13yr old's pediatrician just told her she is overweight and I am pissed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, are there literally people on here telling OP that her daughter who is 5ft and 5 inches tall with a 27 inch waist and wears S/M clothes - OVERWEIGHT?

And we wonder why eating disorders are on the rise so much.

You all believing BMI is a trusted thing is insane

we were telling her that her pediatrician was not wrong for perhaps alerting her and her DD that a BMI of almost 28 (based on the original weight OP reported) was not out of line. OP later came back to tell us she gave us the wrong data.

The actual BMI of 25 is still overweight for a 13 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At my daughter's well visit and during that time she talked to her about physical activity etc...

My daughter does cross fit in winter, volleyball in Fall, and travel softball year round. She definitely has an athletic body. She wears a size 6 in jeans and a small or medium in shirts/pants. She is 5.25 height and was 151lbs with her clothes and sneakers on.

This pediatrician talked to her about being in the overweight category in the BMI and I almost lost my $hit. My jaw dropped. She looks nothing overweight. She has muscular legs and arms (she is a softball pitcher) and no belly gut. She isn't a twig but man, I was thrown they would talk like this to a girl teen. When we left, I told my daughter to not listen to her and she is strong and beautiful and muscle weights more than fat and not to worry at all. But I know this made her start overthinking. I could see it.

Is this normal? Really thinking of moving doctors.

I would switch doctors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, are there literally people on here telling OP that her daughter who is 5ft and 5 inches tall with a 27 inch waist and wears S/M clothes - OVERWEIGHT?

And we wonder why eating disorders are on the rise so much.

You all believing BMI is a trusted thing is insane

Staying thin at middle age is a struggle. Add to that a lifetime of misinformation and you are going to get some of the weird responses on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She IS overweight for her height. It is her doctor's job to talk to her about that. It is NOT about her looks but about her health. Nothing to get your feelings hurt about.

+1 This is about her health. We don't need a generation of people reliant on Ozempic. Start addressing the real issues early.

Oh brother! I am the one you're responding to and on Ozempic. Just stop.

You don't wish your parents helped you earlier?

I am not going to comment on what my parents did or didn't do. Your comment on a "generation reliant on Ozempic" is not necessary. Some people use drugs to get healthy. Nothing wrong with it.

The point is there are things you can do when a child is showing signs of obesity before it gets to that point. How many 80s/90s parents had blinders on thinking “oh my kids just big boned”. It would be negligent if the doctor did not point that OPs daughter is only 13 years old, 5”5 and 150+pounds…. And she’s apparently super active? I would think that would be something to flag for the parents to watch/monitor.

That's not the point. That point I agree with and I said the same thing myself. You snuck in a hateful comment about Ozempic which is what I was responding to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is 5.25 height and was 151lbs with her clothes and sneakers on.

I'm just under 5'2" and I'm 125 pounds -- in my mid-50s. I control my eating to maintain my BMI.

OP, she IS heavy for her height, and lucky for her she is still at an age where it can melt right off if she puts her mind to it.

Yes, some of it could be muscle mass from athletic activity. But not all of it.

It is better that she hear this message from a doctor than from her own mother whose words carry additional weight (pun intended). It is a dose of reality for your DD to pay attention to her creeping weight gain, and to pay attention to what she eats.

If she doesn't learn it now, she will be 250 pounds at age 55.

She corrected it to 5 feet 5.25 inches which is drastically different. And in your mid 50's you probably have less bone density and 100% less muscle. But even still, you should go by measurements and fat index over BMI

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my daughter's well visit and during that time she talked to her about physical activity etc...

My daughter does cross fit in winter, volleyball in Fall, and travel softball year round. She definitely has an athletic body. She wears a size 6 in jeans and a small or medium in shirts/pants. She is 5.25 height and was 151lbs with her clothes and sneakers on.

This pediatrician talked to her about being in the overweight category in the BMI and I almost lost my $hit. My jaw dropped. She looks nothing overweight. She has muscular legs and arms (she is a softball pitcher) and no belly gut. She isn't a twig but man, I was thrown they would talk like this to a girl teen. When we left, I told my daughter to not listen to her and she is strong and beautiful and muscle weights more than fat and not to worry at all. But I know this made her start overthinking. I could see it.

Is this normal? Really thinking of moving doctors.

Man, I feel for doctors these days on some level. The lady is just doing her job OP. She is in fact overweight on the BMI chart.

First, muscle does not weight more than fat. Muscle is more dense so a pound of muscle is going to look different than a pound of fat for sure.

I think your role is to ask how your daughter feels. How did your daughter process what the doctor said? Talk together about how being an athlete can change body composition. All you did is just message to her daughter that the conversation upset YOU and you are not a safe space for her to talk about it anymore. Don't listen to the doctor. Don't worry. Done.

Good pediatricians never (and I mean NEVER) use the adult BMI scale to dictate if a growing teen is considered overweight. Lazy ones do.

Good pedestrians never (and I mean NEVER) tell a growing teen they are overweight or obese. That is life altering and can immediately cause ED's and other mental disorders

This is just really not true. There are ways to have these conversations, which need to be had. It is also life altering to carry around extra weight your whole adult life. Extra weight as a younger person absolutely predicts higher chance of obesity in adulthood. These are facts.

No one knows how this doctor handled the convo. We're just reading OP's knee jerk reaction to the word overweight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She IS overweight for her height. It is her doctor's job to talk to her about that. It is NOT about her looks but about her health. Nothing to get your feelings hurt about.

This. 151 is too heavy for that height. All pediatricians do this at the annual visit (check BMI against the chart and log in the patient's progress). This is to ward off obesity in children. You should be applauding the pediatrician not angry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my daughter's well visit and during that time she talked to her about physical activity etc...

My daughter does cross fit in winter, volleyball in Fall, and travel softball year round. She definitely has an athletic body. She wears a size 6 in jeans and a small or medium in shirts/pants. She is 5 ft 5.25 inches height and was 151lbs with her clothes and sneakers on.

This pediatrician talked to her about being in the overweight category in the BMI and I almost lost my $hit. My jaw dropped. She looks nothing overweight. She has muscular legs and arms (she is a softball pitcher) and no belly gut. She isn't a twig but man, I was thrown they would talk like this to a girl teen. When we left, I told my daughter to not listen to her and she is strong and beautiful and muscle weights more than fat and not to worry at all. But I know this made her start overthinking. I could see it.

Is this normal? Really thinking of moving doctors.

Omg I am the OP. Sorry, she is 5 ft and 5.25 inches. I changed it

You mean 5'5"? That's very different from 5.25

At 5'5 and 151, it still puts her in the overweight BMI.

By 2 pounds right? Or is the chart different for teens?

The Excuse making and attempts at rationalization on this thread are astounding!

Her BMI is 24.9, barely overweight.

She's 13, and is still maturing.

From 12-16 I didn't lose any weight, but my body absolutely thinned out. I grew in height until I was 16.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is 5.25 height and was 151lbs with her clothes and sneakers on.

I'm just under 5'2" and I'm 125 pounds -- in my mid-50s. I control my eating to maintain my BMI.

OP, she IS heavy for her height, and lucky for her she is still at an age where it can melt right off if she puts her mind to it.

Yes, some of it could be muscle mass from athletic activity. But not all of it.

It is better that she hear this message from a doctor than from her own mother whose words carry additional weight (pun intended). It is a dose of reality for your DD to pay attention to her creeping weight gain, and to pay attention to what she eats.

If she doesn't learn it now, she will be 250 pounds at age 55.

Karen - read the comments first

I have to work damn hard every single day to keep my weight where it is. Every pound gained after age 50 may never come off again. That is a fact of aging. Go ahead and call me a Karen if makes you feel better. But this is the reality of getting older. You have to restrict what you eat in addition to regular exercise unless you want to gain an average of ten pounds per year. Her doctor is looking at the long-range graph curve of where she is right now and where she is headed in 20 years unless she learns to pay attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her BMI is high, but her doctor should do a body fat measurement before having any concern, because you are absolutely correct that, if she has a lot of muscle, a high BMI alone does not indicate a health issue.
I would likely change doctors if her current doctor does not grasp that issue.

13 YO girls rarely have "a lot of muscle." Even ones who are as active as OP says her DD is.

This is wrong. Yeah, they may not bulge like a weight lifter, but young female athletes can have lots of muscle.

+1

My 14yr old son has a 6 pack abs and bulky muscular legs for sure. He is overweight on the BMI but thankfully we have a doctor that knows he plays 3 sports, swims, and workouts out. One look at him and you aren't having an "you are overweight" convo. If a pediatrician ever called one of my teens overweight to their face that is barely teetering on the stupid BMI scale, I would be livid too.

[Anonymous]

She is overweight op. It’s a medical diagnosis. She could be fit but also overweight. See football linemen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is 5.25 height and was 151lbs with her clothes and sneakers on.

I'm just under 5'2" and I'm 125 pounds -- in my mid-50s. I control my eating to maintain my BMI.

OP, she IS heavy for her height, and lucky for her she is still at an age where it can melt right off if she puts her mind to it.

Yes, some of it could be muscle mass from athletic activity. But not all of it.

It is better that she hear this message from a doctor than from her own mother whose words carry additional weight (pun intended). It is a dose of reality for your DD to pay attention to her creeping weight gain, and to pay attention to what she eats.

If she doesn't learn it now, she will be 250 pounds at age 55.

Karen - read the comments first

I have to work damn hard every single day to keep my weight where it is. Every pound gained after age 50 may never come off again. That is a fact of aging. Go ahead and call me a Karen if makes you feel better. But this is the reality of getting older. You have to restrict what you eat in addition to regular exercise unless you want to gain an average of ten pounds per year. Her doctor is looking at the long-range graph curve of where she is right now and where she is headed in 20 years unless she learns to pay attention.

Jesus Karen, she corrected the height. Why are you still talking about yourself? Go to the senior citizens board please

[Anonymous]

What? She is chubby you guys. I played volleyball in high school and it's barely exercise. The other two sports she plays are jokes.

[Anonymous]

Not only is she over weight, but she is obese. The doctor wouldn’t be doing their job if they didn’t let you all know.

[Anonymous]

New AAP guidelines suggest that pediatricians should be treating earlier and more aggressively which is probably why your doctor spoke up.

https://www.aap.org/en/news-room/news-releases/aap/2022/american-academy-of-pediatrics-issues-its-first-comprehensive-guideline-on-evaluating-treating-children-and-adolescents-with-obesity/