Couples who don’t share baby name

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the “excluded” MIL brigade found this thread.

Lol

[Anonymous]

Pregnant with my third now. We’ve never shared beforehand, because we genuinely haven’t chosen yet - partially because I feel like I need to meet/see the baby first before I know what name “fits” him/her, and partially because - logical or not - it feels jinxy to me to name a baby before (s)he is born. The past two times we did go into the hospital with an unofficial shortlist of favorites we’d been tossing around - the risk of sharing that widely is that people take it as an opportunity to vote.

I know some people have a name 100% chosen and keep it a secret, but I think for a lot of people they don’t share because they really haven’t decided yet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in the don't share camp. It's one of those things that nothing good can come from it. IMO.

My brother made me tell me parents my firstborn's name. They had no reaction, which I did not like. I wish I hadn't told any of them.

Then, my brother and his wife have their kids- and never reveal their names to any of us. Annnnd that basically tells you how I feel about them.

What a messed up and immature reaction. You say yourself it was a mistake then you’re mad he learned a lesson from your experience?

I didn't tell him I was upset. He doesn't know that. He just pushed me to reveal my name to everyone, but he and his wife would never do the same.

You pick really weird things to confront people and fight about. Are you this socially awkward in person, or is your life really that boring that this is what is fun for you?

[Anonymous]

It's very common not to announce names before they're born. Nobody wants that kind of judgement and pressure to change a decision. Once the baby is born and named, then the deed is done and MIL can't have a conniption over it. We definitely didn't tell anyone our name list and we also didn't get any grief or questions about the names. We did get name suggestions but that's par for the course.

[Anonymous]

Totally normal. Babies get names and Social Security numbers. Around here, fetuses don't get baby names.

[Anonymous]

A little amused by the random references to MIL exclusion...was there some MIL-centric discussion in this thread that got deleted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so stupid to be precious about names. No one is going to “take” your name and even if they did - who cares. The world is obviously big enough for 7 million Jennifers. We told everyone the names we chose for our three kids.

I don't care about the "taking" of names I just don't want to hear your opinion on it.

IME, people will give opinions after the baby is born as well. Like my sister, who questioned my baby's name after coming home from the hospital (even though we never kept it a secret beforehand) then refused to share the name of her baby born a year later, which was the most popular name in the world at the time. Honestly, I don't care what people do but no one cares about your baby's name nearly as much as you do. Its like asking if its a boy or girl--no one really cares, its just something you ask to be nice.

Well, if no one cares, then it's fine not to share! Glad we're all in agreement.

I'm not disagreeing with you but its irritating when couples are super smug about not sharing the name, like it's some big secret the rest of the world is on eggshells waiting to hear. Do what you want but my point is, no one cares about being surprised and no one really cares more than you do about the name anyway. They are usually just asking to be nice, not to be nosy.

[Anonymous]

I think it's ok to not to share. Everyone has an opinion! Plus, I always wanted to reserve the right to change my mind when the baby was born if I felt like another name "fit" better.

We had 99% decided to name our son Noah and a day or two before he was born, my husband's brother asked what names we were thinking and I gave him the short list including Noah and he was like - definitely don't use Noah.

I still used Noah and no regrets. That's fine if my BIL doesn't like the name - he doesn't have to name HIS kids Noah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A little amused by the random references to MIL exclusion...was there some MIL-centric discussion in this thread that got deleted?

Because the only people who get butt-hurt when couples don’t share the name are MILs who feel like they’re not being “included” by being invited to participate in the naming discussion (corollary, the baby being given the name they want) check out the family forum for some great examples.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so stupid to be precious about names. No one is going to “take” your name and even if they did - who cares. The world is obviously big enough for 7 million Jennifers. We told everyone the names we chose for our three kids.

I don't care about the "taking" of names I just don't want to hear your opinion on it.

IME, people will give opinions after the baby is born as well. Like my sister, who questioned my baby's name after coming home from the hospital (even though we never kept it a secret beforehand) then refused to share the name of her baby born a year later, which was the most popular name in the world at the time. Honestly, I don't care what people do but no one cares about your baby's name nearly as much as you do. Its like asking if its a boy or girl--no one really cares, its just something you ask to be nice.

Well, if no one cares, then it's fine not to share! Glad we're all in agreement.

I'm not disagreeing with you but its irritating when couples are super smug about not sharing the name, like it's some big secret the rest of the world is on eggshells waiting to hear. Do what you want but my point is, no one cares about being surprised and no one really cares more than you do about the name anyway. They are usually just asking to be nice, not to be nosy.

My spouse and I weren't trying to be smug and we weren't expecting everyone to be on eggshells. We kept it under wraps solely because we just knew if we didn't, we'd get unwelcome feedback and have to explain ourselves.

And as it turned out, sure enough, even keeping it a secret, we got unwelcome input anyway.

One of the in-laws said, unprompted, "You know what I don't like? When they make the wife's last name the baby's middle name." We sat there listening, already knowing that we had planned to do exactly that. And once the baby came, and we announced the name, the in-law never said another word.

[Anonymous]

People will say the rudest things about a name when you are still pregnant. But once that baby is here, most of them will shift to "how nice" even if they secretly hate it.

I kept it a secret both times for this reason. Also for some reason my MIL thought she should have a say? Hell no. I choose my 1st ones middle name, my DH choose the 2nd ones middle name. She did not get a say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so stupid to be precious about names. No one is going to “take” your name and even if they did - who cares. The world is obviously big enough for 7 million Jennifers. We told everyone the names we chose for our three kids.

I don't care about the "taking" of names I just don't want to hear your opinion on it.

IME, people will give opinions after the baby is born as well. Like my sister, who questioned my baby's name after coming home from the hospital (even though we never kept it a secret beforehand) then refused to share the name of her baby born a year later, which was the most popular name in the world at the time. Honestly, I don't care what people do but no one cares about your baby's name nearly as much as you do. Its like asking if its a boy or girl--no one really cares, its just something you ask to be nice.

Well, if no one cares, then it's fine not to share! Glad we're all in agreement.

I'm not disagreeing with you but its irritating when couples are super smug about not sharing the name, like it's some big secret the rest of the world is on eggshells waiting to hear. Do what you want but my point is, no one cares about being surprised and no one really cares more than you do about the name anyway. They are usually just asking to be nice, not to be nosy.

Right. Which is why when someone responds "we aren't sharing the name yet" the only acceptable answer is "ok". Not "wow what a smug B you are".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just look at the criticism on dcum for anyone asking for opinions on a name. Keep it to yourself until the baby is born and you've processed the birth certificate forms at the hospital.

When you share that you are naming your child XYZ unless you say “we want opinions and aren’t sure” no one will give opinions. My family has zero boundaries and they’ve never given opinions on names.

Also, why share gender but not name? No one cares about your child’s name as much as you and it’s a surprise no matter what. You’re just delaying the surprise because you think people care and no one cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so stupid to be precious about names. No one is going to “take” your name and even if they did - who cares. The world is obviously big enough for 7 million Jennifers. We told everyone the names we chose for our three kids.

I don't care about the "taking" of names I just don't want to hear your opinion on it.

IME, people will give opinions after the baby is born as well. Like my sister, who questioned my baby's name after coming home from the hospital (even though we never kept it a secret beforehand) then refused to share the name of her baby born a year later, which was the most popular name in the world at the time. Honestly, I don't care what people do but no one cares about your baby's name nearly as much as you do. Its like asking if its a boy or girl--no one really cares, its just something you ask to be nice.

Well, if no one cares, then it's fine not to share! Glad we're all in agreement.

I'm not disagreeing with you but its irritating when couples are super smug about not sharing the name, like it's some big secret the rest of the world is on eggshells waiting to hear. Do what you want but my point is, no one cares about being surprised and no one really cares more than you do about the name anyway. They are usually just asking to be nice, not to be nosy.

Right. Which is why when someone responds "we aren't sharing the name yet" the only acceptable answer is "ok". Not "wow what a smug B you are".

Yes!!!