Single mom IVF- Fair to future child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single parenting by choice was the biggest mistake I ever made. I should have married the guy that was madly in love with me. My child would have turned out better.

Why didn’t you?

Had plenty of my own income and was a misguided feminist back then. But eventually you wake up to realize your kid needs an actual man in the house.

A kid needs a loving involved father. My father was in the house and made life miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:your friend should discuss this with a single moms by choice group. You should MYOB.

She should discuss the issue with a donor-conceived persons group if her concern is fairness to the child.

OP, your friend should be aware that there are very active DCP groups and that they are gnerally not supportive of what your friend is contemplating.

Just like no one would ever drink if they went to an AA meeting. These groups attract the outliers the ill adjusted the people who have other issues and traumas that they have decided to blame on their conception
Not exactly a balanced or unbalanced source

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single parenting by choice was the biggest mistake I ever made. I should have married the guy that was madly in love with me. My child would have turned out better.

Why didn’t you?

Had plenty of my own income and was a misguided feminist back then. But eventually you wake up to realize your kid needs an actual man in the house.

I'm confused. You decided not to settle on a guy and wish you had? If you had selected that path, you could be a divorced single mom now. Maybe the kid would have been better off, or maybe all of you would have ended up deeply traumatized by the divorce and custody battle.

Pp that you're responding to is not an actual SMBC this poster is an incels using classic talking points

[Anonymous]

When i adopted my son as an SMC my parents and I became much closer. They constantly tell me that their grandchild is the thing that happened to them.

[Anonymous]

As a married mother of two, I can’t imagine missing out on the experience of being a mother just because I didn’t happen to meet a guy. Of course it’s hard, and I’m sure even harder to do on your own, but it’s also the most satisfying and beautiful part of my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When i adopted my son as an SMC my parents and I became much closer. They constantly tell me that their grandchild is the thing that happened to them.

*best* thing

[Anonymous]

If I ever had another child, it would be alone through IVF.
-a single mom of 2 who is co-parenting.

[Anonymous]

Kids raised in single mother homes are at a serious disadvantage and are 5 times more likely to drop out of school, be incarcerated, commit suicide, become a teen parent, become homeless, etc. I think having a child knowing full well you plan to be a single mother is selfish. A child, especially, a boy needs a father in their life. Only a man can raise a boy into a man.

[Anonymous]

This is none of your business.

[Anonymous]

I will never understand those who say being a SMBC is selfish. I have not slept in since becoming a single mom. I am on duty all the time when my child is with me. I have taken care of my child even when I had food poisoning, etc. I have not applied for jobs that would advance my career because they involve travel, long hours, etc. Being a single mom, whether by choice or not, is really hard. That being said, my son is a great kid who has so many friends and people who care about him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s not your business. Personally if I were in that position I’d adopt over using a donor embryo (since either way the child is not genetically related to the mother), but it’s not my business either. Just keep your mouth shut unless you can offer support.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When i adopted my son as an SMC my parents and I became much closer. They constantly tell me that their grandchild is the thing that happened to them.

I've seen this work well with SM that have a strong support network and family for their child to be part of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand those who say being a SMBC is selfish. I have not slept in since becoming a single mom. I am on duty all the time when my child is with me. I have taken care of my child even when I had food poisoning, etc. I have not applied for jobs that would advance my career because they involve travel, long hours, etc. Being a single mom, whether by choice or not, is really hard. That being said, my son is a great kid who has so many friends and people who care about him.

They say this because statistics show kids raised by a single mother are at a clear disadvantage. They are 5x more likely to use drugs or alcohol, drop out of school, commit suicide, be incarcerated, become homeless, etc.

I don’t know why anyone would want to set their child up to be so disadvantaged. Plus, women can’t raise a boy into a man. Only man can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When i adopted my son as an SMC my parents and I became much closer. They constantly tell me that their grandchild is the thing that happened to them.

I've seen this work well with SM that have a strong support network and family for their child to be part of.

This. If you have really strong reliable and stable support from family, then go for it. I did not and am now glad we decided not to do IVF, even though I am married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And poor people having children.

They don't think about the unfairness to the children.

It seems in poor countries people prefer to have more children, helping hands and safety net for old age.

Or they simply don't have access to birth control or women have no say on whether to have sex or use protection. Don't be so naive!