DH wants to quit job to join startup

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5mm liquid, 1mm of equity in the house? Let him start his company

They don't have 5m liquid--it's 5 m net worth which includes college funds for 3 kids and retirement accounts.

Plus a million equity in their house. They’re rich.

No---they should have $3M in retirement. And $1-1.3M will be needed for college. They also need extra for the therapies for their oldest---insurance typically does not cover all that is needed, and even if it does you have deductibles and copays. They do not have "spending money" to just live without much of an income. Especially since they are likely used to living on $400-500K. Health insurance alone will cost them $30K/year for an adequate plan.

House means nothing unless they are prepared to sell it and downsize, but not likely with 3 kids still living at home---not sure "let's live in a 2 bedroom or 3 bedroom house" will go over with teens who are used to having their own rooms, not to mention one with behavioral issues already.

What are you talking about? She says they have over 4 million dollars invested in the stock market (this is what I assume “liquid” means). So they do have 3 million for retirement - in fact, they have a million more than the figure you mention. Plus the million in their house. Plus the money for college.

I don’t know where you’re getting the idea that “therapies” are needed for mild special needs. Could be something as basic and common as adhd.

She stated it requires two parents to manage. That is more than typical ADHD. However, even for ADHD, I'm a huge proponent of therapies to help kids manage it----I would never just medicate without therapy as well. And many kids with ADHD could benefit from therapy and/or tutoring/exec functioning coaching. The more help you get your kids at a younger age, the better off they will be with dealing with these issues (I know because I have lived it).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 61 and work at a super cool start up. I am leaving soon to go back to a boring job.

I was there 2 years two months and I do have $100k in vested pre-IPO stock I can’t sell till IPO. I am walking away 100k unvested stock.

People think it is cool but a hot mess for low pay with chance of very high layoff

However, the payoff only comes for a very small percentage and often times it's years before that happens. Extremely nice when it does but often times it is years of low pay and very long hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's earned the right to do what he thinks he wants to do

Ummm...No. When you have a family with kids, your first responsibility is to your family. You need to have a plan in place for that. If they can live on $150K/year for 6 months and be happy, then maybe he can switch. But once you have a family, you don't just get to make decisions just because---you must look at the bigger picture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's earned the right to do what he thinks he wants to do

Ummm...No. When you have a family with kids, your first responsibility is to your family. You need to have a plan in place for that. If they can live on $150K/year for 6 months and be happy, then maybe he can switch. But once you have a family, you don't just get to make decisions just because---you must look at the bigger picture.

They are sitting on $5m of LIQUID assets...are people missing this?? If my partner told me I couldn't pursue an exciting career opportunity because I "only" had $5m in the bank I would laugh at him.

However, I am sympathetic to the concerns the OP has about managing family life and their special-needs child. I think that is the direction the conversation needs to go in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. A net worth of 6M total (including the college accounts and home equity) is atrocious for early 40s?

DH doesn’t make 800k every year. Some years it is 500k.

No it is not atrocious. How ridiculous! On one thread on this board, you have people talking about how 70% of millennials live paycheck-to-paycheck and presumably have NO savings. Then on this thread, you have people telling the OP she is poor and has “atrocious” saving habits when she and her husband are sitting on 6 million in their early 40s. And the market is down, so if it ever goes back up, they’ll probably have 20% more.

Make it make sense.

The answer is that there is no amount of money that is "enough saved" for DCUM.

I know! WTF. If a guy who has $5m sitting in the bank can't take a chance on a startup job, who can? Does he need to have $10m saved up? $15m? This whole thread is insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. A net worth of 6M total (including the college accounts and home equity) is atrocious for early 40s?

DH doesn’t make 800k every year. Some years it is 500k.

No it is not atrocious. How ridiculous! On one thread on this board, you have people talking about how 70% of millennials live paycheck-to-paycheck and presumably have NO savings. Then on this thread, you have people telling the OP she is poor and has “atrocious” saving habits when she and her husband are sitting on 6 million in their early 40s. And the market is down, so if it ever goes back up, they’ll probably have 20% more.

Make it make sense.

The answer is that there is no amount of money that is "enough saved" for DCUM.

I know! WTF. If a guy who has $5m sitting in the bank can't take a chance on a startup job, who can? Does he need to have $10m saved up? $15m? This whole thread is insane.

Someone who is not currently responsible for children including one with special needs. Money isn't the only issue. But I think OP and DH need to just have a talk where they figure out all the issues--financial, time, insurance, etc and find a plan that works if this is what DH really wants to do. OP can't insist on her way but DH doesn't get to make all the decisions because he earned the money unless he's willing to do with threat of divorce, child support etc. They are a family unit with each an equal say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's earned the right to do what he thinks he wants to do

Ummm...No. When you have a family with kids, your first responsibility is to your family. You need to have a plan in place for that. If they can live on $150K/year for 6 months and be happy, then maybe he can switch. But once you have a family, you don't just get to make decisions just because---you must look at the bigger picture.

They are sitting on $5m of LIQUID assets...are people missing this?? If my partner told me I couldn't pursue an exciting career opportunity because I "only" had $5m in the bank I would laugh at him.

However, I am sympathetic to the concerns the OP has about managing family life and their special-needs child. I think that is the direction the conversation needs to go in.

They need to have an honest fair discussion about the future and budget. $1-1.3m is for college. The rest is likely retirement. So setting aside $2m for retirement they have ~$2 M to live off of. What will his salary be with the startup? Will he have insurance? Or do they need to budget 30k+ for medical? That $2m won’t go very far if they are spending 400k each year to live can they still afford the activities the ms/HS kids ware used to? That is likely costing 20-30k for 3 kids. They just need to have a talk. How easy would it be for him to return to his previous job or one like it if he decides the startup is not his thing? Because the $2 M to live off of is not much with 5 people who are used to spending 400k + per year.

[Anonymous]

He's earned the right

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. A net worth of 6M total (including the college accounts and home equity) is atrocious for early 40s?

DH doesn’t make 800k every year. Some years it is 500k.

It means you are spending a ton. We are early 40’s with 3.5M and a much lower income. Lately in the mid 300’s but until the last few years mid-upper 200’s, with student loan debt too.

So it tells me you are not frugal - you will need to dial the spending way down or you will burn through savings rapidly.

how many kids do you have?

do you live in a shack?

[Anonymous]

Sell $80,000 of the stocks and hire someone to help the mother manage the special needs child.

Ya'll have 5 million in stocks. Use some of the stocks to make the mother's life easier.

Let the guy do the kind of work that he wants to do. Sheesh....he has earned 5 million in stocks.

Work is not work if you enjoy your job and what you do every day.

[Anonymous]

Your husband makes between $800,000 and $500,000 per year? Let the guy do the type of work that he wants to.

Do you understand that most families in American get by on two workers and family income of $60,000 - $80,000 per year.

[Anonymous]

Some other posters have suggested this, tell DH to do both jobs to see if the startup is legit. The odds are stacked against the startup succeeding. Would DH be able to re-enter the job market at this high level? Are you and DH willing to draw back on your spending and budget at home? I also agree to the suggestion of having a well rounded discussion on the pros and cons of leaving current job for startup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband makes between $800,000 and $500,000 per year? Let the guy do the type of work that he wants to.

Do you understand that most families in American get by on two workers and family income of $60,000 - $80,000 per year.

But I doubt they want (or can even easily do so) to live on only $60K. They likely have become accustomed to living off of $400K+. So they need a plan in place to live on the new lifestyle choices---because $2-3M is not going to go very far with 5 people and sending $400K/year. If they blow thru it all now, he will be working until he's 70 to rebuild retirement savings.

Whereas people only making $60K are likely living on only 60K. Very different scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some other posters have suggested this, tell DH to do both jobs to see if the startup is legit. The odds are stacked against the startup succeeding. Would DH be able to re-enter the job market at this high level? Are you and DH willing to draw back on your spending and budget at home? I also agree to the suggestion of having a well rounded discussion on the pros and cons of leaving current job for startup.

+1

Just because he has "earned 500-800K per year" does not entitle him to just switch jobs. There needs to be a discussion about why, what will he get from the startup in terms of pay/compensation/benefits, how will they adjust their lifestyle to live off of this plus some savings if needed, because they cannot afford to take $400K out of savings each year to continue living their current lifestyle. That would not be a smart move. Fact is most startups do NOT take off. Majority of people do NOT get rich off an IPO/startup venture. Most move onto another job in a few years, often back to "the real world where they have a steady paycheck and good benefits". They are not 40 and childless. They have 3 kids and the choices must be made to consider all aspects of the family. You choose to have kids, sometimes you have to make choices that benefit the entire family/kids more than it benefits the individual.

[Anonymous]

What does this startup do?