husband as "junior partner" in childrearing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These whine-fests are never ending. Have you never left your children at home for a weekend with your husband in charge? If not, why not? When you arrive home and all the kids are accounted for and no one had to go to the ER, it’s all good. His way might not be YOUR way, but isn’t that okay? To the super planners who posted…You need a “plan” to go out to dinner? What’s the problem with, “Kids, grab your coats, we are going out for dinner tonight.”

It’s like: I arrive home after a night out and its 9pm and kid hasn’t eaten dinner and DH is expecting me to make it.

Or I arrive home and its 10pm and kid isn’t in bed (guess who gets to handle the fallout)

Or I arrive home and there are dishes everywhere that nobody else will do.

Just go to bed.

So it's like a game of chicken as to who's willing to neglect the children the most?

+1 wtf is wrong with this poster? if you didn't want kids, you shouldn't have had kids.

-1 If you can't go out and come home at 9pm and go straight to bed and have your H handle parenting you are a terrible parent and a f'd up person.

If you want kids you need to let their father parent them, stop being such an insane control freak.

Wanting a kid to have dinner before 9 (or dinner at all) is being a control freak? Wow.

Yeah, either that poster is a troll or is projecting. Like, if you come home and rant at your DH because the kids had cereal and ice cream for dinner that night, I'd say unclench. But she said her DH hadn't fed them and it was 9 (presumably several hours after their normal dinner time). To the PP with this DH -- that's not junior-partner parenting, that's just being an utterly selfish a-hole. There were no indications you were marrying this kind of person?

Yes, it’s controlling. Do you control freaks it sounds completely normal to come home at 9 o’clock and start in on your husband… Have the kids eaten? Did they do their homework? Did you do spelling words? Do they have their pajamas on? How much TV did they watch? Did they brush their teeth? Did you wipe down the counter?

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah… give it an effing rest

If you think doing a good job as a parent is the same thing as being controlled, I don't know what to tell you. Ideally a father would motivate for nutrition, academics, health, and sleep on his own. If he doesn't, that's junior partner behavior and he deserves to be treated that way.

This is very toxic thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These whine-fests are never ending. Have you never left your children at home for a weekend with your husband in charge? If not, why not? When you arrive home and all the kids are accounted for and no one had to go to the ER, it’s all good. His way might not be YOUR way, but isn’t that okay? To the super planners who posted…You need a “plan” to go out to dinner? What’s the problem with, “Kids, grab your coats, we are going out for dinner tonight.”

It’s like: I arrive home after a night out and its 9pm and kid hasn’t eaten dinner and DH is expecting me to make it.

Or I arrive home and its 10pm and kid isn’t in bed (guess who gets to handle the fallout)

Or I arrive home and there are dishes everywhere that nobody else will do.

Just go to bed.

So it's like a game of chicken as to who's willing to neglect the children the most?

+1 wtf is wrong with this poster? if you didn't want kids, you shouldn't have had kids.

-1 If you can't go out and come home at 9pm and go straight to bed and have your H handle parenting you are a terrible parent and a f'd up person.

If you want kids you need to let their father parent them, stop being such an insane control freak.

Wanting a kid to have dinner before 9 (or dinner at all) is being a control freak? Wow.

Yeah, either that poster is a troll or is projecting. Like, if you come home and rant at your DH because the kids had cereal and ice cream for dinner that night, I'd say unclench. But she said her DH hadn't fed them and it was 9 (presumably several hours after their normal dinner time). To the PP with this DH -- that's not junior-partner parenting, that's just being an utterly selfish a-hole. There were no indications you were marrying this kind of person?

Yes, it’s controlling. Do you control freaks it sounds completely normal to come home at 9 o’clock and start in on your husband… Have the kids eaten? Did they do their homework? Did you do spelling words? Do they have their pajamas on? How much TV did they watch? Did they brush their teeth? Did you wipe down the counter?

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah… give it an effing rest

If you think doing a good job as a parent is the same thing as being controlled, I don't know what to tell you. Ideally a father would motivate for nutrition, academics, health, and sleep on his own. If he doesn't, that's junior partner behavior and he deserves to be treated that way.

If you think, controlling every aspect of your child’s life is being a good parent, well, I’ll let their therapist tell you in a few years why it wasn’t.

You’re too self righteous and hard headed to hear anything, you’re the perfect parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These whine-fests are never ending. Have you never left your children at home for a weekend with your husband in charge? If not, why not? When you arrive home and all the kids are accounted for and no one had to go to the ER, it’s all good. His way might not be YOUR way, but isn’t that okay? To the super planners who posted…You need a “plan” to go out to dinner? What’s the problem with, “Kids, grab your coats, we are going out for dinner tonight.”

It’s like: I arrive home after a night out and its 9pm and kid hasn’t eaten dinner and DH is expecting me to make it.

Or I arrive home and its 10pm and kid isn’t in bed (guess who gets to handle the fallout)

Or I arrive home and there are dishes everywhere that nobody else will do.

Just go to bed.

So it's like a game of chicken as to who's willing to neglect the children the most?

+1 wtf is wrong with this poster? if you didn't want kids, you shouldn't have had kids.

-1 If you can't go out and come home at 9pm and go straight to bed and have your H handle parenting you are a terrible parent and a f'd up person.

If you want kids you need to let their father parent them, stop being such an insane control freak.

Wanting a kid to have dinner before 9 (or dinner at all) is being a control freak? Wow.

Yeah, either that poster is a troll or is projecting. Like, if you come home and rant at your DH because the kids had cereal and ice cream for dinner that night, I'd say unclench. But she said her DH hadn't fed them and it was 9 (presumably several hours after their normal dinner time). To the PP with this DH -- that's not junior-partner parenting, that's just being an utterly selfish a-hole. There were no indications you were marrying this kind of person?

Yes, it’s controlling. Do you control freaks it sounds completely normal to come home at 9 o’clock and start in on your husband… Have the kids eaten? Did they do their homework? Did you do spelling words? Do they have their pajamas on? How much TV did they watch? Did they brush their teeth? Did you wipe down the counter?

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah… give it an effing rest

If you think doing a good job as a parent is the same thing as being controlled, I don't know what to tell you. Ideally a father would motivate for nutrition, academics, health, and sleep on his own. If he doesn't, that's junior partner behavior and he deserves to be treated that way.

This is very toxic thinking.

She doesn’t get it. She won’t for a long time.

She thinks if she can control every single solitary aspect of her child’s life. It will all turn out great when in actuality, it’s exact opposite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These whine-fests are never ending. Have you never left your children at home for a weekend with your husband in charge? If not, why not? When you arrive home and all the kids are accounted for and no one had to go to the ER, it’s all good. His way might not be YOUR way, but isn’t that okay? To the super planners who posted…You need a “plan” to go out to dinner? What’s the problem with, “Kids, grab your coats, we are going out for dinner tonight.”

It’s like: I arrive home after a night out and its 9pm and kid hasn’t eaten dinner and DH is expecting me to make it.

Or I arrive home and its 10pm and kid isn’t in bed (guess who gets to handle the fallout)

Or I arrive home and there are dishes everywhere that nobody else will do.

Just go to bed.

So it's like a game of chicken as to who's willing to neglect the children the most?

+1 wtf is wrong with this poster? if you didn't want kids, you shouldn't have had kids.

-1 If you can't go out and come home at 9pm and go straight to bed and have your H handle parenting you are a terrible parent and a f'd up person.

If you want kids you need to let their father parent them, stop being such an insane control freak.

Wanting a kid to have dinner before 9 (or dinner at all) is being a control freak? Wow.

Yeah, either that poster is a troll or is projecting. Like, if you come home and rant at your DH because the kids had cereal and ice cream for dinner that night, I'd say unclench. But she said her DH hadn't fed them and it was 9 (presumably several hours after their normal dinner time). To the PP with this DH -- that's not junior-partner parenting, that's just being an utterly selfish a-hole. There were no indications you were marrying this kind of person?

Yes, it’s controlling. Do you control freaks it sounds completely normal to come home at 9 o’clock and start in on your husband… Have the kids eaten? Did they do their homework? Did you do spelling words? Do they have their pajamas on? How much TV did they watch? Did they brush their teeth? Did you wipe down the counter?

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah… give it an effing rest

I don’t think she’d need to ask these questions. Pretty sure the kids would tell her about the fact that daddy didn’t feed them quickly and she can easily see if they’re in pjs and if the dishes are done. And if I came home to discover my partner had f’d up our evening routine like that I’d be asking what horrible emergency occurred. I feel bad for the PP for whom that’s a normal occurrence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These whine-fests are never ending. Have you never left your children at home for a weekend with your husband in charge? If not, why not? When you arrive home and all the kids are accounted for and no one had to go to the ER, it’s all good. His way might not be YOUR way, but isn’t that okay? To the super planners who posted…You need a “plan” to go out to dinner? What’s the problem with, “Kids, grab your coats, we are going out for dinner tonight.”

It’s like: I arrive home after a night out and its 9pm and kid hasn’t eaten dinner and DH is expecting me to make it.

Or I arrive home and its 10pm and kid isn’t in bed (guess who gets to handle the fallout)

Or I arrive home and there are dishes everywhere that nobody else will do.

Just go to bed.

So it's like a game of chicken as to who's willing to neglect the children the most?

+1 wtf is wrong with this poster? if you didn't want kids, you shouldn't have had kids.

-1 If you can't go out and come home at 9pm and go straight to bed and have your H handle parenting you are a terrible parent and a f'd up person.

If you want kids you need to let their father parent them, stop being such an insane control freak.

Wanting a kid to have dinner before 9 (or dinner at all) is being a control freak? Wow.

Yeah, either that poster is a troll or is projecting. Like, if you come home and rant at your DH because the kids had cereal and ice cream for dinner that night, I'd say unclench. But she said her DH hadn't fed them and it was 9 (presumably several hours after their normal dinner time). To the PP with this DH -- that's not junior-partner parenting, that's just being an utterly selfish a-hole. There were no indications you were marrying this kind of person?

Yes, it’s controlling. Do you control freaks it sounds completely normal to come home at 9 o’clock and start in on your husband… Have the kids eaten? Did they do their homework? Did you do spelling words? Do they have their pajamas on? How much TV did they watch? Did they brush their teeth? Did you wipe down the counter?

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah… give it an effing rest

If you think doing a good job as a parent is the same thing as being controlled, I don't know what to tell you. Ideally a father would motivate for nutrition, academics, health, and sleep on his own. If he doesn't, that's junior partner behavior and he deserves to be treated that way.

If you think, controlling every aspect of your child’s life is being a good parent, well, I’ll let their therapist tell you in a few years why it wasn’t.

You’re too self righteous and hard headed to hear anything, you’re the perfect parent.

It's not about controlling every aspect, it's about doing an good job as a parent. Not even a great job, just a good job. Not being Fun Slacker Daddy and dumping the real work on your wife. That's the goal. Sorry it's too hard for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These whine-fests are never ending. Have you never left your children at home for a weekend with your husband in charge? If not, why not? When you arrive home and all the kids are accounted for and no one had to go to the ER, it’s all good. His way might not be YOUR way, but isn’t that okay? To the super planners who posted…You need a “plan” to go out to dinner? What’s the problem with, “Kids, grab your coats, we are going out for dinner tonight.”

It’s like: I arrive home after a night out and its 9pm and kid hasn’t eaten dinner and DH is expecting me to make it.

Or I arrive home and its 10pm and kid isn’t in bed (guess who gets to handle the fallout)

Or I arrive home and there are dishes everywhere that nobody else will do.

Just go to bed.

So it's like a game of chicken as to who's willing to neglect the children the most?

+1 wtf is wrong with this poster? if you didn't want kids, you shouldn't have had kids.

-1 If you can't go out and come home at 9pm and go straight to bed and have your H handle parenting you are a terrible parent and a f'd up person.

If you want kids you need to let their father parent them, stop being such an insane control freak.

Wanting a kid to have dinner before 9 (or dinner at all) is being a control freak? Wow.

Yeah, either that poster is a troll or is projecting. Like, if you come home and rant at your DH because the kids had cereal and ice cream for dinner that night, I'd say unclench. But she said her DH hadn't fed them and it was 9 (presumably several hours after their normal dinner time). To the PP with this DH -- that's not junior-partner parenting, that's just being an utterly selfish a-hole. There were no indications you were marrying this kind of person?

Yes, it’s controlling. Do you control freaks it sounds completely normal to come home at 9 o’clock and start in on your husband… Have the kids eaten? Did they do their homework? Did you do spelling words? Do they have their pajamas on? How much TV did they watch? Did they brush their teeth? Did you wipe down the counter?

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah… give it an effing rest

Well, it's normal to have fed the children some food, done a good job on homework, and gotten them ready for bed, and then cleaned up a little. That's what a normal person would do. Is that just too burdensome for you, low energy beta dad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These whine-fests are never ending. Have you never left your children at home for a weekend with your husband in charge? If not, why not? When you arrive home and all the kids are accounted for and no one had to go to the ER, it’s all good. His way might not be YOUR way, but isn’t that okay? To the super planners who posted…You need a “plan” to go out to dinner? What’s the problem with, “Kids, grab your coats, we are going out for dinner tonight.”

It’s like: I arrive home after a night out and its 9pm and kid hasn’t eaten dinner and DH is expecting me to make it.

Or I arrive home and its 10pm and kid isn’t in bed (guess who gets to handle the fallout)

Or I arrive home and there are dishes everywhere that nobody else will do.

Just go to bed.

So it's like a game of chicken as to who's willing to neglect the children the most?

+1 wtf is wrong with this poster? if you didn't want kids, you shouldn't have had kids.

-1 If you can't go out and come home at 9pm and go straight to bed and have your H handle parenting you are a terrible parent and a f'd up person.

If you want kids you need to let their father parent them, stop being such an insane control freak.

Wanting a kid to have dinner before 9 (or dinner at all) is being a control freak? Wow.

Yeah, either that poster is a troll or is projecting. Like, if you come home and rant at your DH because the kids had cereal and ice cream for dinner that night, I'd say unclench. But she said her DH hadn't fed them and it was 9 (presumably several hours after their normal dinner time). To the PP with this DH -- that's not junior-partner parenting, that's just being an utterly selfish a-hole. There were no indications you were marrying this kind of person?

Yes, it’s controlling. Do you control freaks it sounds completely normal to come home at 9 o’clock and start in on your husband… Have the kids eaten? Did they do their homework? Did you do spelling words? Do they have their pajamas on? How much TV did they watch? Did they brush their teeth? Did you wipe down the counter?

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah… give it an effing rest

I don’t think she’d need to ask these questions. Pretty sure the kids would tell her about the fact that daddy didn’t feed them quickly and she can easily see if they’re in pjs and if the dishes are done. And if I came home to discover my partner had f’d up our evening routine like that I’d be asking what horrible emergency occurred. I feel bad for the PP for whom that’s a normal occurrence.

Oh thats so much better an inspection of the quarters.

How about this just go to bed.

Don’t ask, don’t inspect the quarters, just go to bed read a book. Enjoy your time and stop judging everybody.

Lol OUR routine? Don’t you mean your routine that you think is the only right way of doing everything and you forced upon your spouse?

[Anonymous]

She's just trying to figure out how much of your slack she has to pick up.

[Anonymous]

If you come home at 9 and your child is awake and hungry and DH asks you to make dinner...yeah DH is an a-hole and I don't know how anybody can argue otherwise with a straight face. Those who are arguing it's bc the wife is controlling are not being serious. They are trying to get a rise out of folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you come home at 9 and your child is awake and hungry and DH asks you to make dinner...yeah DH is an a-hole and I don't know how anybody can argue otherwise with a straight face. Those who are arguing it's bc the wife is controlling are not being serious. They are trying to get a rise out of folks.

If anybody who comes home at 9 o’clock and starts questioning their husband about everything that happened that night. Yeah you’re a control freak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you come home at 9 and your child is awake and hungry and DH asks you to make dinner...yeah DH is an a-hole and I don't know how anybody can argue otherwise with a straight face. Those who are arguing it's bc the wife is controlling are not being serious. They are trying to get a rise out of folks.

If anybody who comes home at 9 o’clock and starts questioning their husband about everything that happened that night. Yeah you’re a control freak.

It's not everything. It's just a few key things. And if you were more reliable, she wouldn't need to ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my home, it's because my job is to think of all the stuff that has to be done. My DH will help out, but he looks to me to know what he's supposed to help with. I get pretty excited when he takes initiative and figures something out on his own, but it's so, so rare.

It honestly started when I was pregnant. I was actually pregnant, so already I was more "involved" in that I actually had stuff I had to do at that point and DH didn't. But it also meant I was ready baby books, doing research, figuring out what we needed, thinking about how we'd approach certain initial parenting choices like feeding and sleep. I tried really hard to get DH involved in this, but he just... wouldn't. He'd read a page of a baby book and lose interest. He kept saying stuff like "I'd rather figure it out as we go." Which yeah, there is an element of that, but I didn't want to be figuring it ALL out as we went. I wanted to know, for instance, where the baby would be sleeping at first, and at least know enough bout stuff like breastfeeding, sleep, etc. to be able to make informed choices when the time came.

So I became the person who knew things and planned ahead, and DH because the parent who liked to "wing it". This inevitably leads to him asking me for stuff, needing me to tell him about stuff, etc. So much of parenting is not conducive to winging it. Schools HATE parents who wing it -- you have to be on top of things and on time. Summer camps start booking up in January, so if you wing it, congratulations -- you don't have childcare this summer now. Going on vacation with kids requires planning. Going out to dinner with kids requires planning.

We also have a kid with ADHD and other special needs, and let me tell you: DH's "wing it" approach is a disaster there. This kid has high rigidity and low distress tolerance, so you can't just assume she will roll with it when her preferred foods aren't available, nap doesn't happen when she expects it to, or a promised treat or event simply doesn't happen.

So, yes, DH is my "junior partner" in parenting because I did all the homework and he just showed up. I just know all the stuff. I also actually retain information from mistakes we make in the past, where he just lives in the present a lot. It does annoy him sometimes, and it annoys me too. But we both know the only way to change it is for him to step up and start doing more planning, paying more attention, and not relying on me to be the person who knows everything and prepares for everything, and I think his interest in that is low. So it continues. I don't love it but at least when I ask him to do stuff, he usually does it.

One kid is more than manageable, even with a junior partner DH. Just don’t have another with him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you come home at 9 and your child is awake and hungry and DH asks you to make dinner...yeah DH is an a-hole and I don't know how anybody can argue otherwise with a straight face. Those who are arguing it's bc the wife is controlling are not being serious. They are trying to get a rise out of folks.

If anybody who comes home at 9 o’clock and starts questioning their husband about everything that happened that night. Yeah you’re a control freak.

You need to find a better hobby lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These whine-fests are never ending. Have you never left your children at home for a weekend with your husband in charge? If not, why not? When you arrive home and all the kids are accounted for and no one had to go to the ER, it’s all good. His way might not be YOUR way, but isn’t that okay? To the super planners who posted…You need a “plan” to go out to dinner? What’s the problem with, “Kids, grab your coats, we are going out for dinner tonight.”

It’s like: I arrive home after a night out and its 9pm and kid hasn’t eaten dinner and DH is expecting me to make it.

Or I arrive home and its 10pm and kid isn’t in bed (guess who gets to handle the fallout)

Or I arrive home and there are dishes everywhere that nobody else will do.

Just go to bed.

So it's like a game of chicken as to who's willing to neglect the children the most?

+1 wtf is wrong with this poster? if you didn't want kids, you shouldn't have had kids.

-1 If you can't go out and come home at 9pm and go straight to bed and have your H handle parenting you are a terrible parent and a f'd up person.

If you want kids you need to let their father parent them, stop being such an insane control freak.

Wanting a kid to have dinner before 9 (or dinner at all) is being a control freak? Wow.

Yeah, either that poster is a troll or is projecting. Like, if you come home and rant at your DH because the kids had cereal and ice cream for dinner that night, I'd say unclench. But she said her DH hadn't fed them and it was 9 (presumably several hours after their normal dinner time). To the PP with this DH -- that's not junior-partner parenting, that's just being an utterly selfish a-hole. There were no indications you were marrying this kind of person?

I don't believe this. No kid would let it get to 9 without demanding dinner or something to eat.

If they’re scared of their dad or have already asked and he didn’t give them anything, it’s entirely plausible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These whine-fests are never ending. Have you never left your children at home for a weekend with your husband in charge? If not, why not? When you arrive home and all the kids are accounted for and no one had to go to the ER, it’s all good. His way might not be YOUR way, but isn’t that okay? To the super planners who posted…You need a “plan” to go out to dinner? What’s the problem with, “Kids, grab your coats, we are going out for dinner tonight.”

It’s like: I arrive home after a night out and its 9pm and kid hasn’t eaten dinner and DH is expecting me to make it.

Or I arrive home and its 10pm and kid isn’t in bed (guess who gets to handle the fallout)

Or I arrive home and there are dishes everywhere that nobody else will do.

Just go to bed.

So it's like a game of chicken as to who's willing to neglect the children the most?

+1 wtf is wrong with this poster? if you didn't want kids, you shouldn't have had kids.

-1 If you can't go out and come home at 9pm and go straight to bed and have your H handle parenting you are a terrible parent and a f'd up person.

If you want kids you need to let their father parent them, stop being such an insane control freak.

Wanting a kid to have dinner before 9 (or dinner at all) is being a control freak? Wow.

Yeah, either that poster is a troll or is projecting. Like, if you come home and rant at your DH because the kids had cereal and ice cream for dinner that night, I'd say unclench. But she said her DH hadn't fed them and it was 9 (presumably several hours after their normal dinner time). To the PP with this DH -- that's not junior-partner parenting, that's just being an utterly selfish a-hole. There were no indications you were marrying this kind of person?

Yes, it’s controlling. Do you control freaks it sounds completely normal to come home at 9 o’clock and start in on your husband… Have the kids eaten? Did they do their homework? Did you do spelling words? Do they have their pajamas on? How much TV did they watch? Did they brush their teeth? Did you wipe down the counter?

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah… give it an effing rest

If you think doing a good job as a parent is the same thing as being controlled, I don't know what to tell you. Ideally a father would motivate for nutrition, academics, health, and sleep on his own. If he doesn't, that's junior partner behavior and he deserves to be treated that way.

This is very toxic thinking.

She doesn’t get it. She won’t for a long time.

She thinks if she can control every single solitary aspect of her child’s life. It will all turn out great when in actuality, it’s exact opposite.

hmm yeah, famously, kids don’t need to eat, sleep, exercise or go to school