I secretly hate my spouse’s eye color (brown)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I do indeed have brown eyes, but I'm Asian, so I can't help it. My DH (white) has gray/blue eyes.

We non-Asian people with brown eyes also can't help it.

[Anonymous]

What color are your eyes, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

A more interesting conversation might be focused on how blue eyes are portrayed as something desirable and worthy of note in all forms of media. OP formed her preference based on something. I always notice mention of tow-heads and blue eyes in magazine articles.

Portrayed? It’s because they’re pretty. Nobody thinks the color brown in general is pretty. It’s…brown. Blue is the pretty color of the sky, the ocean, and light eyes.

DP.

Nope.

That's your bias speaking. I grew up afraid of blue eyes. We had a few kids with blue eyes and they had a nick name for people with them. It had something to do with them looking like cats. The were frightening. It was ignorance, but not everyone finds them automatically beautiful.

I married a man with blue eyes, and it's the last thing I notice. His height, his deep and his curve legs are what I find attractive. The eyes are okay. I don't hate them, but I don't find them more beautiful than other eyes. I love big brown eyes especially on n someone with jet black hair ( I don't get the obsession with blond hair either- I think it washes most people out.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PSA: Yes, preference for blue eyes is racist because it's inherently preferring a trait that by and large only white people have and that is genetically determined. Sorry if that shocks or offends anyone who never put two and two together and thought it was innocuous all their lives. I only realized it myself when I was in my 30s.

ETA: I would soften the use of "racist" to say "biased," i.e., strong preference for/praise of blue eyes evinces unconscious bias, and the social preference for blue eyes is likely linked to bias.

It’s not a bias to simply prefer something you were born with or prominent in your own family. It’s probably just instincts and of course blue is simply a really pretty color. Blue is the most common response to people’s favorite color.

Red is obviously the prettiest color. Don't prefer red eyes.

On a more serious note, I think that popular responses to what is your favorite color doesn't necessarily mean that it is an objectively pretty color. I bet it varies by culture and over time. Right now blue is associated with masculinity, for example, so maybe people like blue because they unconsciously associate it with strength.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PSA: Yes, preference for blue eyes is racist because it's inherently preferring a trait that by and large only white people have and that is genetically determined. Sorry if that shocks or offends anyone who never put two and two together and thought it was innocuous all their lives. I only realized it myself when I was in my 30s.

ETA: I would soften the use of "racist" to say "biased," i.e., strong preference for/praise of blue eyes evinces unconscious bias, and the social preference for blue eyes is likely linked to bias.

It’s not a bias to simply prefer something you were born with or prominent in your own family. It’s probably just instincts and of course blue is simply a really pretty color. Blue is the most common response to people’s favorite color.

Red is obviously the prettiest color. Don't prefer red eyes.

On a more serious note, I think that popular responses to what is your favorite color doesn't necessarily mean that it is an objectively pretty color. I bet it varies by culture and over time. Right now blue is associated with masculinity, for example, so maybe people like blue because they unconsciously associate it with strength.

I love purple, but I don't think purple will be a great color for eyes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

A more interesting conversation might be focused on how blue eyes are portrayed as something desirable and worthy of note in all forms of media. OP formed her preference based on something. I always notice mention of tow-heads and blue eyes in magazine articles.

Portrayed? It’s because they’re pretty. Nobody thinks the color brown in general is pretty. It’s…brown. Blue is the pretty color of the sky, the ocean, and light eyes.

I feel like this is a bit of a fail on the part of the American education system. It’s not just that people don’t know that a preference for blue eyes has in the past been associated with racism, but they keep responding that there cannot be a connection because of some random, unrelated fact or opinion.

I don’t actually think a preference for blue eyes is racist or even always biased but to say the claim is absurd, having done no research about it, is a pretty ignorant way to go about life.

So you have done the research? How much? What degree is needed so that you can claim your view is not ignorant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the stupidest thing on DCUM today and I'm sure you know what a feat that is.

You’re not the first PP to respond with this, but why do you think it’s stupid? I can see shallow and racist, but why stupid?

Dp Because what is the point except telling us how shallow the op is. If they didn't like brown eyes why did you marry someone with brown eyes? So, it is your problem op

I’m OP. I married him because I love him. I just wish his eyes were blue. It’s not the end of the world that they’re not. It’s just a personal preference.

Physically, I preferred it when my husband had hair, but I’d never say I secretly hate his bald head. Do you see the difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

A more interesting conversation might be focused on how blue eyes are portrayed as something desirable and worthy of note in all forms of media. OP formed her preference based on something. I always notice mention of tow-heads and blue eyes in magazine articles.

Portrayed? It’s because they’re pretty. Nobody thinks the color brown in general is pretty. It’s…brown. Blue is the pretty color of the sky, the ocean, and light eyes.

I feel like this is a bit of a fail on the part of the American education system. It’s not just that people don’t know that a preference for blue eyes has in the past been associated with racism, but they keep responding that there cannot be a connection because of some random, unrelated fact or opinion.

I don’t actually think a preference for blue eyes is racist or even always biased but to say the claim is absurd, having done no research about it, is a pretty ignorant way to go about life.

So you have done the research? How much? What degree is needed so that you can claim your view is not ignorant?

Instead of trying to deflect you could go google something like “ayran eye color preference” or something. Or just ask chat GPT.

[Anonymous]

Are your eyes blue?

I am a dark brunette with blue eyes that married a green-eyed blonde-- ended up with 2 blue eye blonde teens.

You seem strange. Were you physically attracted to him when you first met?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I do indeed have brown eyes, but I'm Asian, so I can't help it. My DH (white) has gray/blue eyes.

We non-Asian people with brown eyes also can't help it.

You just haven’t tried hard enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

A more interesting conversation might be focused on how blue eyes are portrayed as something desirable and worthy of note in all forms of media. OP formed her preference based on something. I always notice mention of tow-heads and blue eyes in magazine articles.

Portrayed? It’s because they’re pretty. Nobody thinks the color brown in general is pretty. It’s…brown. Blue is the pretty color of the sky, the ocean, and light eyes.

I feel like this is a bit of a fail on the part of the American education system. It’s not just that people don’t know that a preference for blue eyes has in the past been associated with racism, but they keep responding that there cannot be a connection because of some random, unrelated fact or opinion.

I don’t actually think a preference for blue eyes is racist or even always biased but to say the claim is absurd, having done no research about it, is a pretty ignorant way to go about life.

So you have done the research? How much? What degree is needed so that you can claim your view is not ignorant?

Instead of trying to deflect you could go google something like “ayran eye color preference” or something. Or just ask chat GPT.

No, PP (you?) claims an opinion and that the only valuable opinions about what someone feels are based on research so PP (you?) must have done some research. What’s the research what are their qualifications based on their own standard?

[Anonymous]

It’s what not said that speaks volumes, as well. Snub nose, spray of freckles, white- blonde hair. When did you last read a puff piece with flared nostrils or tightly coiled hair as descriptors? I wonder how many times Taylor Swift’s whiteness, blonde hair and blue eyes have been mentioned in print?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

A more interesting conversation might be focused on how blue eyes are portrayed as something desirable and worthy of note in all forms of media. OP formed her preference based on something. I always notice mention of tow-heads and blue eyes in magazine articles.

Portrayed? It’s because they’re pretty. Nobody thinks the color brown in general is pretty. It’s…brown. Blue is the pretty color of the sky, the ocean, and light eyes.

I feel like this is a bit of a fail on the part of the American education system. It’s not just that people don’t know that a preference for blue eyes has in the past been associated with racism, but they keep responding that there cannot be a connection because of some random, unrelated fact or opinion.

I don’t actually think a preference for blue eyes is racist or even always biased but to say the claim is absurd, having done no research about it, is a pretty ignorant way to go about life.

So you have done the research? How much? What degree is needed so that you can claim your view is not ignorant?

Instead of trying to deflect you could go google something like “ayran eye color preference” or something. Or just ask chat GPT.

No, PP (you?) claims an opinion and that the only valuable opinions about what someone feels are based on research so PP (you?) must have done some research. What’s the research what are their qualifications based on their own standard?

Are you a red pill type? You seem like a red pill type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse has blue. I have brown. DS has brown. When he was little he'd tell me how much he disliked "light eyes" and was so happy he had brown ones! To each their own.

Brown eyes are the dominant gene. If one parent has brown eyes then kids will also have brown eyes. Blue eyes are a recessive gene. In general, both parents must have blue eyes for kids to have blue eyes. Both my parents had blue eyes and all 3 kids have blue eyes as a result.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse has blue. I have brown. DS has brown. When he was little he'd tell me how much he disliked "light eyes" and was so happy he had brown ones! To each their own.

Brown eyes are the dominant gene. If one parent has brown eyes then kids will also have brown eyes. Blue eyes are a recessive gene. In general, both parents must have blue eyes for kids to have blue eyes. Both my parents had blue eyes and all 3 kids have blue eyes as a result.

Ugh. Two parents with Bb (brown dominant gene; blue recessive gene) could have a blue-yes child if they both carry a recessive blue gene. The genes have two alleles

My brunette mom has brown eyes. My dad was a brunette with blue eyes (bb). My mom carries a recessive blue gene (Bb).

I have almond shaped blue eyes.
My sister has large round brown eyes.
My brother has hazel almond shaped eyes.