Odd that I don't want a wedding?

[Anonymous]

As mentioned in the title, is it odd that I don't want a wedding? The idea of even a small wedding with just family isn't appealing with the planning and booking involved in picking a city, venue, food, accommodations, dress, hair, make-up, photographer, etc. I think I would rather elope.

[Anonymous]

Tons of people feel the same way you do. Do what makes you and your spouse happy! The important thing is the marriage, not the wedding.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s odd if you have happy family and friend relationships, it’s your first marriage, and your early 30s or younger.

If some aspect of that doesn’t apply to you, I get it.

[Anonymous]

I think women who say this think they get brownie points for "not being like other girls" or something.

Yes. You, personally, are the only woman on this earth who doesn't care about weddings.

[Anonymous]

We did a backyard wedding for about 50 friends/family. We got it catered, had tents and tables, and a bartender. Had a JP over before most people arrived with about 12 family/friends watching.

No hair stylist, no makeup artist, no bridesmaids, no groomsmen, no fancy dress, no band/DJ.

No, not odd. Do whatever makes you and future DH happy and comfortable. Do not ask anyone their opinion. Figure out what you want to do and do just that.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s odd - they’re expensive and a lot of hassle to put together. I remember wishing we’d just eloped when I was in the planning stages but then ended up totally loving the wedding.

[Anonymous]

No it's not odd. I know two people who eloped and I know 3 people who just went to the courthouse and did it. Not everyone wants a wedding.

[Anonymous]

If I hadn't had a wedding planner I definitely would have pushed to elope. It's SO many decisions over details I don't care about (who gives a crap if the tablecloths are bone or ivory?).

We basically told the wedding planner here's a list of what we do want and what we don't, and you can decide everything else. After that, we had two meetings with her (one was about food) and she otherwise handled everything. The most thought I put in was about the playlist.

[Anonymous]

We just rented a private space in a restaurant for our nearest and dearest. It was less than $5k. It doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated to do *something* to mark the occasion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s odd if you have happy family and friend relationships, it’s your first marriage, and your early 30s or younger.

If some aspect of that doesn’t apply to you, I get it.

This, except I'm not sure about the age restriction. Even older people love an excuse for a party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think women who say this think they get brownie points for "not being like other girls" or something.

Yes. You, personally, are the only woman on this earth who doesn't care about weddings.

Bizarre reaction. Do you think anyone who does things differently than you is just pretending, for “brownie points”?

There are no brownie points for eloping, just a bunch of judgmental morons 👆 who will look down on OP for not having a wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As mentioned in the title, is it odd that I don't want a wedding? The idea of even a small wedding with just family isn't appealing with the planning and booking involved in picking a city, venue, food, accommodations, dress, hair, make-up, photographer, etc. I think I would rather elope.

I congratulate you for showing the first sign of being an adult -- focus on what is important, not catering to what others wish. You begin your adulting journey on the right path!

[Anonymous]

It is not odd. I had a huge, elaborate wedding. The day - to say nothing about the lead-up to the day - was extremely exhausting, and planning and executing a wedding takes a ton of time, money, and work. (And half of the guests wish they weren’t there!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just rented a private space in a restaurant for our nearest and dearest. It was less than $5k. It doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated to do *something* to mark the occasion.

+1 I think you will regret not doing some tasteful version of the above. Spend the most money on food and a photographer. I got married in the middle of the night in Las Vegas at 26 and had a party at a relative’s later. 32 married years later and I want something different for my daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not odd. I had a huge, elaborate wedding. The day - to say nothing about the lead-up to the day - was extremely exhausting, and planning and executing a wedding takes a ton of time, money, and work. (And half of the guests wish they weren’t there!)

This is painfully accurate.