world is obviously big enough for 7 million Jennifers. We told everyone the names we chose for our three kids.

I don't care about the "taking" of names I just don't want to hear your opinion on it.

IME, people will give opinions after the baby is born as well. Like my sister, who questioned my baby's name after coming home from the hospital (even though we never kept it a secret beforehand) then refused to share the name of her baby born a year later, which was the most popular name in the world at the time. Honestly, I don't care what people do but no one cares about your baby's name nearly as much as you do. Its like asking if its a boy or girl--no one really cares, its just something you ask to be nice.

Well, if no one cares, then it's fine not to share! Glad we're all in agreement.

I'm not disagreeing with you but its irritating when couples are super smug about not sharing the name, like it's some big secret the rest of the world is on eggshells waiting to hear. Do what you want but my point is, no one cares about being surprised and no one really cares more than you do about the name anyway. They are usually just asking to be nice, not to be nosy.

There was like a 15 page thread the other day where a MIL was asking if she could tell her DIL to change the name they had picked out.

Plus I doubt anyone was being super smug about it— that sounds like a you issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so stupid to be precious about names. No one is going to “take” your name and even if they did - who cares. The world is obviously big enough for 7 million Jennifers. We told everyone the names we chose for our three kids.

I don't care about the "taking" of names I just don't want to hear your opinion on it.

IME, people will give opinions after the baby is born as well. Like my sister, who questioned my baby's name after coming home from the hospital (even though we never kept it a secret beforehand) then refused to share the name of her baby born a year later, which was the most popular name in the world at the time. Honestly, I don't care what people do but no one cares about your baby's name nearly as much as you do. Its like asking if its a boy or girl--no one really cares, its just something you ask to be nice.

Well, if no one cares, then it's fine not to share! Glad we're all in agreement.

I'm not disagreeing with you but its irritating when couples are super smug about not sharing the name, like it's some big secret the rest of the world is on eggshells waiting to hear. Do what you want but my point is, no one cares about being surprised and no one really cares more than you do about the name anyway. They are usually just asking to be nice, not to be nosy.

There was like a 15 page thread the other day where a MIL was asking if she could tell her DIL to change the name they had picked out.

Plus I doubt anyone was being super smug about it— that sounds like a you issue.

Seeing as how my MIL was the first person we shared our name with, I don’t think it’s a me nor a MIL issue on my end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just look at the criticism on dcum for anyone asking for opinions on a name. Keep it to yourself until the baby is born and you've processed the birth certificate forms at the hospital.

When you share that you are naming your child XYZ unless you say “we want opinions and aren’t sure” no one will give opinions. My family has zero boundaries and they’ve never given opinions on names.

Also, why share gender but not name? No one cares about your child’s name as much as you and it’s a surprise no matter what. You’re just delaying the surprise because you think people care and no one cares.

This wasn't our experience -- see my post above about an in law offering their unsolicited opinion against giving our baby a spouse's maiden name as their middle name. And that was just one example. Another of our in laws asked if we could shared the name so they could make a gift with the name on it before the birth. We politely declined. They weren't thrilled but never spoke of it again.

We also have friends who decided as a courtesy to check with one set of in laws about using a name from the other set of in laws as their baby's middle name. The first set of in laws asked if their name could be used too and so now their kid has two middle names.



Trust me, people will offer you their opinions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so stupid to be precious about names. No one is going to “take” your name and even if they did - who cares. The world is obviously big enough for 7 million Jennifers. We told everyone the names we chose for our three kids.

I don't care about the "taking" of names I just don't want to hear your opinion on it.

IME, people will give opinions after the baby is born as well. Like my sister, who questioned my baby's name after coming home from the hospital (even though we never kept it a secret beforehand) then refused to share the name of her baby born a year later, which was the most popular name in the world at the time. Honestly, I don't care what people do but no one cares about your baby's name nearly as much as you do. Its like asking if its a boy or girl--no one really cares, its just something you ask to be nice.

Well, if no one cares, then it's fine not to share! Glad we're all in agreement.

I'm not disagreeing with you but its irritating when couples are super smug about not sharing the name, like it's some big secret the rest of the world is on eggshells waiting to hear. Do what you want but my point is, no one cares about being surprised and no one really cares more than you do about the name anyway. They are usually just asking to be nice, not to be nosy.

There was like a 15 page thread the other day where a MIL was asking if she could tell her DIL to change the name they had picked out.

Plus I doubt anyone was being super smug about it— that sounds like a you issue.

Seeing as how my MIL was the first person we shared our name with, I don’t think it’s a me nor a MIL issue on my end.

It’s fine if that’s what you want to do but if you are perceiving people who don’t want to do that (maybe to avoid finding out their FIL had an AP with that name) as being super smug then maybe it is a you issue.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s funny when people are very secretive about the name they’ve chosen and then it’s something very normal. Like they think people will care and have an opinion on the name Liam or something.

[Anonymous]

We knew the sex of our babies before they were born. We named them and shared the sex and name of our unborn babies with our parents and siblings.

I did not realize that it was a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just look at the criticism on dcum for anyone asking for opinions on a name. Keep it to yourself until the baby is born and you've processed the birth certificate forms at the hospital.

When you share that you are naming your child XYZ unless you say “we want opinions and aren’t sure” no one will give opinions. My family has zero boundaries and they’ve never given opinions on names.

Also, why share gender but not name? No one cares about your child’s name as much as you and it’s a surprise no matter what. You’re just delaying the surprise because you think people care and no one cares.

They absolutely will.

We didnt share gender because we waited until the birth. Also if you dont care why are you asking?

To make conversation. It’s not that deep. If I work with you and I ask you how your vacation was it’s because I’m being polite. I haven’t been sitting around wondering if you’re having a good time on vacation all week. See how that works? You just confirmed that people who don’t share baby names really believe everyone cares about their kid’s name. Newsflash: no one cares! And if someone says that your chosen name is dumb then you know how they feel. You don’t have to do anything with that information.

And when someone says they aren’t sharing I assume outside of it being a religious thing (bad luck) that they are so self absorbed that they think someone will take their great name (98% of names have been names before so this is stupid) or that they think that I will be waiting with baited breath for their choice once the baby is born.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just look at the criticism on dcum for anyone asking for opinions on a name. Keep it to yourself until the baby is born and you've processed the birth certificate forms at the hospital.

When you share that you are naming your child XYZ unless you say “we want opinions and aren’t sure” no one will give opinions. My family has zero boundaries and they’ve never given opinions on names.

Also, why share gender but not name? No one cares about your child’s name as much as you and it’s a surprise no matter what. You’re just delaying the surprise because you think people care and no one cares.

They absolutely will.

We didnt share gender because we waited until the birth. Also if you dont care why are you asking?

To make conversation. It’s not that deep. If I work with you and I ask you how your vacation was it’s because I’m being polite. I haven’t been sitting around wondering if you’re having a good time on vacation all week. See how that works? You just confirmed that people who don’t share baby names really believe everyone cares about their kid’s name. Newsflash: no one cares! And if someone says that your chosen name is dumb then you know how they feel. You don’t have to do anything with that information.

And when someone says they aren’t sharing I assume outside of it being a religious thing (bad luck) that they are so self absorbed that they think someone will take their great name (98% of names have been names before so this is stupid) or that they think that I will be waiting with baited breath for their choice once the baby is born.

And if I say “my vacation was great, it was so nice to get some sun!” But don’t tell you we were in Morocco vs Turcs and Caicos, I don’t think you especially care and I don’t think it’s especially important for you to know. Same with people’s baby names— you’re not someone they think needs to know.