Are we coddling children too much?

[Anonymous]

Who is this “we”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't agree with unnecessary tough love of making kids do menial chores, take retail jobs and carry student loans unless your resources require it.

If you can make life easier and take away some hurdles, its not going to make them deadbeat criminals, nor would chores, retail and loan would make them super successful.

My parents did it for me and I did it for my kids. I hope they'll do it for their children because it works.

My 13 yo is currently out on our zero turn mowing horse fields. His work ethic is phenomenal. He also has a high end gaming system, that he paid for and built himself with money earned doing things like mowing and power washing.

He is extremely intelligent, but working on our farm has taught him how to also be practical, efficient, and a problem solver.

My parents did that for me, and I am doing this for him because it works.

I'm all for kids doing chores and having jobs, but that's not a safe thing for a child that age. The AAP suggests kids wait till their 16, and 13 isn't even close.

Child labor laws exist to protect children from people like you.

PP here. You are hilarious.

Just so you know (I doubt you have ever been on one), a decent riding mower has a mechanism that kills the engine and blades if your butt is unseated from the seat.

He has been driving our (very slow) RTV dragging the riding arena for $1/day since he was 10. He was an excellent driver before I let him on the mower. No hills. What do you think is going to happen to him?

I don’t let him mow with the tractor and bush hog because it has a PTO drive. THAT is dangerous. Anything with a PTO is risky and is not done without supervision.

I bet he will be far safer on the roads in a car at 16 than your kid, no matter how much you spend on Driver’s Ed. I’ve been driving since I was 10 as well and never had a car accident.

Also, family farm work is exempted from child labor laws.

[Anonymous]

I carry my kid’s backpack to school because we are usually late and no backpack helps her walk a little faster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The bags are way too heavy and will lead to back problems. The US doesn’t care about health enough. Carrying a back pack that is too heavy isn’t coddling. Driving your kid to school is.

This is something that occurred to me in the thread about strollers for 5 yr olds.

The people complaining that "5 yr olds are too old for a stroller" or "we're coddling kids by carrying their backpacks" are the same people who drive their kids everywhere. Of course they don't carry their kids' backpacks, their kids aren't carrying them either except for the distance from the drop-off lane to their classroom. And the mom who sometimes lets her 5 yr old ride in a stroller on the way home from the grocery store is getting flack from people who don't walk to the grocery store in the first place and therefore don't actually have any concept of whether it's reasonable to expect a 5 yr old to walk the mile or so there and back after her dance class.

Maybe we aren't coddling children too much. Maybe we are coddling adults too much by letting them drive around in their SUVs everywhere, judging everyone they see through their tinted windows.

****CHEERS*****

We live 0.5 miles from my sons elementary school. He has to cross a very busy two-lane road with an intersection where cars regularly speed and I- a grown adult- refuse to walk across unless there are no cars because multiple times I have been in the crosswalk and someone tries to turn or a car stops to let me walk across and another car honks and tries to go around them and then 3 additional side streets.

No crossing guards at any of these intersections. I will absolutely walk him. I will absolutely carry his backpack, which is likely 1/3 or more of his weight until it becomes less than 10% of his weight as suggested by physicians. He still gets ready in the morning by himself, puts his shoes away, empties his backpack in the afternoon, puts his dishes away, and cleans up his toys every night.

My job is safety. If safety is coddling then so be it.

[Anonymous]

I feel like we as a society are coddling less but assuming that we are coddling more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. And we’ll reap the consequences.

Do you mean consequences as in, a good way?

The world is so screwed up to the point where parents and home is the only place they are safe. That’s where we are going to see consequences.

Aw this was actually kind of sweet. I feel less bad for spoiling our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. And we’ll reap the consequences.

[phone]

Wait for it...

[Anonymous]

We walk 0.8 miles to school. My 6 year old often has a tough time in the morning and can barely tolerate his shoes on his feet. I carry his bag often. I told him about 6 weeks ago that in 1st grade, he will need to carry his own backpack to school because that's what 1st graders do. He bought it and has been doing a great job.

My 3rd grader gets helps when he needs it. He carries it to school 100% of the time, and on the way home I help who needs it. Often my 3rd grader will carry his brother's bag while I carry the heaviest one. It all depends on the moods.

So yes, I do try to shift this on to them with some reasonable accommodations Little kids sometimes need help, it's not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As I drove from the burbs into DC this morning, I noticed a 50/50 split of parents who carry their kid’s backpack vs those who do not.

Note: these were school-aged kids, not toddlers or preschoolers, and the bags weren’t excessively large.

Do you carry your kid’s backpack? Why?

Are we coddling kids too much?

THIS TELLS US EVERYTHING.

How about you slow down, give right away to pedestrians and otherwise worry about your own impact on the community. that will help children much more than shaming parents for carrying backpacks WHILE YOU ARE DRIVING.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As I drove from the burbs into DC this morning, I noticed a 50/50 split of parents who carry their kid’s backpack vs those who do not.

Note: these were school-aged kids, not toddlers or preschoolers, and the bags weren’t excessively large.

Do you carry your kid’s backpack? Why?

Are we coddling kids too much?

THIS TELLS US EVERYTHING.

How about you slow down, give right away to pedestrians and otherwise worry about your own impact on the community. that will help children much more than shaming parents for carrying backpacks WHILE YOU ARE DRIVING.

Ha! Good point. OP was coddling by driving her kids in, more than anyone walking with their kids, backpack or not.