PSA: Don't write your essay about building huts in Africa!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the sports essays typically weak because they’re usually inherently provincial. Though not always. How does your sports essay show commitment and exposure beyond your own community? How does it show the impact you’ll make on the greater world?

Isn’t the point of the essay to be “why I’m going to be a good college student”? So I feel like a sports essay is fine — it could showcase dedication or time management skills or learning to get on with people you’re otherwise different than through shared interest or frankly travel for a kid who doesn’t have other opportunities to travel.

But that’s fairly basic and not enough for highly selective schools. Probably great for the vast majority of colleges though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like how other countries do essays.

Like SAT, students have to write an essay on the spot in a given time.
They give you the topic at the testing place.

This will give you real ideas about kids' thought processes and writing skills.

US system is totally F'ed up.

Yes, this was exactly the purpose of the SAT/ACT essay and I can’t fathom why they got rid of it. That would tell you far more about the student and their writing abilities than an essay that was written months before and edited to within an inch of its life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, our private school college counselor told us decades ago in the nineties that we were not allowed to write "When I stepped off the plane in Third World Country X" essays. Or community service essays. There was a third essay on the list we weren't allowed to write either but I can't remember what it was.

One can write an essay about tying a shoelace if it is done well. And a successful college application essay can be about tying one's shoelace in a third world country or in a closet if it is done well.

Understand that high school college counselors are not the brightest bulbs in the lamp--even with respect to their own profession. Your college counselor offered "backyard fence" type gossip parading as experienced, knowledgeable insight.

Yup!

My kid wrote about their community service in various supplementals. But it was genuine, meaningful community service. Two years of being a camp counselor at camp for disabled kids for week. It genuinely did change my kid's perspective on life---they loved it. Continued to do it summers during college and is disappointed that once out of college didn't have enough vacation days to continue being a counselor. It was hard rewarding work. But really challenging for a kid who had never babysat or changed a diaper on a baby/toddler ever. Then in first 1 hour at camp were changing blowout diapers on a 10 year old and learning to laugh with the camper about it. My kid was a magnet for some of the most "difficult " behavior wise campers and had one who always wanted them and often peed on my kid multiple times per day. My kid had many stories about their growth and perspective on life from these weeks and it made for great essays.
Couple that with their sport of karate black belt and it's genuine strengths.

these are normal things for any carer of people with extreme disabilities - its not medal worthy or rare

Did not say it was "medal worthy" or rare. But it is a genuine volunteering experience and much more in-depth than just showing up at the food bank or the library for 2 hours each Saturday. But for my kid it was volunteering that they loved and genuinely looked forward to each summer and during the school year doing online interactions with the campers. It's a wonderful week of hell with no sleep, having to be constantly on both day and night and way more bodily fluids than most 16yo will ever experience but so rewarding for the counselors as well. My kid did it for 4 years and online for another 2 during covid. When a kid continues the volunteering even after they get into college, it is a meaningful experience for them.
And at the several Jesuit universities my kid applied to, it was definately something well received by admissions.

I'd argue this is much more genuine than a trip to African village or orphanage. No pay to play with this---the organization struggles to get counselors willing to do this for 7 days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, our private school college counselor told us decades ago in the nineties that we were not allowed to write "When I stepped off the plane in Third World Country X" essays. Or community service essays. There was a third essay on the list we weren't allowed to write either but I can't remember what it was.

One can write an essay about tying a shoelace if it is done well. And a successful college application essay can be about tying one's shoelace in a third world country or in a closet if it is done well.

Understand that high school college counselors are not the brightest bulbs in the lamp--even with respect to their own profession. Your college counselor offered "backyard fence" type gossip parading as experienced, knowledgeable insight.

Yup!

My kid wrote about their community service in various supplementals. But it was genuine, meaningful community service. Two years of being a camp counselor at camp for disabled kids for week. It genuinely did change my kid's perspective on life---they loved it. Continued to do it summers during college and is disappointed that once out of college didn't have enough vacation days to continue being a counselor. It was hard rewarding work. But really challenging for a kid who had never babysat or changed a diaper on a baby/toddler ever. Then in first 1 hour at camp were changing blowout diapers on a 10 year old and learning to laugh with the camper about it. My kid was a magnet for some of the most "difficult " behavior wise campers and had one who always wanted them and often peed on my kid multiple times per day. My kid had many stories about their growth and perspective on life from these weeks and it made for great essays.
Couple that with their sport of karate black belt and it's genuine strengths.

these are normal things for any carer of people with extreme disabilities - its not medal worthy or rare

Did not say it was "medal worthy" or rare. But it is a genuine volunteering experience and much more in-depth than just showing up at the food bank or the library for 2 hours each Saturday. But for my kid it was volunteering that they loved and genuinely looked forward to each summer and during the school year doing online interactions with the campers. It's a wonderful week of hell with no sleep, having to be constantly on both day and night and way more bodily fluids than most 16yo will ever experience but so rewarding for the counselors as well. My kid did it for 4 years and online for another 2 during covid. When a kid continues the volunteering even after they get into college, it is a meaningful experience for them.
And at the several Jesuit universities my kid applied to, it was definately something well received by admissions.

I'd argue this is much more genuine than a trip to African village or orphanage. No pay to play with this---the organization struggles to get counselors willing to do this for 7 days.

I’m an anti sports and hut building essay person but think this is good. Not many people are willing to do this work. And it’s tough.

[Anonymous]

Knowledgeable college counselors have been warning kids away from writing essays that make them sound privileged for at least 20 years. Whoever was working with your nephew should have known better, unless there was something outstandingly different about his experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like how other countries do essays.

Like SAT, students have to write an essay on the spot in a given time.
They give you the topic at the testing place.

This will give you real ideas about kids' thought processes and writing skills.

US system is totally F'ed up.

Yes, this was exactly the purpose of the SAT/ACT essay and I can’t fathom why they got rid of it. That would tell you far more about the student and their writing abilities than an essay that was written months before and edited to within an inch of its life.

Glad the SAT/ACT essay was removed. Pretty useless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find the sports essays typically weak because they’re usually inherently provincial. Though not always. How does your sports essay show commitment and exposure beyond your own community? How does it show the impact you’ll make on the greater world?

You mean to say that every kid admitted to every decent school, say T50 addresses these points? No way! DS1 (at a T20) wrote about assembling furniture with me and what it taught him in terms of curiosity, perseverance, etc. Nothing earth shattering. Maybe if he had addressed those two points, he might have gotten into a T10!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Ugh, that's depressing. My child's sport changed her life, too, and I think it's unfair to say this is not a good topic. I'm sure your son would have been a great addition to any of these schools ... they're just so tough. Is he happy where he ended up?

Not everyone can afford polo, golf, or tennis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the sports essays typically weak because they’re usually inherently provincial. Though not always. How does your sports essay show commitment and exposure beyond your own community? How does it show the impact you’ll make on the greater world?

You mean to say that every kid admitted to every decent school, say T50 addresses these points? No way! DS1 (at a T20) wrote about assembling furniture with me and what it taught him in terms of curiosity, perseverance, etc. Nothing earth shattering. Maybe if he had addressed those two points, he might have gotten into a T10!

No. And that essay sounds humble - not some kid bragging about their leadership skills they obtained playing prep school lacrosse or on their private pool’s club team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

"how my sport changed my life."

My high stats (3.98 GPA/4.53 wGPA/35 ACT, full IB) class of 22 wrote an essay like this (and his sport really did change his life), which I thought was pretty good, and he did not get into most of the selective schools he applied to (Yale, Harvard, Williams (legacy, but didn't apply ED), Amherst, Duke, UVa, MIT). Obviously not getting in to any of those could just be luck of the draw, but I wonder if his essay ended up hurting him.

Ugh, that's depressing. My child's sport changed her life, too, and I think it's unfair to say this is not a good topic. I'm sure your son would have been a great addition to any of these schools ... they're just so tough. Is he happy where he ended up?

It’s a terrible topic. Not because it’s about sports, but because it’s a trope. As is the white savior complex bit of building huts in Africa — so incredibly tone deaf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like how other countries do essays.

Like SAT, students have to write an essay on the spot in a given time.
They give you the topic at the testing place.

This will give you real ideas about kids' thought processes and writing skills.

US system is totally F'ed up.

Yes, this was exactly the purpose of the SAT/ACT essay and I can’t fathom why they got rid of it. That would tell you far more about the student and their writing abilities than an essay that was written months before and edited to within an inch of its life.

Glad the SAT/ACT essay was removed. Pretty useless. [/quote

Why do you think that? I would LOVE to know how some of these little geniuses write without someone holding their hands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

They're not going to notice anything that's not a URM "overcoming tremendous obstacles" essay.

Name a Top 40 school that's 60% URM? Despite all the hand wringing and racists comments on this board, these schools continue to be overwhelmingly white and wealthy. Of course kids of all races face obstacles and when I hear their stories, I'm far more impressed by their success than the pampered, uber prepped kids claiming they were "shut out" and that someone undeserving "took their spot."

The top schools are not 60% URM because URMs are not 60% of the applicants or enrollees by academic merit.

URMs are undoubtedly overrepresented in terms of their academic merit. But the top schools have decided that being an URM is a form of merit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find the sports essays typically weak because they’re usually inherently provincial. Though not always. How does your sports essay show commitment and exposure beyond your own community? How does it show the impact you’ll make on the greater world?

How many sports essays have you read?

Why is it even necessary to pretend that your sport will make an impact "beyond your own community" or "on the greater world"? You're being recruited to make an impact on your college's team, not on the community or the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the sports essays typically weak because they’re usually inherently provincial. Though not always. How does your sports essay show commitment and exposure beyond your own community? How does it show the impact you’ll make on the greater world?

How many sports essays have you read?

Why is it even necessary to pretend that your sport will make an impact "beyond your own community" or "on the greater world"? You're being recruited to make an impact on your college's team, not on the community or the world.

I didn’t realize we were discussing recruits? That would be a small percentage of the kids writing sports essays. Most won’t play in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the sports essays typically weak because they’re usually inherently provincial. Though not always. How does your sports essay show commitment and exposure beyond your own community? How does it show the impact you’ll make on the greater world?

Isn’t the point of the essay to be “why I’m going to be a good college student”?

What a pointless essay that would be. Your high school transcript and test scores will show why you're going to be a good college student far more convincingly than some short essay.