Are we coddling children too much?

[Anonymous]

My rule is to never carry backpacks. It has served me well.

When DD was 4, she accepted her fate as a backpack carrier when I told her it was training for Disney World. After much training, we finally got to Disney, and that 4-year old walked 8-9 miles a day with a backpack.

[Anonymous]

The backpacks weigh as much as the DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously, if your kids can't even tie their own shoes at 10, still wear diapers (excluding SN) and have no chores or responsibilities. College aged kids don't even know how to cook or do laundry. It's a huge problem.

I had never cooked or done laundry or made a bed before I went to college. That’s not new. Easy to learn these quickly enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a 15 minute walk and my third grader carries a laptop (mandated by the school) and several textbooks. Also a lunch box and two water bottles. So yes, I sometimes carry the bag for him. It's heavy.

FCPS? Yes, same here except the walk is 20 mins. The bag weighs 23 pounds. I’d like to see OP carry over 1/3 of her weight for 40 mins every day.

And yet so many of us managed to do just that, walking through our friends to and from school every damn day. I guarantee our pile of textbooks weighed more than your kid’s Chromebook.

Oh, and we don’t have “spinal problems” either.

Nope. I brought home maybe a few books per night in my day. You could buy one of those big rubber bands to put around them. We didn’t have huge metal water bottles either. My doctor advises against carrying this amount of weight but I guess you know better, boomer.

Please learn the difference between books and textbooks. You most assuredly could not “rubber band” textbooks together.

Oh, and not even close to a Boomer. You lose on all counts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s more of a hustle thing op. As in, kid is slowly putting shoes on parent is outside the door has grabbed backpack and is setting the pace.

The real question is should a parent be walking with the kids at all. Allowing more independence is more important than not coddling from what I’ve seen. Builds tremendous confidence in kids.

When people stop driving like jackasses down the major arterial my kid has to cross to get to school, I'll stop walking with her.

[Anonymous]

My 1st grader sometimes carries her backpack and sometimes I do. It’s just what either of us feels like that day or who grabs it first. Often the other holds the lunchbox. We walk about half a mile to school. There is rarely a discussion about it because it’s not a big deal. Feels like so much over thinking / over extrapolation happening on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As I drove from the burbs into DC this morning, I noticed a 50/50 split of parents who carry their kid’s backpack vs those who do not.

Note: these were school-aged kids, not toddlers or preschoolers, and the bags weren’t excessively large.

Do you carry your kid’s backpack? Why?

Are we coddling kids too much?

If not you than who else is going to coddle them? Backpacks are heavy, carry them and let kid relax after full day of dealing with structured work and uncaring people.

[Anonymous]

I think we are coddling in so many ways but the backpack thing isn't one of them. A backpack should only be about 10% of your weight. So my forty pound kid is supposed to have a four pound backpack and that Includes his lunch and his books and supplies and water. Not possible.

[Anonymous]

I guess I think it's worse to drive your kid when they can walk or take the bus - than it is to walk and carry their book bag - but I understand that this doesn't really answer the question and maybe I shouldn't carry the backpack either.

FWIW I do think the computers they have to carry back and forth now are heavy. I would be fine with no screens in school but no one asked me.

[Anonymous]

I think the backpack example is a poor one but I do worry about coddling too much.. I have a niece, nephew and family friend who grew up in houses where they had parents who really coddled them.. cut to all of them dropping out of college with severe anxiety because they can't handle living on their own.

[Anonymous]

I don't agree with unnecessary tough love of making kids do menial chores, take retail jobs and carry student loans unless your resources require it.

If you can make life easier and take away some hurdles, its not going to make them deadbeat criminals, nor would chores, retail and loan would make them super successful.

My parents did it for me and I did it for my kids. I hope they'll do it for their children because it works.

[Anonymous]

Seriously-carrying a backpack? Are you this bored?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't agree with unnecessary tough love of making kids do menial chores, take retail jobs and carry student loans unless your resources require it.

If you can make life easier and take away some hurdles, its not going to make them deadbeat criminals, nor would chores, retail and loan would make them super successful.

My parents did it for me and I did it for my kids. I hope they'll do it for their children because it works.

I think you're conflating different things there:

- Doing menial chores is an essential part of learning to be an adult. It's gross to let a kid go out into the world having never washed a bathroom or cleaned a kitchen.

- Take retail jobs - I agree with this one. Holding a job is again part of learning to be an adult, but it doesn't have to be retail. Babysitting is much more profitable, or they can find something closer to their career or academic interests.

- Take out loans - agreed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As I drove from the burbs into DC this morning, I noticed a 50/50 split of parents who carry their kid’s backpack vs those who do not.

Note: these were school-aged kids, not toddlers or preschoolers, and the bags weren’t excessively large.

Do you carry your kid’s backpack? Why?

Are we coddling kids too much?

YES!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't agree with unnecessary tough love of making kids do menial chores, take retail jobs and carry student loans unless your resources require it.

If you can make life easier and take away some hurdles, its not going to make them deadbeat criminals, nor would chores, retail and loan would make them super successful.

My parents did it for me and I did it for my kids. I hope they'll do it for their children because it works.

My 13 yo is currently out on our zero turn mowing horse fields. His work ethic is phenomenal. He also has a high end gaming system, that he paid for and built himself with money earned doing things like mowing and power washing.

He is extremely intelligent, but working on our farm has taught him how to also be practical, efficient, and a problem solver.

My parents did that for me, and I am doing this for him because it works.