Make our kids take loans and pay them at the end as surprise, good idea?

[Anonymous]

Huh? That would severely limit their options.

So, no.

[Anonymous]

My friend’s parents did this. She ended up being extremely stressed out about money during college when there was no point to be. I recommend what another posted, just telling them you’ll pay if they keep above a certain gpa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We can fully fund 6 years of private college for our kids but may not tell them and claim that we are broke and they need to take out loans.

Has anyone done this, or is it crazy?

DH basically wasted 1 year of school because he knew his parents would pay for it, so I wonder if this is a good idea.

It’s okay not to pay for more than for years but not to lie to your kids. If you can afford more than four years I’d encourage you to give your kids the flexibility to spend time at college pursuing their dreams. I didn’t goof off or waste time but at the end of my sophomore year wanted to add a second major to give me more career options. My parents made it clear I had to graduate in four years so no second major for me. I’ve spent 30 years in a career that’s fine but not my first choice. I’m counting the days until I can retire and pursue my passion. If you can afford it give your kids time to figure out how they want to spend the 30+ years they will spend in a career - no strings attached.

[Anonymous]

My DH just went through a thing with his son (my stepson). He chose to go to an an expensive private school in a southern state where the publics are half the price and better schools. The boy did this, we think, under pressure and untruths frim the other side of the family, who attended this private school for generations. DH agreed to pay for half the price of the public, or $12K.Child said, all the rest was taken care of. Relations are not well enough among family to know/ask what's really going on. So now DH, in child's sophomore year, is helping him take out loans, for the college he hoped he would not choose, but did, on false premises of having it paid for (it will be paid for only by DH and loans here on out). What a crappy way to handle your kid's future.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a really stupid idea, not to mention that students can only take out $27K on their own. But even if they could take out more, I think they'd be talking to each other about you for years to come about how stupid of an idea it was and how they felt manipulated by you and your lies.

[Anonymous]

If you can afford to save that kind of money, you are living very comfortably and your kids will know you are lying.

[Anonymous]

Have them take federal loans, pay the rest, then offer the remainder saved for either paying off loan or down-payment.

Fwiw, I worked a lot while in school to help pay for tuition. It def impacted my grades, but I gained a much more well rounded education with that experience.

[Anonymous]

You should have been teaching money management long before now. Stupid idea.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t tell them you are broke, that seems manipulative. Won’t the second kid find out when you pay the first one’s off?

But DH and I had similar happen to us and it was the best thing. We took out student loans and yes, we were stressed about money and worked hard through college. We both look back and would not change a thing because we learned so much about our work ethic and budgeting. It was okay to struggle to meet ends meet for a while and figure it all out. Our parents couldn’t have paid more than they did.

In both of our situations, a different family member stepped in and paid the loans when we graduated. It wasn’t our parents who we lived with as kids. We have thought about being up front with our kids and having them take some subsidized student loans and we will pay when they graduate with a degree.

[Anonymous]

Your child can only take out a total of $27k in their own name for undergrad.

[Anonymous]

I know families that did that. It basically put the child even further into emotional “debt” of their parents bc it was, as a PP said, very manipulative. I always thought it was incredibly weird, like a puppet master

[Anonymous]

How exactly do they take out loans with no income? You're the one taking out the loans.Just tell them they have to pay you back, then waive the payback at some point. But they're not paying either way in college so how does that build character?

[Anonymous]

It could go well

Or you could end up on an episode of “Snapped.”

[Anonymous]

Not only is it foolish to rack up interest, but your kids will make less than optimal choices to save money - lesser school that doesn't open doors, career track that doesn't require grad school, work study that impacts their grades, skipping study abroad, etc. It could have major ramifications for their lives and future employment. What is the point of money if you don't use it to set your kids up for success?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds manipulative, sneaky and creepy. Unless you have manipulative, sneaky and creepy kids I would never do this.

My parents did this, but they are the poster children for manipulative, sneaky and creepy