Mimosas at Birthday Party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I would appreciate mimosas at a kid's party! Some people are judgmental about alcohol being anywhere in the vicinity of kids though.

I think it's more judgement about serving alcohol to people who you know are driving away from your home with children in their car.

oh bull. you tryiing to tell me these people don't have a beer when they go out to dinner and then ... DRIVE HOME!

I think the differences are a couple:

At an all-class birthday party you don't know the drinking habits of the adults. Someone previously said I assume all adults drink responsibly and don't drive drunk. Why would you ever assume that? Um, clearly people drive impaired all the time. So no, I wouldn't feel comfortable serving booze over a multi-hour party to adults I don't even know and then having them drive home with their kids.

If people drink at dinner and then drive home, that is fully their choice. In this scenario, you are serving them the alcohol. No you wouldn't be held liable in most states if anything happened, but it's not great either.

I didn’t say I assume all adults drink responsibly and don’t drive drunk. I said if you’re at MY home, I expect you to drink responsibly no matter who is present.

Is this conveyed to everyone coming in? How does that go? At al all-class birthday party for 5 year olds do they sign something at the door?

If you read my post, I said I wouldn’t serve alcohol at an all-class party. And no, I don’t lecture my guests when they arrive. They are free to grab a beer or glass of wine (or more likely we are serving them). If someone seemed impaired, I would pull them aside if they had driven if they didn’t have a spouse to drive them home. But this hasn’t happened in my home. Does this happen to you? I’m curious about this line of questioning. I’ve never been lectured at someone’s home.

Your tone here indicates you'd be great at lecturing people though.

Maybe? But you’re the one who doesn’t trust adults to self-monitor their drinking.

Why are you continuing to act like all adults self-monitor their drinking well??? There are threads on DCUM constantly about people's drinking habits. It's an issue for people. Some people do not in fact monitor their drinking well. Just because you're friends with them and know them does not preclude them from this fate. That's nice that you think no one would do this in your home or if they did you would notice and say something to them as if you are in an after school special. Real life is a bit more messy. And yes, I drink and have zero problems with it but obviously people can have issues with drinking too much, either chronically or situationally.

So then just answer what I asked you upthread: what do you do when you serve alcohol? You asked me if I made folks sign something. I’m telling you I don’t. What do you do? Do you ask them to sign something? I’m really curious!

This is not all one person responding to you. I made the comment about signing something. It was sarcasm meant to convey it is an absurd concept to expect or assume we can control or know how adults drinking in our home will behave or act so it's a risk we take on some level when we serve alcohol in our home. Which, yes I serve alcohol.

Of course I don't ask anyone to sign anything. But I also don't "expect everyone to drink responsibly". I hope they will and know they might not and if they don't it will be dealt with. You've never had anyone over indulge in your home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would appreciate mimosas at a kid's party! Some people are judgmental about alcohol being anywhere in the vicinity of kids though.

I think it's more judgement about serving alcohol to people who you know are driving away from your home with children in their car.

oh bull. you tryiing to tell me these people don't have a beer when they go out to dinner and then ... DRIVE HOME!

I think the differences are a couple:

At an all-class birthday party you don't know the drinking habits of the adults. Someone previously said I assume all adults drink responsibly and don't drive drunk. Why would you ever assume that? Um, clearly people drive impaired all the time. So no, I wouldn't feel comfortable serving booze over a multi-hour party to adults I don't even know and then having them drive home with their kids.

If people drink at dinner and then drive home, that is fully their choice. In this scenario, you are serving them the alcohol. No you wouldn't be held liable in most states if anything happened, but it's not great either.

I didn’t say I assume all adults drink responsibly and don’t drive drunk. I said if you’re at MY home, I expect you to drink responsibly no matter who is present.

Is this conveyed to everyone coming in? How does that go? At al all-class birthday party for 5 year olds do they sign something at the door?

If you read my post, I said I wouldn’t serve alcohol at an all-class party. And no, I don’t lecture my guests when they arrive. They are free to grab a beer or glass of wine (or more likely we are serving them). If someone seemed impaired, I would pull them aside if they had driven if they didn’t have a spouse to drive them home. But this hasn’t happened in my home. Does this happen to you? I’m curious about this line of questioning. I’ve never been lectured at someone’s home.

Your tone here indicates you'd be great at lecturing people though.

Maybe? But you’re the one who doesn’t trust adults to self-monitor their drinking.

Why are you continuing to act like all adults self-monitor their drinking well??? There are threads on DCUM constantly about people's drinking habits. It's an issue for people. Some people do not in fact monitor their drinking well. Just because you're friends with them and know them does not preclude them from this fate. That's nice that you think no one would do this in your home or if they did you would notice and say something to them as if you are in an after school special. Real life is a bit more messy. And yes, I drink and have zero problems with it but obviously people can have issues with drinking too much, either chronically or situationally.

So then just answer what I asked you upthread: what do you do when you serve alcohol? You asked me if I made folks sign something. I’m telling you I don’t. What do you do? Do you ask them to sign something? I’m really curious!

This is not all one person responding to you. I made the comment about signing something. It was sarcasm meant to convey it is an absurd concept to expect or assume we can control or know how adults drinking in our home will behave or act so it's a risk we take on some level when we serve alcohol in our home. Which, yes I serve alcohol.

Of course I don't ask anyone to sign anything. But I also don't "expect everyone to drink responsibly". I hope they will and know they might not and if they don't it will be dealt with. You've never had anyone over indulge in your home?

NP-No, I have never had anyone overindulge in my home because I don’t serve alcohol at party’s where it is inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting to see this thread. I have teenagers and starting at about middle school, my spouse and I made a point of discussing who was the designated driver in front of our kids on the way to a any all-family gatherings and then one of us doesn't drink. Same if we go out as a family to dinner at a restaurant or say a sporting event where alcohol might be served. Because we don't want our kids having the impression it's okay to have a couple drinks and then gage how you feel and drive anyway. I do believe most (not all) adults can do this pretty well. But teens should not be doing this. They don't have the experience or judgment and it should be black and white. Had a drink? Do not drive. Ever. Your friend has been drinking but says they are fine? Do not get in the car with them.

We seem to be in the minority on this and lots of people keep on drinking and driving and modeling that for their kids while probably saying something completely different to them.

My point is drink up at the party now while they are in kindergarten. Guilt free!

I completely agree with this.

Mimosas at preschool birthday parties were common, mainly because attendees were walking over from their house in the neighborhood.

When the kids are old enough to realize what's going on, people should be more careful. We have the same conversation because a teen is not going to be able to judge tolerance. And to be honest, there are a bummer of adults, particularly dieting petite women, who probably should not be driving after one drink anyway. Or someone on medication and they don't realize their body will handle the alcohol differently that night. Easier to just make a clear break between alcohol and driving. And there are so many options now to Uber, there's no excuse.

Teens definitely notice when their parents are being hypocritical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would appreciate mimosas at a kid's party! Some people are judgmental about alcohol being anywhere in the vicinity of kids though.

I think it's more judgement about serving alcohol to people who you know are driving away from your home with children in their car.

oh bull. you tryiing to tell me these people don't have a beer when they go out to dinner and then ... DRIVE HOME!

I think the differences are a couple:

At an all-class birthday party you don't know the drinking habits of the adults. Someone previously said I assume all adults drink responsibly and don't drive drunk. Why would you ever assume that? Um, clearly people drive impaired all the time. So no, I wouldn't feel comfortable serving booze over a multi-hour party to adults I don't even know and then having them drive home with their kids.

If people drink at dinner and then drive home, that is fully their choice. In this scenario, you are serving them the alcohol. No you wouldn't be held liable in most states if anything happened, but it's not great either.

I didn’t say I assume all adults drink responsibly and don’t drive drunk. I said if you’re at MY home, I expect you to drink responsibly no matter who is present.

Is this conveyed to everyone coming in? How does that go? At al all-class birthday party for 5 year olds do they sign something at the door?

If you read my post, I said I wouldn’t serve alcohol at an all-class party. And no, I don’t lecture my guests when they arrive. They are free to grab a beer or glass of wine (or more likely we are serving them). If someone seemed impaired, I would pull them aside if they had driven if they didn’t have a spouse to drive them home. But this hasn’t happened in my home. Does this happen to you? I’m curious about this line of questioning. I’ve never been lectured at someone’s home.

Your tone here indicates you'd be great at lecturing people though.

Maybe? But you’re the one who doesn’t trust adults to self-monitor their drinking.

Why are you continuing to act like all adults self-monitor their drinking well??? There are threads on DCUM constantly about people's drinking habits. It's an issue for people. Some people do not in fact monitor their drinking well. Just because you're friends with them and know them does not preclude them from this fate. That's nice that you think no one would do this in your home or if they did you would notice and say something to them as if you are in an after school special. Real life is a bit more messy. And yes, I drink and have zero problems with it but obviously people can have issues with drinking too much, either chronically or situationally.

So then just answer what I asked you upthread: what do you do when you serve alcohol? You asked me if I made folks sign something. I’m telling you I don’t. What do you do? Do you ask them to sign something? I’m really curious!

This is not all one person responding to you. I made the comment about signing something. It was sarcasm meant to convey it is an absurd concept to expect or assume we can control or know how adults drinking in our home will behave or act so it's a risk we take on some level when we serve alcohol in our home. Which, yes I serve alcohol.

Of course I don't ask anyone to sign anything. But I also don't "expect everyone to drink responsibly". I hope they will and know they might not and if they don't it will be dealt with. You've never had anyone over indulge in your home?

To be totally honest, I don’t think someone has driven drunk after leaving my house. Typically one spouse sticks to 1 or 2 beers, or people walk or take Uber. We don’t throw “ragers,” it’s typically a dinner party. If I thought someone overindulged before driving I would handle it. Nobody takes a breathalyzer before leaving our home, but this is my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asking for thoughts!

We had a birthday party for our kindergartener recently, an "all class" affair (though she has a small class). It was a late morning party with some games/crafts and a face painter. We had snacks set out that we hoped would appeal to both kids and parents, including mimosas and a few beers in an ice bucket for the grown ups in a little station distinct from the kid stuff. I just figured if a bunch of adults had to hang out with other adults they don't know and watch kiddos for a few hours, a little Prosecco wouldn't be the worst idea. We served pizza and cake before everyone went home.

When I pointed to the snack and drink stations, I got several "oh, really?" and raised eyebrows in regard to the drinks. Not everyone, of course, but enough that I started feeling self-conscious.

This was my first time throwing an all-class party. Did I do something weird??

Just as I would not give adults "goody bags" at an adult party. I would not serve alcoholic beverages at a child's birthday party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking for thoughts!

We had a birthday party for our kindergartener recently, an "all class" affair (though she has a small class). It was a late morning party with some games/crafts and a face painter. We had snacks set out that we hoped would appeal to both kids and parents, including mimosas and a few beers in an ice bucket for the grown ups in a little station distinct from the kid stuff. I just figured if a bunch of adults had to hang out with other adults they don't know and watch kiddos for a few hours, a little Prosecco wouldn't be the worst idea. We served pizza and cake before everyone went home.

When I pointed to the snack and drink stations, I got several "oh, really?" and raised eyebrows in regard to the drinks. Not everyone, of course, but enough that I started feeling self-conscious.

This was my first time throwing an all-class party. Did I do something weird??

Just as I would not give adults "goody bags" at an adult party. I would not serve alcoholic beverages at a child's birthday party.

I misread this as “adult goody bags.” Thanks for the laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking for thoughts!

We had a birthday party for our kindergartener recently, an "all class" affair (though she has a small class). It was a late morning party with some games/crafts and a face painter. We had snacks set out that we hoped would appeal to both kids and parents, including mimosas and a few beers in an ice bucket for the grown ups in a little station distinct from the kid stuff. I just figured if a bunch of adults had to hang out with other adults they don't know and watch kiddos for a few hours, a little Prosecco wouldn't be the worst idea. We served pizza and cake before everyone went home.

When I pointed to the snack and drink stations, I got several "oh, really?" and raised eyebrows in regard to the drinks. Not everyone, of course, but enough that I started feeling self-conscious.

This was my first time throwing an all-class party. Did I do something weird??

Just as I would not give adults "goody bags" at an adult party. I would not serve alcoholic beverages at a child's birthday party.

Have you never been given a favor from a wedding? Or baby shower? I have seen "goody bags" at adult parties.

[Anonymous]

I'd be surprised at beer in the late morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking for thoughts!

We had a birthday party for our kindergartener recently, an "all class" affair (though she has a small class). It was a late morning party with some games/crafts and a face painter. We had snacks set out that we hoped would appeal to both kids and parents, including mimosas and a few beers in an ice bucket for the grown ups in a little station distinct from the kid stuff. I just figured if a bunch of adults had to hang out with other adults they don't know and watch kiddos for a few hours, a little Prosecco wouldn't be the worst idea. We served pizza and cake before everyone went home.

When I pointed to the snack and drink stations, I got several "oh, really?" and raised eyebrows in regard to the drinks. Not everyone, of course, but enough that I started feeling self-conscious.

This was my first time throwing an all-class party. Did I do something weird??

Just as I would not give adults "goody bags" at an adult party. I would not serve alcoholic beverages at a child's birthday party.

Have you never been given a favor from a wedding? Or baby shower? I have seen "goody bags" at adult parties.

Puh-lease.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking for thoughts!

We had a birthday party for our kindergartener recently, an "all class" affair (though she has a small class). It was a late morning party with some games/crafts and a face painter. We had snacks set out that we hoped would appeal to both kids and parents, including mimosas and a few beers in an ice bucket for the grown ups in a little station distinct from the kid stuff. I just figured if a bunch of adults had to hang out with other adults they don't know and watch kiddos for a few hours, a little Prosecco wouldn't be the worst idea. We served pizza and cake before everyone went home.

When I pointed to the snack and drink stations, I got several "oh, really?" and raised eyebrows in regard to the drinks. Not everyone, of course, but enough that I started feeling self-conscious.

This was my first time throwing an all-class party. Did I do something weird??

Just as I would not give adults "goody bags" at an adult party. I would not serve alcoholic beverages at a child's birthday party.

Have you never been given a favor from a wedding? Or baby shower? I have seen "goody bags" at adult parties.

Puh-lease.

So you have seen it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking for thoughts!

We had a birthday party for our kindergartener recently, an "all class" affair (though she has a small class). It was a late morning party with some games/crafts and a face painter. We had snacks set out that we hoped would appeal to both kids and parents, including mimosas and a few beers in an ice bucket for the grown ups in a little station distinct from the kid stuff. I just figured if a bunch of adults had to hang out with other adults they don't know and watch kiddos for a few hours, a little Prosecco wouldn't be the worst idea. We served pizza and cake before everyone went home.

When I pointed to the snack and drink stations, I got several "oh, really?" and raised eyebrows in regard to the drinks. Not everyone, of course, but enough that I started feeling self-conscious.

This was my first time throwing an all-class party. Did I do something weird??

Just as I would not give adults "goody bags" at an adult party. I would not serve alcoholic beverages at a child's birthday party.

Have you never been given a favor from a wedding? Or baby shower? I have seen "goody bags" at adult parties.

Puh-lease.

So you have seen it.

Uh, no, I have not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking for thoughts!

We had a birthday party for our kindergartener recently, an "all class" affair (though she has a small class). It was a late morning party with some games/crafts and a face painter. We had snacks set out that we hoped would appeal to both kids and parents, including mimosas and a few beers in an ice bucket for the grown ups in a little station distinct from the kid stuff. I just figured if a bunch of adults had to hang out with other adults they don't know and watch kiddos for a few hours, a little Prosecco wouldn't be the worst idea. We served pizza and cake before everyone went home.

When I pointed to the snack and drink stations, I got several "oh, really?" and raised eyebrows in regard to the drinks. Not everyone, of course, but enough that I started feeling self-conscious.

This was my first time throwing an all-class party. Did I do something weird??

Just as I would not give adults "goody bags" at an adult party. I would not serve alcoholic beverages at a child's birthday party.

OP here. This is actually pretty funny because I *do* give party favors at our annual holiday parties and other parties that we throw outside of a typical dinner party. I'm just a kooky gal!

An observation: As I've said, all of this has been really interesting/helpful. The main split I see is folks who consider a kids birthday party, regardless of setting, to be solely a children's affair. If it was a drop-off party, or a party at a kids gym, etc...I would totally agree that alcohol would be inappropriate. But in my home, where I knew adults will be staying for a few hours, I took a different view given my hope was that adults would socialize and enjoy the gathering of as well. Not to simplify too much--but it's why I put out brie in addition to cheddar. (Yes, I know some kids like brie!)

Same idea with the holiday parties we throw that I mentioned above. Those are perhaps more adult centric, but I always make sure there are good kiddo activities/food/drinks.

(Again, I'm mostly just amazing I set off such a discussion!)

[Anonymous]

I had a similar thing OP. We did our first all-class party for my DS's 5th. It was afternoon (3-5pm) and we had juiceboxes for the kids and beer and wine for adults. No one touched the beer and wine (I think maybe one dad had a beer). Prior to this, our kids' bday parties had been with our friends and their kids of various ages so we would always have drinks, but that's definitely not the norm for these school parties. I felt a little self-conscious about it (like you!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking for thoughts!

We had a birthday party for our kindergartener recently, an "all class" affair (though she has a small class). It was a late morning party with some games/crafts and a face painter. We had snacks set out that we hoped would appeal to both kids and parents, including mimosas and a few beers in an ice bucket for the grown ups in a little station distinct from the kid stuff. I just figured if a bunch of adults had to hang out with other adults they don't know and watch kiddos for a few hours, a little Prosecco wouldn't be the worst idea. We served pizza and cake before everyone went home.

When I pointed to the snack and drink stations, I got several "oh, really?" and raised eyebrows in regard to the drinks. Not everyone, of course, but enough that I started feeling self-conscious.

This was my first time throwing an all-class party. Did I do something weird??

Just as I would not give adults "goody bags" at an adult party. I would not serve alcoholic beverages at a child's birthday party.

Have you never been given a favor from a wedding? Or baby shower? I have seen "goody bags" at adult parties.

Puh-lease.

So you have seen it.

Uh, no, I have not.

Party favors for adults at baby showers/weddings are the norm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a similar thing OP. We did our first all-class party for my DS's 5th. It was afternoon (3-5pm) and we had juiceboxes for the kids and beer and wine for adults. No one touched the beer and wine (I think maybe one dad had a beer). Prior to this, our kids' bday parties had been with our friends and their kids of various ages so we would always have drinks, but that's definitely not the norm for these school parties. I felt a little self-conscious about it (like you!)

Thanks! Same with our friends.

You know, I bet you're right--its also just comfort level with the folks around you. I know that a lot of parents (understandably, given how judge-y everyone is) never want to do something others might look down on. So perhaps most people would have had a drink at a close friends' house, but just didn't want to be "that parent" who goes for the mimosas first

May explain the sheepish looks on the faces of those who did grab a mimosa. And the one dad who grabbed a beer.