Couples who don’t share baby name

[Anonymous]

We had a name decided at around 24 weeks but didn’t share. We had shared so much about our pregnancy, we wanted to have this one special thing between the two of us. It was no big deal to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it normal to not share baby names you are thinking of or name you have decided on? Why?

Yes because we didn't want anyone judging the names we picked

[Anonymous]

Someone in the family might take-the-name, first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

And when someone says they aren’t sharing I assume outside of it being a religious thing (bad luck) that they are so self absorbed that they think someone will take their great name (98% of names have been names before so this is stupid) or that they think that I will be waiting with baited breath for their choice once the baby is born.

This is just so weird to me--I never ask the baby's name (or gender, honestly) but if I learn/overhear someone saying they're keeping that info to themselves, I would just assume they want to keep it private for their own reasons and not give it another thought. You seem to be coming from a place of judgment that isn't warranted. A lot of people don't like discussing certain topics--money, sex, religion--for a variety of reasons. Same with information about their pregnancies and children. No big deal.

Bad luck is not a religious thing.

[Anonymous]

We shared our IVF and pregnancy journey and it was so therapeutic and fun. It felt right and natural for us to share baby’s name as soon as we picked it, which was very early on. Though, it was a name we had discussed for a long time. I wasn’t worried if someone “stole” her name or if people had negative things to say about it. I don’t own rights to her name and people always have something to say anyways.

[Anonymous]

I didn't even tell my DH what choices I was considering for each of our 3 kids. After hating all his first-name choices, we finally decided that the kids could get his last name and I would choose their first and middle name. I didn't decide until about 2 days after each of them was born.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone in the family might take-the-name, first.

I was glad we shared our name because of a similar reason. We decided on a name, told MIL and her response was "so cute, DH's cousin just named her son that". She didn't suggest we should change it but we did. We still used it as a middle name but I'm glad we had plenty of time to pick a new name.

[Anonymous]

People do this when they don't want to get a bunch of contradictory feedback, unwanted commentary, distant relatives pitching a fit the baby isn't being named after them, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just look at the criticism on dcum for anyone asking for opinions on a name. Keep it to yourself until the baby is born and you've processed the birth certificate forms at the hospital.

When you share that you are naming your child XYZ unless you say “we want opinions and aren’t sure” no one will give opinions. My family has zero boundaries and they’ve never given opinions on names.

Also, why share gender but not name? No one cares about your child’s name as much as you and it’s a surprise no matter what. You’re just delaying the surprise because you think people care and no one cares.

Clearly your family does have boundaries.

Lots of people will weigh in on the name whether they are asked to or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone in the family might take-the-name, first.

I was glad we shared our name because of a similar reason. We decided on a name, told MIL and her response was "so cute, DH's cousin just named her son that". She didn't suggest we should change it but we did. We still used it as a middle name but I'm glad we had plenty of time to pick a new name.

Do you ever see that person? My distant cousin used our daughters name about 6 months before us. But we didn't change it because that was the name we wanted and who cares what her kid is named?

[Anonymous]

I wish I didn't. We told my parents the name we chose for DD (Rosemary Ann- was not expecting it to be controversial) and my dad HATED it. He spent the next 4 months texting me other names ideas, sending me photos of perfume bottles with pretty names, even a dog he met that he thought had a better name than my unborn DD. I absolutely will wait next time!