DW refuses to dress out baby in anything but sleepers/rompers

[Anonymous]

Unclench and realize it doesn’t matter.

I was the opposite of your wife (although not at 3.5 weeks - baby was early September and it was hotter than it is now, so she was usually in a onesie for her first month). I, very irrationally, didn’t like her wearing “pajamas” during the day, so I usually dressed her in a onesie and pants, even if we were staying home. And they had to coordinate. But I also got dressed every morning. I needed the routine for my sanity.

And I STILL think this isn’t a battle worth fighting, OP. Let it go. Or tell your mom to let it go, and then when she doesn’t, keep telling her to let it go and don’t pass her complaints on to your wife. Because even if you aren’t telling your wife it’s coming from your mom, she knows it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she have other signs of postpartum anxiety?

Weird, this is not a sign of postpartum anxiety.

And I've never met a dad who cares about this.

Yes, claiming all the pants are too tight is definitely an anxiety red flag and I’m surprised more people aren’t picking upon this. Obviously wearing only rompers isn’t the end of the world but it sounds like she is not coping well right now.

Nope. The flag is “Dad’s” controlling attitude and behavior — which seems designed Yo induce anxiety in the mother of a newborn.
The second flag is in your comment assuming that you magically know how clothes you haven’t seen fit a baby you have never met. You know nothing about the size of the baby, the size of the clothes, or the design of the clothes. Lots of babies never fit newborn clothes, for example.
Dad sounds like a lot to cope with. I hope the Mom has some support with that.

Sorry but no - what exactly is the dad doing that’s controlling?? Be specific.

And nice try but the “my baby can’t wear pants” thing is not a thing. So it does not take magic to know that mom is seriously anxious if she thinks the baby can’t handle wearing pants.

[Anonymous]

Has anyone asked why he never dresses the baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you wan to dress your child you should be able to do so. Why does your wife decide what the baby wears?

Many people dress their babies in clothes, it is normal. If there is an outfit you like or end any to wear (maybe gift giver is visiting), put it on baby.

Is your wife controlling in other ways?

Not usually she’s just very particular about how things are done with him.

She thinks that he doesn’t nurse as well in the outfits with pants because the waistband is too tight on his stomach. It’s not. It fits fine and he doesn’t seem uncomfortable I’m concerned it’s new mom anxiety on a whole new level.

This is funny because you’re describing your new dad anxiety that’s on a different planet.

It sounds like if you want your son in your special outfits all you have to do is dress him and change his diaper. Instead you want to control how your wife dresses your son. That’s a bit much.

Isn't it a bit much that his wife changes the baby out of whatever OP puts on the kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone asked why he never dresses the baby?

Because it says in the op that he does?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you wan to dress your child you should be able to do so. Why does your wife decide what the baby wears?

Many people dress their babies in clothes, it is normal. If there is an outfit you like or end any to wear (maybe gift giver is visiting), put it on baby.

Is your wife controlling in other ways?

Not usually she’s just very particular about how things are done with him.

She thinks that he doesn’t nurse as well in the outfits with pants because the waistband is too tight on his stomach. It’s not. It fits fine and he doesn’t seem uncomfortable I’m concerned it’s new mom anxiety on a whole new level.

This is funny because you’re describing your new dad anxiety that’s on a different planet.

It sounds like if you want your son in your special outfits all you have to do is dress him and change his diaper. Instead you want to control how your wife dresses your son. That’s a bit much.

Isn't it a bit much that his wife changes the baby out of whatever OP puts on the kid?

Plus 1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you wan to dress your child you should be able to do so. Why does your wife decide what the baby wears?

Many people dress their babies in clothes, it is normal. If there is an outfit you like or end any to wear (maybe gift giver is visiting), put it on baby.

Is your wife controlling in other ways?

Not usually she’s just very particular about how things are done with him.

She thinks that he doesn’t nurse as well in the outfits with pants because the waistband is too tight on his stomach. It’s not. It fits fine and he doesn’t seem uncomfortable I’m concerned it’s new mom anxiety on a whole new level.

Is she usually anxious? How old is the baby? If she starts to get anxious about regular everyday things or starts to try to control you and the environment, that is definitely worth a talk with the doctor.

3.5 weeks. I will keep that in mind to bring up at 6 weeks Appointment

I’m DYING. You cannot be serious. (Are you serious??)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you wan to dress your child you should be able to do so. Why does your wife decide what the baby wears?

Many people dress their babies in clothes, it is normal. If there is an outfit you like or end any to wear (maybe gift giver is visiting), put it on baby.

Is your wife controlling in other ways?

Not usually she’s just very particular about how things are done with him.

She thinks that he doesn’t nurse as well in the outfits with pants because the waistband is too tight on his stomach. It’s not. It fits fine and he doesn’t seem uncomfortable I’m concerned it’s new mom anxiety on a whole new level.

This is funny because you’re describing your new dad anxiety that’s on a different planet.

It sounds like if you want your son in your special outfits all you have to do is dress him and change his diaper. Instead you want to control how your wife dresses your son. That’s a bit much.

Isn't it a bit much that his wife changes the baby out of whatever OP puts on the kid?

No because the baby is less than a month old and likely goes through 2-4 outfits a day. At that age, babies spit up and have blowouts more frequently -- they are just tiny organic machines the eat, sleep, and ooze out of all their orifices (sorry, it's true).

So no, it's actually totally normal that the wife is changing the baby out of the clothes OP is putting on the kid, because likely she'd be changing the babies clothes multiple times a day anyway. It's just that she'd be exchanging one cotton onesie for another and no one would care because it doesn't matter what clothes you put an infant in.

As many others have pointed out, OP is welcome to just change the baby himself, and then he can switch the child from one three piece ensemble to another if he so wishes. Though I bet after a day or two of wresting an infant out of his matching corduroys and sweater vest combo (now soiled from a diaper leak) and into an adorable matching sailor top and paints, and then watching the baby instantly spit up what seems like a gallon of milk on the fresh outfit, he'll be grabbing a clean onesie out of the bin next to the change table like his wife is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you wan to dress your child you should be able to do so. Why does your wife decide what the baby wears?

Many people dress their babies in clothes, it is normal. If there is an outfit you like or end any to wear (maybe gift giver is visiting), put it on baby.

Is your wife controlling in other ways?

Not usually she’s just very particular about how things are done with him.

She thinks that he doesn’t nurse as well in the outfits with pants because the waistband is too tight on his stomach. It’s not. It fits fine and he doesn’t seem uncomfortable I’m concerned it’s new mom anxiety on a whole new level.

This is funny because you’re describing your new dad anxiety that’s on a different planet.

It sounds like if you want your son in your special outfits all you have to do is dress him and change his diaper. Instead you want to control how your wife dresses your son. That’s a bit much.

Isn't it a bit much that his wife changes the baby out of whatever OP puts on the kid?

Eh, I'd rather change a baby once into something with button or zips than pull up pants 12+ times a day.

[Anonymous]

Op, ignore the people telling you that only the mother gets to make any decisions about the child and calling you names because men don’t care about babies. There is nothing wrong with dads being involved with babies and being part of decision making. You are both the baby’s parents.

Your baby is so little and new and it’s a big adjustment. Congrats on the arrival! You are both trying to figure things out and get to know the baby. Right now focus on supporting each other. You can take pictures in the clothes to show how they looked but babies that little don’t need to be dressed up for the day. They sleep eat poop and pee. If you are having a visitor over and they have an outfit, you could put the outfit on for the visit. Anxiety after birth can happen for anyone. It’s a good thing to keep an eye out for but being anxious new parents who are trying to get things right is normal. Take a deep breath and realize this isn’t worth causing added stress. Keep spending time with baby and give yourself and your wife time to adjust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know why one piece wth a snap bottom is convenient, but why is a romper better than pants?

Rompers for babies have the snaps at the bottom too. They are slightly less convenient than onesies because there are more snaps, but still more convenient than pants you have to take off and then try to wriggle them back into. And then when the weather gets colder, I wound up doing a lot of footed pajamas all day long, which also either have snaps at the bottom or a zipper that runs down to the feet. It's really helpful to have just a single garment that you don't have to fully remove for diaper changes.

Some people like this baby dress things that you can tie off at the bottom, but my baby spent a lot of time in a sling or k'tan starting from week one and for those you want the legs free. So we did onesies, rompers, and footed jammies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unclench and realize it doesn’t matter.

I was the opposite of your wife (although not at 3.5 weeks - baby was early September and it was hotter than it is now, so she was usually in a onesie for her first month). I, very irrationally, didn’t like her wearing “pajamas” during the day, so I usually dressed her in a onesie and pants, even if we were staying home. And they had to coordinate. But I also got dressed every morning. I needed the routine for my sanity.

And I STILL think this isn’t a battle worth fighting, OP. Let it go. Or tell your mom to let it go, and then when she doesn’t, keep telling her to let it go and don’t pass her complaints on to your wife. Because even if you aren’t telling your wife it’s coming from your mom, she knows it is.

+1 I also dressed my babies in pants for the most part because I felt they were easier for me but this is so not a battle you need to fight. When you’re changing the baby into a fresh outfit, put them in whatever you like and let your wife do the same.

I will also add that babies are really different shapes and thus different types/brands of clothing fit differently. The reason cotton knit is so popular is because it’s stretchy and a bit more flexible. We definitely received some woven/non-cotton gift clothing that my kids never fit into just because of proportions. Don’t stress about having to use every gift you get, especially of newborn clothing.

[Anonymous]

Why would a 4 eek old baby need anything other than rompers and onesies? We had a ton of adorable outfits for our son, but he didn't ear them until we felt sane, less sleep deprived, and we were leaving the house regularly.

If she is nursing and whatnot, just let it go and let her do what she believes is comfortable for the baby.

[Anonymous]

At the very least, op, stomp around the house grumbling about it for the next few weeks. That will definitely help.

[Anonymous]

Team wife. You can dress the baby in whatever you want if you get him ready in the morning and feed and change him.

Fancy baby clothes are stupid and a waste of money.

If it’s your mom / sisters / aunts buying the clothes and complaining, then you need to dress the baby in the gifts and snap some photos of him looking cute and send them.