Make our kids take loans and pay them at the end as surprise, good idea?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, your kids don't need undue stress from loans.
They're adults now, treat them as such.

Just tell them if their GPAs drop below a threshold, they are off college fund.

Adults pay their own bills. Pay nothing, OP.

[Anonymous]

My parents paid for college and law school. I worked super hard because it was my parents’ money and I always work hard.

I knew someone in law school on loans who never went to class. He was very smart but never worked hard.

Hope your husband’s values didn’t trickle down to your kids.

[Anonymous]

We fully paid for college and both kids took it seriously and did very well. If they had to worry about paying for it, or work full time during college I am guessing it would not have gone well. So your manipulation may not work the way you think it will.

I paid for grad school through loans, scholarships and work study. I have to say the work study was pretty demeaning (unlike in college when it was pretty common). Only a few people in my MBA program did it, and we were definitely treated like the poors (despite the fact that I went to a Big 3 and a top 10 SLAC). The program doesn't even do that anymore. I swore I would never put my kids through that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for college and law school. I worked super hard because it was my parents’ money and I always work hard.

I knew someone in law school on loans who never went to class. He was very smart but never worked hard.

Hope your husband’s values didn’t trickle down to your kids.

+1 My parents paid for college, and I worked very hard and never missed class because I knew my parents were paying a lot of money for me to be there. It's pathetic that OP's husband didn't work hard because his parents paid for his college. Hopefully, their kids have better values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for college and law school. I worked super hard because it was my parents’ money and I always work hard.

I knew someone in law school on loans who never went to class. He was very smart but never worked hard.

Hope your husband’s values didn’t trickle down to your kids.

+1 My parents paid for college, and I worked very hard and never missed class because I knew my parents were paying a lot of money for me to be there. It's pathetic that OP's husband didn't work hard because his parents paid for his college. Hopefully, their kids have better values.

Same here. And, I always had to show my parents my grades and was accountable for them.

My husband did have college as an opportunity after high school and it was really hard for him to get his degree in his 30s. We will absolutely pay as we don't want ours to struggle. And, our kids know our expectations and they are accountable to us in terms of grades.

[Anonymous]

Put conditions on it. “We will pay if you get a 3.3” If they can’t do it, make them take out loans. If you surprise repay the loans at the end, no harm no foul.

[Anonymous]

One of my siblings is reasonably well off financially and has one child. The sibling could easily afford to write a check to cover the costs. Instead, they chose to have their child take out loans to cover any amount that was not already covered by scholarships. The deal was that if the child graduated and maintained a sufficient GPA, then the parent would pay off the loans. If the child didn't graduate or failed to maintain the GPA, then they would be responsible for repaying the loans.

I think that was a good way to strike a balance between helping set your child up for the future, but also making them take personal responsibility for the choices they make. My sibling wasn't going to finance 4 years of partying and a 2.0 GPA.

I don't like the sneakiness though.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a foolish idea to pay loan origination fees and any interest just to have a "surprise!" moment at the end. Just ask any financial advisor.

I also don't believe in threatening to stop paying for bad grades -- there have got to be other ways to communicate with and help your kids if they're struggling. That should be communication that's happening all the way through -- not waiting for the end of the semester for a bad grade that's too late to fix. I'm not talking about checking whether they've turned in their homework, but it's about talking about a balanced courseload, the importance of going to class (because college profs don't generally care if kids don't show up!), about building relationships with profs and TAs, about going to your advisor for help, etc. College is a whole different ball of wax from high school and there's nothing wrong with expecting your kids to take responsibility for themselves without essentially saying good luck, sink or swim, I'll let you know at the end of the semester whether I'll keep paying for you.