PSA: Don't write your essay about building huts in Africa!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, our private school college counselor told us decades ago in the nineties that we were not allowed to write "When I stepped off the plane in Third World Country X" essays. Or community service essays. There was a third essay on the list we weren't allowed to write either but I can't remember what it was.

One can write an essay about tying a shoelace if it is done well. And a successful college application essay can be about tying one's shoelace in a third world country or in a closet if it is done well.

Understand that high school college counselors are not the brightest bulbs in the lamp--even with respect to their own profession. Your college counselor offered "backyard fence" type gossip parading as experienced, knowledgeable insight.

Yup!

My kid wrote about their community service in various supplementals. But it was genuine, meaningful community service. Two years of being a camp counselor at camp for disabled kids for week. It genuinely did change my kid's perspective on life---they loved it. Continued to do it summers during college and is disappointed that once out of college didn't have enough vacation days to continue being a counselor. It was hard rewarding work. But really challenging for a kid who had never babysat or changed a diaper on a baby/toddler ever. Then in first 1 hour at camp were changing blowout diapers on a 10 year old and learning to laugh with the camper about it. My kid was a magnet for some of the most "difficult " behavior wise campers and had one who always wanted them and often peed on my kid multiple times per day. My kid had many stories about their growth and perspective on life from these weeks and it made for great essays.
Couple that with their sport of karate black belt and it's genuine strengths.

these are normal things for any carer of people with extreme disabilities - its not medal worthy or rare

The student wasn't asking for a medal or saying that it's rare. It was something the student did and enjoyed and by recounting the experience, was telling the admissions office something about herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, our private school college counselor told us decades ago in the nineties that we were not allowed to write "When I stepped off the plane in Third World Country X" essays. Or community service essays. There was a third essay on the list we weren't allowed to write either but I can't remember what it was.

One can write an essay about tying a shoelace if it is done well. And a successful college application essay can be about tying one's shoelace in a third world country or in a closet if it is done well.

Understand that high school college counselors are not the brightest bulbs in the lamp--even with respect to their own profession. Your college counselor offered "backyard fence" type gossip parading as experienced, knowledgeable insight.

Yup!

My kid wrote about their community service in various supplementals. But it was genuine, meaningful community service. Two years of being a camp counselor at camp for disabled kids for week. It genuinely did change my kid's perspective on life---they loved it. Continued to do it summers during college and is disappointed that once out of college didn't have enough vacation days to continue being a counselor. It was hard rewarding work. But really challenging for a kid who had never babysat or changed a diaper on a baby/toddler ever. Then in first 1 hour at camp were changing blowout diapers on a 10 year old and learning to laugh with the camper about it. My kid was a magnet for some of the most "difficult " behavior wise campers and had one who always wanted them and often peed on my kid multiple times per day. My kid had many stories about their growth and perspective on life from these weeks and it made for great essays.
Couple that with their sport of karate black belt and it's genuine strengths.

these are normal things for any carer of people with extreme disabilities - its not medal worthy or rare

Did not say it was "medal worthy" or rare. But it is a genuine volunteering experience and much more in-depth than just showing up at the food bank or the library for 2 hours each Saturday. But for my kid it was volunteering that they loved and genuinely looked forward to each summer and during the school year doing online interactions with the campers. It's a wonderful week of hell with no sleep, having to be constantly on both day and night and way more bodily fluids than most 16yo will ever experience but so rewarding for the counselors as well. My kid did it for 4 years and online for another 2 during covid. When a kid continues the volunteering even after they get into college, it is a meaningful experience for them.
And at the several Jesuit universities my kid applied to, it was definately something well received by admissions.

I'd argue this is much more genuine than a trip to African village or orphanage. No pay to play with this---the organization struggles to get counselors willing to do this for 7 days.

Said someone extremely privileged. You know what would have helped more for that orphanage, money - they could do a lot with the thousands you spend to send your kids there. Volunteering locally at a food bank is important, if not more as it shows an ongoing commitment to your community.

The problem is that each school only takes so many kids per high school. Many of the kids were probably similar but for what ever reason the school choose another child over this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like how other countries do essays.

Like SAT, students have to write an essay on the spot in a given time.
They give you the topic at the testing place.

This will give you real ideas about kids' thought processes and writing skills.

US system is totally F'ed up.

Yes, this was exactly the purpose of the SAT/ACT essay and I can’t fathom why they got rid of it. That would tell you far more about the student and their writing abilities than an essay that was written months before and edited to within an inch of its life.

The SAT essay didn't do that. It just sent colleges a writing score which they did not find useful. I agree that it would somewhat even the playing field to get rid of the common app essay and have a proctored, limited time essay which is then just sent to the colleges. Nobody needs to score it, just send that in place of the CA essay so the college see what you can do without editors and chatgpt. It still won't be "fair" since kids who can afford it will get lots of advice and practice prior to the test (in addition to superior writing instruction at school) but at least it will be the student's own work in that moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading this thread I still feel like I have no idea what they are supposed o write about or not write about. My kid spends a lot of time on a sport they are not very good at —- it was a lifeline during the covid shutdown and so they became very invested in that community. But I guess that’s terrible to write about? She does have interesting thoughts but like most teenagers, they are on pretty circumscribed topics — eg why Snapchat is bad, how HS should be different than what it is, political viewpoints, etc.

Both my kids wrote an essay about a favorite work of art/media/literature that had an impact on them and the lesson/insight they learned from it.
Both were accepted everywhere (each had a balanced list of schools) and now attend a well-ranked SLAC and a top state university.

The advice they got from their English teacher (who assigned this and helped them edit) was to "not write about the time you tore your ACL". Apparently that was the overdone topic at their (pretty sporty) HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These essays are such a joke. My BIL wrote his daughter's (he won't admit it but it's obvious) and she got into a school she had no business going to. I have to assume this happens all the time. How do you expect a 17 year old to write anything meaningful? They're all told what "good" beliefs are, and haven't had the experiences that will lead them to anything authentic. And then they're told to avoid writing about genuinely meaningful experiences because they show privilege. For all the people saying "don't write about this"--well, that's probably what their experience is. So we're asking them to lie and second guess themselves. It's just nasty, like everything else in higher ed. Burn it all down and go back to admits on quantifiable, non-cheatable ability only.

Go back to? Bless your heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agreed. The conventional wisdom on what topics to avoid changes every year. But this is a tough one to pull off without looking like a cliche. See also, "how the pandemic affected me" and "how my sport changed my life." There are ways to make these work, but the best idea is usually more personal and less expected.

So let’s take the kid in the OP - seems like he’s had a pretty secure and cozy upbringing. What was he supposed to write about?

Something meaningful in his life that he didn't "pay to play". And perhaps recognizing if he can't find that something, then maybe he's not "T20"/reach school material. Majority who do get into those schools have an extra"IT" going on---many are genuinely just "a step above with genuine work" than the majority that get denied admission

I agree. I would find it embarrassing to write about a summer program that my mom signed me up for. There was nothing remarkable about the kid. If he had started up a small non-profit to help animals or an organization that helps collect sports equipment for under funded schools that would be impressive. But he worked hard and got good grades, there are plenty of schools for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our nephew had a terrible college app season. Despite good grades, activities, and being a generally nice and well-liked kid, he was RJ or WL everywhere except one safety. We were really surprised and sorry for him. We just found out he wrote his essay about building huts in Africa on a service trip. The kid goes to a private school and had a private essay counselor. How could no one have told him what a bad essay topic this was? I'm posting in case one of your kids wants to write an essay like this - DON'T LET THEM.

In the end, our nephew came off the waitlist at a terrific, big state school that probably doesn't even read the essay, so all's well that ends well, but beware....

If he worked a part time job the whole school year to fund this trip himself because he thought it was a worthwhile cause and a good use of his hard earned money, I would 100% recommend he write about it (and how he got himself there). If not then agreed that this topic screams privilege.

[Anonymous]

My daughter wrote about her experience volunteering weekly at the children's hospital and how it made her want to become a nurse. Specifically, she wrote about an experience she had with a patient her age at the time (16) - she was tasked with spending time with the girl during her shift, who was severely disabled, and even though the patient did not talk to or interact with anyone at the hospital, DD built enough rapport that by the time the patient was discharged the two would be laughing hysterically and sharing fun experiences together. DD didn't apply to any crazy competitive schools (because those tend not to have undergrad nursing to begin with!) but did get into all 8 of the colleges she applied to - including Georgetown, UVA, Boston College, Wisconsin, and Michigan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our nephew had a terrible college app season. Despite good grades, activities, and being a generally nice and well-liked kid, he was RJ or WL everywhere except one safety. We were really surprised and sorry for him. We just found out he wrote his essay about building huts in Africa on a service trip. The kid goes to a private school and had a private essay counselor. How could no one have told him what a bad essay topic this was? I'm posting in case one of your kids wants to write an essay like this - DON'T LET THEM.

In the end, our nephew came off the waitlist at a terrific, big state school that probably doesn't even read the essay, so all's well that ends well, but beware....

If he worked a part time job the whole school year to fund this trip himself because he thought it was a worthwhile cause and a good use of his hard earned money, I would 100% recommend he write about it (and how he got himself there). If not then agreed that this topic screams privilege.

It's still not a great personal statement essay (maybe a supplemental that directly asks the question). In theory, you will list that you went to build huts in Africa and the name of the organization in your ECs. The college will have seen that and it is not a hard thing to understand...even in the 150 characters you can mention that you paid for the trip yourself from a part-time job.

If you want to write about building huts in Africa...then your personal statement should be about your fascination with hurricanes...and then you mention how hurricanes usually start off the Coast of Africa...and then you can mention how hurricanes pull moisture from Africa and cause droughts on the West coast of Africa (which may or may not be true...but just go with it)...and then you layer in that through your fascination with hurricanes you realized how much pain they cause Africans...which then led you to getting a part-time job so you could save up and send yourself to Africa to build huts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like how other countries do essays.

Like SAT, students have to write an essay on the spot in a given time.
They give you the topic at the testing place.

This will give you real ideas about kids' thought processes and writing skills.

US system is totally F'ed up.

C’mon. Any reasonable person would pre-prepare and memorize essays for various likely prompts.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe admissions officers do more than glance through these essays. His many 17 year olds have anything interesting to say? Those that do have probably had them ghost written.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he literally had nothing better to write about and as such, the "everywhere" schools he applied to saw through it?

+1

Or maybe he applied to only Reach schools and no real targets and only the one safety
I've heard way too many say "I got into only 1 school" and then look at their list of 15 schools, all with less than 20% acceptance rates. And you have to wonder how smart they really are.

Sorry, I wonder how smart you really are. They were applying to 15 schools and were presumably satisfied with either of those 15. They got into one from their list. How is this not a good outcome?

The only ways your logic would work are if you believe that a) being admitted to more than one school is somehow a better outcome even if those additional schools are less attractive to you or b) adding more lower ranked schools to your list somehow increases your chances of being admitted to a higher ranked school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

They're not going to notice anything that's not a URM "overcoming tremendous obstacles" essay.

Name a Top 40 school that's 60% URM? Despite all the hand wringing and racists comments on this board, these schools continue to be overwhelmingly white and wealthy. Of course kids of all races face obstacles and when I hear their stories, I'm far more impressed by their success than the pampered, uber prepped kids claiming they were "shut out" and that someone undeserving "took their spot."

The top schools are not 60% URM because URMs are not 60% of the applicants or enrollees by academic merit.

URMs are undoubtedly overrepresented in terms of their academic merit. But the top schools have decided that being an URM is a form of merit.

Idiotic post. They are URMs because they are underrepresented in these top schools. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, our private school college counselor told us decades ago in the nineties that we were not allowed to write "When I stepped off the plane in Third World Country X" essays. Or community service essays. There was a third essay on the list we weren't allowed to write either but I can't remember what it was.

One can write an essay about tying a shoelace if it is done well. And a successful college application essay can be about tying one's shoelace in a third world country or in a closet if it is done well.

Understand that high school college counselors are not the brightest bulbs in the lamp--even with respect to their own profession. Your college counselor offered "backyard fence" type gossip parading as experienced, knowledgeable insight.

This. My son wrote an essay about trying to offload some books that ended up on his hands. How and why it happened that these books don't have their readers anymore, and what are the broader societal implications.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whelp, since my teenager has to work as a lifeguard and camp counselor in order to have spending money for the year, I don't think he'll be writing about trips overseas of any kind, service or otherwise.

I was a lifeguard in high school and wrote my college essay on how I loved it because I could fry my brain in the summer sun and relax from the drudgery of school. Of course I wrote it much more eloquently than that but that was the gist. This was 20+ years ago but got into an HYPS. Maybe it was a novelty topic to the admissions readers. It was genuinely heartfelt!