Odd that I don't want a wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not odd. I didn't either and caved. To this day, it makes me mad that we spent so much money on a wedding. Ugh.

I actually kind of feel that way, too. The photos of the people who are no longer around are nice, however.

[Anonymous]

I had a, by dcum standards cheap by my standards at 25 expensive, wedding and it felt very worth it. I absolutely do not think everyone needs a wedding or would enjoy it but the worth of a wedding sometimes does get lost in the discussion.

For us it was not about having a big party, but all the people who were in attendance. It was really cool getting to celebrate with both sides of our extended families and our different friend groups from over the years all in one place. It really was a once in a lifetime experience for both of us as we will most likely never get to be in a room with all of those people again.

I know well that this would not be a good thing for lots of people (particularly those with strained family relationships) but I just wanted to throw this in as I think some people dumb down weddings to being over the top overly expensive parties. While it can be this, too, it can be a meaningful and amazing experience seeing all of your loved ones around you and getting to know each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a, by dcum standards cheap by my standards at 25 expensive, wedding and it felt very worth it. I absolutely do not think everyone needs a wedding or would enjoy it but the worth of a wedding sometimes does get lost in the discussion.

For us it was not about having a big party, but all the people who were in attendance. It was really cool getting to celebrate with both sides of our extended families and our different friend groups from over the years all in one place. It really was a once in a lifetime experience for both of us as we will most likely never get to be in a room with all of those people again.

I know well that this would not be a good thing for lots of people (particularly those with strained family relationships) but I just wanted to throw this in as I think some people dumb down weddings to being over the top overly expensive parties. While it can be this, too, it can be a meaningful and amazing experience seeing all of your loved ones around you and getting to know each other.

PP here. Same. While I was not okay with other people trying to dictate any facet of our day (we paid), in the end, I was glad it was a relatively small event for our family, where and when we wanted it.

[Anonymous]

Not odd at all! I eloped. I consider weddings a tremendous waste of money. Plus, I’m shy so the idea of being the center of attention for the event was nightmarish.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t want a wedding. Had one as well, and was miserable for the entire engagement leading up to it and the wedding planning and then I was miserable on that day at self because I really did not want a wedding.

[Anonymous]

My cousin's kid isn't getting married because it's too expensive. She seems to not realize that she can be married without spending thousands on the hoopla.

Do what you want, OP. Elope, have a really small ceremony - whatever you want it to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We got married in a Catholic Church with just two witnesses. It just felt very personal/private to me. A couple friends and family were offended at not being there. But most were fine with it once they knew no one had been invited.

This is my dream wedding. I have the personality for a courthouse wedding but marrying in the Church means something to me. I've never heard of someone having a religious wedding that wasn't a big affair, but this sounds wonderful. Did you have any type of reception?

No, we just took our 2 witnesses out to dinner. 12 years and three kids later we have no regrets. The pre marital counseling our church mandated was helpful, especially wrt finances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We got married in a Catholic Church with just two witnesses. It just felt very personal/private to me. A couple friends and family were offended at not being there. But most were fine with it once they knew no one had been invited.

This is my dream wedding. I have the personality for a courthouse wedding but marrying in the Church means something to me. I've never heard of someone having a religious wedding that wasn't a big affair, but this sounds wonderful. Did you have any type of reception?

No, we just took our 2 witnesses out to dinner. 12 years and three kids later we have no regrets. The pre marital counseling our church mandated was helpful, especially wrt finances.

PP you quoted. That sounds so nice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s odd if you have happy family and friend relationships, it’s your first marriage, and your early 30s or younger.

If some aspect of that doesn’t apply to you, I get it.

This, except I'm not sure about the age restriction. Even older people love an excuse for a party.

Yes. Especially if it’s your first marriage at an older age. So many weddings celebrating couples in their 20s and 30s who will be divorced in 5 or 10 years. In some ways I think the (especially first marriage) of a couple in their 40s/50s + plus deserves more fanfare and celebration than they typically receive.

[Anonymous]

SMART

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As mentioned in the title, is it odd that I don't want a wedding? The idea of even a small wedding with just family isn't appealing with the planning and booking involved in picking a city, venue, food, accommodations, dress, hair, make-up, photographer, etc. I think I would rather elope.

I was the same way. I don't like to be the center of attention. I love to attend other peoples weddings though. DH and I got married, just the two of us in Italy. My parents were actually relieved, they were worried they would be on the hook for paying for a wedding!It was perfect and exactly what we wanted. that was 12 years and I wouldnt change a thing

[Anonymous]

I didn't have one. I just don't enjoy being the center of attention (and yeah, the cost) so we eloped.

[Anonymous]

Didn’t want one, didn’t have one. Got married at the courthouse and had a nice lunch together afterwards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s odd if you have happy family and friend relationships, it’s your first marriage, and your early 30s or younger.

If some aspect of that doesn’t apply to you, I get it.

This, except I'm not sure about the age restriction. Even older people love an excuse for a party.

Yes. Especially if it’s your first marriage at an older age. So many weddings celebrating couples in their 20s and 30s who will be divorced in 5 or 10 years. In some ways I think the (especially first marriage) of a couple in their 40s/50s + plus deserves more fanfare and celebration than they typically receive.

Is this a joke? How many times have you been married? Is a wedding for practice marriage now - the first ones do not count? Wow. If you want a party, throw a party, don't keep getting married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think women who say this think they get brownie points for "not being like other girls" or something.

Yes. You, personally, are the only woman on this earth who doesn't care about weddings.

Or maybe some of us are introverted, don’t like parties, and don’t want to be the center of attention?

Correct. My baby shower was very uncomfortable for me. I was happy to see everyone and mingle but then it came time for games and opening presents and I just wanted it over.